Paper Kitten Nightmare ~Nabari no Ou fanfic~
"Miharu, Miharu," I mutter, repeating his name as I reach around for him in the darkness. I'm blinded by something further than darkness, rupturing my head and then tightening it to the point I could never tell if those listless tears that fell onto my dead cheeks were really tears. It felt strange to be in this room, my heart leaping when I heard the creek of footsteps on the floor. I want to say his name again, wide eyed and waiting, still reaching out for him to embrace me, to wipe away these nightmares that cloud my mind. I watch as he approaches me, but glided by with little more of a slight run.
"Sora..." he says. I feel a great pain collide inside me as I fell over, so startled and confused I would've looked like a corpse, clawing the floor with my fingernails. Why can't I just scream to show my frustration? The person say my old name, the name of someone who had long since died, was no other than that boy who played with me, the one I called an angel when he found me. He was my brother, I reminded myself quickly, and the way he fell silent shown he felt something was wrong. His throat gurgled, choking back the tears. Maybe I had never been born? I don't bother to look anymore, hearing him stutter and then laugh nervously. I heard a grand meow, making my heart flutter. I remembered Yukimi had a cat at one point, the one he named me after. I'd never gotten along with one, but the temptation of reaching out and petting this one was too great. Tsukasa creaked past me again, the cat's tiny head peeping up over his shoulder blade. I say goodnight to my brother as he walks away, the sound of him shutting his door leaving me in utter silence. Weakly, I crawl my way to the window, opening the curtain with my little strength. But the thin material slipped like sand through my non-gloved fingers, and at once I knew I was no longer there. Sora didn't exist, Yoite didn't exist, I never existed. I crumble to my knees, ripping at my hair. The sound of the darkness is unbearable, its whimsical laugh filling me with chaos. I wanted to look at myself, and just for a second imagined I saw the outline of a child's limbs. I'd reverted back to Sora. Or rather, I'd been disguised as Yoite too long now.
I stood up, staggering side to side, unable to keep control of my balance. At my height now, I'm still Yoite, towering over the furniture Tsukasa owned. I'm still me inside. Miharu hadn't been able to erase my soul, though my body would now have been reduced to sparkling ashes, white like the snow that glazed the outside universe. I tenderly stroke my left hand, closing my eyes and sighing. I wanted to at least see what Miharu was like now that I was no longer with him, how Yukimi and Kazuho was doing. I wanted to see what everyone to do with Miharu was doing.
Why I'd ended up in Tsukasa's apartment left me a tad confused, but I suppose this was the devil's wish? Because I'd killed so many people, I should disregard my past life and watch over like a despairing black crow on those of whom I admired and hated? Sorrow was not an emotion I needed right now, running away like a dying angel from the shadows of the night, still laughing at me with their haughty voices. I trip as I reach the door, remembering I can't touch anything anymore. Was there any way for me to escape? I get to my feet, my head falling to my shoulder as I kicked the door. My leg fell through, as well as the rest of my body as I fled into the outdoors, but the door had never been opened. Outside I can here the cars whizzing by, annoying me with their presence. I pause and look all ways, hearing a coughing sound from a man walking by. I try to recall where Yukimi lived, closing my eyes, but nothing much came back to me. Nothing but the soft feel of the church Sora had visited. He was probably still lingering there, waiting for Tsukasa to play with him again. Always a piece of me would be there, the only place that comforted me other than the little boy who'd befriended me. His fragile figure reminded me too much of Sora, the reason I became so fixated on him. How two feminine, skinny boys like us been given such terrible gifts? The whirring cold annoys me further, hugging my arms in my long black jacket. "Miharu..." I whisper silently, when that cold feeling vanishes.
I feel terrified and exasperated when I open my eyes, that darkness closing in. But the only difference in this was I distinctly heard the familiar breathing pattern of the boy I'd been searching for. If it had been a miracle, my soul had been swept here with only me wishing it, and as I glance around for him, I see his sleeping figure wrapped in a blanket on a futon. Calmed immediately by the sight of him, I rush beside him, falling to my knees, watching his chest heave as he breathed. His closed eyelids and long black lashes, lavished in the spare raven locks of his hair. I can tell he's been sleeping far too long, and I could not wake him. My trembling dead fingers touch his shoulder, and as his lips part I know he'll never say my name again. A black creature pops up beside him, as he rolls over to brush his fingers against its dark fur. He mumbles something again, and excitingly I hear him say my name.
"Yoite."
I smile grimly, because it's the kitten he's talking to. Surprised by its large yellow eyes, so enticing and innocent, I wondered if I could touch its head, as it meows at me. Afraid still, I touch its cute head, and find I can feel it. I also feel Miharu's fingers touch mine, making me jump back but my hand stayed in place. His breath and lips brushed against them, and I haul them back to my mouth. The light flickers on, and I hear Yukimi yawn as he enters.
Except there's something different about Yukimi. Without remembering me, he seems more troubled than before, and from that mothering stare he gave the sleeping figure of Miharu he almost appeared more mature than before, squatting to move back Miharu's bangs. I smile again, glad to see they're both OK and that he's taking care of my Miharu. I see Owl nearby, another pained look in his eyes as he watched Miharu. Everyone was concerned about him, and never once did they mention my name. Despite my happiness, I can't help but feel left out. Those glistening large eyes stare up to me, indifferent as it meows again. I chuckle faintly as I head into the shadows again, unable to take my eyes off Miharu. Would he be lonely?
No, he couldn't be. I kiss my fingers where his lips had brushed, slipping away, Yoite still watching me. I wanted to tell it to take care of Miharu for me, even though that was obvious. There was no way the cat could describe to a human my feelings after death, and still I loved that boy. I crookedly wave my fingers, engulfed again as Yukimi looks over his shoulder at me, blinking. The light goes out, and I'm gone again. But this time, I'll never be able to return.