I was sitting in my room watching television, some TV show about archeologists in Guinea. I had just gotten home from a strenuous day, too many dunder heads, too many accidents, and not enough coffee. Coulson had been on my case today for not handling the paper work for the Jane doe that had come in from the state hospital three days prior. Had to call the land lady too I thought passively.
I hadn't felt like doing anything really since coming home. All I wanted was a quick shower, and box of Mac and Cheese, and some ridiculously inaccurate crime show to lull me to sleep (which I will inevitably then drop the bowl in my face and wake up with cheese smears all over my face but that's something to worry about later). I had finally relaxed enough and had reached that weird asleep but not really phase when the phone had rung. My eyes snapped open and I glared at the general direction of the phone. Maybe if I willed it enough the caller would stop and disappear? Besides my better thinking I threw my fork, which was covered in artificial cheese, at the phone hitting the lamp a good foot away. I cursed my terrible aiming and the random caller, whoever they are, to hell and got up. I walked over to the phone and picked it up while bending over to reach for the fork that had dived into the black hole situated behind my end table.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hi?" the voice said. Male and from the sound of it, if attractive actors I had never met where anything to go by, a very lickable kind of man.
"Hello. Who is this exactly?" I responded. Attractive individual or not my fork was now lost at sea and I had to get up from my couch of death.
"Uh Clint? Who is this?" he responded.
"Well Clint question mark, my name is Darcy. And seeing as how you called me what can I do for you?" I asked. Fork update: still unreachable and now contemplating leaving it for dead.
"I'm sorry I think I have the wrong number actually. I hope I didn't bother you." He said. Son of a biscuit I had to get up for a wrong number. I was hoping the caller would have been the land lady who I had a beef with.
"Oh no bother at all. Well only if you call getting up and throwing my eating device into the dark depths of hell no bother anyway." I snipped back.
"Sorry, I was just trying to call my home phone and I must have called your home by accident." He said apologetically.
"No you got the number right. Beautiful wall paper by the way. Really like how it goes with the furniture" I responded. I waited to hear him either freak his shit or to ask whether or not I was kidding.
"Well if your there can you make sure the oven's off? When I headed out I swear I left my stack of Benjamin's in there and I'd hate for someone to take it." He said back just as quickly.
"Who hides their money in their oven? Ever heard of a safe?" By this point I was curious as to why he wasn't reacting like I thought (the last time I did anything like this the sales man from Dubai was very confused).
"I like to be special. What robber thinks to look in the oven?" he asked. The fork by this point was probably meeting the dust bunnies and trying to settle down with a lovely local to have two point five kids so I basically gave up searching.
"They will if it's a Thanksgiving bandit. Gotta get some of that white meat man."
"Oh never thought of that. I heard that lamps are pretty good hiding places. Won't snitch you to the cops at least." He retorted. I heard some shuffling like he was adjusting papers and a door opening. He must have covered the receiver because I couldn't distinguish what he was saying to mysterious person #1. When he finished he pulled his hand off the phone and coughed.
"I have to go, People. But it's been great talking to you Darcy. Sorry to bother you and your uh, eating utensil." He stated.
"She's escaped the tyranny that is box Mac and Cheese. I think you did her a favor there Clint, but again it's no problem. It's been nice talking actually." I assured.
He laughed and said "Well got to go. Good night Darcy…have a great day tomorrow."
"You too Clint. Try not to set your house on fire. A disaster for your insurance." I grinned.
I heard him laugh before the call clicked to an end. I put the phone back down into the charging station and I was surprised to realize that I was smiling. This guy Clint had just salvaged my day and managed to lift my slightly murderous mood and I didn't even have to put on pants for it.
That's definitely what I call great service.
Had a similar encounter a few months prior and decided to turn it into a fanfiction. Thanks for reading and stay safe.