Why You Should Always Lock Your Windows

Hello Hello!

Ah, I love the smell of a first fan fiction in the morning! This is my first story on all my other stories are on I decided I'll give a chance.

Warnings: boyxboy goodness, OOC- ness and swearing. Rated 'T' because……well, just because it is, you get? Of course you do!

I DON'T OWN FMA! Though I bought the first volume of the manga today! I love it, it's so cute!

cough anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I wrote this at 12:43am, so it may not makes much sense.

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Ed could not believe it. Really, him, sick! It just doesn't happen.

But fate was a being a bitch today.

Ed lied in bed sick, with a common cold and sore throat. God, who even gets those anymore? Ed suddenly went into another coughing fit, which killed this throat even more. Those coughing fits would cause any normal person to back away slowly, and quickly exit the room, in fear they would catch the cold.

"Nii-san, cover your mouth when you sneeze, please…… he he, that rhymed!" said the 7' foot armour of Ed's younger brother; Al. Al stuck his head around the corner of the door.

"It's ok Nii-san, I'll be back soon with some medicine!" Al also yelled, as he quickly walked away from the dorm door, jus the case Ed went through another fit, and started to throw stuff at Al.

It was one of the only good things about being only a soul tramped in a suit of armour that you didn't get sick. Roy, when he heard about Ed being sick and after he stopped laughing, ordered Al to take care of Ed, since no one else would go near him, in case they got sick. So Al was stuck taking care of Ed. But he didn't mind, he was always taking care of Ed anyway.

But there is something else on this planet that doesn't get sick. It's called a Homunculus. And it just so happens that one of them was sitting on a tree limb, just outside the window of Ed and Al's dorm.

A Homunculus that looked like a palm tree.

And what a scene that would make if a normal person saw that palm tree haired person in the tree. They would think what the fuck? Is that a palm tree, sitting, in that other tree?' and mostly likely called the fire station, or a tree place, to report what they saw.

But anyway,

Now (If you haven't guessed already who it is you're a bit slow) Envy had been watching Ed for a while now. Ever since Ed got sick yesterday, in fact. He was just waiting for a moment like this one, when Al left the dorm, to go and cure Ed, his way.

After making sure that Al did leave the building, Envy then opened the window, and let himself in.

Ed was not very happy about this.

Even in his sick state, he could recognize the person who opened and jumped in his dorm. Please, the hair was a dead give away.

"AHHH! What the fuck to do want Envy?" he cried, or should I say croaked, out, trying to move as far away as he could from said intruder. But the bed he was lying in was right near the window and had a wall was on the side of it, so all he could was squish himself against the wall. Envy chuckled at this lame attempt at avoiding him.

"Chill, Chibi, I'm not here to hurt you. Pinkie swear!" Envy tried to convince the mentally insane alchemist. Maybe Envy shouldn't have kept attacking him for all those years and for the past month now…….

Ed stopped trying to get away from Envy and relaxed. He was very dazed and stupid in this sick state. But he still managed to give a small shout, or croak, of "Don't call me shout!" at Envy. Envy chuckled again. He moved towards Ed's bed, getting closer and closer until Envy could place a hand on Ed's forehead. As soon as placed it on there, he quickly, almost at once, took it away again. The Chibi was burning up. Envy made a "tsk, tsk" noise, like a mother sometimes does, and walked into the bathroom. In there he found a cloth, and wet it under the tap, and bought it back out with him.

Ed was watching his every move from where he lied in bed. The same thought running through his mind Why the fuck was he here?' Even when Envy placed a hand on his forehead, only for a second, Ed could feel himself getting hotter. These new emotions had been happening lately, for the past month now, especially when Envy decided to come and beat him up. Every time Envy would punch or kick him, he could feel himself heat up at the touch. He even couldn't help the thoughts of what it would feel like, if Envy was really touching him, loving him, not punching or kicking him.

Speaking of the devil himself, Envy had come back from the bathroom, wet cloth in hand. He again made his way over to Ed. He placed the damp cloth on Ed's head, and then quickly went to find a chair, and pull it up beside Ed's bed.

In truth, Envy has been also experiencing these new emotions and thoughts as well. He would be lying on his on his bed, in Dante's house, and Ed would suddenly cross his mind at the most random of times. He could have been thinking about kittens, and the thought line would go something like this:

Hmm… I wonder how loud a kitten would scream, or meow, if you pull off all its fur? Or if you gorge its eyes out? Hmm, I wonder if Ed likes kittens….'

This would happen every time he thought. It was frustrating Envy, who has never experienced something like before in all his life, to no end. So he took his angry to the source, Ed, and beat the shit out of him. But this didn't help at all. His thoughts still kept returning to the topic of Ed. So Envy would go back out, and beat Ed up again. He has been doing this for the past month now.

Do you know what the definition of Insanity is? Well, it's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting new results.

He only stopped beating Ed up, because he learnt that Ed was sick. So Envy had been binding his time, until he could see Ed himself, without scaring the younger brother. So now that Envy finally had Ed alone, he didn't know what to do. If he did, he had forgotten it. Damnit, he knew he should have written it down some where!

Which leads us back to the present time now. Envy just sat there, watching Ed. Soon this became really awkward and uncomfortable for both of them. So Ed decided to start a small conversation.

"So, um, Envy, why are you here again?" croaked out Ed. Envy took a moment or two to make some sense out of the question, since it was hard to hear it because of Ed's cold. Envy finally made sense of it, and then it clicked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot! I bought some medicine over for you!"

Hearing this, Ed turned away from Envy and he mouth clamped shut. Envy smiled at this, holding up a small bottle of blue looking medicine and a small spoon, which he pulled out from no where. But he must have a pocket or something on his skort. Envy thought for a couple of minutes, and then thought up a witty plan!

"Come on, Chibi, your acting like a five year old! And you're as small as one as well!"

As soon as that last comment was out of Envy's mouth, Ed was sitting up, glaring at Envy.

"Don't you eve-"

But Ed couldn't finish that sentence, since there was a small spoon full of the blue medicine in his mouth. Ed. Realizing this a couple moments to late, quickly spat the spoon and the medicine out of his mouth and started to gag. He glared hatefully at Envy, and sunk back down under the covers of the bed. Envy sighed and went to get the spoon.

"Hey Chibi, you do know that you need two spoons of medicine?"

Ed shook his head. Bad mistake. He stopped quickly and clutched his head, already feeling a headache coming his way.

Envy, after getting the spoon and sitting back down, during all that was thinking up another plan of how to get Ed to drink his medicine.

Hmm, he must really badly hate the taste…..well duh Envy! So, all I need is something he likes! Hmm….or maybe I could just….yes……… yes! That may just about work!'

Envy then grinned and laughed like the crazy person he really is. He then stopped, and noticed that he was scaring Ed, who was again trying to back away from Envy.

Envy then poured another spoon full of medicine, Ed noticing this, and turned away at once. Envy smirked at this. He then slowly crawled on the bed, towards Ed. Ed felt the extra weight on the bed and turned around to ask Envy what was making the bed so heavy. Bad mistake number two. As soon as he opened his mouth, turning around, he felt the medicine and spoon quickly sneak in. The horrible, awful beyond words, taste was there, but only for a couple of seconds. It was then replaced with something much sweeter, and a hell lot nicer.

It took another moment or two to figure out that Envy was kissing him.

When Ed realized this, he gave a yelp, which caused his and Envy's tongues, which Envy snuck into Ed's mouth, to touch. This sent sensations through Ed, none like he had ever felt before. Envy also felt it too. Ed also felt how much his body liked it, as it responded to Envy's touch. He pressed himself hard against Envy, as he shyly licked Envy's tongue with his own. Envy gasp and moaned into Ed's mouth, his moan sent shivers down Ed's back, as he began to play around with Ed's tongue. But with that, it was way too much for Ed to handle right now, being in his sick state, and Ed's brain could only come to one conclusion.

Mental shutdown.

Envy felt Ed do limp in his arms as Ea fainted, and he thought Yess! Plan a success!' Envy slowly lied Ed back down in the bed, got off it, tucked him in, placed the wet cloth back on Ed's forehead, and said a final goodbye before he left.

"Cya when you get better, Ed!"

And he jumped back out the window, back on the tree limb, and down the tree. He landed on the ground, placed his hands on his hips, and walked away humming some song.

When Al got back, He found Ed sleeping peacefully. But he could have sworn that he left that window shut, and that chair was not next to Ed's bed.

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Well, I enjoyed writing it….

I hope you thought it was good!

Good? Bad? So crap that it didn't even make much sense? Review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.

Til next time, bye!