Title and inspiration from Woodwork, by Sleeping At Last.
They had all been blind to the signs that pointed to the fall of the Jedi Order. Very reluctantly, Obi-Wan was impressed by the mastery of Darth Sidious' plans and their brilliant execution, and also the man's patience. If one thought about it with more attention, it would become clear that he must have been working towards the Republic's fall since the Invasion of Naboo, over a decade past.
It made Obi-Wan think about how much was planned, and how much was simply luck. It doesn't matter, for the ending remains the same: the Republic in pieces, the Jedi nearly wiped out, and a Sith as the Emperor of the Galaxy.
x
As night falls in the backwater planet they've chosen to live in, Obi-Wan finds himself watching Anakin again. Sometimes, he is baffled by how Anakin seems to move on with life, even after the death of his wife and children, and with the galaxy in chaos around them.
Then he remembers that this calm and poise Anakin seems to possess is true only on the surface, and the only thing he feels is guilt. He knows he couldn't have stopped the rise of Sidious single-handedly, but his biggest disappointment had been being unable to save his closest friend.
It feels strange, being isolated in a planet with little contact with the rest of the galaxy. Obi-Wan knows that horrible things are happening out there, but being so far away from everything interferes with the comms, and it's the same thing as being deaf to the outside.
The consequence is feeling as if time had become still; and, in particularly trying days, it feels as though they are in a completely different universe. They are unable to help even themselves, and so, incapable of helping the rest of their galaxy. They are stuck in a cruel limbo, filled with grief and worry, but simultaneously detached from their own feelings.
Even their own problems had a fantasy-like quality to them. They rarely talked, and Obi-Wan wondered if Anakin thought that ignoring his problems and last actions would make them alright, but decided it was something best kept to himself.
He wanted to help, truly. He knew that at the moment, the best course of action was to give Anakin space and time, but it was hard to watch him move so automatically around their little house. Though usually reserved, the current situation made Obi-Wan want to take Anakin on his arms and hug him for hours; to soothe his pain and fear and help him process it, instead of keeping it all in. Yet every time he tried to do it, something in the atmosphere seemed to make him think twice, and he never followed through.
Obi-Wan was hurting, too. The Force felt raw from the deaths of so many of its users, and trying to open himself to it all at once was equivalent to asking for the pain of a hundred beings. He knew it would take years for the agony to dissipate, for it to become free from the last moments of countless lives.
But as long as Sidious remained in power, the Force would continue to bleed.
Having to restrain his connection with it was a daily struggle, and he could only guess how it was for Anakin. If the sudden flinches and winces of pain were anything to go by, he wasn't having a much better time at it. He mourned the death of people he'd known for decades, but still couldn't blame Anakin for what had happened. Sidious had been wonderful at manipulating them all, more alike puppets on strings than he'd like to admit.
At times, Obi-Wan would feel rage burst deep inside of him, directed towards the man that had ruined their lives and the galaxy in one fell swoop, but realized any attempt to retaliate would quickly be processed and repressed. He'd seen what the Dark Side could do to people, had brushes with it in the past, and wanted no part in it.
x
Trying to start conversation with Anakin was an exercise in futility. When he wasn't ignored completely, something probably due to frequent space-outs, he was answered with short and almost snappish phrases until Obi-Wan desisted.
With nearly no contact with the galaxy around them and barely any interaction with the only other person with him, Obi-Wan slowly yet steadily grew restless. Anakin's unresponsiveness, although easy to understand, unsettled him; to see one usually so bright become so dim was wrong, in more ways than one.
It came to the point of Obi-Wan staying away for most of the day, hunting in the woods for edible fruits and tracking animals for meat, for a lack of anything more compelling to do. And though Anakin stayed much the same after Obi-Wan's trips began, he noticed the added vigilance. When he returned, Anakin would always be close to the door, pretending to be busy.
It meant he cared still. It mattered to Anakin if Obi-Wan returned or not, and it put Obi-Wan at ease. Somehow, he was certain that if he went away for too long, Anakin would venture out to search for him, to assure himself that he was alright.
Anakin was clearest in these subsequent moments after a return, his mind and senses sharp again, his focus honed as it used to be. Yet it never took long for him to lapse back into silence and dismissal. Still, Obi-Wan counted it a win.
It wasn't long before Obi-Wan grew uneasy again, and decided to test his theory. He went out early in the morning, and walked farther than usual. It had its benefits, such as finding more small animals to hunt and different kinds of fruits and plants. As the sky began to darken, he felt Anakin's distant presence become restless and fidgety. When the sun disappeared in the horizon, the presence began to move rapidly in his direction, so he turned and started walking back to their house, in a much more sedate pace.
When Anakin caught up with him, he was panting, and a faint sheen of sweat was visible under the poor moonlight. He stood away for a while, regaining his breath, before walking up to Obi-Wan and searching him for injuries despite his protests to the manhandling. His expression turned thunderous, probably in consequence of the calm and ease Obi-Wan was emitting. He found his own excitement hard to contain, eager to get a proper reaction from Anakin after months of silence.
"What were you thinking? It's night time already, and look at how far you are from home! We've only seen these woods in daylight, what would you have done if some nocturnal creature took you by surprise?" he nearly screams, his voice grave from disuse and made heavy with anger. "You were walking as if you had all the time of the world! Did you think I would not be worried?"
The last commentary makes anger bloom in Obi-Wan as well, rising quickly and without obstacle. "Was I to assume you were capable of worry after months of nothing? You never gave any indicator of caring if I went out or not, and now you berate me for breaking some imaginary curfew? You think me incapable of defending myself? I am a Jedi, Anakin, and the Force is my ally! It would aid me in any situation."
Anakin flinches in the last part, but his fury manages to get through the hurt. "You left your lightsaber! The Force may be your ally, our ally, but we have been surprised before, despite it, and by native creatures as well," he says, and steps back, bringing both hands to his hair in a clear display of frustration. "I know how I've been lately, but you understand why. You know what happened. Of course I worry about you, Obi-Wan, you've been my best friend for years and are now the only person I have left in this whole galaxy. I do not wish to see you hurt."
That makes Obi-Wan snort derisively, which in turn makes Anakin flinch again. "You 'do not wish to see me hurt'. What a great display you have done of that! I understand your pain, I try to give you space to grieve, but you seem to ignore my own! Do you truly expect me to carry on as if nothing has happened? To continue to exhibit support to you when you have betrayed me so completely, and still want nothing in return? Everyone I knew and cared for is dead, save yourself. We are both stuck in a ruined galaxy, with a madman in power, and so far removed from the rest of the universe that not even our comms work anymore. Do you intend to blame me for wanting to explore, from wanting to move instead of stagnating inside of a makeshift home?"
"Of course not! I know very well of the role I played in everything. I know you're hurt, too. Everyone I love is dead too, except for you! Every time I try to think of how to make it up to you, my mind turns blank, did you know? I can't even work out why you seem to have forgiven me, I clearly do not deserve it. At the same time, I don't want to be away from you. That's why I worry."
Anakin's defeated posture was what Obi-Wan had needed to calm down and release his own anger. "We are both hurt and broken beyond fixing. We are stuck here, but you continue to ignore me, and dismiss my attempts at moving on despite everything. What can we do, other than keep on going, when there is nothing left? Yet you continue to prefer to drown in grief, dragging me with you. I can't do it without your help, Anakin, but you don't seem to understand that."
"I do understand, I just never manage to force myself into doing something about it. When I try, guilty floods me. What right do I have to keep living in peace after bringing so much misery to this galaxy? After trying so desperately to save my loved ones and being the reason for my own failure?" He makes a distressed sound, frowning as if in pain.
Obi-Wan gives one step forward, years of instinct guiding him to protect, soothe. "It was my failure as well, Anakin. My failure to see what Sidious was doing to your mind, to realize the web of manipulation he had spun around it, blocking everything else. These last few months have made me realize it. I share the same fault as you do."
Anakin's eyes soften around the corners, although they still hold a world of pain. "You were the best Master I could have ever hoped for. A long time went by with me disregarding your lessons, thinking them stupid. But you have done better by me than everyone else could ever have."
Obi-Wan grins wryly, eyes shining. "Never thought I'd see the day of you saying that to my face, Anakin. Color me surprised." Anakin snorts ungracefully in response, a big smile appearing on his face.
"Oh please, Master, as if you need any more assurance that you're good. Everyone loves you."
"I don't need to be assured I'm good? Are you sure you haven't switched us around? I am pretty sure you are mistaken."
Anakin hits him softly in the shoulder, but laughs anyway. They stay silent for a while, comfortable for the first time in many months, but then Anakin's expression turns somber again.
"I know you dismiss me every time I try to compliment you. I know I'm also not the only that thinks you should receive more credit, even in this ruined galaxy. I know you very well, and you will never accept it, but I'm also stubborn as all hells, so you'll hear it for very long."
Obi-Wan suppresses the urge to rolls his eyes, and smiles fondly instead. "I know your stubbornness very well," he remarks, and Anakin gives a grin that manages to be both sheepish and wry.
"One last serious thing to say: please don't stay out this late again, or at least not alone. Alright? I'll try to move on, so just… help me with it."
"When haven't I helped you?"
"Pretty sure I could remember a situation if I tried," he says with a smirk, and Obi-Wan scoffs.
A smirk-turned-smile is the only thing Obi-Wan gets as a warning before feeling a brief pressure of lips on his own.
He stands dumbfounded, staring at an already-moving Anakin, whose only reaction is to turn and give a sheepish smile, before continuing to walk away.
Still shocked, though pleasantly so, Obi-Wan follows, happy that they've found some measure of balance in spite of the galaxy in shambles around them.