Scream 4: Someone's Taken Their Love of Lame Attempts to Resurrect Horror Movie Villains Too Far!

Disclaimer: Creepy voice: Hello, Sidney. What's your favorite scary movie?

Me: I'm not Sidney, I'm LMR.

Creepy voice: Um, okay. . . What's your favorite disclaimer?

Me: (Impatiently) One that doesn't involve a psycho killer threatening to kill me if I don't let everyone know that I don't own Scream, which I will do as soon as I get off the phone with The Killer.

Creepy voice: Um, right, okay.

Me: I don't own Scream.

xXx

Chapter 1: Stepping Up The Intro

"I think it's a bad idea, hon, really," Wes pleaded. "Look what happened to Nightmare. I don't want Ghostface to go the same way as Freddy."

"Wes, Freddy's your most popular creation," the other director said, incredulously. "They'd been dating for less than one year, and she couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner. Scream 4.

"Yes, but he's not a serious villain. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed Freddy, but let's face it; he's hokey. He's a joke. He has fun killing, and you like him better than the idiots he kills most of the time. Ghostface isn't like that. He's a serious shadow villain, and he's gone."

"At least let me lay out the first scene for you?" Wes shrugged. "The way I figure it, our first scene's gotta be a shocker. The first kill keeps getting bigger. A pair, boyfriend and girlfriend get killed. First, watching a scary movie on TV."

"I've scene the movies, dear," Wes reminded her.

"Just stay with me here. Then a couple at the theater watching that specific movie. Next, somebody in the movie. It just keeps stepping up. So what's up from an actor in the movie?" The phone rang, and Wes was glad for the distraction.

"Hold on. Hello?"

The answering voice, distorted, didn't come from the phone, but the door behind them. "The director."

Wes opened his mouth, but only blood came out. He gurgled. "Now look what you did!" he yelled at his girlfriend. Ghostface rose up behind him in all his ooky splendor. He cleaned the blood off his knife with a swish. Wes's girlfriend screamed. The knife rose again. It came down on the girlfriend and corn syrup flew everywhere. A gravely voice came through Wes's cell phone. "I think it's a great idea. I'm back."

Scream 4

xXx

Note: No gods of horror and the macabre were harmed during the making of this fic. Want more, guys? Or should I stick to hooking up cop partners in romantic drivel?