A/N: Okayyyyy I lost a bet w/ Angi and she made me either write a Kandy or MerDer ff so I hate MerDer, there ya go, Kandy... soon... It's like my shortest chapter EVER but I am idealess!! Now here comes the shocker, it took me two days to write this -annoyed- and now it totally sucks.

Disclaimer: If you sue me you'll sleep w/ the fische (yhyh dont own em)

As always, love to my hubby

Nothing is as it seems

This was it. This was her life how it was going to be forever and always.
She sighed, looking out of the window. It was raining and it never rained in the OC, well, not never, but rarely. Twenty-one, engaged and living in Newport Beach. This was good, it was all her friends growing up had ever talked about. Happiness and money, not to mention not even having to work for the money. Or was it money that equaled happiness? Kirsten didn't remember, she had never actually listened to all this. She had always disagreed with this so-called life plan: Going from living off your parents to living off your husband. This was against all she believed in, against all she wanted in her life. Kirsten Nichol wanted to be independent, this was the reason she went to college. Which according to her father wasn't necessary now that she would… well, do what her mother and all the other married women in Newport did: Hosting society events, not that all those shallow Newpsies needed another party to get drunk, gossip and cheat on whoever it was they were married to.
Kirsten had always despised where she came from. It wasn't the town, but the people. She wanted to live without such things as Montecarlo Night, trust funds, limousines and model homes.

She was twenty-one, this wasn't the age you should be planning your life, it was the age you should live it. But there was a problem, Kirsten knew she could never have what she dreamt of, after all, there was no way that Jimmy would move away from Newport or that she could ever really be independent.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, as she stared outside, to wrapped up in all her thoughts, to notice someone coming up behind her. "What are you thinking?" It was Jimmy, of course it was. "Nothing." Kirsten replied shortly and plastered on a smile, like she always did and just as always he didn't even sense that there actually was something that bothered her.

It wasn't right to second-guess her decision to marry Jimmy, he was the right guy and she loved him. She did, right? To be honest, Kirsten couldn't tell. He was the only guy she had ever been with, ever kissed. So how was she supposed to know if she was in love?

But this wasn't the day for worrying or second-guessing, after all they were going to return to Berkeley today and Kirsten told herself everything would look better once they were there and away from all this.

Later, as they drove through the gates silence had overcome them, a silence that neither dared to break.
How could she be unhappy with her life? There were 2500 kids starving in Africa every day and she was unhappy, it just seemed wrong, but still Kirsten couldn't shrug the feeling off. Maybe it was just not good to think about all of this, back in school everything seemed easier but mostly because they never talked about stuff. All they did and had ever done was going to parties and well coupley stuff, except for talking about their future. She knew that Jimmy wanted to be a financial planner but that was it. Her mother had told her that she shouldn't worry about this and her friends had said that talking is highly overrated. But deep down Kirsten knew that this wasn't true and the silence wasn't just a phase that would pass, it was her entire relationship.

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Okayyyyy that sucked, I know and thnx for waisting your precious time on this.