Time to say goodbye
"I'm thinking of you, I can't get over you, every time I close my eyes I see our last goodbye. I don't want to see it, it hurts to remember, and I want to forget, to just remember all the good times. I can't forget though, because I love you Derek, I loved you since the start. Ever since I was just the girl in the bar and you were just the guy in the bar. I love you." Everyone's staring at me, but I won't break, I've said my piece. I keep my eye line on the gravestone. I'm surrounded by so many that knew him, everyone loved him. I keep reading the gravestone over and over again. The words chosen by his mother, I Meredith had been too weak, too deep in sorrow to chose any, but I am satisfied with what was put, it summed him up without needing to say anymore.
Derek Shepherd
1974 – 2009
He died in the arms of the one he loved, Meredith Grey Shepherd, his wife.
His picture in my hand, I was trying so hard to keep my eyes from erupting but a tear escaped down my cheek, and I know I will never get over him. I curl up on the bed in his shirt, the one he wore when I first met him at the bar, a red shirt he called it his 'pulling shirt'. I guess he was right he pulled that night, he pulled me, and I fell for him. The morning after, it was the longest morning after I'd ever known. I remember the awkwardness when I told him to leave my house, I hadn't known his name till then, those sparkling baby blues, I thought I wouldn't see them again. How wrong I was to think that.
But he's gone now, and I will never be able to feel his lips on mine again, I will never be able to stare into his sparkling baby blues, I will never be able to run my hands through his hair, his amazing fabulous hair. Yet most of all, I will never be able to have his child, he'd wanted children I knew that but I wasn't ready. 'I should have been ready', I tell myself, but there was no way I could turn back time and change what happened. I wish I could have at least slowed it down, when he was here I didn't realise how important every second with him would be. Now I did. Now I knew there had never been anything more crucial, not my career, not my dark and twisty past, but him. The one I called my future, my knight in shining whatever, he really was my other half.