TITLE: Always a Bridesmaid
AUTHOR: Pilla Jeffrey
CATEGORY: Angst
PAIRING: Clark/Lois, Chloe/Jimmy, Lana/Pete, one-sided Chloe/Clark and Clark/Lana
SPOILERS: Have you seen the show?
SEASON / SEQUEL: futurefic
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: mild language
SUMMARY: Chloe Sullivan is always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: anywhere else, ask.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Smallville. All original characters and ideas are mine, though, so don't archive without my permission!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm a big Chlois-er (it calms my great angst about Chloe's future), but this idea just rolled into my head. Sometimes the angst rules against the happy ending.
"Oh God, I'm such a mess!" huffed Lois, smoothing her dress in front of the full-length mirror.
Chloe laughed, pulling out the train. "Oh, Lois Lane, drama queen."
"Hey." Lois gave her a steely glare. "First of all, in a mere hour, it will be Lois Kent. Second, it's my wedding day. I can be as much a drama queen as I want." The glare broke out into a huge grin. "Who am I kidding? I'll be lucky if I get out of this in one piece, especially in these heels."
Chloe brought out the veil and proceeded to pin it on top of Lois' dark curls. It was hard with Lois fidgeting, but she finally was able to get it on straight. "There!" she sighed triumphantly. She hugged Lois tightly around her shoulders, looking at the reflection of the two of them in the mirror. Lois was a vision in creamy white satin. The dress was simple but beautiful with a long train and a lace-accented bodice. Briefly, Chloe thought that Lois looked reminiscent of Lana from her first wedding, but she knew better than to say that thought aloud.
"You're beautiful, Lois Kent," Chloe said and she was amazed how sincere she was.
"Thanks, Chloe," Lois responded, although it was evident she was still a little frazzled. "Wanna do me a huge favor?"
"As the maid of honor, I feel a distinct responsibility to obey your every wish," Chloe said, laughing. "What do you need me to do?"
"Check on Clark for me? He's a bit of a klutz, you know? And the last thing I want is him accidentally stepping on his boutonniere or something."
"Your wish is my command!" Chloe gave a faux-salute and turned on her heel, heading off to make sure her best friend didn't make a total fool of himself.
As Chloe walked to Clark's dressing room, she couldn't help but feel a little stumble in her step. She pushed the hesitance from her walk and kept going.
Everyone was going to be married now. Chloe felt that she took the phrase "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," a step too far. Only in her version, she was always the maid of honor. Maid of honor for Lana's wedding to Lex, maid of honor for Lana's second wedding to Pete, and now maid of honor for Lois' wedding to Clark. It seemed that her maid of honor life seemed to follow her romantic life as she never got the guy who was pining for someone else. She almost found it comical, in a she-was-now-over-30-and-an-unmarried-old-hag way.
Not that she didn't have a say in being unmarried. Jimmy kept proposing on a near-annual basis, despite the fact that she had been declining for over ten years. She loved Jimmy. She did. She had even decided on many an occasion that each year would be the year she would say yes. But every year on their anniversary, the moment he got down on one knee and brought out that absolutely amazing ring that had been passed along through his family for generations, her heart would cry "No!" so loudly that she could barely breathe.
She tried not to think about why she physically was unable to say yes to Jimmy but she always had the sinking feeling that it had to do with Clark.
Clark and Lois had begun dating sometime after the Lois had joined the Daily Planet. Chloe had already become the Assistant Editor for the Features section. It wasn't exactly the same hard-hitting journalism that she was used to as a news reporter, but the pay was better and until an opening was made as a news editor, she would take the promotion in stride. Clark was a still a news reporter and Lois was the hotshot reporter seeking to usurp his crown. Jimmy made the mistake of saying over dinner once how "cute" Lois and Clark were. Chloe had to excuse herself from not only dinner but any and all attempts that Jimmy made at contact for the next week.
Chloe wondered when the two of them fell in love. Chloe felt like a damn fool for thinking all those years that it could have been her. She felt even worse because she was the reason they met. But she knew she had to swallow her pride and unrequited love and just be happy for her best friend and her cousin.
Chloe also thought about whether Clark had told Lois his secret. Perhaps it was less of a secret now that there was a name and costume to the powers: Superman with the tight little spandex number that turned Chloe on in a way that a man in tights just wasn't supposed to do. But Chloe still felt privileged to know. Pete and Lana knew; Jimmy still had no idea despite the amazing incidents that kept occurring under his nose. Lois was bright, but Clark was cautious.
She knocked twice before opening the door lightly and calling out, "Clark Kent, are you decent?"
"Decently at my wit's end," he answered. "Come in. Pete's no use."
Chloe held her breathe, bracing herself to see Clark in a tuxedo. She knew she would melt, but she wouldn't let anyone else see that. When she entered, Clark had his back to her, but the long lines of his body were now drawn in a fitted suit that seemed to hint at every muscle beneath. Chloe realized she had stopped breathing completely and tried to take in a normal breath. Clark turned to face Chloe, a large but anxious smile on his gorgeous face. "Oh, God, Chloe, what was I thinking?"
"Are we back on the glasses again? Because I think they make you look distinguished," she joked, pushing the black-rimmed glasses further up his nose.
Pete rolled his eyes. "Clark Kent is being high-maintenance. Quite frankly, he's worse than Lana and she woke up at six in the morning to get ready for this thing and it's not even her wedding."
Chloe was amazed that Clark did not have one hint of jealousy in his eyes when Pete mentioned the love of Clark's adolescent life. Chloe wondered carefully if her obsession with Clark was some refusal to grow up or some pathetic hope for what would never surface. If Clark could get over Lana, why couldn't Chloe get over Clark?
"You look beautiful, by the way," Clark said to Chloe, kissing her cheek. Chloe felt the familiar fire run through her. Oh yes. That was why.
"I can't believe I'm getting married," Clark said, seemingly to himself but obviously open to comments.
"Chloe's the only one left," Pete said, embracing her. "When's Jimmy going to make an honest woman out of you? How long have the two of you been together now?"
"Twelve years. Thirteen next month."
"Jeez, girl. You need a ring on that finger." Trust Pete to say the most ridiculously appropriate and yet unabashedly obvious thing.
Chloe lightly smacked him. "Thank you, Mr. Ross. I'll keep that in mind."
"Chloe can take all the time she needs. At this moment, I almost wish I'd waited a bit longer. I'm not quite ready for this, am I? No. Wait. I am. I'm ready. Right?" Clark looked at himself awkwardly in the mirror.
Chloe laughed a little and then walked up next to Clark, entwining her hand around the curve of his arm, patting it lightly in support. Chloe caught a glance of their reflections in the mirror. Lois had chosen off-white (ivory, to be exact) bridesmaid dresses that came down just past the knee. And for a moment, with Chloe's hand resting comfortably around Clark's arm, it almost seemed like they were the happy couple to be married.
Chloe banished the thoughts from her mind and tried to find something non-incriminating to say. " Clark Kent, Lois Lane is the luckiest woman on earth. And I have no doubt that for the same reason, you're the luckiest man."
Clark kissed Chloe on the cheek again. "You're always right, Chloe."
She smiled her forced smile. "I try to be."
"Okay," Clark said, looking himself over once more in the mirror. "I need to go get some fresh air. I'll be back in a second, okay?"
"While you're out, do you want to check on Lana for me?" Pete said. "She was supposed to be here an hour ago."
Clark nodded and then sped out quickly, leaving a burst of air behind.
Pete took Chloe's hands in his. "You still love him, don't you?" he asked quietly.
Chloe thought that she would just deny it, but she didn't feel like lying anymore. "You can't tell him. As far as he knows, I gave up on him years ago."
"I would never tell him. But maybe this is a good thing. You'll finally get over him."
Chloe sniffled. "I hope so. God, I've been hoping so."
Clark re-entered. "Took a brief jog around Metropolis. Lana's running a bit late, Pete. She says that she screwed up her hair and needs to redo it."
"Like hell she'll redo it," Pete said. "I'll be right back."
Clark turned to Chloe. "So I have a confession."
"What?" Chloe said. "Have you grown a tail? Developed telekinesis?"
He shook his head at her. "I still don't know how to put one of these on"—he pulled out his boutonniere—"so can you help me?"
She took the white rose into her hands and got on her tip-toes to properly angle it on his lapel. A sudden surge of memory and feeling washed over her. Suddenly she was fifteen again, pinning a similar white rose onto her best friend and date for their spring formal. She was amazed, upon looking back onto that moment, that she had believed Clark could actually have had feelings for her. And that moment when he'd left her at the dance had been the first of so many disappointments and heartaches.
"Thanks." Clark checked it in the mirror. "Perfect. At least Lois won't be upset about my physical appearance. God knows she's not happy about the flower arrangement."
Chloe had to admit that if her florist had delivered lilies instead of roses she would also be slightly livid.
"It will be a beautiful wedding, Clark. Don't worry about it."
"I know, I know," he said. "I just want everything to be perfect. For once, you know, I want everything to be normal."
" Clark, I'm in chiffon. That's about as painstakingly normal as it comes." Actually, the very moment that they were involved in was about as painstakingly normal as it came. Two best friends talking. No mutants. No Lex. Just an unspoken bond.
Clark took Chloe's hand in his. "This is the moment," he whispered, tightening his grip on her hand. "I'm finally here. We're finally here."
" Mr. Lois Lane. Good luck living with that one."
"You lived with it for a while. Well, without the Mr."
Chloe briefly remembered her turn as Lois Lane, star reporter. She had even considered keeping the pen name permanently—really, why be Chloe Sullivan when you could be Lois Lane?—until Lois decided her true purpose was journalism and wanted her own name back.
"It's a good name. So's Mrs. Clark Kent."
He smiled, drawing their held hands up to his lips and kissing the very tips of her knuckles gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Chloe."
"You mean Perry would have fired you and you'd be on the streets without me," she said.
"Yes. And I wouldn't have the courage to do any of this. Marry Lois. Fly around in a cape. I owe you so much, Chloe. If Lois hadn't called you as Maid of Honor, you'd've been my Best Woman."
"Pete would not have liked that."
"Well, he's got enough on his hands now that Lana's pregnant."
Yes. Lana was going to have a boy. She was actually pregnant this time and glowing with motherly pride. Pete could barely shut up about his big plans for his son: football, Metropolis University, United States Presidency. It was all there, right in Lana's belly.
And suddenly, Chloe felt her own biological clock ticking in her empty stomach. She wanted to be married and be a mom. Her own emotional issues with her childhood aside, she wanted to raise a little person that would grow into a real person.
Clark appeared to sense something going wrong in Chloe's mind and took her in his arms, holding her tight. "Chloe, you know that I love you, right?" The words were subtly explosive. Clark rarely threw the love word around especially after the death of his father and he even rarely threw it in her own direction.
Chloe looked into his eyes. The glasses seemed to diffuse the intensity of his gaze. She pulled them off, closing them and clutching them in her hand. His eyes were almost supernaturally bright now, directing a vision of the purest blue into her soul.
It took every ounce of willpower in her body to resist the urge to kiss him. His face was so close to hers that she could feel her entire being tingle and ache in anticipation.
So she did it. "It's not the end of the world, Clark, but it's the end of an era." The way his eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips was all the invitation that Chloe needed. She ran her hand through his hair and kissed him. She felt the familiar strength course through her, his hand not just resting on her back but pulling her toward him. She felt on fire as his lips moved with hers, a flicker of his tongue tantalizing her lips.
Chloe and Clark had, over the years, shared a number of kisses. Fake kisses under the influence of either getting caught snooping or parasites or red kryptonite and real kisses under stress and panic. But this kiss was something far from all of those other kisses. This kiss was passionate and wild and sincere and driven, but hopelessly anguished all the same. It was their last kiss and their greatest. It was a kiss of goodbye.
When they finally pulled apart, their eyes were linked. His right hand was still strong on her back. Clark brushed a rebel hair out of her eyes with his left and gently caressed her cheek. Chloe couldn't tell if he was asking for forgiveness or asking for an answer. She had the feeling that she couldn't give him either.
A polite knock on the door disrupted their reverie. "Hey, C.K., is Chloe in there?"
Jimmy. Chloe swallowed hard. Reality always did step in. "I'm in here, Jimmy." She could feel Clark's hand leaving her back and she thought a small part of her heart left with it. She handed him his glasses and he put them back on.
Jimmy came in, camera in hand. Clark, the spendthrift that he was, decided that going with Jimmy for free was better than hiring a stranger. Jimmy went over to Chloe and kissed her lightly on the lips in a way that was mere reflex. "I thought I'd get some pre-wedding shots. You down with that, C.K.?"
Clark nodded tersely. He had never warmed to Jimmy's nickname for him.
With Jimmy clicking away, Chloe silently left. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to cry, but she knew she had to. She went out the back entrance of the church and fell onto the steps, letting the tears fall.
She was such a fool. Every time she thought she was out, he pulled her back in.
"Chloe? Chloe, sweetie, what's wrong?"
Chloe looked up. Lana, pregnant in Prada, looked sensational. Lana sat down next to Chloe, holding her close. "It's Clark, isn't it?" she whispered.
Chloe tried to nod but instead began crying even harder. She couldn't stop.
"Shh," Lana soothed, pulling Chloe closer to her. "I know what you're feeling. I love him too." Lana laughed a little. "I think Clark Kent has stolen all the girls from Smallville's hearts. But Pete—Pete is a good man. And I love him dearly. You love Jimmy. Jimmy's a good man, too. After being with Lex, I know you need to treasure the good men."
Lana spoke with such conviction that Chloe was shocked when she felt a warm tear hit the base of her neck. She looked up and saw a few more tears escape Lana's eyes. "The good thing about a wedding," Lana added, breathing deeply and standing up, "is that you can cry all you like and say that they're tears of happiness."
Lana offered Chloe her hand and Chloe took it, standing up beside her. Lana took a handkerchief out of her purse and dabbed at Chloe's eyes. "It's okay to not forget him, Chloe, but you need to embrace the people who are in your life."
Chloe nodded, hugging Lana tightly. "Thank you, Lana."
"We all need a little saving now and again," Lana said.
Over Lana's shoulder, Chloe could see Clark stepping out onto the steps before the altar of the church. It was time.
Brushing any last semblance of sadness from her face, Chloe lit up the best smile that she could. It was Lois' day and it was her responsibility that everything went perfectly.
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