A/N: Hey everyone, I'm Maddy! I'm new to writing fanfiction but definitely not to reading it! I've been lurking around this site for years. I came across this story a long time ago and have loved it ever since but it was never completed. After a huge internal debate I sent an email to the original author (Skylla1231) and she has given me permission to edit/continue this story through to the end.
I know it won't be as good as if she wrote it herself but hopefully completing it will earn me some brownie points *wink*
The first fifteen chapters are from the original story with just some editing so I'll upload two or three everyday (to give me more time to get my ducks in a row) then on to new material!
For those unaware Learning to Live takes place right after her other story Leaving so please go read that first if you haven't already.
Chapter One
It felt as though the sky was mourning with me, I thought sadly. The wind and rain had picked up since we started driving back to Rangeman. Every few yards thunder boomed above and lightning flashed all around us.
I was sitting in the passenger's seat of the Explorer looking out the window as Tank drove. I watched as a raindrop traveled its way down the tinted window, slowly increasing in size as it picked up more water, until it slid down the side of the door, out of my sight.
I was absentmindedly tracing circles over my stomach to try to calm down. It was ironic that the only thing keeping me grounded was also making me an anxious wreck. How was I going to tell three of my best friends that I was pregnant by the man we just buried?
Admitting it to myself and saying it out loud were two different things.
Take a deep breath, I mentally prepared myself. You can do this. They're your friends. They love you and they will love this baby.
Just breathe.
"Are you ok, Steph?" I jumped at the sound of Tanks voice. He couldn't have spoken louder than a whisper but I wasn't exactly expecting it either. No one had said a word since we got into the car.
The soft tone of his voice reminded me all too much of the last Babe that I heard.
Dammit. I tried to control them but I felt more tears begin to pool in my eyes. One blink sent a hot tear trailing down my face. Followed by another. And another. And another.
Angry at myself, I frantically wiped them away.
No, I yelled at myself. Stop it. No more crying. I need to be strong now. I need to make Ranger proud. I need to make our son proud.
"Beautiful?" Lester spoke up from the seat behind me, when I didn't say anything.
I opened my mouth to tell them I was fine but no words came out. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "I...," my voice was hoarse from crying so much today, "I need to tell you guys something."
"You know you can tell us anything," Bobby, who was sitting next to Lester, spoke for the first time. "What is it?"
"I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it." Taking a few deep breaths I finally told them what I had kept secret for so long. "I'm . . . I'm pregnant."
Silence.
Pure, unadulterated silence. Not even the weather was making any noise. The thunder had stopped. The rain turned into a light drizzle. The wind had all but dissipated.
"Guys, please." I half whispered, half begged. "Please say something. Anything. Yell at me, congratulate me. I don't care. Just please say something."
Still nothing. No one spoke. No one moved. I wouldn't be surprised if they had stopped breathing.
It was as if time stood still.
By this time we were pulling into the Rangeman garage. Tank didn't even bother parking in a spot. As soon as the back end of the car was past the gate he threw the car in park. He didn't even shut off the engine before he was out of his door and opening mine.
His hands gripping my shoulders were as hard as his voice when he spoke. "Are you sure Stephanie?" He was too close but he moved one hand to hold my chin in place when I tried to look away. "Are you sure?"
Fear started to creep up my back from the look in Tanks eyes. I couldn't name it. It was too intense to identify. It left me completely speechless.
When I didn't answer he gave me a little shake. This time when he spoke, his voice was a little gentler. "Are you sure, Stephanie?"
Now he looked . . . almost pleading. Pleading for what I was too sure. Did he want me to be pregnant? Or did he wish I wasn't pregnant?
Still unable to speak, but understanding I had to answer him, I slowly nodded my head.
A second later my seatbelt was unhooked and I was out of the car suspended in midair. Looking down at Tanks face below me, I saw relief, joy, and . . . tons of love. So much love was shining in his eyes.
"I knew that son of a bitch wouldn't leave us like that," Tank said as he brought me down into his arms and hugged me. "I knew it. I just knew it."
I don't know how many times he repeated those words but they helped ease a little of the pain in my heart. He already loved the little miracle inside me as much as he loved Ranger, his brother in almost every sense of the word.
I wound my suddenly shaky arms around his neck and moved my lips close to his ear. "It's a boy Tank. I can feel that it's a boy."
When I pulled back to see his face again, what I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.
The concern I felt must have shown on my face because Tank started laughing and said, "These are tears of joy Bombshell. I couldn't be any happier right now." He pulled my head back down on his shoulder and spoke quietly so only I could hear. "You don't know what this is going to mean to all the guys. Losing Ra . . . losing Ranger put a huge whole in all of us. We're all still hurting but this baby, this amazing baby boy, is going to change all that. He's gonna help make us all a little more whole again. You wait and see Stephanie. We'll be ok now. You'll be ok. I promise you, with everything I am, I will always take care of you and this baby."
That had to have been the longest speech Tanks had ever said in front of me. And the most beautiful too. This time I willingly let the tears flow from my eyes. This time though, just like Tanks, they were tears of joy.
"I will too," Lester said from behind me.
Surprised I looked up and saw what had to have been all of the Merry Men standing around the parking garage, looking at me with love and affection.
"We all will," Bobby added with a giant smile.
A chorus of "Yeah", "Always", "You can count on us", and "Definitely" flowed out to me.
"Come on Tank. You had your turn. Give the rest of us ours," someone from the back called out.
"Tank always did suck at sharing." That definitely came from Hal.
Tank started laughing along with everyone else and soon I started laughing too. I can't even remember the last time I laughed. It felt amazing.
Gently Tank put me back on my own feet, but no sooner had my shoes touched the ground was I swept up into Lester's arms. "I can always count on you to turn a bad day good Beautiful." He smiled at me, but it was quickly replaced by a serious expressions. "I meant it Stephanie. I'll be here whenever you need help. You and Ranger have done so much for me. It's about time I start to pay you back."
Confused I asked, "Ranger I get, but what I done for you?"
Pulling me back into his arms with my head underneath his chin, he whispered "Everything, Beautiful. You've done everything."
I didn't have any time to think about that because Lester gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and passed me off to Bobby.
"Congratulations, Angel." His smile was infectious.
I smiled back but threw in an eye roll too. "Thank you Bobby, but you know I'm no Angel. How many times do I need to tell you that?"
"You're wrong, Steph. You just proved you are an Angel," he said as he placed a hand on my still somewhat flat stomach.
Next was Cal, then Ram, then Woody, and so on and so on until I was hugged and congratulated by all the Merry Men around.
They were my co-workers, my friends, my family.
"Now that you told us, you've got to tell yours and Ranger family." Lester said with a sly smile on his face.
Everyone broke out into laughs from the look on my face.
My tormentors, I added to the list.