A/N: So, as I said in the author's note for Running Scared, I have a lot of feelings about the season finale. And the best way for me to get them out? In fic, of course. It's probably very unwise me starting this but seriously, I just could not resist.

Anyway, this is set post-4x24 and as a consequence, there's spoilers afoot. If you haven't seen it, please do not read! I don't want to be held responsible for ruining anyone's enjoyment of the finale!

x tromana

Title: Red Letter Days
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Jane/Lisbon, Team
Summary: There had to be rhyme or reason for what was currently happening. It was their jobs to find out how. And why. And if they'll ever get that little bit closer to Red John. And try and get through it all alive, of course...
Spoilers: All of season four, and especially the season finale, The Crimson Hat.
Disclaimer: Very much not mine. Just playing in the sandbox...
Notes: Dedicated to Miss Peg, my eternal muse, and Divinia Serit, the best twin a girl could ever wish for. This fic is vaguely inspired by a piece of artwork submitted by Miss Peg for the Mentalist Reverse Big Bang over on LiveJournal. However, it isn't actually being written for the Big Bang. It just needed to said, is all.

Red Letter Days

Part One

"So, about Lorelei..."

Jane paused for a second; the teaspoon remained stationary in his teacup as he regarded Lisbon seriously. He'd been expecting this interrogation for a while. For a good month or so, he'd successfully managed to avoid it. Some days, she'd seemed desperate to talk about it, but on other occasions, she had simply withdrawn back into her shell. Now, it seemed like she was beginning to drive herself insane with thoughts and theorization. She needed answers and only he was able to give them to her. He sighed; there was only so many times he could avoid it without her growing too irritated now. Already, he was beginning to push his luck. Then again, he knew that Lisbon would claim he pushed his luck on a daily basis.

Carefully, he placed the spoon on the saucer and lifted the cup for a cautionary sip.

"You want to talk about this here? Really?" he answered eventually.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Fine, my office then."

He grinned, replaced his cup on the saucer to pick up the whole thing. Then, he took Lisbon by the elbow and guided her towards the office. They ignored the concerned look of Van Pelt from the bullpen, brushed aside Rigsby with a quick 'later' and eventually, made it there unscathed. Though the team had always been close, since his absence, they had grown even more protective of one another. Especially of Lisbon, which was to be expected, given the fact she had quite obviously been hurt the most. He knew he had a long way to go to earn their trust once more, but the fact still stung.

As he put his tea down on the table, Jane kept his eyes firmly on Lisbon. Instead of sitting behind her desk as she usually would, she perched herself on her couch. Clearly, she wanted this little chat to be a touch less formal than usual. Fine, he told himself, he could deal with that. However, that didn't stop him from going around and closing the blinds to offer them a little more privacy. He didn't suspect any of the others would attempt to see what was happening – they respected Lisbon far too much for that – but it made him feel better, if nothing else.

"We can't hold her for much longer," she stated as soon as he settled on the couch beside her.

Straight for the jugular, he mused. Though he knew they were getting close to the deadline, they'd asked the courts to extend their time for questioning Lorelei on multiple occasions; this wasn't the exact conversation he'd been expecting. Jane knew Lisbon was itching to know just how close he'd been to Lorelei. Every time the woman spoke, Lisbon took her assertions with a pinch of salt. What really mattered was hisopinions.

"Excepting obstruction, we can't actually pin any crime on her and she's still refusing to speak," Lisbon elaborated carefully.

Jane nodded and remained mute. He knew all this. They all did. Lorelei was meant to be their greatest lead to Red John thus far and yet, so far, she refused to discuss anything more serious than the weather with them. It was frustrating, more than anything else. Jane had honestly believed that he had lured her in as she'd tried to play mind games with him. Instead, she was proving to be a more stubborn soul than he'd initially imagined.

Rather like a certain somebody else that he knew. In fact, Lorelei and Lisbon were remarkably similar in some ways, though both of them would vehemently deny it. It just seemed like Lorelei had chosen to be Red John's girl whereas Lisbon had taken a far more honorable route in life. However, they were certainly both strong women, capable of great things, with that delicious sense of vulnerability. There was no denying that.

"And?" he eventually asked long after Lisbon had fallen silent.

"Her life is at risk. We can't actually let her go, because..."

She had no need to finish that sentence. Jane remembered all too clearly the two times that they had previously spoken to Red John's allies. The moment they'd cut Renfrew loose, he had been brutally murdered by Red John in Tijuana, Mexico, along with his hooker. And as for Sam Bosco's once secretary, Rebecca? She had died before she'd even hit the holding cells. The perpetrator had immediately disappeared into the ether, too. All they could do was presume that the security guard responsible had been working for Red John had infiltrated them purely for that mission, hiding in plain sight ready for the moment to strike. Despite relentless questioning of the other guards, nobody seemed to have remembered who he was, when he'd joined the CBI, or when he'd left. It hurt, knowing an underling of Red John's had been killed so swiftly on CBI soil, and that somebody else had managed to disappear without a trace. It also posed an interesting question: why had Lorelei survived for so long in their care? Did Red John have informants that knew she had remained stubbornly mute on that specific subject matter?

And even then, why was Red John running the risk of her talking at all? She had every opportunity to sing like a lark and Jane had already tried many of the tricks in his arsenal in order to crack this very specific code. The fact that he had, thus far, been unsuccessful, didn't matter. There had still been that risk attached to it, to her.

"I assume you're suggesting witness protection?"

"What and let her head straight back to Red John the moment our backs are turned? I don't think so," Lisbon answered with a haughty air.

"A safe house, then," Jane replied, waving a hand to dismiss the differences between safe houses and witness protection. Lisbon nodded in response. "You think we still have the chance to break her in a safe house?"

"I don't know, maybe? And anyway, I thought you..."

Jane took a deep intake of breath. Now, she had finally gotten to the crux of the matter. This was what she really wanted to talk about, he could tell. Lisbon had simply used moving Lorelei on as an excuse to bring up the subject matter as subtly as possible. Of course, it wasn't a particularly subtle move, but he wasn't about to tell her that. He'd done enough damage to her lately as it was.

"You thought I what?"

"Cared about her, at least, I don't know," she said, trailing off quickly.

"You're not jealous, are you?" he deflected.

"Do I even have any right to be?" Lisbon countered.

Jane shrugged. Though he'd denied it, he had remembered the exact words he'd said to Lisbon prior to staging her shooting. He still didn't know why his tongue had loosened at that specific moment in time, however. Usually he was able to keep a very tight lid on his emotions, but it had slipped out in the heat of the moment.

And Lisbon knew what he'd said too. Almost every day since, she had looked at him with a very specific expression. One laced with a certain layer of hope that he'd maybe, just maybe, expand on it. Address the situation for a second time. Instead, he'd chosen to file it away for future reference. Things were just far too messy for that right now.

Besides, it still wasn't over yet. There was so much more they had to deal with before they could even consider thinking about how they felt about one another.

"You're right," he eventually acknowledged. "I do care for her."

"Why?" Lisbon asked, curious.

"Because deep down, she's a good person," Jane justified.

"How so? "

"I thought you'd have been able to work that one out for yourself."

"Jane..."

"Don't say it," he said quickly.

"Say what? "

"That I'm playing mind games with you. "

"Then what the hell are you doing?" she snapped, unable to take anymore. "What the hell have you been doing to me for nearly a year now?"

She paused for breath and Jane opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly cut him off.

"You're impossible, Patrick Jane."

At that, Jane stood up, grabbed his cup of tea and swiftly vacated Lisbon's office. She'd told him as much as he needed to know and besides, this conversation hadn't made the changes in their relationship any easier to deal with. Jane was more than aware of just how much he owed her. Most of the time, he'd considered it inconceivable that he'd ever be able to pay her back. Even before the latest problems he'd caused her, he'd owed her. Lisbon's latest act of goodwill had been to somehow persuade the courts that it would be a good idea that he paid off his debts to society by working for the CBI. Goodness knew how she did it; she probably cashed in a few favors of her own. And besides, Bertram seemed relieved to have him back, even at the expense of Luther Wainwright.

Wainwright. Though the man had been next to useless as a boss, but Jane had been saddened at his death. Nobody had deserved to die the way he'd done. It still hadn't been confirmed whether or not he had been dead in the back of the car, or had been shot dead in the FBI shooting. Regardless, it hadn't been Jane's choice to use him as a pawn in whatever games Red John was playing. No, that had been the decision of the serial killer himself, of potentially his mystery FBI informant. If he'd had any say, the CBI and its employees would have been kept well out of it.

Darcy was still working the case as far as he knew; however, she seemed too obvious a choice. She'd ingratiated herself within the CBI - and charmed Wainwright - Jane knew that. But to have a mole hiding in plain sight again? He just wasn't sure. For a start, it just seemed a little too obvious. Also, Darcy seemed like a far too committed cop to even consider working for a serial killer. Besides, Red John had already been there and done that. He liked the element of surprise and having Susan Darcy in his employ just wouldn't have had the same effect. If only he'd had the opportunity to meet the rest of her team, to psychoanalyze them. Maybe then, he would feel more certain about it all.

"Jane?" Van Pelt said as he meandered towards his trusty couch. "You okay?"

He nodded and she seemed satisfied with his answer. That was a baby step in the right direction, at least. It was the first time any of them had shown him that they did actually still care about him on one level or another. Van Pelt was still the most open about her irritation towards Jane, though it was still something all three of Lisbon's subordinates were in agreement of. He had a long way to go to earn their forgiveness, but he was willing to give it a good try. One day, he'd be able to get back in their good books. In the meantime, he'd have to make do with the fact they were only helping him out 'for the boss'.

xxx

Lisbon frowned as she watched Jane saunter out of her office. It always seemed to go this way; every time she tried to touch upon whatever feelings he had for Lorelei, he clammed up and somehow tried to disappear. Usually, he just walked away and left her feeling confused and yet again, hurt. Sometimes, she thought she should stop being so sensitive around him; but then again, she had been on edge ever since he'd first disappeared. Even since he'd returned back into her life, the feeling of dread hadn't really gone away. If only he had trusted her; when had she shown that she was incapable of keeping his secrets? It was he who had always been the unreliable one out of the pair of them.

She knew she could have followed him back into the bullpen, persisted in the conversation, but she simply didn't have the energy to do so, not any more. Eventually, he would open up to her. Or so she hoped. And if he didn't, then she wasn't sure whether or not she truly wanted to know what he thought of Red John's latest ally to cross paths with them. After all, it seemed like he was so scared of hurting her even more by simply telling her about Lorelei.

With a sigh, she dragged forward the copious notes she had gathered during her conversations with the woman in question. There was nothing there of interest, she knew that already. Lisbon had read through them so many times that she already pretty much knew them word for word. However, that didn't stop her from trying to see if there was anything at all that she had missed. After all, Lorelei was simply human. She could easily have slipped up somewhere along the lines, said something unintentional. And it was her job to pick up on those mistakes.

It didn't take too long for her to grow sick and tired of it, however. This wasn't the only open case they had, though, as far as she was concerned, it remained their most important. If they succeeded in breaking Lorelei, then they would finally have a tangible link to Red John, something that they could really get to grips with. Instead, she dragged out the information on another case; it was something far more mundane, to the extent that Jane had barely bothered to put any input into it. Still, the case needed solving, another murderer needed to be brought to justice. Just because he (or she) hadn't killed as many people as Red John, it didn't mean the family in question didn't deserve answers.

And besides, since losing Jane (and her losing her own focus as a result), they needed to rebuild their closed case record. It had taken a hit as her health had deteriorated due to sheer worry; Lisbon had stopped pushing her team and instead, had focused on trying to find Jane rather than do her job. And when she had been working on cases, she hadn't seemed to be able to see things that had been simply obvious in the past. But now, they were back together again, a team once more, and she wanted to get back the personal pride and respect from her peers that she'd slowly shed. Yes, closing Red John would have been a big deal, but whatever Lorelei knew and was refusing to tell wouldn't necessarily close the case. And even if it did, right now, Lisbon was more than happy to take any win that came her way. Anything just to reinstate some of the confidence she had lost in herself and her team.

Anything to show Bertram that they were still capable of the job and that they still deserved to work the Red John case.

If they lost it, then she dreaded to imagine what Red John (or Jane) would do this time around. Last time it had happened, it had cost her the life of one of her closest friends. Somebody she had respected and admired for a good long while. Somebody she had cared about ever so deeply.

Lisbon placed her head in her hands as she tried to clear her thoughts. Thinking about Bosco and Red John wasn't helping; it was just reopening old wounds. Instead, she really had to work and besides, Rigsby had handed her some very useful information on the other case. It wasn't ground-breaking, but it did move things ever so slightly further forward, if nothing else.

Just as she was about to start working, her phone rang shrilly. Grumbling, Lisbon took hold of the receiver and answered it abruptly. As the security guard from the holding cells explained the situation, a frown knotted between her eyebrows. Lisbon hadn't expected that, at all. With a sigh, she stood. She needed to talk to Jane about this. After all, the call had been pretty much all about him anyway.

It didn't take her long to find him. As soon as he'd returned to the CBI, he had immediately taken to lying on his couch once more, instead of using the perfectly functional desk that the CBI had supplied him with for years. He looked quiet, peaceful and none of the others had taken to disturbing him either. Then again, Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho generally avoided having much to do with him at all. On occasion, they'd even bluntly refused to work with him alone and she couldn't blame them either. She wasn't the only one sporting wounds from Jane's supposed breakdown; they all were. Sometimes, it was all too easy for her to forget that small detail.

"Yes, Lisbon?"

She felt uncomfortable and knew there was a look of consternation written across her features. As Jane took a sip from his now-cold cup of tea and grimaced in response, she waited patiently. Lisbon knew she wanted his full attention for the bombshell she was about to drop on his shoulders.

"Lorelei is asking for you," she stated quietly. "She wants a word before she is moved on. "

TBC...