Hahaha, finally! Here's my little take on the episode Endgame, cause obviously there were some missing scenes... The song I chose for this story is Clay Walker's new hit, Fall, which I think describes Bobby perfectly. So enjoy, and please review!
Disclaimer: They're not mine. Maybe for a graduation present?...
This songfic is dedicated to Paige, RoadRunner, and all the people who now hate Wolf cause he didn't let Alex be with Bobby when he needed her! (hisses at Wolf)
She could see the outline of his bulky frame in the dark room from her position at the door, and she contemplated whether or not she should, or had a right to, intrude. Every few seconds his shoulders shook, and every time they did, another little piece of her heart crumbled. Finally she took a deep, calming breath and gently tapped on the door to alert him to her presence.
"Go away," she heard him growl, but she ignored him and stepped into the dark room, walking until she was standing behind his chair. His whole body tensed when she hesitantly placed her small hands on his shoulders.
"It's okay, Bobby," she murmured, keeping her voice soft for fear of breaking the fragile silence of the dark and empty room. He turned his head and looked up at her, and she nearly choked at the tears that had dried on his cheeks, and the new ones that were forming in his swollen, tired eyes. Their eyes met, and he turned away again, but she didn't miss the shudder that passed through his body.
"Why are you here, Eames?" he asked miserably, and she began to unconsciously rub his shoulders.
"You know exactly why I'm here, Bobby," she stated in a low voice. He shook his head, and she sighed and gently squeezed his shoulders. "I'm here because I care about you, and whether or not you'll admit it, you need someone to talk to right now."
Suddenly he leapt to his feet with surprising speed and agility for someone of his size and stature, and he immediately began pacing the room. "How do you know what I need?" he demanded, waving his hands in the air. "How could you possibly know?" She crossed her arms over her chest, and he took a step in her direction. "Your family is perfect. The perfect dad, the perfect mom. You have no idea whatsoever of what I'm feeling right now."
"You're right," she agreed with him softly. "I don't."
He continued with his tangent, his voice rising and his actions becoming more unpredictable. She just watched him. "You have the perfect life. Your mother wasn't schizophrenic, your father didn't hit you, and you never had to worry about whether or not you were teetering on the edge of sanity." His fists clenched at his sides. "And you didn't just find out that everything that you once believed was a lie, that your father is really a murdering rapist," he said with a bitter laugh, and Alex breathed deeply as she sorted and processed all of the information.
She took a step forward, but he took two backwards, his large eyes hollow and almost fearful. "Bobby…"
He raised a hand to silence her. "Just go, Alex," he whispered, and her heart skipped a beat. "Just leave me alone."
"I can't do that, Bobby," she said softly. "You know I can't do that. I love you too much."
"Of course not," he muttered in a bitter tone. "You have to fix everyone's problems. It's always about you."
His words pierced her heart, and a single tear rolled down her cheek before she could stop it. She quickly brushed it away, but not so fast that he didn't notice it. "Bobby, I know you're in a lot of pain-"
"You don't know what pain is!" he snapped, and she took a deep breath and prayed for strength. "You don't have a damn clue, Eames!"
That was it. With a small growl, she stormed across the room until they were toe to toe, and she glared up at him, arms crossed defiantly over her chest. With one hand, she shoved her finger into his chest and snarled, "Don't you dare talk to me about pain, Robert Goren! I know a hell of a lot more about pain and loss than you will ever know!"
"Oh yes, poor little Eames," he sneered, welcoming his anger as a reprieve from the emotional agony he was feeling. "You got kidnapped by my mentor's insane daughter. That's so much worse."
She sucked in a breath and finally told him her most gut wrenching secret that she had carried for years. "You want to talk loss, you selfish bastard? I lost a child!"
"You were a surrogate! You agreed to go through that pain willingly"
She shook her head furiously and blinked rapidly in an effort to dispel any more tears. "Not Christopher." His eyes widened slightly in surprise. She reached into her back pocket and retrieved a picture from her wallet, staring at it wistfully before reluctantly placing it in her partner's hands.
"He was my angel," she whispered hoarsely, and Bobby found himself looking down at a picture of a beautiful infant boy with hauntingly familiar hazel eyes.
"What happened?" he managed to ask.
"Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Cradle death," she laughed bitterly. "I just went in there one morning, and he was gone. Just like that."
He stared at the picture clutched in his big hands, and he was speechless.
Her fury returned again. "So don't you dare tell me that I don't know some of what you're feeling! I lost my son, my husband, and my heart, all within a year." Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she ignored them as her voice slowly lowered. "I didn't have an abusive dad, and no, I didn't have a mentally unstable mother. But I do know how it feels to lose someone you love more than your next breath. I know how it feels to feel like you have nothing to lose, or to be so angry and miserable that you can't even crawl out of bed in the morning," she whispered, and he looked at her in pure amazement. "I also know what it's like to have no one there when you come home, or no one to talk to but the walls in your apartment. I know. And I know you, Bobby. Please, let me help you." She paused before reaching over and taking one of his large hands into hers, squeezing it uncertainly.
He took a step backwards and fell onto the bed, but he didn't release her hand. She saw a tear roll down his cheek, and she brushed it away with her thumb, then stepped in between his knees and stood there for a moment. Her hands found their way onto his shoulders, and she felt him shake and begin to shatter under her gentle touch. Another tear fell, and she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him tightly against her small frame.
"It's okay to break," she whispered, burying her face in his hair. "You're not invincible." As she spoke those words, he shattered completely, grabbing the front of her shirt in his fist in a desperate attempt to pull her closer to him.
She pulled his head down against her breast and held him tenderly as he finally let go and cried all of his fears, worries and pains into her chest. "It's okay, Bobby," she murmured over and over again as she held him. "It's okay."
BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA
She watched as he slept restlessly in her bed, her heart breaking all over again as she kept thinking about those moments stolen in the hospital. With an almost silent sigh, she edged back out of the room and into the living room, where she absently turned her radio on. As the song that had been playing faded, a smooth voice came over the air waves.
"You're listening to Dan Reed on the late show, and right now I've got a brand new song here from Clay Walker, called Fall. So sit back and enjoy."
As soon as she heard the title of the song, she immediately assumed it would be some happy, upbeat tune about falling in love, and she reached over to shut the radio off. But something made her stop as the song began, and she stood, mesmerized by the lyrics.
Hold up, there you go again
Putting on that smile again
Even though I know you've had a bad day
Doing this and doing that
Always putting yourself last
A whole lot of give and not enough take
But you can only be strong so long
Before you break
So fall, go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you every time
Fall, go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear
Every worry, every tear
I'm right here
Baby, fall
By the chorus, tears were pouring down Alex's cheeks, and she suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to hold her partner in her arms again. As silently as she could, she slipped back into the bedroom and shed her shoes. Then she carefully climbed into the bed with Bobby, pressing her front to his back.
She hooked her chin over his shoulder and inhaled softly, wanting to live in that moment forever. She loved him so much, and it scared the hell out of her. She never thought that she was worthy of being loved, or loving, after her husband and son died. For years, she had been too afraid to become close to anyone for fear that they would hurt her, too.
But that had changed the moment she laid eyes on Bobby Goren, and it changed even more so when she carried her nephew, then handed him to her sister and brother in law. Because of them, she had realized that she couldn't keep living in the past. She still had so much love to give.
Bobby stirred and inched away from her, but she wrapped her arms around his large frame and pulled him back against her. "No, Bobby," she whispered, stroking his arm. "I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever." He tensed in her arms, and she felt him eventually relax and turn over so that they were nose to nose. He opened his eyes, and she raised one hand to smooth back his unruly curls.
Suddenly the phone rang, and Alex growled and pulled away from Bobby, snatching the shrieking piece of plastic and answering it with a huff. "Eames."
Eames? It's Captain Ross.
She sighed and ran one hand through her messy hair. "Do you need us to come in?"
No, actually. I was just calling because Goren wasn't answering his phone. Do you know where he is?
She could hear the suspicion in his voice, and she rolled her eyes. "He's a little preoccupied right now, sir. His mother… she passed away tonight, so he won't be coming in for a while."
Oh.
She looked over at her partner who had fallen asleep again, and she ran her thumb over his stubbled cheek. "In fact, neither of us are going to be coming in for a while." Her statement was greeted with silence. "He needs someone to help him through this, and I'm the best person to do that right now."
Hmm, that's true. Two weeks, both of you.
After he made that statement, she muttered a goodbye, closed the phone, and curled up against Bobby again. She draped her right arm protectively over his waist, returning to her former position. He whimpered in his sleep, and she tightened her hold on her partner, wanting to shield him from everything that could possibly hurt him.
He unconsciously curled around her, and his head found her shoulder, making her smile.
Forget about the world tonight
All that's wrong, and all that's right
Lay your head on my shoulder
And let it fade away
And if you wanna let go
Baby, it's okay
Fall, go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you every time
Fall, go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear
Every worry, every tear
I'm right here
Baby, fall
The sky was stormy as the casket disappeared into the dark hole, and Alex felt Bobby's hand tighten around hers. She squeezed his hand to reassure him that she was still there. He dropped the single red rose onto the casket and stepped back again, and she said a quiet prayer of thanks to whoever was listening that this amazing, kind and generous man was in her life.
They stayed after everyone had left, and she only moved when the rain began to fall softly against the newly stirred dirt. "Come on, Bobby," she murmured, grasping his hand and pulling him back to their SUV. He followed her reluctantly, almost robotically, and she made sure he was safely in the car before she pulled out of the graveyard.
CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI
His soft whimpers pulled her back into awareness, and she yawned and reached out for him, drawing him back into the safe haven of her arms. "S'kay, Bobby," she mumbled sleepily, and he turned and buried his face in her chest, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
Her hands absently ran up and down his back, tracing invisible patterns over his skin as he eventually calmed down again, his breathing becoming deep and even once more. "That's it," she tenderly whispered, kissing the top of his head, then burying her face in his curly hair.
She knew that it would be a trying ordeal to help him through this, but she was up for the challenge. And she had no doubt in her mind that, together, they could make it through this and anything that came their way. They just had to take one step at a time, one day at a time. And somehow, they would be okay.
Hold on, hold on
Hold on to me
So fall, go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you every time
Fall, go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear
Every worry, every tear
I'm right here
Baby, fall
The End
A/N: Okay, so it was a little cheesy, but I like to think that Alex was there for Bobby once the credits rolled. Right, my fellow BA freaks? Right. Now, review please!