Some people believed that there's love at first sight.
I don't.
The first time I met him was in Elementary School. He's the most carefree kid in class. At first nothing happened. Not a spark. Nothing. We didn't talk much in that time. I was crushing on someone else, if you would call a 1st grader interest in opposite sex is a crush. Seriously, all I know about relationships that time was from soap operas at the television.
In 2nd grade I wasn't in the same class as he was. Again, I didn't acknowledge him that much anyway. I was still crushing on my 1st grade crush. He never crossed my mind. At all.
At 3rd grade I was stucked with him. He grew taller, possibly the tallest in class. He and his friends liked to tease me. I started to hate him. He really annoyed me that time.
We departed at 4th grade. I'm really gratefull of it. My body started to change and it's becoming really awkward with the boys.
Fate reunited us again at 5th grade. He continued teasing me like he was doing on the 3rd grade. I didn't noticed it then, but I realized now that's about the time I started to see his face, you know. He was cute. Real cute. But in that time I was too annoyed to saw past his attitude.
6th grade was the peak of my hate towards him. At first we have this frienemy relationship, with some occational teasing. Then my body really made itself noticed and it's SUPER awkward. I really liked this guy in my class, who's not even that cute if I think about it now, and all he did was ogling at my body. He, however,didn't acknowledge my changes and it made me feel less awkward towards him. But he continued his teasing and it made me real mad at him.
At the end of the 6th grade, I realized I DO have feelings to him beside the occasional hatred. But then it's too late. I've applied to an all-girl school and he applied to a co-ed school. I never thought about him anymore.
At the beginning of Junior High, we've IMed each other and swapped stories about our new schools. After that, our rare conversations, became rarer and rarer and it's gone. Then one day, I saw him during my marching band practice. There he was, smiling at me, looking handsome in his school uniform, waiting for his sister. His sister studied at my school too. Too bad during my practice, I could't to talk anyone who's outside the band. I only gave him a small smile, too afraid that my seniors will caught us and I'll be in big trouble.
I only saw him occasionally when he picked up his sister from school. It's always small smiles and nods that were exchanged between us. Nothing more.
But that's when I realized that I kinda liked him.
It's in the beginning of 8th grade when I saw him again, surprisingly, he was also studying with the same tutor as I was. We talked again, and I saw how much he has changed, he became taller, his voice became more deep, and if it's possible, his face became cuter.
I came to a conclusion that I was having a crush. My crush? Him. Then, the butterflies started to flew when I saw him at the tutor's, or when I saw him after my marching band practice. But, I was too afraid to make a move and it's only little waves, smiles, and nods. Again, nothing more.
As I was becoming more and more obsessed towards him, he started to drew back. I don't know why he did. Was I that obvious? Did he knew I like him so he avoid me because he's not feeling the same? He changed his facebook settings so I can't see his wall. It made me very frustrated and sad. Also ashamed. Why? Because if he knew, I can't face him anymore. I was too embarrassed if he knew the truth.
Today is his birthday and how I wish I could wish him a happy birthday, because even if he blocked me from Facebook, I can still wish him a happy birthday via twitter. But I was afraid, what if he thought I was some kind of stalker who can't get a hint. I was really dying inside. I'm in a dilemma.
So now, here I am, sitting in front of the computer, writing a crazy letter. Oh how I wish that he knew I love him.
Anyway, I'll just write it here.
"Happy Birthday Edward Anthony Masen. Have a great one!
Ps: I love You"