My name is James Potter, and I'm in love with Lily Evans. I've tried many things in an effort to get her to fall for me, most backfiring to make her hate me.

These are some of the more unsuccessful ones, in a list to help you navigate the dangerous waters of Evans.

Don't try these. I have. They didn't work.

20 Ways to Annoy Lily Evans

Ask her if she farted, because she "BLEW YOU AWAY!"

Tell her you had a vision from God telling you that you two will end up together one day.

Tell her that she got drunk last night, and that in her drunken state, she declared the love for you she'd been withholding, and ended up married to you in a ceremony preformed by Dumbledore.

Convince her that her best friend was impregnated by Sirius Black.

Stick a sign on her back with a permanent sticking charm, declaring her "Property of James Potter."

Steal her underwear, and wear them as a hat for a day.

Charm Severus Snape to declare his love for Professor Sprout and attempt to kiss her at dinner, after telling Lily that she and you are meant to be together.

Draw a nude mural of her in the Great Hall in a show of your love. (A/N: Got that one from 'When in Rome' if anybody noticed that.)

Charm yourself to look like her best friend, than strategically turn back into yourself as she's changing.

Send her a fake letter from McGonagall telling her she failed all her OWLs and is going to be expelled in an attempt to get her to cry on your shoulder.

Put love potion in her secret chocolate stash.

Because you are too busy admiring her to pay attention, let your Swelling Solution explode all over her in Potions.

Attempt to serenade her with Taylor Swift, having Remus Lupin as a back-up singer, in front of her potential bosses at a Slug Club party.

Pay Peter to follow her around, dressed as Cupid, trying to convince her to go out with you on Valentine's Day.

In an attempt to get her to kiss you, accidently push her into the lake, right into the Giant Squid's tentacles.

Ask her if she's PMSing, in front of the hot, young, and new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Steal her diary to see if you're featured in it, leave it lying around, then find out Sirius has posted pages of it all over the Slytherin Common Room.

Lock her boyfriend in a broom cupboard with Mrs. Norris for 3 days.

Tell her that her head looks like it's on its period.

Not kiss her on the first date.

SO! Whatcha guys think? Should I continue with this, elaborating on the back story behind each way to annoy her? Let me know please! Review! Please?

If you're reading this, I love you(:

~Blue Raspberry