Sadly I don't own any of the characters (except Jenna)

Also a HUGE thank you to Emily, my beta... hopefully she'll give me her username soon so I can show off how amazing she is!

It had been months, 5 months- nearly half a year since the attack. The amount of nights when she'd woken up, screaming had been become a rarity instead of a regular occurrence. She had been told she'd made 'remarkable progress', it didn't feel like progress though. Whenever she felt like she was progressing it would happen again, she'd wake up in a cold sweat, screaming, unable to stop; and when Cooper reached out to hold her it would only make matters worse. He was so uncertain, so afraid, his touch was trembling and soft, it felt like it was still a part of the dream. His gentle crooning hadn't done any good either; she needed someone to hold her tightly and to shout over the screaming going on in her head. She'd rock back and forth, coming slowly back to reality. She could never remember the panic attacks, she only knew what Cooper had told her and disjointed fragments, like a half forgotten dream.

They were getting through it, in the best way they could. They'd even had sex again- once- the flashback following was so vivid that night that Cooper hadn't brought it up again and Charlotte knew what the answer would be if she ever asked. Their coping strategy was avoidance, only occasionally they sat down and talked about it- but it was all so painful she couldn't bear it. She longed to go back to the days when talking used to be as simple as sharing a favourite book or colour. Now he'd try to make her relive the memories she was desperate to push away and forget. She refused to see Violet or Sheldon for counselling, it was only when Cooper had physically taken her there and shut her in a room with them she'd talked to them. But, in her opinion, their advice was so full of crap she hadn't taken any of it on board- she'd also been so angry with Cooper he promised never to do it again.

Work was getting better though, she spent less time in the hospital, only going when she was really needed. She'd also had a new office assembled on the other side of the hospital; she still went cold when she walked past the door though. She left early and insisted on having an assistant; she never admitted that it was because she never wanted to be alone in the hospital. She spent more time at the practice, near Cooper, she would never admit she needed him that much; but on the days when she wanted to curl into a ball and cry, seeing his face, normally accompanied by a small smile, gave her the strength to see her next patient.

To everyone, it seemed that the old Charlotte was virtually back.

To everyone but herself.

Cooper had never told his family about the attack, it was too personal and raw to think about bringing it up. He knew that when Charlotte eventually met them, she wouldn't want her humiliation known to everyone, she would walk straight out of the door if she thought that any of their gazes were even partially filled with pity. Therefore, when his mother asked him to have his second cousin to stay for a few days while she was looking at Universities and a place to stay whilst studying in LA, he had no excuse. He tried everything, that they were busy (he was told she'd be perfectly happy to amuse herself), there wasn't enough room (she'd sleep on the sofa) and that it wasn't fair on Charlotte to have someone she didn't know in their home (well, it was about time she got to know your family then… when are we going to meet her?). He'd brought the conversation to an abrupt close at that point and said he'd talk to Charlotte. They hadn't asked why he'd pushed back wedding plans, or cancelled on every trip to come out and see them. He knew it hurt them but they were his family, he'd tell them in time.

When he came home from work that evening he found her curled up on the sofa, blanket pulled over her as she read. He smiled, just watching her. Eventually she realised he was there, putting down her book.

"Hi" her voice was tired and she wasn't wearing any makeup- this was Charlotte at her most relaxed. He noted the front cover, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' that must have been the 20th time she'd read that since they'd been together, let alone in her lifetime. His smile widened and as their eyes met she realized what he'd seen and smiled softly back at him.

"Hey babe" he hung up his coat and sat down beside her on the sofa. He put his arm loosely around her and she nestled up to him "Alright day?"

"Tiring" she mumbled "I hate the hospital" he stiffened slightly and she raised her head up and looked at him, frowning "sorry" She knew that he wanted her to leave the hospital, but to do that would be admitting defeat. "I'm sorry I didn't…"

"No" he sighed as she wriggled back to the position she'd been sitting in previously, pulling the blanket up to her chin "Charlotte I…'

"No Coop it's fine" her tone became no nonsense but he could tell she was slightly hurt. She looked away and there was a moment of tense silence until she said awkwardly "How was your day?"

It hurt him that they had been reduced to this safe, planned conversation. "My mother called", she didn't reply but her shoulders lifted slightly as they tensed. "She wanted to know how we were…"

Charlotte's head snapped around "She doesn't…"

"No" he said calmly "No Char, she doesn't know. I thought it would be better that way" she gave an audible sigh of relief and closed her eyes, a pained expression flickering across her face. "She wanted to talk about my cousin"

Her eyes snapped open again "Who?"

"My second cousin, she's looking at universities at the moment and is particularly interested in UCLA and she wondered if she could stay with us" Charlotte shook her head, stood up and headed for the bedroom. "Charlotte!"

"No Coop! I can't have her here with us!"

"Why not?" he leapt to his feet and moved quickly after her, shoving his shoulder in the door a second before she closed it on him. Her head was bowed and her blonde hair fell over her face. "Charlotte" his tone became pleading

"I can't Coop, what if… what if" she applied more pressure on the door but he was stuck fast.

"Charlotte for God's sake!" he cried as she gave an almighty push and he was, once more on the wrong side of the door. He stamped in frustration, grabbed his coat and left, slamming the door.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! Next chapter coming soon.