Since the day they came back from the Dark World, life became a little more meaningful. Sadly, it wasn't enough for them to feel that way. Their parents have been the ones to take care of them in their own way (putting even more effort since Asriel left) but it took Kris a long time to understand and accept it the way it was.
Because they never asked to be saved, they were to far gone at this point. However deep inside them Kris was thankfull of being reminded that they were loved. That they do matter. And that they're important.
When trying to think of their biological parents, they only managed to see blur pictures, blur shapes. Still, that disgusting taste in their mouth was enough for them to stop right away.
As far as they can tell, thing's haven't been this monotone from the start. They lived their live; going to school, trying to socialize and doing their best at not being left behind in class. Thankfully, now they've new friends who cared and support them. But even if life was giving them this presents, they can't help but looking back.
Staring at the darkness behind them, smiling at the thought of disappearing, the feeling of satisfaction when doing things they knew shoudn't do. Kris knew this was wrong to think, to feel, and so, by suppresing their desires they focused in everything but them.
Because they knew they were wrong, just like always. Kris smiled at the feeling of uselessness, letting a soft giggle escape from their lips at the idea of being dead and stop being such a trouble for their broken family. It was quickly dismised. No. Shut up.Stop.
'They still have hope'they tried to believe. The faces of their family came to mind, erasing their smile.
Yes, that's right, be a good child for one in your life, don't let them down you useless sack of scum.
They gave a glare at the cage in the corner of they room. The gentle light of the SOUL trying to fill the rest of the room with it's scarlet shine. They stared at it, grinning at it's pointless attempts to free itself from their prision. They squeezed the knife they were holding, feeling joy at the accidental cuts the blade caused at the contact with their fingers.
They let themselfs rest a little more on the carpet before returning to bed. Staring at the celing with a big smile and flashy red eyes full of amusment. Tomorrow their emotions should be gone again, so would be the SOUL. But there was no problem, Kris could always tear ir apart everytime it was needed.
What broke inside them? How did they came into this state?
Kris could just wonder.