Disclaimer: Oh come on do I really have to do one of these again?! I still
don't own anything, y'know
Harry and Ron were sitting at the kitchen table at The Burrow, Ron with his head against the table, Harry with his chin resting on his hands. Harry had permission to stay with the Weasleys this summer. And now they were bored. Very, very, very, VERY bored.
Harry suddenly got an idea. 'How about making our homework?' 'Done that already.' Ron replied, not lifting his head. Harry sighed. What else was there to do?!
Percy came running off the stairs, tripped and fell. Ron snorted. 'Well, that was amusing.' Harry nodded. Percy got up, dusted off his robes and Dissaperated. Ron sighed, annoyed. 'Great. Now what?!'
Fred and George walked into the house, both with brooms over their shoulders. 'Hey, wanna come and play Quidditch?' Fred (or was it George?) asked. Harry looked at Ron, who didn't look very enthusiastic. 'Nah...' Fred and George went outside again.
Ginny suddenly popped up under the table. Harry smiled at her. 'Thanks, Ginny.' Ron raised an eyebrow, wondering what just happened. Ginny smiled back. 'No problem!' 'I have always problems with finding my contacts back.' She handed him his contact lens, he put it back in his eye. Yes, he has contacts. In this story, that is. Ginny went upstairs. They were bored again.
Not more then a minute later, Lucius Malfoy suddenly popped up out of nowhere. 'What the Hell am I doing here?! This isn't Severus' house...' He disappeared. Ron looked at Harry, who shrugged. 'Better not think about that too much...'
Ron looked around the small room, looking for something to do. Then he saw it. 'Of course! Why didn't I think of it before!' Harry looked at him. 'You got an idea, sir?' Ron smiled wickedly. 'You see that?' He pointed at the fireplace. 'Err, yeah. It's a fireplace.' Ron hit Harry at the back of his head. 'No, twit! The flowerpot!' Harry looked at it. 'Yeah. Floopowder. So?' Ron's smile became wider. 'C'mon.'
Ron picked up the pot and put it on the table. 'Observe.' He took a bit out of the pot, put it on the table and sniffed it. Harry's eyes widened. What the... Ron laughed. 'Oh man, this is great! You should try it too!' Harry blinked a few times, took a bit out of the pot and sniffed it up. 'Whoa!'
They sniffed floopowder until Ron's dad suddenly came in. Ron quickly held the pot under the table, so he couldn't see what they were doing. 'Hi kids!' He said, cheerfully. 'Helloooo, Mr. Wuuu... Weaa... Woeee... sir.' Harry said, grinning. Arthur Weasley looked at him, raising an eyebrow, then shrugging. Perhaps Harry had a bludger to his head.
'Soooo, what cha doing?' He asked. 'Nothing!' Ron replied, a bit too fast. 'Oookaay... say, where's your mum?' Ron and Harry shrugged. 'No idea?' They shook their heads. Arthur sighed and went upstairs.
Ron and Harry both burst into uncontrollable giggles. 'He looked all like, yeaaaah, like, yeah, you know!' Harry said, still laughing. 'Here have some more!' Ron shoved the pot towards him. 'Thanks, mate... You're like, the best guy like, EVAHHH!!' They were in hysterics again.
Suddenly, Ron got an idea, yes, again. He's making progress. 'Let's chase the gnomes!' Harry looked at him like he just invented a glow in the dark cake with a fountain, magic sprinkles in every colour and a singing miniature-Snape on top of it. 'BRIIILLIIIIAAAANTT!!' He yelled, spreading his arms with a huge fucking grin on his face. 'OK, let's go!'
'Heeereee, gnomey, gnomey... Heereeeee gnomey...' Harry yelled, like calling for a cat. (they never come inside when you do that anyway) 'Damn it, where the whoopsedaisies are they!?!' Ron commented, angry. 'Most of the time I trip over the damn gnomes and now they're all gone!'
'Loook!!' Harry pointed at Crookshanks who was eating a gnome. 'Goddamn it, Crookwanks!! We were going to play with those!! What the hell are you doin' here anyway!' Crookshanks looked angry at them and spat the gnome out. 'Yo I ain't gonna take all this bitchin' anymore, yo!' He said, while walking away, insulted.
'Whoaaa... Dude, the cat was, like, TALKING, man!!' Harry said, eyes bulging. 'Whoa... that's some serious shit...' Sirius Black suddenly leaped out of a tree, knocking Ron down. 'I wish everyone would stop insulting my shit!! It isn't funny, you know!!' Sirius bitchslapped Ron, before disappearing. Harry's eyes bulged some more. 'Whoaaaa...'
Ron slowly got to his feet. 'What the whoopsedaises was up with that dude?!' Harry shrugged. 'No idea...' Ron got, yes, you guessed it, another idea. 'Let's look at the porn magazines Percy has in his underwear drawer!!' 'Good idea!'
They walked upstairs, to Percy's room, when suddenly a dog fell out of the sky, crushing poor Ginny. Harry and Ron shrugged and continued their journey. Ron smashed a door open, revealing a perfectly neat and tidy room. 'This is Percy's room!' He announced. 'No shit, I noticed that already.' Harry replied, stating the obvious.
Ron opened a drawer, which was full of neat white Y-fronts as any good boy wears. 'How boring,' Harry commented. 'I have pink thongs and leather bondage stuff...' 'These are hand-me-down underpants anyways.' Ron replied, rummaging trough the drawer.
Finally he pulled out a box. The thing is, this ain't your ordinary box. It was a cardboard box with big naked pictures of Snape, Draco and Lucius only wearing hats and tap dance shoes. 'Dude! Your bro is insane!' Harry yelled while vomiting out of the window. Ron sighed. 'I don't feel like looking at the porn magazines anymore.'
After Harry was done vomiting, he picked up a can which said 'Party in a can'. 'What's this?' 'What does it look like?! It's a Party in a can, stupid!' Ron replied, sounding all Hermione like. 'Cooool...' Harry pulled off the lit and immediately the room was full of random people, loud techno music was playing and Harry could swear he saw Lupin running past him with glowsticks.
'Potter!' A voice yelled behind him. Harry turned around and saw Snape standing there, with a box of chocolate and red roses. 'These are for you, my dear!' Harry could just stare. And stare some more. Then, a sly grin was on his face. He stepped towards Snape, looking seductive. He got closer... and... closer... he was so close he could feel Snape's breath. He got on his toes, moved his head a bit closer until their mouths were as close as possible and-
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHH!!' Harry shot up, screaming and panting. 'HARRY! What's wrong?!!' Ron's voice came from next to him. He looked left and saw Ron, rubbing his eyes, looking alarmed. 'It's... I...just a dream. Sorry to wake you up, mate...' Ron shook his head, mumbled something and turned around to sleep some more.
"Just a dream, nothing more, just a dream..." Harry thought while letting himself fall into the nice warm bed. He stuck his hand under the pillow and felt a sudden sharp pain. "Damn!" He immediately pulled his hand back, looking at the finger where he felt it. It was bleeding. Confused, Harry lifted the pillow and saw a single red rose.
~Mwahaha! So, it became more a romantic... thing than a humour that it was supposed to be. Sue me! Reviews are always welcome, nanana!~
Harry and Ron were sitting at the kitchen table at The Burrow, Ron with his head against the table, Harry with his chin resting on his hands. Harry had permission to stay with the Weasleys this summer. And now they were bored. Very, very, very, VERY bored.
Harry suddenly got an idea. 'How about making our homework?' 'Done that already.' Ron replied, not lifting his head. Harry sighed. What else was there to do?!
Percy came running off the stairs, tripped and fell. Ron snorted. 'Well, that was amusing.' Harry nodded. Percy got up, dusted off his robes and Dissaperated. Ron sighed, annoyed. 'Great. Now what?!'
Fred and George walked into the house, both with brooms over their shoulders. 'Hey, wanna come and play Quidditch?' Fred (or was it George?) asked. Harry looked at Ron, who didn't look very enthusiastic. 'Nah...' Fred and George went outside again.
Ginny suddenly popped up under the table. Harry smiled at her. 'Thanks, Ginny.' Ron raised an eyebrow, wondering what just happened. Ginny smiled back. 'No problem!' 'I have always problems with finding my contacts back.' She handed him his contact lens, he put it back in his eye. Yes, he has contacts. In this story, that is. Ginny went upstairs. They were bored again.
Not more then a minute later, Lucius Malfoy suddenly popped up out of nowhere. 'What the Hell am I doing here?! This isn't Severus' house...' He disappeared. Ron looked at Harry, who shrugged. 'Better not think about that too much...'
Ron looked around the small room, looking for something to do. Then he saw it. 'Of course! Why didn't I think of it before!' Harry looked at him. 'You got an idea, sir?' Ron smiled wickedly. 'You see that?' He pointed at the fireplace. 'Err, yeah. It's a fireplace.' Ron hit Harry at the back of his head. 'No, twit! The flowerpot!' Harry looked at it. 'Yeah. Floopowder. So?' Ron's smile became wider. 'C'mon.'
Ron picked up the pot and put it on the table. 'Observe.' He took a bit out of the pot, put it on the table and sniffed it. Harry's eyes widened. What the... Ron laughed. 'Oh man, this is great! You should try it too!' Harry blinked a few times, took a bit out of the pot and sniffed it up. 'Whoa!'
They sniffed floopowder until Ron's dad suddenly came in. Ron quickly held the pot under the table, so he couldn't see what they were doing. 'Hi kids!' He said, cheerfully. 'Helloooo, Mr. Wuuu... Weaa... Woeee... sir.' Harry said, grinning. Arthur Weasley looked at him, raising an eyebrow, then shrugging. Perhaps Harry had a bludger to his head.
'Soooo, what cha doing?' He asked. 'Nothing!' Ron replied, a bit too fast. 'Oookaay... say, where's your mum?' Ron and Harry shrugged. 'No idea?' They shook their heads. Arthur sighed and went upstairs.
Ron and Harry both burst into uncontrollable giggles. 'He looked all like, yeaaaah, like, yeah, you know!' Harry said, still laughing. 'Here have some more!' Ron shoved the pot towards him. 'Thanks, mate... You're like, the best guy like, EVAHHH!!' They were in hysterics again.
Suddenly, Ron got an idea, yes, again. He's making progress. 'Let's chase the gnomes!' Harry looked at him like he just invented a glow in the dark cake with a fountain, magic sprinkles in every colour and a singing miniature-Snape on top of it. 'BRIIILLIIIIAAAANTT!!' He yelled, spreading his arms with a huge fucking grin on his face. 'OK, let's go!'
'Heeereee, gnomey, gnomey... Heereeeee gnomey...' Harry yelled, like calling for a cat. (they never come inside when you do that anyway) 'Damn it, where the whoopsedaisies are they!?!' Ron commented, angry. 'Most of the time I trip over the damn gnomes and now they're all gone!'
'Loook!!' Harry pointed at Crookshanks who was eating a gnome. 'Goddamn it, Crookwanks!! We were going to play with those!! What the hell are you doin' here anyway!' Crookshanks looked angry at them and spat the gnome out. 'Yo I ain't gonna take all this bitchin' anymore, yo!' He said, while walking away, insulted.
'Whoaaa... Dude, the cat was, like, TALKING, man!!' Harry said, eyes bulging. 'Whoa... that's some serious shit...' Sirius Black suddenly leaped out of a tree, knocking Ron down. 'I wish everyone would stop insulting my shit!! It isn't funny, you know!!' Sirius bitchslapped Ron, before disappearing. Harry's eyes bulged some more. 'Whoaaaa...'
Ron slowly got to his feet. 'What the whoopsedaises was up with that dude?!' Harry shrugged. 'No idea...' Ron got, yes, you guessed it, another idea. 'Let's look at the porn magazines Percy has in his underwear drawer!!' 'Good idea!'
They walked upstairs, to Percy's room, when suddenly a dog fell out of the sky, crushing poor Ginny. Harry and Ron shrugged and continued their journey. Ron smashed a door open, revealing a perfectly neat and tidy room. 'This is Percy's room!' He announced. 'No shit, I noticed that already.' Harry replied, stating the obvious.
Ron opened a drawer, which was full of neat white Y-fronts as any good boy wears. 'How boring,' Harry commented. 'I have pink thongs and leather bondage stuff...' 'These are hand-me-down underpants anyways.' Ron replied, rummaging trough the drawer.
Finally he pulled out a box. The thing is, this ain't your ordinary box. It was a cardboard box with big naked pictures of Snape, Draco and Lucius only wearing hats and tap dance shoes. 'Dude! Your bro is insane!' Harry yelled while vomiting out of the window. Ron sighed. 'I don't feel like looking at the porn magazines anymore.'
After Harry was done vomiting, he picked up a can which said 'Party in a can'. 'What's this?' 'What does it look like?! It's a Party in a can, stupid!' Ron replied, sounding all Hermione like. 'Cooool...' Harry pulled off the lit and immediately the room was full of random people, loud techno music was playing and Harry could swear he saw Lupin running past him with glowsticks.
'Potter!' A voice yelled behind him. Harry turned around and saw Snape standing there, with a box of chocolate and red roses. 'These are for you, my dear!' Harry could just stare. And stare some more. Then, a sly grin was on his face. He stepped towards Snape, looking seductive. He got closer... and... closer... he was so close he could feel Snape's breath. He got on his toes, moved his head a bit closer until their mouths were as close as possible and-
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHH!!' Harry shot up, screaming and panting. 'HARRY! What's wrong?!!' Ron's voice came from next to him. He looked left and saw Ron, rubbing his eyes, looking alarmed. 'It's... I...just a dream. Sorry to wake you up, mate...' Ron shook his head, mumbled something and turned around to sleep some more.
"Just a dream, nothing more, just a dream..." Harry thought while letting himself fall into the nice warm bed. He stuck his hand under the pillow and felt a sudden sharp pain. "Damn!" He immediately pulled his hand back, looking at the finger where he felt it. It was bleeding. Confused, Harry lifted the pillow and saw a single red rose.
~Mwahaha! So, it became more a romantic... thing than a humour that it was supposed to be. Sue me! Reviews are always welcome, nanana!~