Note: I don't own Starcraft. Okay? And one other thing: Some things in this story are just made up for humor. So if you see an incorrect fact, that's probably the case.
RD: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages… well, preferabley older than 10, at the very least. Anyways, welcome to Starcraft Interview, where we interview people from Starcraft. Today, we shall interview the Terran! Our first guest is none other than… Jim Raynor!
Audience: Yeah! Go Raynor! Woo hoo!
Raynor: -walks to stage-. Howdy, boys. I'm Jim Raynor, Marshall of these parts.
RD: No, Raynor. These are the States. You're Marshall of nothing here,
Raynor: Oh.
RD: So, Raynor. What do you do for a living?
Raynor: Right now, I'm the leader of a mercenary group and I'm the Number 1 wanted criminal in the universe.
RD: Wow. Is it fun?
Raynor: Oh, sure. I just love stealing artifacts. It's what I do.
RD: Thank you, Raynor. You can go now.
Raynor:-leaves-
RD: Now, the next person is… Tychus Findlay!
Tychus: -walks up on stage-
Audience: Ty-chus! Ty-chus!
Tychus: Boy, it's about time!
RD: Tychus, that's not what you're supposed to say.
Tychus: What?
RD: You're supposed to say something else. You're supposed to say… never mind. We're trying to keep this language free. Next question: Who is that woman on your marine armor?
Tychus: That's my wife.
RD: Aw, how romantic. What happened to her?
Tychus: I murdered her. And in a very gruesome fashion, too. First, I-
RD: Tychus, stop!
Tychus: Why?
RD: See, Tychus, there's a little thing called "rated G". And that's what we're trying to accomplish here.
Tychus: You DARE tell me what to do! I'll …
-security guards haul Tychus away.
RD: Sorry about that. He has anger management problems. Anyways, our next guest is…
Mengsk!
Mengsk:-walks on to stage-
Audience: Booo!
Mengsk: Gee, guys. That makes me feel so unloved.
Audience: -in unison- We hate you, Mengsk!
Mengsk: That makes me feel better.
RD: So, Mengsk. What do YOU do for a living?
Mengsk: I am an evil dictator of the Terran Dominion. I am the greatest leader ever. I'm like…uh,… the Palpatine of this galaxy.
RD: Palpatine? You know him?
Mengsk: Yeah, he's my homie. We both took a class called, " How to Become an Evil Emperor of an Entire Galaxy."
RD: That sounds nice. But that's Starwars. This is Starcraft. Now, Mengsk?
Mengsk: Yes?
RD: Why don't we let you go right now.
Mengsk: Sure. I have better things to do than go on talk shows, anyway. Like planning ways to kill the Protoss and Zerg.
RD: Thank you, Mengsk.
Mengsk: -leaves-
RD: That was this episode, folks. Tomorrow, we shall interview more of the Terran, such as an SCV, a marine, and a firebat! See you next time!