Disclaimer: I don't own them... only in my dreams ;-)

Summary: It's kind of a dark little story... I think that Elliot has a dark side that no one really got know, but everyone knows is there just waiting to go off like a timebomb. In this story his life has gone to hell, his wife left him (again), he hardly sees his kids anymore, and he started drinking to forget it all. That's when he hits rockbottom and makes the biggest mistake of his life...

Oh and eh I'm not a writer (still) I don't do this kind of thing alot so please bear with me. It may suck but it's with the best of intentions.

Warning: Contains violence and deals with pretty dark stuff!!

CHAPTER 1

It was rather quiet at the 1-6 when Liv came in for work that day, she slowly made her way to her desk after putting away her coat.

She looked over at Elliot's empty desk, and sighed softly.

He was late again, and this had been going on for quite some time, she was really worried for him.

He hasn't been himself lately, he looked liked hell and always smelled of alcohol. She figured it was because of his seperation with Kathy.

That this was his way of dealing with it, not seeing her and his kids anymore.

It was not just his appearance that had changed, his attitude had gotten worse then ever.

He always had an aggressive side to him, but now he was out of control. He lost his temper more than once when interrogating a suspect.

He already had numerous complaints filed against him but he just didn't seem to care. His co-workers mostly ignored his behaviour because they felt sorry for him, but even they knew that this had to end.

Liv, being the closest to him, tried to talk to him about his problems but she didn't seem to get through. He simply shut her off.

Olivia got herself a nice hot cup of coffee and sat down at her desk. She looked up and saw Cragen pacing in his office. He did not look happy.

She knew this was about Elliot, she knew that Cragen was fed up with him. But there was nothing she could do about it, god knows she tried.

She just silenty prayed that he'd get here soon, before Cragen exploded. And as if on que Elliot walked in. He couldn't hold his balance for more then a second so when he reached his desk he quickly sat down.

He ignored his partner sitting across from him and let his head rest on his arms. Liv tried to make eye contact with him "El you okay?"

She took a good look at him, his shirt was hanging out of his pants, he tried to shave but failed miserably.

And again the smell of alcohol, Liv looked at her watch and sighed, it was way to early to be drinking.

Elliot then lifted his head and looked back at her, his beautiful blue eyes were blank.

It didn't even looked like Elliot anymore, like somebody snook in and took over his body.

"I'm fine Liv" he softly answered her. He faked a smile at her.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak to him when Cragen came bursting out of his office.

"Elliot, in here" he angrily said. Elliot sighed, stood up and walked in. Liv curiously watched the scene taking place inside his office. Though she couldn't hear what was being said, she had a pretty good guess.

After a long couple of minutes Elliot came out of the office, made brief eye contact with Liv and then headed towards the cribs.

"Olivia, you got a sec?" Cragen asked sticking his head out of the door. Liv finished the last sip of coffee then joined Cragen in his office.

"I'm sure you have a pretty good idea as to what I've just said to your partner?" he said to her with a gentle tone as he took a seat in his chair.

"yeah" she simply answered. "I told him to try and get some sleep". "Look I know he's going through a lot right now, but I don't need to tell you he's crossed the line to many times".

"I need you to remind him how much he used to love this job, because he is putting it all on the line right now" he said, his voice getting louder.

"And I am sick of this crap, people are starting to doubt my judgement". He sighed as he willed himseld to calm down.

Liv just stood there with her arms crossed, not really knowing what to say. "Captain, I tried but he...". "If anyone can get through to him it's you Liv" he said interrupting her.

She sighed and nodded, "OK I'll go talk to him". Just as she finished her sentence the phone rang. "Cragen" he answered.

Liv then left the office, got herself another cup of coffee and went to the cribs.

When she entered the room she immediately spotted Elliot on the last bed sitting with his head in his hands.

He slowly lifted his head to see who entered the room. "Hey" she softly said.

"Hey" he answered back. She sat on the bed across from him and held out the warm cup of coffee.

"I thought you might like this" she gently said. "Thanks" he said taking the cup from her hands.

He seemed to sober up a bit so she decided to give it another go.

"Look El" she began, "I know what you're gonna say Liv" he continued.

"Do you?" she asked him. "Do you really know what's happening here?". "You're about to lose your job Stabler, then what huh?"

"Is it really worth it?" "Then you will have lost your wife, your kids AND your job".

"Do you think I want this!" he said frustrated. "Do you think I want any of this to happen, to let my life go to shit".

"Look I know I shouldn't drink so much, but I can't help myself Liv" he said trying to explain.

Liv looked at him intensely, glad to finally get through to him. Wanting to help him.

"It just that I'm so damn tired but I can't fall asleep you know". "And so badly wanting to cry my eyes out and not shedding a single tear".

"It's driving me nuts, then booz just seems like the only logical option left"

"You know you have a drinking problem right?" she slowly asked.

He sighed and looked into those big brown eyes "I'm working on it" he answered her.

"Let me help you" she said leaning forward. "Liv, you're already helping by putting up with me when I'm like this".

"I just don't want you to lose your job over this El" she said feeling so sorry for him.

"Maybe it's for the best" he said breaking eye contact. "I'm just not the man I used to be anymore".

"You love this job El, don't give up so easily" she said trying to get through to him.

"I know you're in pain right now, but it will get better I promise you" she said with a soft tone as she reached out and held his hand.

He looked at her hands on his and then held them tight. He sighed "Thanks Liv" and looked at her again.

He gave her a smile, an Elliot Stabler smile, one she hasn't seen in a long time. It immediately made her smile too.

He then got up gave her a kiss on the head and left the cribs. Olivia remained sitting on the bed being pleased to finally have had a good conversation with him again.

Elliot grabbed his coat and left the precinct, Munch and Fin watched him leave as Olivia made her way downstairs.

"Everything okay?" Fin asked her. "Yeah I think I finally got through to him" she said with a little smile on her face.

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Later that night, Liv was having a relaxing night, just watching some old movies on tv.

she was wearing her sweatpants and a black top, just her average relax night outfit.

She got another soda from the fridge and just as she wanted to take her warm seat on the sofa again, there was a knock at the door.

She looked at the clock and wondered who could be here at this time of night. She approached the door and looked through the peephole.... Elliot.

She opened the door and was shocked to see as to how he was standing there, a bottle of whiskey in his hand, his clothing a total mess.

He was completely wasted, she could smell the alcohol a mile away. "Elliot?" she said still in shock.

"Hey Liv" he slurred. "Aren't you gonna invite me in?" he continued. He lifted the bottle of whiskey to take another drink, but before it even reached his mouth Liv grabbed it from his grasp and went into her kitchen to empty it in the sink.

Elliot stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He staggered his way into the kitchen as she threw the bottle away. "What a waste of a perfectly good bottle" he slurred at her.

"You are unbelievable, you stupid son of a bitch!" she angrily spat at him. She turned to face him anger showing on her face.

"Liv I just..." "What are you doing her El?" she interrupted him.

"I can't remember" he slurred. "You know, I was actually starting to think you grew up, wow was I wrong!"

She was so mad, she actually had a little hope for him again, but it was all gone now.

"Liv, why so angry?" he said as he approached her. Liv immediately took a step back, the smell of alcohol overwhelming.

"Elliot just go" she said disappointed. "No I want to make it up you" he said still approaching her.

"You look nice" he softly said. "Oh my god El, just go" she said annoyed at his remark.

She couldn't believe this, he was so drunk, that was actually hitting on his partner.