this is my legacy
(thank u to raz & kat for co-authoring)
this fic can also be found on ao3 under user club27, and on wattpad under user biggaysayyuh :)
Lightning massaged his neck. The adrenaline and stress from his previous races were taking a toll on his well-being, meaning that he'd have to recharge. Lightning never particularly enjoyed times where he needed to be relaxed and stay in place since he had always been accustomed to constantly doing something with himself. Sally caressed Lightning's hand; he hadn't noticed that he had been twiddling his thumbs again. Lightning removed his hand from her grasp, deciding to instead bring his focus back to his thoughts.
Lately things had been especially stressful what with Doc's death and the increasing popularity of Radiator Springs due to it being deemed "The Home of Lightning McQueen." This vacation to Italy was supposed to be pure relaxation, just him and Sally. They rarely ever had time for just each other in between their busy schedules. Sally had to tend to the Cozy Cone and it's guests back in Radiator Springs, and he was always practicing or away for racing and other celebrity endeavors. It put so much strain on their relationship that sometimes, Lightning was surprised they were still together.
However, the vacation to Italy hadn't gone as great as they'd intended it to be because Lightning couldn't shake off the mindset of working hard, always. He had the need to work, to race; he couldn't sit there and just do nothing for an entire week. It was nice, though, to just spend time with Sally. Plus, Italy was damn gorgeous and could also be his big break. It did allow him to clear his head a little bit, but it wasn't enough.
He sometimes tried to just slow down, but nothing helped. Sally could be grounding at times, yes, but even her reassurance wasn't enough when he got into these moods. It was just a miserable, immutable truth that his brain was not able to shut off and relax itself easily. Slowing down and slowing down were two different things for Lightning. He was able to slow down and enjoy himself in Radiator Springs with his friends, but he was never able to slow down. His mind never truly stopped bouncing from one thing to the next, even if he was enjoying himself.
So, Sally had suggested they go to a bar to lighten the mood and take his mind off of the troubles back home.
"You have to loosen up " Sally expressed with great concern. She looked away from Lightning's eyes then continued, "If you won't do it for yourself — do so for me.."
Lightning sighed and dropped his hands, not that he was any less tense. In fact, he was more stressed than before. He knew that he should just calm down, but the immutable truth was that his brain didn't have a shut off option, that he couldn't just loosen up. Sally just didn't understand. She made things sound so easy, so black and white, but that was far from the truth. Lightning rubbed his eyes and decided to order a drink to get his and Sally's spirit up.
The ambience was somewhat mellow, reminding him of typical Radiator Springs summer nights when everyone was lazing around and relaxing. The fluorescent lights made him want to drift off again, but he rejected the idea knowing that a moment like this with Sally wouldn't occur for a while after the trip was over. Sally had a life outside of him, and Lightning had a life outside of her. They had to make every moment together count.
Lightning's drink arrived swiftly, the coolness of the rum temporarily making him forget what he was so tense about. It was only after Sally squeezed his hand and the alcohol heated up his throat that his mind drifted back to racing, and he ordered another drink.
"You know, when I said loosen up, I didn't mean get drunk out of your mind," Sally said, only half-joking.
Lightning raised his eyebrows and nodded. He didn't feel like speaking — he felt like his words would only slur or become incoherent with him downing each drink at an almost inhuman pace. Lightning could feel the alcohol gradually kicking in, yet it wasn't enough to ignore his worries, and so he ordered another drink, each one seemingly becoming stronger than the previous.
Lightning's vision became blurred and with it Sally's image. Lightning struggled to stand up after drinking so impulsively. Once stable, Lightning examined the bar; the discordant noise of seemingly hundreds of voices enveloped him, and it made his ears ring. He needed something to sooth them. That's when he spotted the jukebox across the room. Lightning was up for any kind of distraction, and music had always been one of his favorites. Lightning's slim fingers pushed the euro coins in and picked one of the random Italian titles.
"Sally," he said over the blaring music, some electronic song in Italian that he'd never heard before, "Let's go dance." She took his outstretched hand, allowing Lightning to lead them onto the dance floor, weaving through the crowd of moving bodies. Music and dancing had always been a nice release, but he never got the chance to do it without making a fool of himself in front of the flashing cameras of paparazzi.
It felt nice to let loose and move with the beat. He was laughing now, laughing at something he wasn't sure of. Maybe it was because Sally looked a bit stupid dancing when she was drunk, or maybe the alcohol was getting to him, but it felt good. As much as he appreciated Sally, he had to admit that there were times when the solution was not her. Despite her calming nature, he needed a barrier between him and her to feel comfortable; tonight, that barrier were uncountable shots of rum and foreign music. Sally came to an abrupt stop and, breathing heavily, she pulled Lightning to the side, tired from all the dancing. "Let's take a quick break, Lightning."
Lightning pulled back. He was riding a high, and he didn't want to lose it by just sitting around, even for just a minute. "I'm alright. When you're ready, you can find me on the dance floor." He then retreated from Sally, not looking back as her fuzzy image became more distant.
The song merged into a slower one, the crowd dispersing as the adrenaline wore off from the previous songs. Lightning felt himself bump into a warm, built body, apologizing profusely and turning around. He came somewhat face-to-face with a stranger with a tan complexion dressed in a white button down shirt. The man's eyes were covered by dark tinted sunglasses - the kind an asshole rich person would wear. "Watch it, piccolo," he grinned. "You don't want to bump into anymore strangers."
His Italian accent worked well with his somewhat deep, grumbling voice, making Lightning flush a bit. He glared at the stranger, glaring even harder when he realized he had to lift his chin the tiniest bit to make direct eye contact. Or, what he was hoping was direct eye contact - it was hard to tell with the sunglasses.
Lightning noticed his hand still hovering above the man's shirt and quickly, but as casually as he could, plastered his hand to his side. The material of the shirt had been soft, smooth silk. Wow, he really was a rich asshole. He kept his eyes locked with the man's for a few more moments, wanting the other to be the one to look away first, but with the man making it quite clear he would not back down, Lightning finally conceded, and through gritted teeth, said, "No, I guess I don't."
The man looked quite pleased with himself, if his smirk and slightly cocked eyebrow were any indication. He was about to walk into the sea of people, tinted glasses and all, but Lightning, possibly being controlled by the liquor in his system, called out to him just before he had fully turned around, "Wait-"
Pausing, he turned back around, facing Lightning and staring down at him. "We don't have to be strangers. Dance with me?" asked Lightning hopefully. The adrenaline was fading from his system, but he wasn't ready to let go of the euphoria he felt. He hadn't felt anything like this in so long, not since his earlier racing days. This stranger had induced a high within him, intoxicating him further.
The man appeared to be a bit skeptical, seemingly eyeing him down from behind the glasses. "The name's Monty," he added abruptly, hoping to elicit some kind of reaction from the man.
The other, in a tone that sounded as if he were almost humoring Lightning, replied, "Nice to meet you, Monty." Lightning's name, though he hated it, sounded a little less loathsome, rolling from the man's tongue so smoothly. In fact, it almost sounded sweet. However, Lightning refused to focus on it for more than a fleeting second.
"It seems like you're not going to tell me yours?" Lightning asked, almost teasing, pushing the stranger to speak.
The mystery man smiled and waved off the comment. "I am F-" the man paused, dried even, and his smug grin flickered for just a second before he continued "-Fernando…Bregoli…" With the alcohol clouding his brain, Lightning didn't even notice the split second in which Fernando's facade had fallen.
"Fernando Bregoli?" Lightning scoffed, smiling teasingly. "How unlucky do you have to be to have a last name so close to broccoli?" Fernando furrowed his brows, his flirtatious smile falling, replaced by a tight frown.
"As if you could say much, Monty," he laughed, the cocky grin returning to his face instantly. "My name may be a bit terrible, but at least I'm not short as well, piccolo."
Lightning began to splutter in a short burst of anger. It's not like Monty was that bad of a name, and he wasn't even that small! Fernando had to be barely three inches taller than him, at the most. Though it was odd - Lightning had never met anyone, save maybe Sally, who could keep up with his quick comments amd snarky remarks. If he hadn't been so indignant, he might've admired him.
"I'm still willing to dance if your offer still stands," Fernando said with a laugh.
"Oh, um, yeah. Of course," Lightning replied, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment. Luckily the lights were so dim, it was only noticeable to himself. Lightning reached out to grab Fernando's hand. If only to add insult to injury, Lightning was well aware of how small his hand appeared to be when holding Fernando's. Fernando noticed as well, letting out a small chuckle and a string of Italian, more to himself than to Lightning. If it had not been for the multiple shots of rum flowing through his veins, he might have called it quits right then and flown back to Radiator Springs.
The fast-paced music of earlier had shifted to something softer, something more romantic. Although Lightning didn't understand a single word of the Italian lyrics, he could still grasp the deep meaning of the song. While most love songs pointed his mind towards the thought of Sally, he could not bring himself to think of her in this moment. The thought of her completely escaped his mind.
In a sober state, he would never be caught dead swaying with a stranger, much less a male stranger, to a love song in a bar, but here he was. The warmth of Fernando's body was comforting and much appreciated, despite the fact that moments ago his body was burning up with exhilaration.
They stuck close together for a few more moments, until Fernando withdrew from his grasp and leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Why don't we step outside?"
Lightning hesitated, but a thrilling jolt of excitement rushed through him, so he acted on the impulse and followed his lead, the jingle of the bells remaining as they closed the door behind them into the luminous balcony, which sported a stunning view. Lightning briefly studied the scene before him. Mediterranean style architecture was dotted across the rocky, green cliffside. The sun was setting, painting the sky a pretty gradient with soft clouds and bathing the landscape in warm light.
Lightning closed his eyes and slightly leaned on Fernando's comfortable shoulder. The crashing of the ocean waves made him feel at peace, especially since he was next to Fernando. It was a thrilling, yet strange new feeling for him. He didn't quite know Fernando at all, yet he was drawn to him. They had only met a mere ten minutes ago yet he felt like he knew him forever.
Lightning felt the urge to inch closer to Fernando. He desperately wanted to rip the stupid sunglasses of of his face and study the true color of his eyes. Fernando glanced down to meet Lightning's intense stare, the swirl of blue hues in his eyes reflected the ocean below. Even though Fernando was a cocky, rich asshole with a face half covered by sunglasses, he was absolutely beautiful, and Lightning could sit and stare at him forever.
"Take a picture - it'll last longer," snorted Fernando, noticing Lightning's gaze. Scoffing, Lightning looked back out to the panorama of Porto Corsa. However, almost instinctually, his eyes wandered back to Fernando's face, studying his features once again.
Slowly, eyes traveled down to his lips. The fact that he had a girlfriend, who was less than a few hundred feet away from him, didn't even occur to him as he began to lean in. His heartbeat elevated each time he inched closer to his lips, not sure whether Fernando would reciprocate. His eyes fluttered shut as he met Fernando's lips. They were soft, softer and fuller than Sally's, moving against his flawlessly. There was a strange feeling in his stomach, one he had once felt with Sally, but even stronger. Lightning's heart dropped, a wave of guilt crashed over him as he remembered her.
What in the world was he doing? He has a girlfriend, a girlfriend that he loves. Breaking apart from the kiss, Lightning pushed Fernando away with his hand, slipping past him. As he burst through the doors, ignoring Fernando's confused call, he searched for Sally. Upon spotting her, he saw that Sally was listlessly holding a drink, alone on the dance floor. She looked up with a benevolent smile, clearly fake, but it went unnoticed in Lightning's drunken state.
Lightning pushed his way through the blurred faces, making his way to the side of his girlfriend like he always should have been. Lightning rubbed the nape of his neck, a subconscious nervous tick he had picked up at some point; he felt slightly deranged and confused about the intimate moment he had shared with Fernando. Sally slumped her shoulders as she said, "I didn't think I was gone that long - must've missed ya in here since it's slightly crowded and all."
"Y-yeah, I guess so." Lightning stuttered. His heart was racing and every part of his body was back to being tense and worked up. He wished he could go back in time and prevent the calamity of Fernando, so he could go back to playing the role of a good boyfriend. Never had he thought of himself as a cheater, but now he was one - and it felt terrible.
Deep down he knew Sally deserved better; he wasn't the great Lightning McQueen everyone thought he was. Lighting really wanted to be that dependable guy for her, but how could he when he couldn't bring himself to come to terms with what could be the end of his and Sally's relationship? There was a sense of longing to go back to the balcony, but he resisted the urge. The workload strained his relationship with Sally, yet the only person he felt he could truly blame was himself.
Lightning squeezed Sally's hand, afraid that letting go of it meant the downfall of what could've been. Lightning couldn't bare to look into her eyes. The glimmer in them had faltered; they were now only dull and ordinary to him. "Sally…Do you love me?" Lightning hesitantly asked. His question stayed in the uncomfortable silence momentarily. Not long after, she responded, "Of course I love you Lightning, who doesn't?"
In the past, the way Sally spoke may have bothered him and shattered his heart, but now there was a feeling of emptiness and apathy. He loved Sally, of course he did, but it wasn't the same as it had been when they first met. That initial spark had been slowly dying ever since it had been first lit, and he felt as if as they had drifted apart. Sometimes he doubted his love - was he in love with her, or did he just love her?
Sally looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Well, do you love me too?" It was a demanding question disguised in a teasing tone.
"I-" He hesitated for a split second "- I love you too. You should know by now." Sally didn't seem to notice the falter in his voice, and if she did, she didn't mention it. Lightning drunkenly slung his arm over her shoulder, trying to keep the act up. Maybe if he tried hard enough to act like everything was all good and fine, then they would end up like that.
For a split second, he could've sworn he saw Fernando watching him from across the room; he shook it off. From this day on, he was going to make this trip worth it, and make things work with Sally as well. Mulling over the problems he had was doing him no good. Sally lightheartedly punched him in the arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Well, you seem to be in a better mood, yeah? Why don't we continue dancing?" She grinned, grabbing a hold of his hand. Truth be told, he was much worse off than what he had initially felt upon their arrival to the bar, but to make Sally happy, he nodded and put on his best grin. Even if he wasn't feeling up to it, he would make an effort at the very least.
Tonight would be a single bump in the road. Then and there he made a promise to himself, and to Sally, that he would try harder to commit to what they had and be a better boyfriend to her - and, of course, to not get distracted by beautiful strangers.