Title: Scooby Z

OR

Son Gohan and the Case of the Missing Might-Be Girlfriend

Disclaimer: Don't I have an honest face? (Or, to be more precise, don't you think I have an honest face? What with not being able to actually see me, 'n all.)
Rating: PG-13 ( T ) – Oh yeah, baby, there's vague references to nudity in this. n.n
Spoilers: If you haven't gotten at least to the Saiyaman Saga yet...you probably won't have any idea who Videl is. What the hell are you reading this for? Go away!

Summary: ThreeShot. "Our top news story today: the world's most beloved daughter, Satan Videl, is still missing." Post-Buu, mild-GhVi.

Yeah, yeah...I'm getting around to KitF. No nagging in your reviews.

(This story is dedicated to dbz-lover91 who never, ever seems to give up hope. n.n )

Part One: We've Got a Mystery on Our Hands, Gang

"So...," Gohan began, searching for the words that would sound the most nonchalant. It wasn't a particular skill of his, but that didn't ever seem to prevent him from trying. "What are you doing this weekend?"

Videl smirked at him. "Can't wait 'till Monday, huh?"

Gohan blushed scarlet at her implication. "W-Well...Wouldn't it be more convenient to do it on a Saturday?"

"Maybe," Videl replied, winking at him. "But I've got plans this weekend, sorry."

Gohan slumped his shoulders, intensely disappointed. "Oh..."

Despite their shared ability to fly, the young demi-saiyan was walking Videl home in an adorably old-fashioned manner. Surprisingly, she even let him carry her backpack for her in a display of misogynistic chivalry that she would have normally refused to tolerate from any other guy. When Son Gohan offered to carry her books, however, Videl found it inexplicably cute and charming.

"Hey," Videl said, resting a hand on her escort's bicep (which was about as high as she could reach without stretching). "It's only a couple more days, Gohan-kun. You can wait until then, can't you?"

Gohan replied with a nod and a shy glance in her direction, the color in his face still as brightly red as a cherry tomato. "Yeah...I guess."

Videl smiled at him in praise. "Good! We'll leave right after school, okay? Maybe even earlier, if we can sneak away."

Now Gohan was smiling, too. "Yeah, okay."

As they exchanged the last words of their dialogue, the Satan mansion came into view. Stopping before the front gates, Videl offered Gohan her farewell for the weekend. "'Bye, Gohan-kun. I'll see you on Monday, right?"

Gohan looked down at his feet, grinning, as he said, "R-Right. See you then."

With a cheery wave, Videl swiped her key card through the card reader mounted in brick off to the side of the gates. A series of loud clicks later and the decorative chrome doors swung open to let her in.

"Videl-san, wait!" Gohan called just as she was slipping past the metal bars. She leaned back out to watch him as he stepped closer, holding out her satchel for her to take. "You almost forgot your books. We've got homework this weekend."

Videl fought the urge to laugh as she accepted the bag from him and said, "You're right, we do. Don't want to forget that, do we?"

Gohan's face turned a deeper shade of magenta. "W-Well...midterms are coming up..."

"'Bye, Gohan," Videl told him again, this time blowing him a kiss with two of her fingers. "I'll see you on Monday."

As she shut the gates behind her and began walking up to the front doors of her family's enormous home, Videl made a mental note to get the surveillance footage of the expression of Gohan's face after that last transaction. Turning around now would just spoil the effect...

— — —

"Aww, man...," Videl complained, pulling her white T-shirt up and over her head. She was frowning as she threw it to the floor, disgusted. "I can't believe I did that..."

She grumbled incomprehensible expletives to herself as she proceeded to fully disrobe herself and throw all of her discarded clothing onto the floor in one disorderly pile. Finally relieved of the last few stitches covering her modesty, she polished off the juice she had brought upstairs with her and began thinking about what she would need for the weekend. More clothes, obviously, but what else...?

Crushing the empty can, Videl tossed it into the wastepaper bin next to her desk on her way past. She opened the door to her adjoining bathroom and reached out for her robe just as –

Tap, tap.

Videl jumped at the noise, startled by its proximity.

Tap, tap.

It was coming from her balcony!

Wary of anything and everything that sought entrance to her private space through her fifth-floor window (even Gohan and his little brother used the door)Videl dropped into her reflexive fighting stance and turned to face the intruder.

"Hey – Oh, geeze!"

'Crap!'

— — —

The next day...

Gohan yawned, completely bored. Most Saturdays were dull at the Son house, especially when Goku was off training with Vegeta at Capsule Corps and Goten had Trunks to keep him occupied, but today the lack of activity was excruciating. Gohan had been hoping to at least talk to Videl sometime over the course of the afternoon, but she wasn't picking up her cell phone, her communicator watch or even her home extension. Whatever her plans were for the weekend, they certainly excluded outside communication.

Shame...he was going to have one more go at convincing her to forget her obligations and move up their –

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE? WHERE ARE YOU FREAKS HIDING HER?"

Rolling off his bed with a loud thump, Gohan perked his ears up to listen for any further disturbances to the household peace.

"TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE DELINQUENT SON IS HIDING MY LITTLE GIRL!"

"M-Mr. Satan...?" Gohan mused aloud, climbing to his feet and leaning his head out his bedroom door. "What's he doing here...?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

Gohan quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Mom?"

Finally leaving his quarters, he trotted down both the hallway and the staircase, searching for the cause of the commotion. It sounded like it was coming from the front door...

When Gohan reached the bottom landing, his eyes widened to twice their normal proportions at the sight he beheld. "M-Mom! What are you doing?"

Chi-Chi, from her position on Mr. Satan's back, replied, "He came storming in here shouting about some nonsense – "

"IT'S NOT NONSENSE!" Mr. Satan countered far more loudly than necessary. "I KNOW HE'S HIDING HER AND I WANT HER BACK!"

Hooking her elbow around one of Mr. Satan's ankles, Chi-Chi gave it a hard yank, sneering as he bellowed in pain. "If you insult my Gohan with your ridiculous hogwash one more time," Chi-Chi informed him, pressing his face into her spotless floor with the heel of her right foot. "You're going to be limping to your next photo shoot!"

In the background, Goten and Trunks were yelling and whooping encouragement. "Yeah! Give his leg a twist!"

"You can do it, Mommy!"

"It's not ridiculous!" Mr. Satan retorted, his words only slightly muffled against the hardwood flooring of the foyer. "My baby girl is missing and that skinny little bastard you call a son kidnap – ow, ow, ow, OW!"

"Ooh! I heard something pop!" Trunks shouted, pointing and laughing from the couch in the adjoining living room.

Goten, who was cheering right alongside him, concurred. "Yeah! Look, his eyes are getting all swirly!"

Chi-Chi relaxed her hold on Mr. Satan's leg when it appeared he was about to black out. She lowered it slightly so that his knee almost touched the ground, but maintained a firm hold on it just in case he needed to be taught another lesson. "Don't you slander my baby, you big fame-stealing buffoon! It should be my Gohan's face on breakfast cereal boxes, not your ugly mug!"

Recovering (slightly) from his initial shock, Gohan leapt forward and began prying his mother's hold from Mr. Satan's bent-backwards leg. "Mom! Let go!"

"Aww...," Goten and Trunks both lamented in unison. "You're no fun, Gohan!" the lavender-haired half of the duo accused.

Goten agreed wholeheartedly, puckering his lower lip in a pout. "Yeah! I wanted to see Mommy hit him with the chair next..."

Chi-Chi relinquished Mr. Satan reluctantly, knowing well and good that if Gohan forced her no one would be happy (those Saiyan men could never control their strength very well). She also allowed him to help her up, but struggled as he tried to place himself between her and her gargantuan adversary. "No one insults my Gohan and gets away with it!" she shouted, clawing in the general direction of Mr. Satan's eyes. "Especially not some poodle-haired, overblown, pompous ass who – "

Mr. Satan, who had escaped to a corner to cower in fear, suddenly objected; "Who's got poodle hair?"

Before anyone could start fighting again, Gohan demanded to know, "What's going on around here? Somebody start explaining!"

"As if you didn't know, boy!" Mr. Satan accused, leaping to his feet to point a finger in Gohan's direction. To make the moment extra dramatic, he paused before saying, "Videl is missing and you're the one who took her!"

Gohan was numb for a full thirty seconds before the horror officially began to creep into his system. "Wh-What? Videl-san is...missing?"

"No!" Goten shouted from the living room, his voice cracking as tears began to sprout in his eyes. "What happened to 'Nee-chan?"

Chi-Chi had stopped struggling to get around Gohan at Mr. Satan's proclamation. "What do you mean 'missing'? My future daughter-in-law wouldn't be taken so easily!"

Mr. Satan's face contorted into an unreadable expression. "Future – ?"

Gohan stepped away from his mother and grabbed Mr. Satan by the front of his training gi, his initial shock fading away into fearful panic. "Worry about that later! Tell me what happened to Videl-san!"

The physically larger man struggled in Gohan's powerful grip, but couldn't break free. "Don't pretend that you don't know about it, boy! It's been all over the news since last night! Don't you people watch TV?"

"We don't have one," Goten offered helpfully, sniffling as Trunks patted him on the back. "Mommy says it disrupts our studies and kills brain cells." ( 1 )

"Well, that's stupid," Mr. Satan retorted, scoffing. "I watch ten hours of TV a day and there's nothing wrong with – "

"Would you just tell us what happened to Videl-san?" Gohan shouted, backing Mr. Satan up into the wall. The plaster cracked around the new indentation formed around his body.

Shaking his head to regain his bearings, Mr. Satan admitted, "Well...I don't know, exactly. She went missing while I was taking my nap..."

The numbness was back causing the material of Mr. Satan's clothing to slip through Gohan's fingers. The older man's feet touched the floor once again as the eldest demi-Saiyan began to feel helpless and vulnerable...

"Don't you prehistoric freaks have a neighbor or something with a TV?" Mr. Satan asked, rubbing the swelling bump on the back of his head.

"We have a radio," Chi-Chi snapped, seething at Mr. Satan as she moved around Gohan to get to the kitchen. The World Champion moved out of her way as she passed him, pressing himself back into the impression his short quarrel with Gohan had left in the wall.

A few moments later, she reappeared with a small hand-held radio that was labeled, "for Mozart and emergencies only." When she flipped it on, a classical music score came out of it, but was quickly replaced with static and a random mixture of rock 'n roll, jazz and oldies. Chi-Chi finally stopped on a news station, which was currently spouting a commercial for Satan Flakes.

Soon, the serious baritone of the newscaster announced, "Our top news story today: the world's most beloved daughter, Satan Videl, is still missing. The police of Satan City are absolutely baffled about who could possibly have abducted the only child of the World Champion, but claim that they have some promising leads as to her whereabouts."

After a short pause, the anchorman continued: "All current reports agree that Videl-san was last seen at around three-thirty yesterday afternoon by the family chef. She stopped by the kitchen to get a drink and then left, apparently to go up to her room. At around six, one of the household servants entered her room to announce that dinner was on the table and found her missing. Spotting the clothes she had worn that day on the floor covered in blood, the servant immediately called for Mr. Satan and then the police."

"Oh, goodness...," Chi-Chi exclaimed, pressing a hand to her mouth in disbelief.

Gohan felt the power deep within him begin to flicker as the information was absorbed and filed away in his memory, but managed to hold himself in check so that he could listen to the full report. The difficulty of doing so was making his balled fists shake.

"Immediately before her disappearance," said the anchorman. "Videl-san was said to have been in the company of one of her classmates, a 'Son Gohan-san,' who has been known to follow her out of class whenever she is called upon by the police to help apprehend difficult suspects. Fellow students call his behavior 'odd' at best and, at worst, 'stalkerish' and claim to be worried about his obsessive and spurned behavior towards Videl-san. For now, Son Gohan-san is not a suspect, but the police consider him a person of interest in their investigation. If you have any knowledge as to the whereabouts of either Videl-san or Son Gohan-san, please call your local precinct hotline. Operators will be standing by.

If either Saiyaman or the Golden warrior is listening to this broadcast, the world begs you to help bring the culprits in Videl-san's disappearance to justice! Please, go to the Satan City police department for more information on the case. Your efforts would be greatly appreciated. In other news – "

Once the story of interest had finished, Chi-Chi shut off the radio. In the ensuing silence amongst Gohan and his kin, Mr. Satan pointed at the teenaged member of the group with the same accusing finger and shouted, "You see, boy? They're on to you! There's no way for you to escape!"

Feeling his facade of control beginning to crack, Gohan yelled right back at the pompous idiot of a World Champion. "I didn't do anything to Videl-san! I walked her home from school, that's all!"

"Oh?" Mr. Satan queried, propping his fists against his hips. "Did she know that you were walking her home from school? Or were you stalking her?"

"I don't need to stalk her!" Gohan countered, feeling his chi begin to leak through his weakly-constructed barriers. "We're...we're kind of...," he trailed off, blushing. It was stupid, being embarrassed over his relationship with Videl at a time like this. "Look, I don't need to stalk her to spend time with her! She's been my friend for almost a year now."

After building up enough courage (or, at the very least, allowing his stupidity to get the better of him), Mr. Satan poked Gohan in the chest. "Oh? I'll bet you think that you're more than friends, don'tcha? I'll bet you think that Videl – "

Glaring like he was in battle-mode, Gohan stretched himself to his full, impressive height. Even then, he was only slightly taller than Mr. Satan. "What difference does it make right now? Shouldn't we be out there looking for Videl-san?"

"That's what I'm doing!" Mr. Satan shouted, poking Gohan again. This time, he must have done it too hard because he pulled his hand back and began rubbing his afflicted digit tenderly (which isn't as dirty as it sounds). "All that's left is for you to tell me where you've hidden her!"

"I DON'T HAVE HER!"

Chi-Chi, changing places with her son as the reasonable one of the family, stepped in between Gohan and Mr. Satan as the former's clear aura of chi began to surround his body. Though she tried to push them both back a few steps, she only managed to budge Mr. Satan (who, in part, moved voluntarily). "Everyone just calm down! We're not helping Videl-chan by standing around and arguing with one another. Gohan, why don't you put on your costume and go to the police department like they suggested on the radio? I'm sure you'll be able to get more information there."

Gohan forced himself to power down and the crystalline chi flames were reabsorbed into his body. His eyes still had that hard battle edge, though. "Fine."

"We want to help, too!" Goten shouted, scrambling over the top of the couch to run to his brother's side. When he reached Gohan, he began tugging insistently on his pant leg. "Please let us help you find 'Nee-chan! We want to fight the bad guys who took her!"

Trunks, only a couple of paces behind, jerked on Gohan's hand from the opposite side. "Yeah, let us help! Maybe we could split up and look for clues!"

Forcing the best smile that he could under the circumstances, Gohan patted his brother on the head. "Fine, squirt, but don't go off looking for her on your own. You have to do what I tell you, okay?"

Nodding enthusiastically, Goten replied, "Yeah! We'll do whatever you say, 'Nii-san! Right, Trunks-kun?"

The elder youngster replied with a simple, "Yeah!"

"Hold on, hold on!" Mr. Satan broke in. "Who says that I'm letting you out of my sight, boy? I still think that you're the one behind this so don't think that I'm not onto you! I'll follow you around until you lead me to my baby girl!"

Reforming the frown on his face, Gohan declined to argue. "Fine, but stay out of my way."

Gohan reached up to press the special red button on the side of his watch and, in mere seconds, he was Saiyaman, the universally acknowledged hero of the world second only to Mr. Satan and his missing daughter. "Let's go."

— — —

Footnotes:

( 1 ) Yeah, I know Goten mentions seeing superheroes on TV in one episode, but I figure he could be watching them at Trunks' house. Chi-Chi seems the type to disallow "the box" in her house.

—

Author's Notes: Yeah...I'm on a DBZ binge right now and thought up a new story. This is basically meant to be funny (even if this chapter's kind of intense right near the end), so don't take anything to seriously.

In case anyone's wondering where Mr. Buu is during this interaction, that'll all be explained in the next chapter (which you'll get a week from now, Muahahaha...)

Oh, and I'm using "-san" for everyone but Mr. Satan because, even in the Japanese version, he's called "mister." It's part of his original stage name, apparently.

Btw, this is going to be a ThreeShot, so don't get your hopes up for a long continuation. It ain't happenin'. I've got enough troubles trying to update KitF (which, yes, I'm doing my best to edit/update soon, so don't ask). By the time you read this chapter, the entire story will have been completed and self-edited, so don't worry about updates.

I think we can all agree when I say: Ruh-oh Raggy!

Oh, and I was looking through old reviews earlier and I noticed that several people asked me about my little tagline (as seen below my signature). I always thought the meaning was pretty obvious, but...well, maybe not n.n; I mean, I was the one who wrote it, so what the hell do I know? (This is where impartiality as readers comes in.) If you're confused, just mention it in your review. I'll add a little explanation at the end of the next chapter either way, but I'd like to know what kind of statistics I'm dealing with here...

For those of you who are wondering why I add it in the first place, it's just something I do for all of my favorite pairings. I've got them for SasuHina (Naruto), MirKag (InuYasha) and IshiHime (Bleach -- different profile), too.

. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .

– Who's your daddy? GohanVidel

—

Next Chapter...Collecting clues...unraveling the mystery...is it blood?