*means "my tomorrow" in Japanese*
Dear Yao,
Happy 20th anniversary first of all. I miss you every day I wake up. The feeling of an empty bed hurts my heart every night, but I'm glad to have had you lay beside me. It's been two years, you know, and I'm honestly surprised to see how much my life has changed for the better. I've adopted a little girl three months. She's three years old and her name is Kirei. We're staying in the same house we shared together. Did you know that Francis and Arthur moved out? They've been our neighbors ever since we moved in together eleven years ago. It feels weird to see them go, you know? I remember those days when you yelled at Francis for blasting his music too loud and how Arthur always burned down his house with his cooking. Where does the go, I wonder?
I used to find myself hating everything ever since you left. The monster that took you from me couldn't be beaten and it has taken so many other people over the years. You gave me, my love. You've always told me to keep my head held high and that you'll always be there for me. When you left, I was so angry with everyone; My mother, my father, my friends, myself, and even you. I called you liar for so long. For some reason, I blamed you for leaving me, just as I said in my last letter. I want to apologize for that. This wasn't your fault and I should have known better. It's not as if you'll let me apologize anyway. You'd probably say something like "Come on now, Kiku! Stop apologizing for the past and work your way to a better tomorrow!" The thing is, though, you are my tomorrow. When I lost you, I remember thinking "What more do I to live for?" Those thoughts are behind me now. I've chosen to live for Kirei and my other family members.
I remember our last day together, before the monster took you away. You told me that you wanted to go to the park. Even though it risked everything, I granted it happily. We sat together on the bench nearest to our favorite cherry blossom tree. Our fingers were entwined together as we gazed out into the green field. Seeing the little children playing with toothy smiles warmed our hearts. You turned to me with a longing smile and said "I want a child with you, Kiku." The truth is I wanted one with you, too. It's just that I was wondering if we could handle it together if the monster took you too soon. Before I could reply, you say "That's what I want more than anything. A real family," You closed your eyes, as if the scenario was coming to your mind like a movie. "Yes, a real family. I want to wake up in our bed with you and a little girl in the middle of us. We could come here and she'd point out all kinds of things she likes. 'Mommy!' she'd call out to me. 'You see that pretty flower?' It'd be so adorable," A small tear fell down your eye. "Her name would mean beautiful, because she'd be the most beautiful thing in my eyes." I nodded, thinking of the wonderful image. It was after that conversation you started hacking. I wasn't frightened until I saw blood running down your hands.
To this day, there is still one thing I regretted. I regret not telling you I loved after you said to me as you passed away. I'm sorry, Yao. I hope you know I love you.
See you next year, my love.
Love, Kiku
P.S. Kirei found a picture of you and called you "Mommy"
Kiku taped the laminated letter beside the one he left the year before. His eyes couldn't help the tears that fell on it as he read it aloud. The little fingers wrapped around his single index finger tightened at his tears. "Is this where Mommy lives?" the little girl asked. Kiku nodded slowly, caressing the headstone lovingly. "I love you, Yao." With that said, Kiku picked up his daughter and walked away from the grave.
"Here lies Wang Yao.
Taken to soon by lung cancer. A brilliant man and husband will be missed.
March 1983- June 2011"
For those who don't know, "Kirei" means beautiful in Japanese... Thanks for reading!