Not Only You and Me
Brittany's time machine backfires and she ends up cloning herself. Chaos ensues! And also, the clones are strangely helpful at getting Santana and Brittany together. Brittany/Santana, but also Brittany/Brittany and clone!Brittany/other people, eventually. And crack. Title is from 3 by Britney Spears.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, don't sue me!
CHAPTER ONE
Santana first notices something weird is going on when she see Brittany in the mall. It's not that Brittany being in the mall is weird – she has to buy her extensive hat collection somewhere, after all – but when Santana had called her that afternoon to make plans, Britt had blown her off, saying she was super busy. And now here she was at the mall, not looking busy at all.
Santana glares at her across the food court, and when Brittany finally notices her, she smiles and saves, instead of looking guilty like Santana had expected. Well, bullshit. Nobody blows off Santana Lopez – with or with out good reason, especially her best friend. Disregarding all the shopping (or maybe shoplifting, depending on how bitchy the salesclerks were) she had planned on doing, Santana storms out of the mall.
She sulks at home for the rest of the afternoon, before realizing that ignoring Brittany is stupid because Brittany probably doesn't even know she's getting the silent treatment right now. She decides she needs to go tell Brittany she's super mad, and plus that way she can slam the door when she leaves, and that'll be satisfying. So she goes over to Brittany's house, and puts on her best bitchy face. Those don't usually work on Britts, like she's immune or something, but it's worth a try.
Santana rings the doorbell three times before Brittany arrives at the door, looking flustered. Santana knows that look, for sure. Her messy blond hair and pink flushed cheeks can only mean one thing: Brittany was getting some. Santana can't believe she has the nerve to be hooking up right now when Santana was sitting at home alone being mad at her. What is going on today, first Britt doesn't want to hang out, then she shows up at the mall anyway, and now she's hooking up with...who?
Not even saying hello, Santana storms past Brittany into the Pierce's living room. "Who's here, Britt?" she snarls, growing angrier by the second. "And why did you ignore me at the mall today?"
Britt's blue eyes widen, probably more at Santana's harsh tone than her questions. "I wasn't at the mall, San, I don't know what you're talking about! I told you, I had super important things to do."
"Oh sure. Super important, like hooking up?"
"There's nobody here but me. And you." Brittany says, but she flushes even more pink so Santana knows she's on the right track.
"Okay, fine," Santana says. "Then it's cool if I head up to your room, right?" She heads up the stairs without waiting for an answer. Bursting through Brittany's bedroom door, Santana is expecting to find Artie in her bed. Or maybe Puck; it would be like Brittany to throw him a sympathy-bang for breaking up with Lauren. Instead, impossibly, in Brittany's bed...there's another Brittany. She has the same flushed, messy look that Britt had had when she answered the door. And she appears to be topless.
"What. The. Fuck." Santana exclaims, and then Brittany appears in the doorway behind her, wrapping an arm around Santana's waist.
"Cool, right?" Brittany asks.
"It's totally cool," the Brittany in bed adds. She sits up, not bothering to pull the sheet around her and hey, she most definitely is topless.
"No, Brittany, what the fuck?" Santana repeats, because seriously, what.
Brittany shrugs. "You remember how I was building a time machine?"
Santana nods; Brittany had mentioned that. Santana hadn't thought she was serious, but sometimes it was hard to tell with Britt.
"Well," Britt says, "I thought it was done. And I have that history report due, so I was going to try to go back to the olden times. For like, extra credit. But it didn't really work. Well, it did, but not the way it was supposed to." She gestures to her double, like that explained everything.
Santana needs to sit down. She tugs Brittany into the room and flops down at the end of her bed, out of reach of the other Brittany, who smiles at her suggestively.
Brittany reaches out and tugs the sheet up a bit. "Cover yourself, honey," she says to her double. "I think your boobs are distracting Santana."
It's not really the boobs that are the problem, Santana thinks, but pretty much everything else, ever. She's having a hard time wrapping her brain around this. "So you built a machine," she recaps.
"Yup," Brittany confirms, pointing to the corner of her room. Next to her closet, Santana notices, is a strange pile of computer parts and bedsheets and wires.
"Okay." Santana wonders if maybe she got drunk and can't remember and is now having some weird hallucination. That almost seems more likely. "You built...that. And then you cloned yourself?"
"It was really tingly! But in a fun way," the Brittany in bed answers. She's pulled the sheet up around her like a cape now, but Santana can still see the swell of her breasts through it and Brittany was right, it's a little distracting.
"So at the mall today, that wasn't me. It was her," Brittany continues, "and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lie or whatever, but she got away from me. She's super sneaky!"
"I wanted tacos from the food court," the other Brittany adds.
"Okay, I guess that makes sense." Sort of. But there are more pressing issues.
"I was worried, but she came back, so that's good. I mean, she could've gotten lost, and she doesn't even have a cell phone, or a collar or anything!"
Santana decides to ignore that, choosing to focus on what apparently happened next. "So...," Santana waves a hand over the other Brittany and her sheet, "then you came back here and got naked?"
Brittany blushes. "It's not weird, I swear! I wanted to know what it was like to kiss myself, and it turns out I'm a really good kisser." The clone-Brittany beams.
Santana nods. That much is true, Brittany really is a good kisser. And thinking about two Brittanies together, naked...well, it's not exactly the worst thing Santana's ever imagined. "Okay," she says, "walk me through it?" How do you say hey, tell me more about that naked kissing in like, a subtle way?
Brittany grins though, slow and sexy, and Santana knows she got it. Brittany's kind of a mind reader sometimes, and it's super useful when Santana can convey 'hey, let's go fool around in secret' with just a look. "Come here," Brittany says, "and we'll show you." She pulls Santana up to the head of the bed, cuddling closer to the other Britt. This isn't why Santana came over at all, but she's not one to look a gift threesome in the mouth. Or something. What? The point is, Santana's not really mad at all any more, but instead strangely turned on, and it's not like she would ever say no to Brittany.
The blond clone leans in and Brittany tilts her head and opens her mouth slightly and wow. It's like watching Brittany make out with a mirror, only way, way sexier than anything with mirrors could ever be. The clone breaks away from Brittany and leans toward Santana, nipping at her bottom lip. Brittany maneuvers some pillows around and then they're all lying down, with Brittany straddling Santana's hips, pressing soft kisses down the side of her neck. Brittany's double is licking the inside of her mouth in a way that's almost exactly like how Brittany kisses except not quite, somehow. There are hands all over her, cupping her breast, tangled in her hair, stroking their way down her hips, and Santana moans. She's never been this turned on before, and she still has all her clothes on, stupid layers of fabric between her skin and Brittany's skin. Brittany looks up from licking Santana's collarbone and their eyes meet. Once again the mind reader, Brittany says, "You should be more naked, that would be great," and instantly the other Brittany is sliding her hands up Santana's sides, pulling her t-shirt up and over her head.
Brittany wiggles down the bed, unbuttoning Santana's jeans and pulling them down her thighs. Santana kicks them off, and then Brittany's crawling back up the bed, fingers running along the top of Santana's panties. "This," she says, pressing a teasing kiss to Santana's hipbone, "is about where we were when you rang the doorbell," she shifts slightly, kisses a little lower, and Santana squirms.
"Interrupting is so rude," the clone murmurs, moving off of Santana to undo her bra and throw it in the direction of her jeans on the floor.
Brittany nods, her blond hair brushing over Santana's stomach. "Like if we had to stop right now," she continues, hooking one finger in Santana's panties and pulling them down way, way too slowly.
"Do. Not. Stop," Santana pants out, and that must be the right response, because Brittany doesn't, finally getting Santana naked and positioning herself between Santana's thighs.
Brittany's clone continues to kiss her way down Santana's neck, running her hands through Santana's hair as Brittany goes down on her, and Santana comes quicker than she ever has before, shuddering against both blonds. She barely has a second to recover when the clone Brittany is slithering down her body, pushing Brittany out of the way and saying "My turn!" brightly. She leans down between Santana's legs, licking at that already sensitive spot, and Santana's eyes roll back in her head. Brittany, curled up against Santana's side, remarks to nobody in particular, "I knew this was going to be awesome."
Afterwards, they're cuddled together with Santana in the middle, Brittany petting her hair. As a rule, Santana doesn't cuddle after sex, not even with Brittany really, but she's too satisfied to protest right now.
"That was fun," Brittany's clone says, rubbing Santana's shoulder. "We should totally do that again."
Brittany leans over to kiss her clone on the cheek. "We are going to have so much fun with you around." Then an excited look crosses her face. "I can't wait for you to meet everybody in glee! And Sue and the cheerios, oh, and Mr. Kidney the janitor!"
Whoa, wait, hold up. Santana sits up so fast her head nearly collides with Brittany. She raises a hand. "Okay, look," she says, "we can'ttell anybody about this."
Brittany looks confused. "About the sex? Or my clone?"
"Oh my god, neither! We can't talk about us, or about your clone, or about the weird but awesome clone sex. It has to be a secret." Santana doesn't mean to snap, but her social standing is important and Brittany has to get that.
Brittany and the other Brittany share a look, and then Santana finds herself confronted by two sets of sad blue eyes. "We were talking earlier," Brittany says, "about you."
"Yeah," says the clone. "About why you want to keep everything a secret, even when those things are awesome and you shouldn't be embarrassed."
"I'm not, that's not it!" Santana protests. She's not embarrassed, it's totally true, she just isn't ready to have to deal with homophobic comments and slushies in the face every day at school. Brittany should be worth facing those things, she knows that,but every time she thinks about holding her hand in the hallway, she flashes back to what those dicks did to Kurt at prom, how everybody was standing there silently staring at him when his name was called. There's only a year left of highschool, and then her and Brittany could leave Lima behind and go somewhere where they'd be accepted. That's the plan Santana has, anyway, she just hasn't been able to find the words to discuss it with Brittany yet.
"You say you're not embarrassed, and you're not ashamed, but then what is it?" Brittany asks mournfully. "I want to be your girlfriend, what's so hard about that?"
This is it, this is the talk that Santana has been avoiding all summer, and she's certainly not going to do it now, not with two Brittanies making sad puppy eyes at her, it's too much to handle.
She grabs her shirt from the floor and tugs it back on, not meeting Brittany's eyes. "I'm sorry," she says, "but I just can't. Not yet. I need more time, Britt."
"You know we could be so awesome together," Brittany says matter-of-factly. "Like, so awesome that it wouldn't even matter what people said."
Santana swallows hard, suddenly feeling close to tears. She's been rehearsing this conversation all summer, but she never thought it would go down like this, with Brittany all sad and stuff. And also cloning, she didn't plan on that either. "I'm going to go," she says, grabbing her jeans and backing towards the door. "It's not you, I promise, I just don't think I'm ready."
The clone Brittany puts her arm around Brittany's shoulder. "Don't worry," she says quietly, shooting a sharp glance towards Santana. "We can convince her."
Brittany bites her lip for a moment and then nods. The two blonds smile up her and Santana is suddenly very, very sure that she is up against more than she can handle.
NEXT CHAPTER: Even more clones! Should be up in the next couple of days. Reviews or constructive criticism is always appreciated.