Star Trek Voyager "Catastrophe"
By VoyagerCat
Disclaimer . . . Paramount owns all Star Trek and related characters. Rated PG ©200
"Captain, we are in communication range."
"On screen Mr. Kim." They were greeted with the image of what they hoped to be a new friend in the Delta Quadrant. He looked somewhat like earth's canine species. A Long pointed nose and very small pointed ears on the top of the head.
"Voyager, welcome to our planet. We are very excited to have you here. Captain Janeway, I presume?"
"Yes, thank you. You are most gracious. We're looking forward to our visit on your planet. We are in much need of some rest and relaxation."
"We couldn't be more pleased to accommodate your crew. Our planet has many beautiful things to offer travelers. When would you like to meet to make arrangements?"
"My first officer and I can beam down in about 30 minutes if that would be ok."
"Yes! Yes! That's wonderful!. We will see you then."
"Wait, excuse me, I'm not sure how to address you. What is your name?"
He started to laugh, which sounded a lot like barking. "I'm afraid Captain, it will be hard to say in your language, but I will try."
The entire bridge crew covered their ears, as the very loud howling noise pierced through the com. system. When Janeway looked up, she saw he was laughing. "I guess you're right, that would be impossible to say. Are all of your names that . . . how can I put this?"
He was laughing again. "Captain, why don't you just call me Ambassador Ike?"
"Thank you, that would be much better. We look forward to meeting you."
"We'll be waiting. Ieee . . . I mean Ike out."
The bridge crew started in with fits of laughter. "This could be very interesting." Janeway said, interrupting the laughter.
"I hope we don't have to go through that with all of them."
"I'm with you on that one, Tom. We wouldn't get much relaxing in with our hands over our ears all the time." Chakotay said.
"I'm sure it won't be that bad, Commander. Besides they are kind of cute. They look like they could be man's best friend."
"I hope you're right Captain, we could use a friend out here."
"That we could Chakotay. Tuvok you have Bridge. We'll contact you as soon as we have the arrangements made."
"Aye Captain."
As Janeway and Chakotay headed for the turbo lift, Tom called out to them. "You better take ear plugs with you." Janeway just glared at him as the doors swished closed
***
They materialized on the planet, and found it to be the most beautiful place they had seen in a long time. The sky was a light shade of lavender, with fluffy pink clouds. The grass looked more like plush carpeting than grass. All of the trees around the city square were so brightly colored, Janeway felt like she was standing in the middle of a painting. "Wow! This place is breathtaking." She whispered.
Before Chakotay could say anything, Ike came up to them, with hands out stretched in greeting. He gave Janeway a hug, and turning to Chakotay, shook his hand with his huge paw like ones. "Captain, Commander, welcome to our home. We're so happy to have you here. Let me introduce my associates. This is . . ." He paused for a minute, "I guess this could prove a bit difficult. Maybe you should just call them ambassadors to our city."
"That would be fine, thank you." Janeway replied.
They all shook hands with them. "We're happy to have you here. If we can do anything to make your stay better, please let one of us know."
"We're very grateful for your kindness. It will be nice for our crew to have some time to relax. It's been awhile."
"Captain Janeway, you're welcome here as long as you like. We would all be honored if you and your staff would join us this evening, for a big feast in the main hall. We can make all of the arrangements for your stay, and give you some tips on what is fun to do in our beautiful city."
"Yes, thank you Ike. That would be very nice."
"Excellent! Well, we should get going, we have some plans to make for tonight. Please stay and look around. There is a very lovely park around the main complex. Anyone you see will be happy to assist, if you have questions."
As their new friends left, Janeway couldn't help but smile. "They are the most friendly species we've met in a long time. I just hope we aren't in for one of our usual surprises."
"Well Kathryn, I say we try to enjoy it while we can. Besides, I think we can trust them, you did say they are man's best friend." He gave her his famous dimple-faced smile.
"Ok Chakotay, I'll just have to trust in that smile of yours." She gave him a smile of her own. "Lets contact Tuvok first, then we can take that walk around the park."
He took her hand. "Sounds good to me. Lets go."
The park was beautiful, with all of the bright colors and so many Cats! "Chakotay, have you noticed how many cats are around here?"
"Yup, I think they're cute. Don't you like cats Kathryn?"
"Yes, I like them. It just seems like they are everywhere." She picked on up, and it started to purr. " Some of them have purple eyes, have you noticed?"
He reached over to pet the cat, who was snuggling in Kathryn's arms. "I hadn't noticed, but . . ." He looked at her with sad eyes.
"But what Commander?" She ask sweetly.
"I never get to snuggle in your arms like that."
She looked at his sad face. "Well Commander, maybe if you started to purr . . . She couldn't hold back the laughter.
"Really! I'll have to remember that." Then they were both laughing.
"Come on Kathryn, we should get back to the ship. We need to help with the shore leave schedule. I doubt you want Tuvok to take over that job."
"You're right about that one."
***
The senior staff, all but the Doctor and Seven were in attendance at the dinner. Their new friends had really out done themselves. The dinner hall was beautiful. The food was excellent, even Neelix had to admit that. "Ambassador Ike, I would love to get some of your recipes, and I could give you my favorite leola root casserole, it . . . "
"Neelix!" Janeway interrupted.
"That's quite all right Captain. We would love some of Neelix's recipes. It sounds intriguing."
"Intriguing would hardly describe it Ambassador, but I'm sure Mr. Neelix would be very thrilled."
He just laughed again. "Captain, we have all of the arrangements made for your stay. Your crew is welcome to come down anytime they're ready. We will have ambassadors waiting to help in any way."
"That's very kind of you. Is there anything special we should know, before we have them beam down?"
"Just to enjoy themselves, and have fun! The only thing I can think of would be, not to take any of the purple eyed cats off of the planet. We're not sure what effect a different environment would have on them. They are indigenous to this planet and very special to us."
"We understand, and thank you Ambassador."
***
The next few days went by much too quickly for the crew of Voyager. Even the Doctor took time to do some sight seeing with Seven of Nine. "This place is lovely, don't you think Seven?"
"It is sufficient Doctor, but I'm not sure why they have so many cats."
"I guess they like them. What do you think of cats?"
"I don't know Doctor." She walked over and picked one up and it started to purr. "It's making a very strange noise. What should I do?"
He laughed. "Nothing Seven, It just means he likes you."
She held the cat for a minute, then put it down. "They are rather interesting."As they continued their walk, Seven never noticed the slight smile The Doctor had on his face .
***
Voyager was scheduled to leave orbit in a few hours. There was just enough time for some of the crew to get one more afternoon of fun in, before departure. Captain Janeway, Chakotay and Naomi Wildman were taking one last walk in the park.
"Captain, I've had lots of fun on this planet. I wish we could stay longer."
"So do I Naomi, but we really have to get going. We still have a long way to go before we reach the Alpha quadrant. Besides, I think Neelix wants to try all of his new recipes out on us." Naomi and Chakotay just laughed.
"Captain, do you think it would be ok if . . . well, if I could have one of these little kitties? I promise to take care of it Please!" She begged.
Janeway took the little girl over to a park bench to sit down. Naomi sat beside her, waiting for her to answer. "Naomi, I wish you could, but it's not a good idea to have pets on Voyager. We have so many things a cat could get into. I wouldn't want anything to happen to it."
"But Captain! I would watch it all the time. I'd never let anything hurt it."
"I know sweetheart, and I'm sure you would take good care of a cat, but we just can't have one of these." Naomi started to protest again, but Chakotay cut in.
"Naomi, these are special cats. They are not supposed to leave the planet. Ambassador Ike told us they don't know what would happed to them if they did. They are a different kind of cat, so they wouldn't do well on Voyager."
Janeway looked at her with sympathy. "I really am sorry Naomi. I know you get lonely sometimes, we just can't take the chance. Do you understand?"
"I guess so Captain." She hopped off the bench. "Can I go now? I want to go catch up with Tom and B'Elanna, they're going to take me and mommy to get a dog on a stick, before we have to go back to the ship. Tom says it's an old earth treat, and I'll love it."
"Of corse Naomi, we'll see you later. Ok?"
"Ok." As she took off running toward her mom, she turned around and waved goodbye.
"I hope she wasn't too upset."
"I think she'll be fine Kathryn, she'll have forgotten about it before she even gets her, dog on a stick?" He looked at her questionably.
"Don't ask me. I've never heard of it." She took his arm so they could finish there walk. "I hope you're right Chakotay. I hate to make her sad."
He gave her a big smile. "I know, you would do anything for her."
She smiled back at him. "I would do anything for any of my crew."
"Even me?"
"Well, there are exceptions Commander." She laughed. "Now, let's go before we have to get back."
"My pleasure Captain."
***
"Captain, everyone has reported in, and we're ready to leave orbit."
"Understood Tuvok, open communications to the Ambassador. I'm on my way."
As Janeway entered the Bridge, she could see Ike's face on the view screen. "Ambassador, we are so grateful for everything you and your associates have done for us. We could never repay your kindness."
"Captain Janeway, we were happy to help. We have enjoyed getting to know you and your crew. It's been just as much fun for us. We all wish you well on your journey home."
Janeway couldn't help the tear in her eye from escaping. It has been so long since we have had a real friend. She thought to herself. "Thank you Ambassador."
"Your are welcome Captain. Good luck Voyager."
As the screen went back to the view of the planet, Janeway took her seat, and cleared her throat. "Mr. Paris take us out. Warp six."
"Yes Ma'am"
"See, what did I tell you? Maybe our luck is changing." She got up and put her hand on his shoulder. " Maybe so. You have the Bridge. I'll be in my ready room."
"Aye Captain."
***
Janeway was working on her never ending pile of reports, when her door chime sounded. "Come in." She looked up as she heard the door open. "Neelix, what can I do for you?"
"Captain, as morale officer I have a request."
"Ok, what is it?"
"As you know, tomorrow is Seven's birthday. I would like to have a surprise party for her. I think it would be good for the whole crew. They are a bit down, having to leave the planet after so much fun."
"Neelix, I think that would be fine, but I'm not sure how Seven will react to a party. They are not her favorite things."
"I know Captain, but she'll like it. Just leave everything up to me."
"Ok Neelix, just make it simple. Don't over do it."
"Great!" And with that he flew out the door before she could say another word. I hope he knows what he's doing. She thought.
In Sickbay, the Doctor had his own little surprise for Seven. "Well little one, I sure hope she will like you. It wasn't easy getting you up here. Now you be very quite and stay put until tomorrow. Computer, deactivate EMH."
***
Very early the next morning, Captain Janeway was in her quarters sleeping, or trying to. There was something that kept tickling her face. She finally woke up enough to brush something very soft away from her nose. "What the hell?" She set up so fast, she almost fell out of bed. "How did you get here?" She reached down and picked up a cute little gold cat. Naomi! What have you done? She thought. "Well little one, it seems someone has some explaining to do." She got out of bed and took a quick shower, and dressed before she confronted Naomi. After getting her coffee, she tapped her com-badge. "Captain Janeway to Naomi Wildman."
After a pause, a very sleepy voice answered. "This is Naomi. Good morning Captain."
"Miss Wildman, I would like to see you in my ready room as soon as possible. We have something to discuss."
"Ok Captain. Can I get dressed first?"
"Of course Naomi." She said a bit more softly. "How about 30 minutes?"
"I'll be there Captain."
As Janeway picked up the cat and turned to leave her quarters, the door chime sounded. "Come in." Chakotay, carrying a surprise of his own, walked in. They looked at each other and started to laugh. "I believe Commander, we have the same problem." She looked at both cats. "I thought Naomi understood she couldn't have a cat. Now it seems she took two of them." They sat on the couch with the cats, who were being very cute. "Chakotay, I'm really surprised she would do this. I guess I don't know much about children."
"Kathryn, we all make wrong choices. I think she just couldn't help herself. She's just a little kid."
"I know Chakotay, but two of them? And why are they in here with us? She should have watched them a little closer."
He was just playing with the cats seeming to ignore her. "Chakotay!"
"Sorry Kathryn." He looked up. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to have a talk with her in a few minutes. I'm not sure, what to do with the cats though."
"Tuvok to Janeway." They were interrupted.
"Janeway here. What is it Commander?"
"Captain, I think you better come to the Bridge. There is something you need to see."
She looked at Chakotay, who looked as puzzled as she was. "I'm on my way. Janeway out. Well Chakotay, are you going to stay and play with the cats? I could always promote Tuvok to first officer."
"I'm coming!" He picked up the cats and followed her out the door.
***
As they entered the Bridge, Janeway called out. "Report." Before Tuvok could give a response, she saw the problem. There were three cats sitting in her command chair, one on Tom's shoulder, and Tuvok was holding one.
"Captain," Tom, spoke up. "I sure hope you like cats."
She looked over at Tom. "Not this much Lieutenant. "Tuvok, what the hell is going on?"
"Unknown Captain. It seems we have an infestation of felines. There have been reports of cats all over the ship."
She was afraid to ask. "How many?"
"At last report 47."
"How?" She asked no one in particular. "This is the craziest thing I've ever seen." She went to sit in her chair and almost sat on a cat. She picked it up and handed it to Chakotay, who already had two in his hands. "Commander, I'll be in my Ready Room. Send Naomi in the minute she arrives."
"Yes Ma'am." He chuckled.
She called back to him. "And find something to do with all these cats." As the door opened to the Ready Room she stopped, and looked back at Tuvok. "Make that 50 Tuvok." Then the doors closed behind her.
Tom couldn't suppress his laughter, which caused both Chakotay and Harry to join in.
***
You could hear B'Elanna Torres sneezing from two decks away. She was running down the corridors, in a big hurry to get to Sickbay. As she entered, she called out for the computer to activate the EMH.
"State the nature of the medical emergency." AAHHCHOOO! The Doctor looked over to where the horrific sound came from.
"Doctor! You have got to do something! I can't stop sneezing." AAHHCHOOO!
"You do have that Klingon sneeze down perfectly." He ran his tricorder over her. "When did this start?"
She sneezed again. "Last night, shortly after we left the planet. It just keeps getting worse. I'm going crazy Doctor, do something!"
"If you would hold still, it might help." B'Elanna just glared at him. "Now, have you come in contact with anything unusual in the last twelve hours?"
"The only thing I can think of, would be all these damn cats." With that, he stopped what he was doing and just stared at her. "What's the matter Doctor? Cat got your tongue?" She started laughing.
He dropped his tricorder and ran to his office."Oh No! What have I done?"
"What are you talking about Doctor?"
"I brought a cat onboard Voyager. I was planning to give it to Seven as a surprise for her birthday."
"Well, the surprise is out. I take it you didn't clear it with the Captain first?" He just shook his head. "The Ambassador told us not to take the cats off of the planet." She turned to see two cats jump up on a bio-bed. "I guess we know why now, don't we Doc. Would you please give me something for this damn sneezing?" She growled at him.
"Yes, sorry B'Elanna." He put a hypo spray to her neck. "I really didn't mean to harm anyone. I just thought Seven would like it." He looked over at one of the cats. "These cats don't look like the one I took off the planet. The one I took had purple eyes."
"Well, I suggest you find your little purple eyes, fast! When the Captain finds out, there will be hell to pay." She turned to leave, then stopped. "And I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when she does." As she left the cats followed her out.
"I'm glad I'm just a hologram." He muttered to himself.
***
As Naomi entered the Bridge, she looked around for the Captain. Not seeing her, she spoke. "I'm supposed to see the Captain." She looked at Chakotay. "Commander Chakotay, am I in trouble? The Captain sounded upset."
Chakotay got up and took Naomi by the hand. "We better go see the Captain. Come on, I'll go with you."
The door chime sounded. "Come in." As the doors opened, Naomi held tight to Chakotay's hand. He leaned down and whispered, "It will be alright Naomi, she won't bite."
Janeway patted the couch seat next to her. "Naomi, come over and sat down. We need to talk." She looked up at Chakotay. "That will be all Commander." He gave Naomi a smile as he left.
"Captain Janeway, are you mad at me?" Naomi asked with a slight quiver to her voice.
"Naomi, when you asked if you could have a cat yesterday, I thought you understood that it would not work out on Voyager. Now we have over 50 cats on board. Why did you disobey me?"
Naomi looked at the Captain with sad eyes. "I didn't Captain. I never took any kitties off the planet"
Janeway looked at her for a moment before speaking. "Naomi, are you sure? A Star Fleet officer always tells the truth."
"Yes Captain, I promise! I would never lie to you."
Janeway took her hand. "I believe you, sweetheart." A cat jumped up on her lap. "But how did these cats get here? And why are there so many?" Just then her com-badge chirped.
"Doctor to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here Doctor. I'm a little busy right now, can this wait?"
"No Captain, I need to see you right away."
"I'll be there as soon as I can Doctor. Janeway out." She got up to leave. "Come on Naomi, you can come with me. Maybe we can figure out the cat mystery together."
Naomi was instantly smiling. "You mean you want me to help you?"
"Yes, I think you are purr-fect for the job." As she held a purring cat out to Naomi.
"Thanks Captain. I'll do my best."
***
Janeway and Naomi headed for Sickbay. On the way they saw so many cats they lost count."Captain, why are there so many of them? I don't understand."
"I don't either Naomi, but we better figure this out soon, or the cats will be running my ship."
They stopped in front of Sickbay and saw three more cats coming out. Janeway turned to Naomi. " I have a job for you. Will you go to the Mess hall, and see if Neelix has something to feed all of the cats? I'm sure they're hungry. I bet he could use you help."
"Sure Captain. I'll do anything to help."
"I know you will. I'll see you later Naomi."
When Janeway entered Sickbay, she didn't see the Doctor anywhere. She was just about to have the computer activate him, when she saw him on his hands and knees behind a bio-bed. "Doctor, what are you doing?"
"Captain, I didn't see you come in. I'm trying to catch this cat." As he said that the cat ran right over to Janeway.
"I see your bedside manner works the same on cats as it does on people."
"Very funny Captain. This is serious, and I'm to blame."
"You?" She glared at him.
"Yes Captain, I'm very sorry. I brought One cat onboard. I was going to give it to Seven of Nine for her birthday. I had no idea this could happen. I don't even know how this is happening."
"Doctor, I can't believe you would do this. You know as well as anyone on this ship, you can't just bring things onboard without making sure it's safe." He just looked at her. "Who in the hell gave you permission to bring a cat onboard?" He didn't reply. "Ambassador Ike told us not to take a purple eyed cat off the planet." She looked at the cat in her hands. "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen one with purple eyes. Did the cat you brought onboard have purple eyes?"
"Yes Captain." He meekly replied. "But how was I supposed to know, a cat was unsafe? No one ever told me, they couldn't leave the planet."
"I'm sorry you were not informed about the cats Doctor. But that does not excuse the fact, you knew better in the first place."
"I'm sorry! Captain. I only wanted to do something for Seven. When we were on the planet she seemed like she would like one. I never meant for anything to happen."
"Well arguing about it wont help the situation. We have to find a way to stop the cats from multiplying." She paused for a moment. "How are they multiplying?"
"I don't know. I was going to try and examine one, but I can't even catch it."
Janeway handed him the cat. "Here, we need some answers."
He took the cat. "You do have a way with them Captain." He looked at the cat closer. "I think we should find the one with purple eyes."
"I've only seen ones with normal colored eyes." She tapped her com-badge. "Janeway to the Bridge."
"Tuvok here."
"Tuvok, how many cats at last count?"
"There were 134, but that is increasing as we speak."
"This is getting out of hand. Tuvok have a security team meet me in the Mess hall. We need to round up all the cats, and get them in one place. Have them keep an eye out for a purple eyed one. I think that's our little culprit."
"Aye Captain. I'll get right on it."
"Doctor, I want an answer A.S.A.P. This is turning into a real mess." She said on her way out.
***
When Janeway entered the Mess hall, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Neelix! What are you doing?"
"Just what you told me to do Captain, feeding the cats." He had huge plates of food all over the Mess hall. The cats were eating like they hadn't ever been fed. Which they probably hadn't.
"What are you feeding them?
"Leola root casserole. They love it."
Janeway just rolled her eyes. "That figures."
"Captain," Naomi came running up to her. "Can you believe how many kitties there are?"
"It is hard to believe. Naomi, have you seen a cat with purple eyes? We really need to find him."
"No, but I can help you look."
"Thanks, will you go to Astrometrics and get Seven to help us?"
"Yes Captain. We'll find that purple eyed cat." And out the door she ran.
Janeway went over to Neelix, who was scooping out more leola root for the cats. "Neelix, I hope you have some coffee." When he didn't answer, she got worried. "Don't tell me you fed all the coffee to the cats?"
"No! Captain. I'm sorry I'll get it."
"That's ok Neelix, I'll get it. You do have your hands full."As she went over to pour her, coffee, her com-badge beeped.
"Engineering to the Captain."
"Go a head B'Elanna."
"Captain . . . AAHHCHOOO!"
"B'Elanna!" Janeway spoke with alarm. "What was that?"
"Sorry Captain. It was just me sneezing."
Janeway started to laugh. "Sneezing, that sounded more like the Warp Core exploding."
"Well, It's not my fault I'm allergic to cats."
"Why don't you have the Doctor give you something?"
"I did, but there's so damn many cats around here, it's a wonder I'm still alive."
"I'm sorry B'Elanna, we're trying to figure out what's going on."
"That's why I contacted you. I saw little purple eyes a few minutes ago. I tried to catch him but he got into one of the Jeffries tubes before I could grab him."
"At least we know he's around."
"Captain, we need to . . . AAHHCHOOO! . . . Get these cats out of here. They're getting into everything."
"Ok B'Elanna, I'll get a security team down there to get all the cats. In the mean time, maybe you should go see the Doctor again."
"Fine, but if it wasn't for him we wouldn't be in this mess."
"I know, he told me, but he meant well."
"AAHHCHOOO! . . . I'm going to erase his holo-matrices anyway."
"Lieutenant!"
"Alright, I'm going. Torres out."
***
Janeway took her coffee, and headed for the Bridge. When the doors opened, she was greeted by five cats that ran onto the turbo lift. "Chakotay! why are there still so many cats up here?"
"I was hoping you could tell me. Every time we round up one, two more just appear."
She went over and sat in her chair next to Chakotay. Before she could get a word out, three cats jumped on her lap. "Commander." She gave him the look. He immediately took the cats off her lap. "Chakotay, we have to do something. We have beaten the Borg, the Kazon, even species 8472. I'll be damned if I am going to let these cats, take over my ship."
"What do you suggest Kathryn? We can't just throw them out an air lock."
"Why not?"
"Captain!" Harry exclaimed.
"I'm just kidding Harry. But we have to do something, and fast."
"The purple eyed cat has been spotted, but no one can catch it; and even when we do, then what?"
"I really don't know Chakotay. The Doctor is working on it, but I don't think he has a clue how to fix this mess he started. I'm beginning to agree with B'Elanna."
"About what?"
"Never mind. It's not very, Captain like."
"Captain." Tuvok spoke up. "If I might suggest, maybe we should go back to the planet. The Ambassador might have a way to help!"
"I was thinking the same thing Tuvok. I just hope they will understand. Ike told us something could happen if the cats left the planet, but I doubt even he could have expected this."
"Well, I sure hope he can fix it." Harry said.
"Tom, how fast can you get us there?"
He tapped in some coordinates. "Looks like at Warp nine about, two hours Captain."
"Engage, Mr. Paris. Before the cats star flying my ship."
"Too late." He chuckled, as a cat jumped of his console.
***
By the time Voyager reached orbit over the planet, there were over 400 cats onboard, and they still could not catch purple eyes.
"Captain, we are in orbit."
"Tuvok, contact the Ambassador. I'm on my way."
She entered the Bridge from her Ready Room, holding two cats. "Do we have communications open?"
"Yes Captain."
"On screen."
When Ambassador Ike appeared on the view screen, his eyes showed an expression of shock. And then the laughing started. He was laughing so hard he almost fell off his chair. Janeway just stared at him. "This is not funny Ambassador."
He just kept laughing, as he looked around at all of the cats on the Bridge. They were sitting on chairs, on the consoles, even on the people. Finely he stopped laughing long enough, to get a few words out. "Captain Janeway, I see you have a purple eyed cat onboard." He started laughing again, which was getting a bit annoying.
"Ambassador, please! Can you help us?
He quieted down. "I hope so Captain. Do you have the purple eyed cat.?
"We've seen him, but we haven't been able to catch him. Is there a trick to it?"
"There is a special cat call we have, that he should respond to. I will have to come aboard your ship to do it."
"Will it be as loud as your name?" Chakotay asked.
"I'm afraid so, but it should work, and I can't help you without the purple eyed cat."
"Ok Ambassador, we'll beam you up now."
"Harry, beam him to transporter room one. Chakotay, you're with me." As they headed for the turbo lift, she called out to Tuvok. "Have the Doctor meet us in the transporter room."
***
He materialized and looked around quickly. "Welcome aboard Ambassador." Janeway greeted him.
"Your ship is lovely, Captain."
"Thank you, although as you can see, it has been taken over by cats. I sure hope you can help."
"I must say, we never quite knew exactly what would happen if one of the cats left the planet. It seems, our concerns were right. Captain, why did you take a purple eyed cat?"
She looked over at the Doctor. "It appears, not all of my crew were properly informed. I sincerely apologize to you Ambassador."
"Quite all right Captain. One good thing about it, we now know what will happen when the cats leave our planet." He picked up a cat and started to laugh again.
"What can we do to help?" Chakotay asked.
"Where is the last place the cat was seen? That's where we should start."
" I believe he is still in engineering."
Janeway tapped her com-badge. "B'Elanna, is the purple eyed cat still down there?"
"Yes, but . . . AAHHCHOOO! . . . The damn thing is impossible to catch."
"We're on our way. Hopefully we have a solution."
When they arrived in engineering, the place was in total chaos. There were cats running everywhere. Not to mention the 30 crew members and one very angry Klingon chasing them.
Chakotay couldn't suppress his laughter.
"Commander! Maybe you would be more help back on the Bridge." Janeway growled.
"I think you may be right Captain." He was still laughing on his way out the door.
"Captain, I'm sorry. I have really made a mess of things."
"That you have Doctor. I'm sure I'll think of a suitable punishment."
"Captain?"
"Later Doctor." She looked for B'Elanna, and found her on her hands and knees crawling out of her office. "B'Elanna!" Now she started laughing. "What are you doing?"
"AAHHCHOOO! . . . What the hell do you think I'm doing?" She looked up at Janeway's expression. "Sorry Captain. I was looking for purple eyes. He has got to be in here. I just saw him."
"It's quite all right Lieutenant. Why don't you go to Sickbay with the Doctor? I'm sure he could give something more for your sneezing." B'Elanna just glared at the Doctor.
"Captain!" He protested. "She might try to erase my program."
"Doctor, I'm sure she will behave herself. Won't you B'Elanna?"
She just gave Janeway a smile. Then took the Doctor's arm and headed for the door. "Don't count on it, Doc." She growled at him.
The Ambassador was just quietly laughing at the whole seen. "Captain shall we get this over with?"
"Yes of course. What can I do to help?"
"I think it best if you just put your hands over your ears."
"Ok." Everyone in engineering put their hands over their ears as Ike began calling the cat. Even though they had their ears covered, it was the most loud piercing noise any of them had heard. When he finally stopped, Janeway looked up to see him holding the purple eyed cat.
"Wow! I'm sure glad it worked the first time." Janeway was rubbing her ears. She reached out to pet the cat. "Hello little one." Then she looked at the Ambassador. "Now what?"
"I believe Captain, if we transport him back to our planet, the other cats will just disappear."
"Do you mean they won't exist anymore?"
"I think so, but this has never happened before, so I can't be positive. We will just have to try it to find out."
"Let's give it a try then." She tapped her com-badge. "Harry, lock onto the Ambassadors signal and beam him to the planet on my mark."
"Locked on Captain."
Janeway reached out and shook his big paw like hand. "Thank you, Ike. I hope this works."
He smiled back at her. "As do I Captain. This has been interesting."
"You can say that again." She tapped her com-badge. "Energize Harry." As the Ambassador and the cat dematerialized, all of the other cats in engineering did just disappear. Everyone in the room looked at each other.
"Janeway to the Bridge. Chakotay, any cats up there?"
"No Captain. They all just disappeared." You could hear cheering throughout the ship.
"I'm on my way to the Bridge now Commander. Janeway out."
***
She entered the Bridge, and Tuvok called out. "Captain, the Ambassador is hailing us."
"On screen." Ike's smiling face appeared. "It seems to have worked Ambassador. We will never be able to thank you enough."
"No need Captain. I'm glad I could help. Little purple eyes is back with us and doing fine."
"We're happy to hear it. Thank you again for all you've done. I think it's time we got out of here before we cause any more trouble." She smiled back at him. "Goodbye Ambassador."
"Goodbye to you Captain, and best wishes."
"Tom, take us out. Warp six." She sat in her chair and sighed deeply. "What a Catastrophe!"
Chakotay laughed, then leaned over to Kathryn. "I think you handled it purr-fectly." He just couldn't help himself.
"Commander, what am I going to do with you?" Then she, along with everyone on the Bridge broke out in laughter.
***
"Come in Commander." Janeway called out.
"Are you ready to go Kathryn? Neelix said he has a surprise for all of us."
"I don't like the sound of that Chakotay. This is supposed to be for Seven's birthday."
"Well, let's go find out. Everyone is waiting." She took his arm and they headed for Holo-deck one.
When the doors swished open, they both just stood there in shock. "OH NO!" Kathryn cried out. There were Cats everywhere.
Neelix came over to them with a big smile on his face. "Captain, Commander, welcome." When he saw the look of horror on their faces, he quickly explained. "Captain, it's ok, they're not real. I had the computer create them for Seven. I thought it would be nice for her, since she couldn't have a real one."
"Neelix! don't you ever do that to me again. I damn near had a heart attack."
"Sorry Captain, I'll remember from now on. No cats!"
Janeway smiled at him. "Neelix, where's Seven?"
"She's over there with the Doctor." He pointed to a table in the corner.
"Ah, just the two people I need to see. Will you excuse me Commander, Neelix?"
"Certainly Captain."
She made her way over to them. "Seven, happy birthday. I hope Neelix hasn't overdone it for you."
"It is sufficient. I do not care for parties, although Neelix means well."
"That he does, but sometimes he tries too hard. Seven, will you excuse the Doctor and I? We have something to discuss."
"Yes Captain."
The Doctor called out to her. "I'll see you later Seven. I hope." He mumbled softly, as he turned to face the Captain.
They sat at the table. After putting two cats on the floor, she looked up at him. "Doctor, I know you meant well, but there are always consequences to our wrong choices. In this case I have an entire ship full of cat hair, and you are the man for the job."
"What do you mean, Captain?"
"I mean, Doctor. That I want my ship cat hair free by morning, and you are going to clean it."
"But Captain, I'm . . ."
She cut him off. "Doctor, you yourself said you made the mess, now you're going to clean it up."
"That is well beneath my duties as the ship's Doctor."
"Not anymore, Doctor. Consider this a chance to expand your subroutines. Now get on it."
"Yes Captain."
As he got up to leave, she called out to him. "And Doctor, I want you to start on the Bridge."
"Yes Ma'am," he grumbled, as he headed for the door. Just as he got to the door, B'Elanna walked in.
"I hate cats!" AAHHCHOOO!
Everyone in the room looked towards B'Elanna, who was now chasing the Doctor out of the Holo-deck. "You're a dead man!" She yelled, as the doors closed.
Chakotay came over to the Captain, and they both burst out laughing. "And he thought my punishment was bad." She said.
They were getting up to leave, when Naomi came running up to her.
"Captain, I'm glad you're here. We did it! We got rid of all the kitties."
Janeway held out her arms for Naomi to come sit on her lap. "We sure did, I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you sweetheart."
"You're welcome Captain."
"Naomi, you still don't want a cat do you?"
"She looked around before answering. "No way Captain. I've had enough of cats to last me." She paused a moment, then looked right in the Captains eyes. "Could I have a dog instead?"
Janeway's jaw dropped in surprise. "Naomi, I . . . " She looked to Chakotay for help. He just smiled.
Naomi just started to laugh, then gave Janeway a hug. "Captain, I was just kidding." This time all three of them laughed.
End