AN: Well this is my new one shot. I hope you enjoy. If there's anyone who wanted to read my other story I can't guarantee that I'll ever update that, and I'm sorry, cos I hate when an author does that. Also, I have to say that I not endorsing Bella's behaviour in this, it's just something I needed to write. Usual disclaimers apply.
She knew what she needed to do. She needed to lose herself, to lose all her inhibitions and go with her instincts, her feelings. She needed to get completely drunk.
Bella Swan had waited eighteen years for her first kiss, determined not to waste it on a stranger at a disco, or to just get it over with with a friend. Finally, the summer before college, she went on a few dates with Mike Newton. He was a lovely guy, very cute, and they got on really well, but se still wasn't sure if she liked him 'like that'. When they kissed all she felt was disappointment. His lips were too sloppy, his breathing too loud, and she had to remind herself to close her eyes.
Bella knew that 99.97% of people were disappointed with their first kiss. She knew that as she had only ever dated one guy, it was not unusual that she had not found a good match yet. When she thought of all the men in the world, rationally, she knew that someday she would find someone.
But still, on the inside, she was worried. It was difficult not to be when every day she saw her two best friends with their soulmates. Sometimes it seemed that everywhere she looked she saw happy couples. It evoked a deep ache of loneliness in the pit of her stomach, and made her anxious too.
Why had she felt nothing when she kissed Mike? Not even a flicker of a spark. Was she gay? What if she was asexual? As a romantic who read Austen and Brontë nightly, the thought of never meeting a man, falling in love, getting married and having kids crushed her.
And so she decided that enough was enough. She wanted to quit her wallowing, break out of herself and do what she had been avoiding for years. She would let her feelings get the best of her, let attraction take its course, and kiss a stranger in a nightclub.
She knew her friends would not support this, and, to be honest, she wasn't too proud of the plan herself. So she decided to go out with someone who didn't know her that well, and wouldn't be surprised by her out of character actions. She had just met a nice girl called Jessica who was doing the same course as her in college, so she invited her out to Forks, a nightclub which was notorious for drunken singles. Having been there sober, Bella hated Forks, but she figured that at least no one she knew would be there to see her embarrass herself.
And so Bella found herself in Jessica's apartment, squeezed into a skin-tight blue dress with her push-up bra and sole pair of heels being put to work. Her hair was curled and her make-up was flawless, and she had to admit that she looked hot.
She ignored the nerves in her stomach and indulged in some pre-drinks. She and Jessica had made cocktails, and now Bella helped herself to a third glass.
"You know, Bella," Jessica began with a hiccough, "When I met you in college, I thought you were a bit of a nerd. But, I think this night is gonna be fun!"
Bella grimaced at Jessica's wide grin, and drained her glass. She still couldn't feel the effects. She filled her glass again.
The girls waited until all the drink was gone and then they caught a bus into town. Bella was aware of Jessica's voice being a little too loud. She felt a slight ache in her muscles and noticed that the world around her was spinning a little bit. She smiled.
They tumbled off the bus outside Forks and Bella burst out laughing when Jessica stumbled on her heels, but grabbed her boobs to make sure that they didn't come out of her dress.
Once inside, Bella took up residence at the bar. Jessica wanted to dance, and pouted as she perched next to Bella, but she was soon pulled away to the dancefloor by a handsome young man.
Bella sighed and ordered another drink. How did that just happen to all other girls? What was wrong with her? She knew still too self-conscious, so she downed a shot and ordered a vodka and Coke.
She watched the couples on the dancefloor and felt her stomach twist itself into knots.
"What am I doing?" She wondered to herself, "I don't belong here…"
She looked around for Jessica, almost determined to give up and leave, but then located her making out with her dance partner.
Bella groaned in frustration and turned her attention back to the bar. The mission would continue. She would force herself to drink until she was drunk, then kiss someone and feel it. She would find out, by the end of the night, if she was capable of attraction and love, and living impulsively.
Half an hour later, Bella Swan was, for the first time in her life, completely drunk. She decided that now was the time to act. Or rather, she slipped off the bar stool, and thought that dancing would be fun.
She did her best to sashay onto the dancefloor. She squealed and sang along when one of her favourite songs came on. She let someone hold onto her hips while she danced, but she paid them no attention.
And then she saw him. Tall and muscular with a flash of hair and sparkling emerald eyes. Her eyes roamed over black jeans and a black shirt as she watched him dance with a group of friends. She saw him mouth the words to the song, and she wanted their lips to do that together. She wanted him.
She headed straight for him. His eyes widened and he stopped dancing as he watched her approach. He glanced around quickly, but it was clear that he was her target. He ran his hand through his hair nervously, wondering what this beautiful girl wanted with him.
Suddenly, a crowd of dancers came between them, obscuring them from each other's view. Unconsciously he took a step forward, feeling disappointed. Then he admonished himself. Maybe she was headed for them all along.
Bella stamped her foot a little. He was right there and now she couldn't reach him! Reach him… She looked down at her hand, and decided to take a little leap of faith.
A small hand broke through the crowd and extended toward him. Without thinking he grabbed it and pulled. Bella slipped through the crowd, and crashed into him, his hands flying to her waist, hers to his shoulders and their bodies flush from chest to legs. A crooked grin broke across his face, and her breath caught in her throat. She smiled and leaned in to speak in his ear.
"I'm Bella," she purred, trying to be sexy.
Unfortunately, he immediately realised that she was drunk.
"Edward," he replied in a low velvety voice that she could feel vibrate where their chests touched, before he gently pushed her away.
She frowned slightly and turned around as if to go. He sighed, disappointed again. Would he ever meet a nice girl who doesn't need to get to drunk every weekend to have a good time? He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he felt someone take his hands and place them on their hips, and felt someone soft back into him.
Bella was not a dancer. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't dream of attempting the kind of dancing that brought her this close to a man. But tonight was not about normal circumstances. So as she placed Edward's hands on her hips and felt his hard chest against her back she began to sway and copy the moves she could see around her, doing whatever felt good.
All his life Edward had struggled to remain the perfect gentleman. He opened doors, he put on jackets, and he most certainly did not take advantage of drunk girls. But here was this stunning girl, Bella, pushing herself into him, making him feel every curve of her body. All he could smell was strawberries and freesias, and all he wanted to do was kiss or lick or bite that small patch of neck that was exposed to him as her luscious hair swept to one side while she danced.
"Bella, you'll be the death of me," he groaned into her ear, causing her to shiver, before he attempted to push her away once more.
But Bella had other plans. She simply turned around in his arms, clasped her hands behind his neck and smirked. She no longer felt drunk, but still intoxicated. She looked into his eyes and felt warm all over. Her glance fell to his lips, and she tilted her head up.
As she began to lean in, his hands fell from her waist and he stopped dancing, a troubled look coming over his face. Unable to stop herself, she reached a hand up to his cheek.
"What is it Edward? What's wrong?"
He bit his lip and didn't say anything. Bella began to get worried. Maybe she'd been imagining things that weren't there. Her hand dropped. He didn't want her. Nobody wanted her. She took a step back.
"Bella, I… I want to kiss you. Believe me I really want to kiss you, but this is all wrong. I can't take advantage of you when you've been drinking," Edward finally said. There was a hunger in his eyes, and he looked really torn.
Bella shook her head. The one night she drinks, so she can find the courage to kiss someone, she finds the one guy she wants to kiss, and he won't because she's been drinking!
She cautiously wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up into his eyes.
"I want you to know that I'm not usually like this. In fact, I usually hate girls like this, who get drunk and make a fool out of themselves. But when I came here tonight, I got drunk so I could find someone I was attracted to, and have no inhibitions about kissing them. I promise to be sober every day for the rest of my life, but you damn well better kiss me now."
And then his lips were on hers and she loved it. His kiss was soft yet passionate, their breathing in time and, most importantly, there was definitely a spark. The spark became a flame which coursed through her entire body as they pulled each other impossibly close.
They broke apart when they could no longer breathe and Edward rested his forehead on hers. They were both grinning madly.
"So, can I get your number?" Edward asked.
"That depends," Bella teased, "Can I get another kiss?"