THE LONELY WANDERER--OH NEVER MIND.
A Zelgadis Introspective by Cyanne
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Zelgadis. *shrugs* Zelgadis is owned by the Slayers creators, who also are not owned by me. Don't sue, I have no money anyway. Hah, you think I'm kidding.
AN: I don't know where this came from. I don't think it's going anywhere. I just sat down at my computer one day and wrote it. I've tried to add more, but it feels done somehow. Who am I to second-guess my Muse? PG FOR LIGHT SWEARING.
Setting: Post-Try
My name is Zelgadis Greywards. I wander the endless world alone, cursed by fate, a man with nothing left to lose...
"Zelgaaaaadis-san...?" prompts a slightly impatient female voice. "Are you ready to go?"
How does she know, I wonder, jolted out of my reverie. I sigh, "Yes, I'm ready."
It is morning. We are just leaving the inn where we passed the previous night, yet another stop on our endless journey...
"Zelgadis-san, what are you thinking about?"
I grit my teeth, trying to be annoyed, but somehow it doesn't come. It's getting harder and harder these days to get annoyed at Amelia. Now I'm getting the opposite reaction, strange urges to smile, to tussle her shiny black hair, like I would to a puppy or a little sister, if I had one. It's ridiculous. Such unfamiliar urges to me; I've gotten too used to anger and despair. It is disconcerting.
Her bright blue eyes are fixed on me curiously, shining innocence. Those blue eyes are what do me in every time. When they focus on me, I feel beaten down, defenseless. Frustrated. Now I know why Lina gets so irritated with Gourry sometimes; it's easy to get angry, but when you see the innocence in those eyes, the wonder, your anger becomes cheap, unfair. And then you feel even angrier, but there is nowhere for the anger to go. Lina usually goes and smashes something. I just get depressed.
And Amelia knows it.
That's the strange thing about Amelia. Somehow she has learned how to tell when I'm brooding, no matter how I try to hide it. She seems to have made it her mission to thwart my melancholic urges, even though I never asked her and have certainly made my preferences on the matter clear ("Don't bother"). But she's persistent. If I go off on my own, she follows me. If I stare off into space, she talks to me. It used to drive me crazy, and then I'd feel even worse. Now...
"Zelgadis-san, you haven't answered me."
I give my usual response, "It's nothing."
She surprises me by clapping her small hand on my shoulder--quite a reach for her. "Don't worry, Zelgadis-san, we'll find your cure. Justice is always rewarded, and after beating Darkstar, I'd say we're due for something wonderful!"
She smiles and winks. Against my will, I smile back. Damn it. She is utterly contagious. A disease perhaps without a cure. I've actually caught myself making jokes around her--me, whom Lina once said had no sense of humor. I certainly never knew I had one. I thought everything human in me had been burned away by Rezo.
As I look at Amelia, I realize it is not the case.
Damn it.
FIN
A Zelgadis Introspective by Cyanne
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Zelgadis. *shrugs* Zelgadis is owned by the Slayers creators, who also are not owned by me. Don't sue, I have no money anyway. Hah, you think I'm kidding.
AN: I don't know where this came from. I don't think it's going anywhere. I just sat down at my computer one day and wrote it. I've tried to add more, but it feels done somehow. Who am I to second-guess my Muse? PG FOR LIGHT SWEARING.
Setting: Post-Try
My name is Zelgadis Greywards. I wander the endless world alone, cursed by fate, a man with nothing left to lose...
"Zelgaaaaadis-san...?" prompts a slightly impatient female voice. "Are you ready to go?"
How does she know, I wonder, jolted out of my reverie. I sigh, "Yes, I'm ready."
It is morning. We are just leaving the inn where we passed the previous night, yet another stop on our endless journey...
"Zelgadis-san, what are you thinking about?"
I grit my teeth, trying to be annoyed, but somehow it doesn't come. It's getting harder and harder these days to get annoyed at Amelia. Now I'm getting the opposite reaction, strange urges to smile, to tussle her shiny black hair, like I would to a puppy or a little sister, if I had one. It's ridiculous. Such unfamiliar urges to me; I've gotten too used to anger and despair. It is disconcerting.
Her bright blue eyes are fixed on me curiously, shining innocence. Those blue eyes are what do me in every time. When they focus on me, I feel beaten down, defenseless. Frustrated. Now I know why Lina gets so irritated with Gourry sometimes; it's easy to get angry, but when you see the innocence in those eyes, the wonder, your anger becomes cheap, unfair. And then you feel even angrier, but there is nowhere for the anger to go. Lina usually goes and smashes something. I just get depressed.
And Amelia knows it.
That's the strange thing about Amelia. Somehow she has learned how to tell when I'm brooding, no matter how I try to hide it. She seems to have made it her mission to thwart my melancholic urges, even though I never asked her and have certainly made my preferences on the matter clear ("Don't bother"). But she's persistent. If I go off on my own, she follows me. If I stare off into space, she talks to me. It used to drive me crazy, and then I'd feel even worse. Now...
"Zelgadis-san, you haven't answered me."
I give my usual response, "It's nothing."
She surprises me by clapping her small hand on my shoulder--quite a reach for her. "Don't worry, Zelgadis-san, we'll find your cure. Justice is always rewarded, and after beating Darkstar, I'd say we're due for something wonderful!"
She smiles and winks. Against my will, I smile back. Damn it. She is utterly contagious. A disease perhaps without a cure. I've actually caught myself making jokes around her--me, whom Lina once said had no sense of humor. I certainly never knew I had one. I thought everything human in me had been burned away by Rezo.
As I look at Amelia, I realize it is not the case.
Damn it.
FIN