Carlisle sat stoic, a way I hadn't seen him in a long time, and I walked with soft footing into his office. I knew that I didn't need to say a word for him to know what was on my mind, but I felt a need to put a voice behind my frustrations. As I opened my mouth to speak, I was cut off by his gentle voice.
"It is no longer safe for us to be here," Carlisle had always been a voice of reason among us, but I didn't want to agree with him.
"It's never been safe," I spoke, making sure to lock eyes with him. "But we're strong." I lied too easily to myself. This was the closest to a human emotion I could reach. "Jasper has always had trouble. He's working on..."
Carlisle kept his tone soft, parental, reasoning. "To love her..." I let my eyes fall at the emphasis he put on the word, but Carlisle continued. "You need to know when to step back."
My eyes lifted again to meet his golden ones. I knew what he was asking, or rather, instructing. I knew that it needed to be done in order to keep Bella safe. If Jasper were to lose control again, If I were to lose control... I pushed the thought from my mind, shuddering at it.
I had kept Bella at an arm's length already. She had to feel that awkward human emotion and I knew she felt as if it were her fault.
"It will be as if we'd never existed." Carlisle told me, his words imprinting in my memory. Would that even be possible?
"I need to at least tell her that we're going," I stated, knowing that starting fresh might be the only way to do just that. To make a clean break from this place I needed to clear myself of all things tying me here.
Truth was, the only thing holding me to Forks (besides the rest of the Cullens), was Bella. The possibility of her being seriously hurt, or worse, increased exponentially if we were to stay.
"I'll take her no further than the roadside." I told him. "And then meet up with you and Esme. We can leave from there. New town, new start." Again. I sighed inwardly.
Carlisle nodded once, pronounced. The house would be empty by the time I returned, There would be no trace of our presence here. It was for the best.
It would be as if we'd never existed.