The story is loosely based on an Italian Fanfiction, written by darkrin on EFP ( here is the link of the story . ?sid=2813873&i=1). Some parts are translated from Italian and other ones are written by me. Enjoy the story! :)
Somewhere
Somewhere in the universe there is another dimension where Mark and Lexie are alive. And happy.
Mark Sloan is strongly sure of that.
( Once he read, on a scientific magazine , something about parallel universes. He had been waiting for Addison at home, after she had told him about the abortion. His child. Their child. Unwanted, discarded, deleted.
So he thought somewhere in the universe the reality was different. It had to.)
Lexie laughs, while eating a scorched toast and hopping on one foot in order to slip into her shoes. Mark thinks she is going to choke or at least to fell down the stairs but she arrives to the last step safe and sound and she raises her arms in sign of victory.
Two minutes later, she is humped away in a hurry, after pecking his lips. Mark shakes his head grinning and comes back to the kitchen, his sweatpants loose at his hips.
Mark thinks it has to be in that way because they were meant to be. If only they haven't made so many mistakes or wrong choices.
If only that night he had told her about his love and had kissed her. If only he had hold her or if they had been seated one next the other on that damned plane. If only.
Mark has to believe that somewhere there is a world where he is not in the wrong.
( The article was about the infinity of the universe and the millions of galaxy within it. Mark could only think about millions of cells making up human body. His child's body. Millions of cells that a doctor with no name had ripped out Addison's womb.)
Lexie is giggling against his neck, one hand on his chest and the other running through his hair, nuzzling at his jaw with her nose. Mark closes his eyes, perfectly relaxed and blissful. They are at Joe's but they pay no attention to other people surrounding them.
Suddenly, Derek cries his name aloud and he is seems tipsy: " Mark! Come and prove to these young doctors what a surgery god should look like!"
Lexie laughs and whispers: " Go, he needs you!" and then she shouts: " And take away the bottles!"
( Mark read about expanding universe theory and he couldn't help but thinking about his baby.
Nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed. And yet, that child had been created and now he was destroyed.)
The first day after the shooting Mark can't take his eyes off of Lexie. As if she were one of his patient or the most precious thing in the whole hospital, in the whole world. And for him she really is.
Lexie doesn't notice, since she is too concerned about breathing and surviving.
But if Lexie Grey doesn't see him, Callie Torres does.
Callie sees him and throws him to the nearest on-call room: " What are you doing, Mark? You have to give her room and time. She needs them!"
Mark lowers his head and murmurs: " I want to ask her to marry me."
Callie groans and hisses: " Have you listened to me?"
" I have, but-"
Callie pinches his arm: " Mark, you can't. You can't!" and he smugly smirks: " Is it a challenge?"
Mark stays on the threshold and Lexie widens her eyes, spreads her mouth and hisses weakly.
" What are you doing here?" she frowns and folds her arms across the chest in a bothering manner.
" Lex-" he stops suddenly, his tongue is too heavy and he feels a lump in his dry throat.
" What?" she blurts. Lexie is tired and confused and Mark makes her more tired and more confused. And every time she sees him, she feels something that burns just behind her breastbone-and though Lexie is a doctor and perfectly knows what is hidden behind that bone and her left lung, she actually can not think about it, or about its shape and function.
Mark whispers again: "Lex." And he finally understands what Callie meant: Lexie is too young and too scared and probably if he proposes now she will run away. But on the other hand, they are alive and he can't go away without hugging her, feeling her breath and her heartbeat against him.
" How are you? I am here because I want to know if everything is okay." he runs his fingers through his hair and he feels like a pathetic teenager.
" I am fine." She jerks. " I am not crazy. You can come back home."
" Lex." Mark murmurs again and again and he steps forward but Lexie turns away, shaking her head.
" Not now." She sighs. " Please, Mark. Not now… I can't."
Mark thinks about all the women he had before her. And after her. He thinks about all the times he has woken up in a cold and empty bed because not always compromises are enough. Sometimes even love is not enough.
( Mark closed his eyes and threw away the magazine. He wanted to change for Addison, for their child, for them. Mark was crying and Addison wasn't there for seeing him. And even if she had been there, she wouldn't have trusted him. She really couldn't believe him.)
And then they have got back together and they have been happy… until now.
" I am sorry, I should have told you. I am so sorry but maybe we can talk about it, we can figure-"
" Mark!" she yells. " You are going to have a child with Callie. We can't fix anything! How the hell did you get me in this position twice? It's-it's unbelievable… you are unbelievable!"
" I know, Lexie, I know."
" I am not ready. I can't accept that."
" I am not asking you to be its mother…It's going to have already too many moms. But that is my kid, that is part of me-"
" Please, stop Mark." She pleads him, her eyes are teary and her voice is broken. " Do-don't make me feel worse than I am already feeling. I am not the villain in this story. I am not!"
" Lexie, I love you." Mark declares, closing his eyes.
" I love you too." She breaths softly and Mark opens his eyes, full of hope but then he sees she is crying harder: " But I suppose it isn't enough now."
Actually it isn't enough for many weeks, until the car crash and Callie and Sofia are hanging in the balance.
Mark is exhausted and he is dozing on the couch in his office, his head on Lexie's thighs while she is stroking his hair.
He wakes up slowly and, realizing that his head has been on her lap, he rapidly sits up: " I am sorry, I didn't mean-" He stops immediately as Lexie brings her hand up, brushing his cheek.
She stared at him, glancing into his eyes and then down to his mouth, while he keeps looking at her face.
Suddenly, Lexie leans forward, crashing her lips against his.
Mark widens his eyes, incredulous. However, as soon as he actually realizes what is happening, he responds eagerly. Their lips are massaging tenderly and as his scruffy beard is scratching her upper lip, a soft moan escapes from her throat.
Mark takes advantages of the situation and starts nudging his tongue against her mouth, framing her face with his hands.
Her eyes flutter open and Lexie smiles faintly: " I don't know what I am doing. Maybe we need to stop." She said against his lips though her fingers move toward the hair at the base of his neck, gripping them slightly.
Mark exhales a soft breath, hot puffs of air blowing in her mouth, and pressing his forehead against hers, he whispers: " I am pretty sure we both need this. I need this. I need you, Lex."
She closes her eyes again and nuzzles his nose with hers: "I need you too. Let's talk later, then."
And, once again, she closes the distance between them.
"It's not fair, you don't deserve-" Mark sighs painfully, "You deserve better."
"Stop it, I am here." Julia added, concerned and worried, " I am not going anywhere, Mark. I love you" She finishes with a smile.
"I love Lexie" Mark states, and he feels horribly guilty, "Loved. I am sorry."
He is sorry for so many reasons and he keeps thinking about alternative universes, where Julia may receive the love of a man who deserves her. And where he hasn't to talk about Lexie using part tenses.
" This doesn't change anything Mark." Lexie says after their slow and loving round of sex. They are tangled up on his couch, she is propped up on her elbow, drawing random patterns on his chest.
He immediately opens his eyes and his hand, which has been playing with her hair, stops sharply.
" There are still so many problems and you can't keep living your life, ignoring me."
Mark nods, staring at her.
" And if we want this-this thing to work, then you have to promise me you won't mess up everything again. 'Cause I love you Mark. Oh… Oh my God That just came... fly-flying out of my face… I love you. I just -God! Did it again!"
And she laughs, starting babbling as always when she is nervous: "I…I-I-I love you. I-I do. I just, I love you. And I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it. And Jackson is a great guy. He-he is, and he… he's gorgeous, and he's younger than you and he doesn't have any grandkids or-or babies with his lesbian BFFs and he's an Avery, and-and he liked me, you know?" she asks, but she is not actually waiting for his reply.
" He... he really liked me. But it was never gonna work out because I-I love you. I am so in love with you. And you're-you're... you're in me. It's- You're like... it's- It's like you're a disease. It's like I am infected by Mark Sloan." Lexie affirms and she raises her hand in an emphasizing manner.
Then, with teary eyes and a broken voice she continues: " And I just can't..." she can't help but starting crying softly, "I can't think about anything or anybody, and I can't sleep. I can't breathe. I can't eat. And I love you. I just... I love you all the time, just every minute of every day. And I-I-I... I love you."
" Lexie" he says and for a moment she stays completely still, completely terrified. She is afraid he is going to tell her that he already has everything he always wanted. A daughter. A family.
" Lexie" he repeats. " I am completely in."
She holds her breath, as he chucks her under the chin and solemnly adds: "I love you, too."
Lexie glances down, blushing: " You don't have to say it just because I said it."
" Lexie, look at me." Mark whispers in a hoarse voice: "I do. I love you. I love you."
"Yeah?" She asked, visibly touched.
"Yeah." Mark grins, before kissing softly her temple.
(Maybe it was his punishment. He was aware of all his mistakes but it wasn't fair. If there was a God, why did he allow suffering?
He allowed his child's death.)
When the plane crashes Lexie sits next to him.
In a second, there are shouts and cries and screams and Mark and Lexie stare into each other eyes.
They are going to die.
Mark hugs her tightly, because it's the only thing he can do. He can't protect her, he can't save her. But he can absorb the shock. If that can save her, then he will die.
Afterwards, Lexie never leaves his side, holding his hand and saying his name. She stays there until the rescue helicopter arrives. And she keeps calling him even when he lies in a hospital bed, waiting for his awakening.
When he opens his eyes, she is there, holding her breath and blinking several times because she can't believe that he is actually staring at her.
Mark tries to smirk and then croaks: " Marry me."
Lexie can't help but crying. She whispers a yes while wrapping her arm around his neck and peppering his face with kisses.
A week later, they get married in the hospital chapel because they can not wait anymore.
After a year, Lexie passes her boards and she does so with flying colors. Now she is ready to attend her neurosurgery fellowship at Seattle Grace.
That very same day, they discover she's pregnant. They can't be happier.
Thomas Alexander Sloan is born on a rainy day of March and they immediately call him Tommy.
Mark cuts the cord and Lexie is laughing and crying and it's the most beautiful day of their lives.
When Lexie cradles him for the first time she feels as the luckiest woman in the world.
She touches the palm of her baby's hand and it immediately closes on her finger.
" He is perfect." She whispers to Mark, who is watching the scene and he is completely fascinated.
" Yeah, I think we did a pretty good job with him." he smirks and Lexie giggles.
Tommy is tiny and chubby and he has blond hair just like his dad.
Lexie thinks that maybe she is a little selfish but she is very glad of having boy.
Mark is already a father and though she loves Sofia to death, she is not her mother, and she never will be.
She hasn't given birth to Mark's firstborn and that thought still breaks her heart.
Nevertheless, she is the one who gives him a son.
Lexie smiles, passing the little bundle to Mark, who eagerly takes it. He watches as Tommy wrinkles his little nose and sneezes before opening his eyes for the first time.
Lexie gasps and Mark grins, seeing that they are hazel. They are the same shade of Lexie's eyes and Mark has secretly hoped for that.
Somewhere, Mark he is slowly passing away.
Slowly his kidneys fail and so do the liver and his intestine. In the end his heart, his broken -both literally and metaphorically- heart stops beating and he is gone.
Lexie, Lexie, Lexie. She is his last thought and he knows that somewhere she is waiting for him.
Mark is lying in their bed, the bed that they have shared for nearly fifty years, and he is old, wrinkly and tired. He knows he is dying.
Lexie is holding his hand, weeping, and their children and grandchildren are in the room, too. After Tommy they had a daughter, Audrey, and another son, Harry.
Mark's breath is short but he open his mouth and murmurs: " You actually have been the best family for me. We had the best life together. But now I need that all of you promise me something. If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing." He sighs painfully before speaking again: " Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there."
He closes his eyes and Lexie leans forward and kisses softly his lips.
" I love you Lexie, I always have and I always will, but you have to promise me that you won't be one of those women who die just after their husbands." He stops and he feels a pang in his chest.
" I mean, it's romantic but I need you to live and to be here, with our family. I want you to be happy, even without me." He whispers and she is the only one who can her his words.
He feels tears on his cheeks, his own tears and he doesn't remember the last time he cried.
" I love you, Mark. I love you." She sighs against his shoulder and these are the last words he hears.
( Addison was back and Mark pretended he didn't see her. It was childish and mean but it was the only thing he could do.)
Mark Sloan strongly believes that somewhere in the universe there is another dimension where he and Lexie are alive. And happy. It is his only consolation.