Runner:
Summary: "It's the type of people that we are, Ann. That's why I can freely admit it- He would be better off with you." Two heart-broken people turn to the same girl for help. [Ann x Cliff x Claire]
A/N: I love complicated situations and dying relationships. Gah- I'm such a weirdo. Anywho, this is the second version of this story that I've written. The first version involved Carter, and Claire's character was portrayed a little differently, but I changed it after deciding I wanted to go a bit more into the meaning of the word "runner". Also, I've always wanted to write something with a convoluted friendship... Wow, I really am weird, huh?
Very few people came into the diner that early in the morning. By the time Ann got in from the spring, most of the townsfolk were either opening shop or just waking. Breakfast was not a busy time for the diner. Because so very few people came in that early, Ann knew, when the door opened during breakfast hours, that the most likely visitor was Claire. So it was without even looking that she greeted the blonde farmer that morning. "Hey, Claire- How are you?"
It wasn't as if she needed to ask. When Claire came into the diner that early, it was always for the same reason. Something or someone had hurt her somehow, and she wanted to vent to Ann about it. So too would Ann go to visit Claire when she was feeling hurt- or, at least, there was a time when she had. Not anymore. Their friendship had once been built on mutual trust and a strong wall of support, but in the past few seasons, things had changed. Still, Ann had felt it her duty to continue with the illusion of sameness and security in their friendship. She owed it to Claire.
Behind her, Ann heard a chair scraping slowly across the floor. Claire was feeling lethargic- when the blonde farmer felt more energetic, or happier, she would lift the chair off the floor to move it, avoiding such a harsh noise. Claire hadn't been in a good mood for some time, now. Ann had grown quite used to the sound of the farmer dragging the chair around. Still turned away, Ann heard the soft "thunk" of Claire plopping into the seat, and another scrape as she scooted up to the table.
"Fine." Claire answered, her voice flat and hollow. Ann's eyes used to widen in concern when she heard that tone in her friend's voice, but no longer. She had heard it too many times, and besides, she knew why that sound entered her friend's once chipper tone.
Ann turned around, leaning against the bar, and looked her friend over. The short blonde girl had her hair pulled back in a tight pony-tail, and dressed in a slightly wrinkled white shirt under old blue overalls. It always managed to depress Ann, seeing her friend like that. She used to let her pretty hair down to flow freely in the air, and she had worn all sorts of bright, warm colors- not any more. "Do you want to talk about it?" The red-head asked quietly. It was all she could do to offer her friend this shoulder to cry on, now. After all, it was half her fault that Claire was like this.
Claire lifted her head, bright blue eyes that didn't match the rest of her gazing up at Ann. "Ann, am I stupid? Is he stupid too? Why are we still doing this?"
Ann knew without asking what Claire was talking about. It had all begun two years ago- just a few short seasons after Claire's wedding. Claire had come into the diner early in the morning, and asked a question that had struck Ann cold with shock. Blue eyes wide with confusion and brimming with tears had looked to Ann for answers, and the red haired girl didn't have any.
"I don't think I can do this anymore, Ann- Why did I marry him?"
"You're not stupid Claire- he isn't either." Said Ann, shaking her head as she pulled herself up to sit on the bar. "I don't think I can answer that last question. You'll have to talk to him about it."
Claire put her elbows up on the table, cradling her head in her hands. Her muffled voice said, "You know I can't do that. You know I can't talk to him about it, Ann. You're the only person I can talk to about this." Ann narrowed her blue eyes, looking away from the seated farmer. How deeply ironic, that the only person Claire could talk to about her failing marriage was one of the reasons her marriage was failing. How ironic- and how sad. "Talking to me isn't going to help things, Claire. I've told him the same thing- you two have to face each other eventually."
Claire snorted, raising her head from its place in her hands. "Yeah, that'll happen. Ann, you know that's impossible."
Ann supposed it probably was. For two people who had built their lives by running away from every problem that arose, facing the deep chasm the two had dug between themselves would be nearly impossible. It was kind of funny, how they were two sides of the same coin and had never realized it. Both ran, but ran differently. He let the things he ran from come to the surface, disfiguring his face with despair and allowing them to affect his life even as he ran. Not Claire. She ran- or had run- like a gazelle- graceful, beautiful, and as if a lion were on her tail. Not that she let on that the lion was there.
No, Claire had never given any indication that she was anything less than what she presented herself as. She had acted the part of a vivacious and confident young woman, smiling like the sun and laughing like a child. Ann had admired Claire's confidence and passion, and looked up to her new friend, not seeing the cracks in the farmer's painted grin. Her infallible confidence was just a front, hiding the frightened little girl that cowered within.
"Try, Claire. I know you're not happy with things the way they are. He isn't happy either."
"I suppose you would know." Claire said, not bothering to hide her knowledge of the subject Ann tried to avoid like the plague. Ann winced- she knew Claire was aware of what happened when Cliff came to the diner at night- that wasn't what caused her reaction. It was the total lack of venom in the accusation. Claire honestly didn't care that her husband was sleeping with her best friend, and somehow, that made the guilt in Ann's heart heavier. She wouldn't be surprised if Claire wanted the affair to continue. If it ended her unhappy marriage without any effort from herself, Claire likely wouldn't be bothered by it. She would likely be thankful.
After all, Claire had already told Ann long ago that she no longer loved her husband.
"I'm sorry, Ann." Claire said, rubbing her temples. "I know it's not your fault. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have any reason to run to you."
Ann knew Claire didn't mean anything hurtful by that remark, but it still caused a stab of pain in her heart. Because it was true- were it not for Claire's indifference, Cliff wouldn't be spending his nights in Ann's arms. Because Cliff still loved the wife whose heart had turned away from him, and Ann's love alone couldn't overcome that.
Ann had loved Cliff too long to try to convince herself otherwise. After all, hadn't she freely given up on him when she learned of Claire's own affection for the man? She had thought Cliff would finally be happy, with that brightly shining friend Ann so admired. It hadn't occured to her that Claire was as much a runner as Cliff was, and the relationship was doomed to fail. A runner needs a steady rock to cling to- an anchor to hold them down. Claire and Cliff had sought that in each other and, discovering that was not what they had, ran away again.
"Do you really want to keep going like this, Claire?" Ann finally asked. Claire laughed humorlessly. "Of course not, Ann- Why didn't you just steal him from me in the first place?" Claire brought her head up to meet Ann's blue eyes with her own. "You two could've been so happy."
Ann stared angrilly at her friend. "How could you say that? Both of you- why do you keep saying things like that? You can't fix what happened in the past by saying things like that!" Inside her angry exterior, sadness filled Ann. Because she had thought the two would work so well together, because she thought Claire would be good for Cliff, because she loved and admired her friend, and wanted her to be happy- that was why she hadn't "stolen," Cliff.
Claire smiled without any joy. "See- Ann? Things like that. You're so much stronger than both of us. We can't say things like what you just said. It's the type of people that we are, Ann. That's why I can freely admit it- He would be better off with you."
It was when Claire said such things that Ann knew her indifference was feigned. She would say it to the ends of the earth- that she didn't love Cliff anymore- but it wasn't true. Not really. Claire had simply realized that she had made a mistake- entered into a marriage that would be filled with difficulty- and ran away from it. She knew she would have to work, and work, to make the relationship strong, and the frightened little girl inside her had begun to cry. She had cried, 'I can't do this. It's too hard. I'm not strong enough!' and Claire had taken those doubting thoughts to heart, and sent her beloved husband to the strongest person she knew. Someone she had faith in to make him happy. Claire had sent Cliff right into Ann's arms.
Ann only had Cliff because Claire willed it. If the blonde farmer changed her mind, Cliff would run straight back to her- but Ann didn't see that happening any time soon. The two would just keep running to her and leaning on her until she collapsed- and Ann would allow them to do it, too. She couldn't turn them away. She loved them both too much to do such a thing- to let them fall apart and put themselves back together.
Because if they did that- where would that leave her?
Ann wasn't as strong as they thought.
A/N: In the original version, Claire was a weak-willed, neurotic, self-doubter suspicious that her husband was cheating on her. So, she used confessional as a crutch and poured out her troubles to Carter. After a while, I decided it just wasn't working and didn't get the meaning across well enough (also, the Claire character in that story just didn't make sense as a self-made farmer). The original included Cliff's affair with Ann, but didn't address their sides of the story. I saw some potential to deepen the story by writing it this way, so I went ahead and jumped into it. I wanted to write the friendship between Claire and Ann the most. I thought it would be interesting to write about a situation like that- Claire being best friends with her husband's lover and pretty much condoning it. It ended up as Ann both holding the marriage together and helping Claire tear it apart.
Most of the Ann part is based on an old idea I had- half of it, anyway- when I wondered how the bachelorettes felt when you married their love interests. (The other half of the idea was if Claire ever regretted picking one bachelor over another. I might write something about that some day, but I don't have any ideas for it right now.)
Frick- I really love writing really depressing stories about Harvest Moon, don't I? I swear, I don't actually think about this stuff while I'm playing it (most of the time).