Ladies and gentlemen, Horses and fleas,
Bow-legged ants and cross-eyed bees.
I stand before you to sit behind you,
To tell you a story that I ought not to
On Wednesday, if it's a fine day on Thursday,
There will be a meeting held within this hall.
Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
One dark night in the middle of the day,
Two dead boys got up to play.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot one another,
One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose the Devil for a referee.
A mute psychotic shrieked in fright,
With words of joy at this ghastly delight.
A paralyzed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in his eye,
Knocked him through the missing wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
Two deaf policemen heard the noise,
Drew their guns and stabbed the twice dead boys,
"I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife,
While his dead son took his first breath of life.
As Mary leads her herd of sheep,
And rings her bell for souls to keep,
Her pal Antibus stands by her side
Granting solids to balance the tide.
And the narrator, with his story untold,
Meekly whispered, loud and bold,
The beginning words, To the meeting's end,
You, my enemy, are now my friend,
And if you don't think my tale is tall,
Ask the blind man he saw it all!