Title: The Long Walk Home

Summary: Spock has been involved with Uhura for the entirety of their 5-year mission; now that the Enterprise is coming home secrets from that relationship are coming to light. Damaged in ways he cannot understand, Spock has nowhere to turn. Dr. McCoy has also been hurting, but the southern boy in him can't stand on the sidelines and watch Spock suffer. Can the broken find healing in each other?

Written by request for BlackMetalHeart

Chapter Playlist:

Storyteller- Trapt

I Don't Believe You- Pink

Destination Heartbreak- Loverboy

Wasteland- 10 Years

Making Circles- Christian Kane

Disclaimer: It's slash, so obviously there is going to be non-canon content. If you're gonna complain, just be polite about it.

Oh, and I write for fun, not for money or, you know, because I'm any good at it. So no sue-y.

Uhura's gonna be a bit of a b*tch in this one, so if you love her, this is probably not for you.

This is my first time writing McCoy/Spock. (Actually, I've never really even read the stuff.) But I love McCoy and Spock, so hopefully it won't be too hard to put them together.

The chapter 'playlist' is just a list of a few songs that I listened to while writing this that I thought matched the chapter content. I wish I could post this list somewhere for ya'll to download, but my internet connection can't handle that kind of activity. So if you want to listen to any of the songs I advise you to google/youtube it.

[EDIT 7-17-2011] – Quick cleanup, I was reading these the other day and noticed some errors. Highly unlikely I'll catch 'em all, but there was a continuity error I was particularly interested in correcting. If that's taken care of, then I'll be happy.

….

Chapter One

Dr. Leonard H. McCoy stood next to the controls for teleport pad three and tried to look bored or uninterested. As a result he just looked pissed off. Fortunately, the crew considered this to be his default expression so no one really noticed his agitation. Most of the ship was in some state of happiness, it rolled off of most of them like fog from dry ice. The doctor, however, wanted to keep his excitement low key. He was a senior officer and didn't need to be seen acting like a little girl getting a pony.

Scotty, on the other hand, had no such qualms. The engineer tapped the console impatiently. "Ah cannae believe how long this is taking."

Len snorted. "Relax, Scotty. It just feels like it's taking longer than usual because emotions are running high right now. This is the last assignment and everyone is in a hurry to get home, but that's no reason to ignore regulations."

"Aye." The Scotsman grinned. "Five years is a long time tae spend away from earth. Aside from that wee break after the battle with the Narada Ah have nae been home in almost seven years."

"Almost eight for me, including the time at the academy."

Scotty gave the doctor a sympathetic frown. "The ex-wife?" At the doctor's affirmative the engineer cursed softy. "That's a hell of a long time tae go without getting' tae hold your daughter. When was the last time ya got tae speak with her?"

The older man rubbed his face. "Jocelyn let me talk to her a few weeks ago. She knows I'm coming home."

"How old is the lass now? Fifteen?"

"She'll turn seventeen in the fall."

Scotty winced. "Och, that's a hard time tae go through without your Da. D'ya think she'll be okay with ya stepping intae and out of her life like this? Ah mean," The red head eyed the doctor. "Ya are coming back up with us, aren't ya?"

Len sighed. "I don't know Scotty. I love working with all of you and goodness knows I'll miss it, but when I signed up- it wasn't for this. If Jim hadn't talked me into the officer track I'd probably be a colony physician on some remote planet somewhere. I hate flying, Scotty, I hate it. Sometimes when I'm busy with work I can forget about the atmosphere outside and all the crazy things you do down in engineering and all the risks we run, but the fear is always there, lurking in the back of my mind. And then there's Joanna, I don't know if I can leave her again."

"Have ya spoken tae the captain about this?"

"No." The doctor smiled, "He knows though, lord knows he's heard me bitch about it often enough. I think he's still clinging to the hope that he can talk me into coming back." The smile faded. "Depending on how Jocelyn behaves he may not have to."

Scotty laid a comforting hand on the doctor's shoulder and the two men waited out the remaining time in silence.

They didn't have long to wait before the comm. chirped and the captain's voice came through announcing the away-team's return. Scotty clapped his hands together gleefully and began the sequence that would bring his crew members back aboard. Seconds later the group began to materialize.

"Woohoo!" Jim yelled as he threw himself off the receiving pad at his best friend.

An 'oof' escaped Len's mouth as the lithe blonde's body made impact with his slightly huskier one. He stumbled backwards slightly, trying to keep his footing with an armful of James T. Kirk. "I take it everything went well?"

Jim laughed and untangled himself from the doctor only to launch himself at Scotty a moment later. "Who cares how it went Bones, we're going home!"

The CMO rolled his eyes as Scotty laughed and returned the blonde's hug. "Five years as captain of his own ship and he still acts like an eight-year-old on the last day of school."

Spock cleared his throat. "In answer to your question Dr. McCoy; yes, everything went 'well.'"

Len smiled at the Vulcan. He hadn't seen much of Spock lately; the first officer had been more withdrawn than usual. Although they didn't always get along well on the surface, the doctor had missed his friend. The brunette jerked his head in Jim's direction. "He hasn't been giving you any trouble as he? Kid doesn't seem to remember he ain't too big to be taken out behind the barn."

The blonde in question scowled. "Hey!"

Spock quirked an eyebrow, the closest thing he ever gave to a smile, although Bones thought it seemed rather halfhearted. "I assure you Dr. McCoy, I am more than capable of 'handling' the captain."

Jim rolled his eyes and bounced over to poke the Vulcan in the arm. "Hey Spock, are you going to New Vulcan during leave?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Or were you gonna spend the whole three months with Uhura?"

The blonde craned his neck in order to address his next comment at Yeoman Rand so he missed the odd expression that came into Spock's eyes when the communications officer's name was spoken. "Hey, doesn't she go back to Africa or something when she's on long leave?"

Len noticed the Vulcan's reaction and frowned. "Hey, Spock, is everything okay with you and Nyota?"

Spock nodded stiffly. "Of course. If you will excuse me, I have experiments to attend to in the lab."

"What was that about?" Jim wondered aloud after the Vulcan left.

The doctor shook his head. "No idea. Look, I'd better get back to sickbay; Chapel was pestering me about some paperwork that has to be filed in preparation for whoever has my job next. I'll see you later, okay?"

The blonde waved absently, already deep in conversation with Rand and Scotty.

..

Spock stood in the middle of Lt. Nyota Uhura's quarters. The exact middle: ten steps in from the door and ten steps from each of the four walls. Uhura shared her bathroom with her beta shift counterpart so Spock did not consider it to be a valid part of the communications officer's quarters and therefore it was not included in his calculations. He had been standing there for twelve minutes and thirty-seven seconds. He felt almost…uncomfortable, but knew better than to seat himself in one of the chairs or on the bed. Nyota had explained about the human need for privacy and how invaded she felt if he touched her things without permission.

Nyota was late. She had asked him to come to her quarters after shift, but she herself had not yet arrived. She was often late and rarely provided any explanation. Spock inhaled deeply and fought the urge to fidget. He shouldn't be thinking so negatively about the woman. He knew he owed her a lot. If it were not for Nyota he would be alone. For as she had pointed out to him upon several occasions: who would want him? His father's people had certainly never sought out his company. He was socially backward and carried with him the stigma of being a half-breed. Not exactly a combination many humans would find attractive.

"Spock?"

He blinked. Nyota had finally arrived. "Good evening."

The dark skinned woman scowled at him. "What are you doing here Spock? I told you I was going to be busy tonight. I have to start packing and there are papers I have to go through." Her eyes narrowed. "How long have you been here? Did you touch anything? You did, didn't you? Why don't you ever listen to me, Spock? I told you how annoying it is when you pry into other people's business. God, it's no wonder no one wants to spend time with you."

Spock's mind swirled with images of the captain and other crew member's faces, Jim's laughter, Scotty's rants, Dr. McCoy smiling at him earlier that evening: all now tainted with suspicion. Were they just pretending to include him? He struggled to answer the original question. "I-"

Nyota's face cleared suddenly and she gave him a pitying smile. "Oh, Spock. I'm sorry. I know it's hard on you, especially after your mother died." She laid a hand on his sleeve, "It's been a long day, and you should have known I'd be tired. Just go back to your room and get some sleep, everything will be better tomorrow."

He nodded numbly and let her push him from the room. Spock stood in the hallway suddenly feeling more alone than he had since meeting Nyota. Was she right about the crew? Logically, it did not seem right. What purpose could it possibly serve to pretend to like him? They did not get anything out of it, unless it was some kind of joke.

He blanched. He had never understood human motivators, but it seemed excessively cruel to put on such an act for such a long period of time. His mother would never have been capable of such cruelty, and Nyota certainly was not, so how likely was it for the others to be? He had seen humans at their worst, he had read their history books, and they had run across several corrupt individuals during the course of their mission, but they had always been a minority.

The Captain's guileless blue eyes flashed in his mind.

Spock unconsciously straightened his uniform. You could like someone, but not like to spend time with them. It seemed an unsound argument to his mind, but it was something his observation of the relationship between the Captain and Nyota had taught him. Jim liked her, and they were friendly, but they never spent time outside of work together. They never 'hung-out' like the Captain and Dr. McCoy did.

Dr. McCoy. The CMO had always been an enigma to him. Spock found the brunette's behavior to be very confusing and yet very admirable. Despite being loyal almost to a fault when it came to the captain, Leonard rarely lied for him. If questioned by the enemy or in a life or death situation the doctor would not hesitate, but if Spock questioned him about something minor, such as Jim's location, Leonard always told him the truth (even if it meant Jim was in trouble for skipping out on paperwork). The doctor was a very honest man. If he did not like you or something you did, you found out very quickly.

The Vulcan felt himself sag in relief and quickly straightened. Five years of observation told him that if Dr. McCoy did not like him or did not wish to spend time with him, the man would have informed him thus a long time ago. Leonard was very free with his opinion; it was not in his nature to be fake or pretend with the intent to maliciously deceive. The doctor had also saved his life upon several occasions and Spock thought that the man had probably saved the entire ship at least as often as .the Captain did. Leonard was someone he could trust, someone he did trust.

This reasoning comforted him and he moved toward the lift. It did disturb him slightly that Nyota could say such things that were apparently untrue about her friends and fellow crew members, but she was very tired and Spock had witnessed firsthand upon several occasions how erratic human behavior became when they were fatigued.

Spock waited for the lift to arrive, arms folded behind his back, his mind now turned toward meditation. It had been several days since he had slept and his body had begun to slow down. After a few hours meditation he would rest.

The lift doors slid open silently to reveal an occupant who did not disembark. The Vulcan stepped inside and nodded hesitantly. "Dr. McCoy."

The human smiled and Spock felt some of the residual tension in his chest loosen. "Hey, Spock. You headed back to your quarters?"

"Yes." The lift began to move again and he lifted an eyebrow. "Would it be safe to assume we are both headed in the same general direction?"

Leonard nodded and waved the PADD he held in his hands. "I've got some stuff Jim needs to sign and if I don't do it now he'll find some way to weasel out of it."

"The captain does display a spectacular aversion to paperwork."

The doctor laughed. "Yes he does. According to him he didn't join Starfleet to become a desk jockey."

A subtle crease formed between Spock's eyebrows. "Surely he realized that an officer's duties are not limited to field work."

"Oh I'm sure he knows, he just chooses to ignore it." Leonard cleared his throat and gave the Vulcan a sideways look. "Spock, can I ask you something?"

Spock opened his mouth and the doctor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know- I just did. That gets funnier every time you do it."

"That is not what I was going to say, although I must confess it crossed my mind. Your human colloquialisms are…amusing."

Leonard chuckled. "I'm glad you think it's funny Spock," The man's face became solemn. "But seriously, I know it's probably none of my business, but is everything okay between you and Uhura?"

He raised a hand to stop the Vulcan from speaking. "I know you said everything was fine earlier, but you've been acting differently Spock. It's been gradual over the last couple years, but something is definitely bothering you. You've been quiet- quieter than usual- and don't think we haven't noticed how withdrawn you've become. Jim says he can't get you play chess with him more than once a week, you two used to play almost every night. What's going on?"

Spock stood silently and once again found himself resisting the urge to fidget. He must be more tired than he thought, the Vulcan rarely had trouble with his emotions like this and now twice in one day….He glanced at the doctor and found him waiting expectantly, hazel eyes filled with concern.

The Vulcan sighed silently and tried to think of a way to answer that would satisfy the doctor's curiosity and avoid burdening his friend with his problems. Most human relationships seemed tenuous at best and he did not want to risk the ones he had formed. Telling Leonard about his difficulties assimilating human culture would probably upset the brunette. He had spent more than enough time among the peoples of Earth for a normal Vulcan to grasp understanding; it had to be his own inadequacies that made it hard for him.

Nyota's voice rang in his head. 'If you burden your friends, you'll no longer have any. People have their own troubles Spock; they don't want to hear about yours.'

Spock swallowed. He liked having Leonard as a friend. "There is nothing wrong Dr. McCoy. I have merely been preoccupied with the progress on New Vulcan."

Leonard frowned softly. "I'm sorry to hear that. Jim gets updates from Ambassador Selek, so I thought everything was doing okay on that front."

The lift chimed, signaling their arrival at their destination, and the doors opened. Spock hastily stepped forward and headed toward his quarters, the human trailing behind him. "Things are always more complicated than they appear on the surface. Good night, Dr. McCoy."

The doctor stood in the hallway gaping at the empty space his friend had a moment ago occupied. "What just happened?"

….

A new multi-chapter, yay! Ya'll can thank BlackMetalHeart, it was her request/prompt.

Um, I hope no one was confused by Scotty's accent. It's kinda hard to write phonetic sounds and have them legible, so I went real easy on it. I'm not Scottish or an expert on accent writing so if there are any errors, please forgive.

I also beg your indulgence with the POV, if it gets difficult to understand anywhere, please let me know and I'll try to fix it.