Worth It

Alex had been lying to a lot of people lately, about a lot of things. He was lying to his parents when he told them he'd made his mind up about where he wanted to go to college. He was lying when he told a few old enemies at school, it's all in the past now. And most recently, he was lying when he told Eric his sister was sick, and that he needed to go visit her in the city.

Stephanie was Alex's big sister, about three years older than him. Alex was seventeen; Stephanie, twenty, was going to the Lynn-Wheeler College in the city and lived in a place just off campus with a couple of her friends. Stephanie had the same colour hair as Alex- jet black- but carried a greater resemblance to her father, while Alex actually looked more like his mother. Ironic, but that was how these things turned out.

The many lies Alex had told were getting a little too numerous for him to properly keep track of. He'd been lying for years, sometimes even when it wasn't really necessary. For the most part, however, Alex had kept things under control, and in the past year or so had never told a lie unless he needed to. Too much was depending on him now for anything to mess it up, especially something as ridiculous as getting caught in a lie he hadn't needed to tell.

This latest lie was one Alex might not have needed to tell… but he wanted to.

Stephanie and Alex had always gotten along, and his big sister, while not exactly a hero to him, had been someone Alex had respected and liked for many years. Stephanie was the best kind of big sister- almost more of a brother, really, and able to do many of the things you'd expect of a big brother instead of an older sister. For example, Stephanie would let Alex come hang out at her apartment sometimes, even letting him smoke a cigarette or have a beer if he wanted to. Usually Alex didn't, mostly because he just wasn't much into either of those things. He liked keeping his lungs clear and his mind entirely his own; compromising that just didn't sound desirable to Alex.

A week ago Stephanie had made Alex an offer. It was a one-time, take-it-or-leave-it deal, but one she was entirely willing to reimburse him on. Stephanie wanted to go across town for two weeks to another college, taking most of her roommates and a couple of her friends to hang out with some guys they knew. Spring break was a different time of year for students at Lynn-Wheeler College than it was for high schools in the area, and Stephanie didn't bother lying to Alex about why she wanted to go. "I'm bored," she said. "I've been doing midterms and papers all the last week. My friends and I are gonna go across town and have a bit of fun with some friends we have at BU."

Alex said that all sounded fine, but had asked what she was calling him for. Stephanie, laughing a little at that, told Alex one of her friends- one whose part-time job schedule meant she had to stay at the apartment- had seen some pictures of Alex on his MyFace page and thought he was 'cute'. Stephanie said Alex could stay at the apartment for two whole weeks if he wanted. With her.

Stephanie didn't say, but it might have been somebody Alex knew from high school. Alex had crushed on a couple of the girls in his sister's class, and he'd fantasized so many times about what he wanted to say- what he wanted to do- to one of his sister's friends. It seemed like Stephanie was friends with every attractive girl in her class. But the one Alex had dreamed about the most- Amy- had gone off to college somewhere like the rest of them, and dreams were all they were ever gonna be. Alex remembered Amy perfectly. She was stunningly attractive, with reddish-gold hair that flowed down past her shoulders, crisp blue eyes, and sharp, well-defined features about her face. She looked a lot like Eric, in a sense. Once, with a hand below his waist while he lay in bed one night, thinking about Amy and how much he'd wanted to just ask her out on a date and maybe a few after that… one night, Alex had started out picturing Amy and ended up thinking about Eric. What did he look like naked? Was he blonde below the waist, too? It was a strange couple of thoughts, and Alex quickly turned his mind back to Amy in embarrassment. But after that day, Alex had realised that somehow, that was part of what was so perfect about Amy. She looked so much like Eric.

The only thing Alex hadn't understood at first was how he was supposed to explain this to his parents, but Stephanie had a plan for that too. She would have a friend call and tell their parents Stephanie was sick, and that she wanted Alex to come to the city for a week or two and help her get some coursework done over spring break, as well as help her recover. Between Alex and Stephanie, their parents and then the school had been convinced, and so it was arranged. Alex packed his bags, made his excuses to Eric, and headed into the city for a two-week early spring break. Stephanie had left soon after, thanking Alex for his timely arrival and winking as she said "You can thank me later." Alex hadn't known what she meant until the one roommate of hers staying behind showed up. She walked in the door around nine o'clock, still in her Federal Market cashier's uniform. Alex had been sprawled out on the couch in the apartment common room, flicking through the channels in the hopes of finding something he could jerk off too. Or maybe he'd just jerk off. God, he was bored.

But then the front door had opened, and Amy Thompson had walked in. Alex had turned around on the couch and stared, recognizing her right away. She was nineteen years old now, almost twenty like Stephanie, but she looked every bit just like the last day Alex had seen her. The slender, shapely body, the reddish-gold hair, the crisp blue eyes… she was the girl of Alex's boyish dreams, and she was staying in this apartment with him for two weeks.

Alex had hopped up from the couch, stammering a greeting and trying to remember how charming he could sometimes be. He was charming. He could talk to girls, right? He hadn't done that well with Amy that first day, though. She remembered Alex, and the two greeted each other nicely enough. But before long both had run out of things to say; Alex realised with a start, later, that the same awkward feeling of a remembered, still-living crush wasn't just in his eyes.

It was in hers too.

So for a week or so they'd played a strange game, talking now and then and making sure to keep in touch with Stephanie, in case anyone called or came to visit and actually wanted to see or talk to her. Just as Steff had said, Amy kept pretty busy with her job at the Federal Market. Alex had spent most of the day sleeping, lying around, getting fucked out of his mind on pot- Stephanie had left him a bag and a bong, and Alex had been too bored to resist- and wishing he was getting fucked by Amy instead. God, was she beautiful.

Alex would sit on the couch or on a stool in the kitchen every day waiting for her to come home from work; he just had to get a look at that beautiful view of her front- and the even better one from behind. And then a wonderful thing had happened. Alex had started doing what he knew best; the little things. All those small things that girls loved, those tiny gestures that could eventually add up into something romantic if you knew what to look for, and how to take a hint. Amy had started noticing that Alex was always there to wake her up if she overslept or anything; one time she stayed up late getting a paper for Chemistry class done ahead of time and slept in the next morning. She looked at her watch in horror when she woke up at 11:00 the next morning; she was supposed to have been at work at ten! Amy had hurriedly thrown on her work uniform and rushed out of her room, meaning to hurry straight past the kitchen and out the front door- and that's when the smell of cooking eggs and bacon reached her nostrils. She stopped, surprised, and saw her sister's cute kid brother Alex at the stove, frying breakfast and humming something absentmindedly.

"I called your work, by the way," Alex said, glancing over at her. "Told 'em you were sick." He smiled sheepishly, as if he knew he'd done something dumb by doing that instead of waking her up. Truth was, he'd meant to wake her up, too. Alex had even gone so far as to walk quietly into Amy's room, pushing the half-open door a little wider and looking inside, seeing Amy lying under her covers, on that mattress down on the floor. She looked so beautiful when she was asleep. So sweet, so calm- like she was just a nice girl, and would never do something mean to anyone. Not on purpose.

Alex liked girls like her. They didn't throw spitballs at you in class, or laugh when their asshole jock boyfriends tripped you coming down the stairs. They just left you alone if that was what you wanted- an approach Alex wished more of his fellow students would take. Actions like his and Eric's plan- Vengeance Day, or V-Day- would not be necessary if more people thought like Amy did.

So why hadn't Alex woken her up?

"I remembered you said you had to finish that paper," Alex said, giving her a small smile. After a few moments he shrugged, trying not to look down at those gorgeous legs under those slender khakis, tried not to admit he was getting hard just thinking about what Amy would look like without those khakis- or anything else. Then Alex added, "Guess I just thought you could use the sleep." He smiled again, then looked a little more solemn when he saw Amy had still not moved, or said anything. Maybe this wasn't working as well as he'd hoped. "Sorry," Alex added softly. "Made you some breakfast," he added, hoping that would help.

Then, suddenly, something great had happened. It had been fast- Alex spent an hour at least thinking about it later, convincing himself it was real. Amy walked up to Alex where he was standing in the kitchen, put an arm around his shoulder, and kissed him on the left cheek of his face. "It's okay," she said to Alex, speaking softly to his ear. "You keep it."

Then she headed out, closing the apartment door behind her. Alex stood in stunned, absolute silence for five minutes before moving; he only remembered the eggs and the bacon when the sizzling and popping reached a fever pitch and he almost burned them. Alex had eaten the breakfast he was preparing in a daze, touching the spot on his cheek now and then and thinking in utter amazement, Amy kissed me.

It hadn't been a real kiss- nothing to shout to his buddies about. And it wasn't enough to make Alex forget his growing guilt about leaving Eric for two weeks; he had known right away that when he agreed to this, he'd be leaving Eric to the bullies for half a month, letting all the jerks who hesitated to mess with the two when both Alex and Eric were around have a free go at Eric for fourteen days. But then again… Amy had kissed him.

So now it was Friday night, the end of his first seven days here. Start of the weekend. Amy was on the midnight shift today, one of the only cashiers who would be working that late in the store. Alex had packed a can of Red Bull in her bag before she left. Just in case she needed it- and so maybe she would think of him while she was there.

Alex watched some TV for a while, but a while after dark got bored of that. The apartment was warm, the cool spring day not at all affecting the low-level heat on inside. It was warm enough, in fact, that Alex felt very relaxed. He began thinking about other things- and doing something he normally did not do unless everybody was out of the house, and he knew he'd have some time without being disturbed.

But Alex figured he'd better clean up some first. Shower- with a quick sniff at his armpit, Alex felt shamed for even thinking of Amy at a time like this. He should be clean if he was gonna even fantasize about her.

So Alex stripped, leaving his clothes carelessly on the couch where he slept. He walked through the apartment with a towel under his arm, grinning a little at this odd expression of freedom. The black-haired teen soon headed for the shower down the hall, though, and was enjoying the warm water for some time. The more Alex thought about it, the more he came to realize- he was crazy about Amy. He loved her looks, he loved her voice- he loved how nice she was. She'd always played basketball out back whenever Alex asked, shyly trying to drop a hint and tell her he liked her. She even pretended not to notice when she would kneel to tie her shoe and catch Alex peeking down her open tank top.

Alex hadn't brought his watch with him to the bathroom, but the wall clock said it was 10:30 at night. As Alex turned off the warm water and dried himself off, he felt his cock stiffen just a bit. Laughing a little when he realised he'd been thinking about Amy again, Alex tugged at himself a bit. He had always wondered if the erection he could get would impress any girls- what was big? What wasn't? Alex had kissed a couple girls, even gotten a hand-job one very lucky summer. But he'd gone no farther in almost four years of high school. Maybe he'd been afraid to. Or maybe he'd been waiting for the right girl- wanting his first to be something real special, if by any means he could help it.

The black-haired teen walked back towards the living room with nothing but a towel about his waist, then nothing at all as he took off the towel to rub it around in his messy, short-cut black hair. His hair was black down there, too. Did she like it that way? How did girls like these kinds of things- how did Amy?

Alex was still thinking about that when the key turned in the lock, and Amy walked through the front door.

"Uh," she said, blushing as she caught sight of Alex, and that was all Alex could say too as he covered himself. He'd still been a bit on the stiff side down there. Had she seen that? Oh, God was this embarrassing.

"S-sorry," Alex stammered, wrapping the towel hurriedly back about his waist. His words were failing him- failing him totally. He had no idea what he was supposed to say here. What if she'd seen him sporting a boner- and what if she guessed it was about her? How was Alex to know he hadn't just ruined his chances with his big sister's friend, the girl he'd dreamed of more than any celebrity since age thirteen?

"I got off work early," Amy said, coming into the apartment and putting her bag down in the kitchen. She turned on the dome light in the kitchen, and suddenly gasped a little as she saw what was on the counter. Alex had thought about hurrying in there to intercept her, but it was too late for that.

There was a bag of pretzel rods- Schneider brand, Amy's favourite since childhood- sitting on the counter with a little red bow wrapped around it. Written on the bow were the black Sharpie-pen words "FOR YOU :)". When he saw her pick up the bag of pretzels, Alex blushed furiously; he'd meant to be asleep when she got back. Or rather, lying on the couch pretending he was asleep, but listening carefully for signs of when Amy had seen his gift- a carefully chosen one, having known for years how much Amy treasured a good bag of pretzel rods.

Amy glanced across the counter at Alex, who just stood there, ashamed of his near-nakedness and wishing he had a real tan. And that he was built like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why didn't he have any damn hair on his chest? He had only those small, colourless hairs- like a girl's. Not much to brag about.

But the girl of his reams just smiled, shaking her head a little. She kicked off her work shoes, picking them up and tossing them down the hall and into her room without much effort. She looked again at the bag of pretzels, smiling again at the sweet, kind gesture by this boy who had probably been crushing on her for years, but always a little too shy to say it. Alex, cursing himself for freezing up and just standing there like he was rooted to the spot, looked back at her silently. He cleared his throat. "You oughta get some sleep."

Amy just smiled; she was off work tomorrow, and Alex was just such a nice boy. He was so cute. She liked him, and knew he liked her. He'd even bailed her out of trouble at work recently, something Amy's own roommates- besides Steff- didn't always do. And that boner he'd been sporting when she'd walked in- had he gotten like that thinking about somebody? Her, perhaps?

"You're so sweet, Alex," Amy said, and the younger teen just about melted. He smiled back a bit. "So are you," he managed to say, clichéd as that was. "I like you. A lot," he managed to say, feeling stupid and awkward.

Suddenly Amy took Alex by the hand, leading him down the hall to her room. Alex's eyes went wide, but he didn't say anything.

Amy flipped on the dome light, wishing it didn't look so crappy with its cheap glass covering and one out of four bulbs working. She wished she had a bit more money to spare- or rather a lot. She was ashamed of the cheapness of her room, regretted the fact that her mattress didn't even have a frame.

Alex stood awkwardly in the doorway, fastening up the towel fixed around his waist. Amy turned to look at him; he was no bodybuilder, but Alex was surprisingly strong, the muscles of his arms, chest and middle remarkably well-defined. He saw how she was looking at him and blushed furiously; Amy just laughed softly and went to him, taking the back of his neck in her hand. His eyes fluttered up, and Alex looked back at her with those dark brown eyes, wishing he could find the words to say but- as ever when these moments arrived- just a little too shy to do it.

"You're so sweet, Alex," Amy said quietly, and pulled the adolescent close. She kissed him, and he sighed a little and kissed her back. He tasted of mints.

The dark-haired teen reached up behind Amy's head while still kissing her, their lips opening and tongues fluttering into each other's mouths. He undid her hair-band and slipped it off, letting her wavy, reddish-gold blonde hair flow freely down to her shoulders, like it was meant to. She was still kissing him, caressing his shoulders and delighting in the feel of him. She felt his chest, one finger tracing a circle on his left nipple until he thought he'd go crazy. Alex made himself make a move, pulling her close with a hand to her back, loving the feel of her soft breasts against him when their chests touched. He let one hand slide down and begin caressing her from behind, feeling the seat of her khaki pants and again wishing he could feel what she was like without any pants at all.

Amy broke the chain of kisses after a few moments; Alex looked at her, surprised. He wanted more- wanted it so badly. But Amy just smiled sweetly at him again, pulling off her gray work polo and the white t-shirt underneath. She wore a hot-pink bra; just like Alex had pictured it. She saw him gazing at her chest, but didn't mind. She wanted him to. None of her friends knew it, but she'd never gone all the way with a boy before. Why not this one- the one who, instead of constantly taking her to the movies or to a restaurant and almost openly expecting 'something' in return, shyly did all these little things and hoped she'd see him the right way? Why not Alex?

Abruptly Amy dropped to her knees, facing Alex in the doorway. She easily undid the knot the teen had done at the front, now eye-level with the cute boy's crotch. He was excited; Amy didn't need to ask Alex to know that.

Alex looked down at Amy anxiously, his face heated and his adrenaline pounding. Was she- impressed with him? Was he small, or what? He'd never been able to know. But from the way Amy glanced up, her eyes widened a little, so Alex guessed he was on the bigger side. The erection he had was enormous, and she could see it; Alex let out a little moan when she took hold of him with one hand, her tongue darting out and licking the head as a thin stream of pre-cum leaked out. She then put the head in her mouth- just the head- and Alex had to stifle a scream.

God, did that feel good.

Then she opened her mouth and stuck his penis in; she was warm and wet, and Alex groaned loudly. He could feel every movement of her tongue, every time her lips slid up and down. It was gonna fucking drive him crazy. Alex set a hand on Amy's golden-red hair, pressing her head down just a little as she bobbed it up and down. Never had he felt anything this good, not in all his life- and he wanted more if it killed him. God, did he want more. Alex braced himself in the doorway, one hand on Amy's head as it continued bobbing up and down, the warm, wet feel of her mouth making Alex wonder if he was even gonna last long enough to feel where else she was like that. Or so he'd heard girls were.

Finally, Alex couldn't take anymore. He crouched down a little, and she stopped. Alex had to force himself to not beg her to keep going. Instead, he stood her up again, kissing her and not even giving a damn that he'd just been in her mouth. "Hey," Alex breathed, "you got any? Uh, you know- condoms?"

He'd been too stupid to bring any, and his face heated a little in embarrassment. But Amy just went to a drawer at her desk, placing a small foil package in his hand. "I got ya," she smiled, barely above a whisper. Alex took her hand, ignoring the cool feel of the air on his wet penis as he led her over to the bed. They lay down on it, and Alex set aside the square foil package to undo her belt, then slide off her pants and toss them aside.

Her underwear as hot pink all over, it seemed. Above and below. Alex hovered over her on all fours for a moment; his erection was enormous. She rose to kiss him, but Alex pushed her down gently, careful to set a hand on her smooth, pale belly rather than her chest. He was still being careful not to do anything she didn't want him to.

"You need some pleasure, too," Alex panted, smiling at her; she smiled back.

Alex sat down on the bed and fumbled with the package for a few moments, trying to remember what the hell you did to get it on right while Amy busied herself with getting into a comfortable position. He finally slipped it on, and it felt like he'd done it right. He turned back to Amy, hovering over her on all fours.

"I love you, Alex," she said, looking up at him.

He kissed her, reaching down to slip her panties off, then kissed her again and reached behind her bare back, struggling a little and laughing awkwardly as he fought to undo the strap. Finally he did. She was beautiful.

"I love you, Amy," Alex said, and he saw himself for a moment over a naked Eric, the two boys sporting boners like they'd never had in their lives… and so glad they had each other. So glad each of them was here.

He was above her, kissing her and touching her breasts; they were the softest things he'd ever touched. He kissed her on the neck, on the shoulders, and traced a circle with his tongue on her nipples until she gasped.

"I love you," Alex whispered. He wanted to say it first this time. She needed to hear him say it on his own.

"I love you," she repeated. And in that moment, she realised she'd been kidding herself about this kid for years. He was the nicest boy she'd ever met, even better-looking than some of her boyfriends. But she'd overlooked him for years, telling herself there was no way she and her friend's kid brother could ever happen.

But it was happening. And Amy had never been so glad of something happening, ever before in her life.

Alex lay down on her as he took her in his arms and kissed her; she spread her legs, hoping he'd take the message. The black-haired teen raised himself up, smiling at her and putting a hand on her thighs. Then he dove in, not letting himself hesitate or show how horribly nervous he was. That probably showed anyway. Alex had never gone this far with a girl before; he had no idea where in Amy's vagina he was supposed to stick himself. But from somewhere- perhaps instinct- he seemed to know. She felt ten times better- no, a hundred times better- there than he'd ever felt inside her mouth. The inside was warm and wet, hugging Alex's penis closely. He pressed forward until their hips touched and she moaned; Alex could feel his balls touch against her. He closed his eyes for a moment, lost in the soaring, unbelievable feeling he had. This felt good. Then Alex slowly moved his hips back, withdrawing until only the head of himself was still inside her. Then he slid forward again, into her as far as he could go. He did this once, twice, then accidentally slipped out on the third, pushing himself back in as they both moaned softly. They both moaned again, louder now as Alex's pace quickened and he pushed in harder. Alex started to grunt, a loud, animal noise as he breathed harder, and so did she. He tightened his lips to hide the sound, and so did she- so whoever was next door wouldn't know a pair of teenagers were fucking like rabbits.

"I love you," Alex gasped between kisses. "I love you." Alex was pumping his hips like crazy; the moans from both teenagers were barely concealed by the kisses they were sharing. Alex set his hands on both of Amy's breasts; they were so warm and soft, just like her. He squeezed as he pushed in and out, in and out. Alex sighed; he could hear Amy's bottom slapping against his hips. He was amazed at what he was doing; never had Alex imagined he could go this fast, or this hard. He moaned, and so did she. "I love you," Alex said, again and again, leaving out the name because he feared he might say Eric. He'd chosen this stunning blonde because there was another right there with him at school, one he wished he could see naked too. Amy looked like Eric and that was beautiful. She had to, because Alex needed to feel like it was Eric he was kissing.

Alex moved his hands off Amy's breasts, gripping the sheets beside her so tight his knuckles whitened. She gripped his back tightly, moaning loudly and letting her legs hang wide open as they started to climax. She'd never done this before- not in her life, not ever. It felt like she needed to pee, and that need was about to burst. Alex could feel her warmth, could feel this amazing, awesomely good feeling building up from his balls and leading up and into his penis; he jerked himself out of her, stripping off the condom just in time. They both held their breath, staying completely still as they both came. He felt slick and warm, feeling something gush out of him and onto her smooth, pale belly.

Then he collapsed beside her, panting hard. Amy was too; he could hear her labored breathing beside him. Alex put a hand around her, caressing her breasts softly. "That was my first, by the way," Alex breathed.

She sighed happily. "Mine too."

Alex threw the covers over them, getting up a moment to turn off the light and then slipping back underneath. He lay down on his back and she moved over, laying her head on his chest. Alex put his arms around her. He stayed that way for the rest of the night.

But what he was thinking about most of all, lying naked beside a tall, slender and stunningly beautiful nineteen-year-old he'd crushed on for years… what Alex was thinking about was Eric. His body ached with pleasure, and his balls throbbed; he didn't feel so bad now about leaving Eric for two weeks. He knew these two weeks would be rough for Eric, and Alex would have to tell him the truth of this someday. Somehow. Alex knew he'd done something wrong, let his best friend face the jerks at school alone while he chased after a childhood crush. But as he went to sleep with Amy in his arms, Alex knew every bit of this had been worth it.

It had been because she looked a little like Eric. And he could pretend it had been Eric he was with the whole time. Amy was special, and when Alex had said "I love you" to her, he'd meant it. He had a good feeling about his final week here; the black-haired teen had a feeling he was done sleeping on the couch now. But as much as much as he loved to think about all that, Alex had one more "I love you" to whisper that night. Amy, safe under the covers and in the arms of this sweet, wonderful boy, assumed it was for her, but it wasn't.

It was for Eric. Alex kept thinking about him when he didn't mean to, picturing him when he didn't want to. Amy had to look like Eric, because Alex needed to pretend it was him he was kissing. He didn't know why- or exactly what it meant. Amy was a wonderful girl, and Alex sensed some very nice things lay ahead for him in the next week- like being Amy's real roommate- not just staying in the same apartment- with some truly amazing benefits. A whole week full of wonderful days and nights lay ahead, and Alex couldn't have felt better about that. But he couldn't stick around- in any sense- and be Amy's boyfriend; he didn't even know if that was what she'd want. But it didn't matter. Alex was already taken anyway.

It had taken him a long while to realise it, to fully understand it… but Alex knew Eric meant a lot to him. More than his first with a girl, more than Amy- more than life itself. More than anything else in the world. Alex knew nobody would ever understand it, even if they knew. Maybe that was what Alex had come into the city for; in his private hopes and questions about Amy, he was also asking about Eric. Maybe through Amy, Alex had been trying to find out just what Eric really meant to him. He fell asleep with Amy's slender, naked form asleep in his arms, her head on his chest, knowing he'd found the answer.

Notes: The initial inspiration for this story came from two others: "Sorry But I Lied" by the-beginning-of-the-end, an "Elephant" Movie fanfic that mentions Alex taking two weeks to go into the city and 'visit his sister'. It's mentioned that he meets up with a nineteen-year-old blonde girl, and strongly implied that he has sex with her. And most of all, "Sorry But I Lied" suggests Alex has a certain attraction to Eric. Enough so that he chose a blonde girl with blue eyes, one who looked a little like Eric- because he needed to be able to pretend it was Eric he was really kissing. The other story is "An Unexpected Confrontation" by ArielleLN, a "Catcher in the Rye" Book fanfic. Much of the sexual content of this story was inspired by the same sort of content in that one.