Disclaimer: I'll come clean. If I owned -man, it would finally come out as kinda gay.
Notes: This story came to me after my deep realization that in Berlin there are two recurring themes: my coat keeps losing buttons and I spend most of my time on trains.
For Tsuki, who is an awesome translator.
Summary: All they ever do is move forward, one train at a time. Yuvi & some Allen. Modern-fic.
Buttons
Lavi's trying to sneak-cuddle Kanda again. Right now he's just sitting close, their legs brushing, but Kanda knows that pretty soon their shoulders will meet, then Lavi will snuggle up to his side and eventually Lavi will find his way into Kanda's lap. Kanda, of course, will make a point not to reciprocate too soon. But he will, eventually, if only because Lavi's bare arms are already covered in gooseflesh.
That, like Lavi's unsubtle affections, is something that Kanda chooses to ignore for now, staring out the train window. It's night out and too dark to see anything; the only things Kanda can make out are his and Lavi's translucent reflections. Lavi catches his eye in the reflection and gives him a grin. Kanda huffs and turns away, but instead only manages to end up gazing at the boy seated across from him, the only other passenger in their compartment.
He's only in his early teens, maybe thirteen, with white hair and a nasty scar over one eye. He's sleeping, slouched against his window and mouth hanging open a little. He's wrapped in Lavi's worn coat, looking pleasantly warm. Next to him, Kanda feels Lavi shiver. Lavi scootches closer and Kanda almost gives in to the temptation to put his arm around him. He chooses to keep staring at the boy instead.
"You shouldn't have given him your coat," he says. Lavi shrugs.
"Lost another button anyway. And he looks so scrawny." Lavi's voice has a bit of a coo in it, like he's talking about a small, fluffy animal. That's probably how he thinks of the kid anyway; an adorable little animal to be coddled. Kanda thinks that he's a greedy mutt that's taken Lavi's coat and a portion of his dinner, no matter how reluctantly.
Lavi's moving closer again. He rests his head against Kanda's shoulder. He slides one arm around Kanda's, seeking out warmth. Kanda thinks he's being dumb and annoying.
"You'll get sick again," he says and this time his voice is clipped because Lavi just doesn't get it. Lavi's still pale and he has a cough that shakes his whole body. It's paranoid thinking, but it's worse than the last time Lavi was sick. And that time was worse than the last.
Lavi is quiet as he plays with the buttons on Kanda's coat. If the brat pulls one off again, Kanda will kill him. He will, and he won't regret it. Lavi's fingers trace around the edges of a button, curving around like he's about to commit such a crime. Instead Lavi's hand falls away and he shifts to look at the white-haired boy too.
"You think he's albino?" Lavi says, but then it's silent again. Moments pass before: "I think we should take him with us."
Kanda jolts and jerks around to face Lavi. The other boy sits up a little. "No."
Lavi blinks. "He's just like us, Yuu." By which he means orphaned, alone, and with no where to go. Kanda ignores his point.
"We can't afford to feed him." Because they make enough money to eat and sleep by pick-pocketing and conning, but not enough to feed another teenage boy. Lavi just shrugs.
"We'll figure something out." And he goes back to watching the sleeping boy and Kanda can't help but look too. It's true, what Lavi said before. The boy is rather thin. He reminds Kanda of himself and Lavi when they first met, more like scraps of a person than a real one. As if something had been worn away and they forgot how to be people.
Lavi's leaning against his shoulder again and the memories of their meeting makes Kanda shift a little, turning his body, and Lavi takes full advantage of this, moving closer. He stops when he realizes that the armrest is in the way. He pulls back to fiddle with it, trying to find a way to lift it up. He gives up after a moment and sulks. Then he shivers.
Kanda gives in and shrugs off his coat. He throws it at Lavi without looking, but he can hear a half-amused sigh. There's rustling of fabric and then suddenly Lavi's in his lap, trying not to slide off as the train makes a turn and Kanda's reflexes, determined to spite him, make him grab Lavi around the waist. He's a little thinner than he should be, too, and Kanda's coat doesn't quite fit him the way it should. The train straightens out and Lavi settles against Kanda more comfortably. Kanda pulls his coat tighter around Lavi, then lets one of his hands pull him down for a kiss. Lavi makes a pleasant sound in his throat and they pull away, faintly flushed.
"We really should bring him with us," Lavi says and Kanda considers pushing him off of his lap. He settles for a discontented grunt instead.
"We don't know anything about him." Which is entirely true, but looking at the scar over the boy's eye, the one that reminds Kanda of Lavi's eyepatch, he remembers that he doesn't really know anything about Lavi either. To Kanda, Lavi has no last name, no place of origin and no destination. He doesn't know why Lavi wears an eyepatch or what he looks like without it. Kanda has a hand on Lavi's side still and he can feel the boy's ribs. He doesn't know if he'll get sick again and if it'll be even worse.
It probably wouldn't be much different having this mutt with them. Kanda pulls Lavi down for another kiss. He really hopes that this kid is less annoying.
"The kid's going to work for money too," Kanda says when their lips are still brushing. Lavi shifts around to lean against Kanda's chest. He's incredibly ungraceful, but he has a big grin on his face.
"Well, yeah. I'm sure there's some job he can do. I could teach him a few cons." Lavi's happily nestled against Kanda. He tugs at Kanda's coat so it covers the both of them. "You need a new button, by the way," Lavi says. "I'll find a thrift store when we get to the next city. I'll teach the kid to sew, too."
Which is a good idea because Kanda and Lavi have all the skills of conning, thieving housewives. Both their coats are adorned with mismatched buttons and oddly-shaped patches.
"Where are we going?" Kanda asks because it's Lavi's turn to choose, but he just shrugs as he lays his head against Kanda's shoulder.
"Dunno," he says. "Whenever I wake up or whenever we reach the last stop. Whichever's first." And Lavi yawns and Kanda can feel something rattle in his lungs and he can't help but stiffen at the sound, but Lavi just clears his throat and shifts again. His eyelashes brush against Kanda's skin as he closes his eyes.
Lavi falls asleep quickly, just like he always does. The white-haired boy (what was his name? Lavi would remember) continues to sleep soundly. He looks quite small and young in Lavi's too-large coat. His face is grubby and his nails are dirty. He wonders if he and Lavi looked the same way three years ago. He wonders if they look the same now. He doesn't think they do. Back then, they didn't want anything to do with anyone. Now they share coats on trains.
Kanda slides a finger over the space on his coat where a button used to be. He'd be willing to bet that Lavi pulled it off. To be a brat. If Lavi didn't have a habit of losing his buttons already, Kanda would do it back.
The kid is wearing Lavi's coat anyway. It's annoying. Like the kid is getting in the way already by disrupting the way things should be. They'll have to change their routines, things they'd had perfectly set up for years now.
And Kanda doesn't know how to talk to this kid. And the kid doesn't know how to read him. And now Lavi's fawning over him like a new toy. He's screwing everything up already. But it's rare to see Lavi excited and happy these days and Lavi had smiled and laughed with the boy as they shared his dinner. And anyway, Lavi's sleeping in Kanda's lap, not the new kid's.
Kanda reaches under the edges of his coat and takes Lavi's hand.
fin