She fixated her gaze on him, ignoring the array of colourful poker chips in front of them. But Chuck continued to play on in silence, not having spoken a single word to her since she'd arrived. In fact, he only seemed to move to occasionally place his bet or to give her a confused glance now and again. His expression radiated an almost tangible sense of determination. Before, she'd thought he'd just come running back into her arms. Now she knew she was wrong to have assumed, even for a moment, that it would be easy, that he would take her back immediately. However she had expected to talk and he would not spare her a sentence.
She lowered her eyelids momentarily and released a breath she was unaware she was retaining. He was still staring at his hand, his burning eyes flickering between pain, shock and what she feared to be anger. Blair felt a sharp pang of guilt coil in her stomach for making him suffer such anguish, he had made it clear to her the last time they'd seen one another that it wouldn't make him happy just to be with her anymore. He needed something else, something Bart Bass had taken from him.
Whilst she had been blankly reminiscing about their history, Chuck seemed to have accumulated a substantial number of poker chips and it was clear to her that he was preparing to leave the game. But she couldn't let him walk away from the game. Metaphorically of course, frankly, Blair was quite happy to ditch the casino. There was some oaf directly to her left who kept accidentally brushing past her.
Chuck pushed his chair back with his feet, signalling his departure, so she followed suit and did the same. He turned to her,the realisation finally sinking in that she was going to continue to follow him despite their silence. Chuck cleared his throat and graciously extended an Armani silk clad arm to her and she linked hers closely with his, savoring his touch before all the feelings eventually came out and she lost the right to touch him. She played the scene over and over in her head. "I'm all in." the last speech before the painful silence she'd endured for what felt like eons. Once they'd reached the suite, she would break the silence, but not now, not whilst it was touch and go as to whether or not he'd even allow her to step through the door. The door to the lift opened and they stepped inside, surrounded by walls of mirrors, anyway they looked, they would see each other. She wasn't sure if this made her feel more or less secure. As before, they remained quiet, she wished for a fleeting moment that she could read his mind, but concluded quickly that he may not be thinking what she wanted to hear.
They stood before his suite, he slipped the plastic key card into the mechanical slot, waited until the LED changed from daunting red to even more daunting green. Chuck opened the door, inviting her in with his palm. She didn't hesitate to step inside, he needed to know that when she'd promised him her everything, she'd meant it. Blair caught the hem of her dress on her heel and tripped uncharacteristically, he immediately reached to steady her, the feel of his strength against her bare arms was electric. She wanted to relish the moment but once she was upright and steady he let go of her and walked to the couch - it was large enough for an entire family and their guests. He removed his black jacket and threw it over the arm of the couch before stalking towards the bar to pour them both a drink. She could smell the heavy scent of whiskey, the sloshing amber liquid filled a small percentage of the crystal glass but he knew how much was enough without even thinking about it. Chuck was undoubtedly an experienced drinker. He brought her a stirred martini, she noted with a flutter in her stomach that he still remembered how she liked her scotch, not at all. She felt slightly more positive before she realised that she was almost certainly thinking wishfully; they'd grown up together, of course he'd know what she liked to drink, he probably was the first person to provide her with anything alcoholic. Still, she refused to dwell on the little things and after she had swallowed a healthy dose of her drink she saw fit to end the tense silence.
He contemplated her, his look pensive.
"So." She cleared her throat, raised her eyebrows and peered around the room, aiming to look at anything except his expression. He didn't speak. "This is a lovely suite, Chuck. Of course, never as classy as the Empire-" She stopped in her tracks. Bringing up his hotel was a fatal error, what with Bart working against him.
"Look." She sighed. "You know why I came here. Don't you, Chuck?" He cocked his head to one side, took a deep breath in and slowly released it before he spoke. He was mentally and physically preparing himself.
"Blair." He simply said her name, but it was enough to spark their magnetic attraction to one another and she remembered how much she missed his voice.
"Chuck." She pressed, placing one hand on her hip. His eyes darted to her hand and back to her face.
"Yes, I do know why you came tonight. But it doesn't mean that…" before he had the chance to say anything else she'd interrupted him.
"Shh." she placed her index finger to her lip and gazed at him with pleading eyes. He nodded and let her continue. "I meant what I said last month. I love you, I love you and I want us to be together!" She could feel her eyes pricking with tears and he shut his in response. She hated it, it meant that she couldn't tell what he was thinking and he'd probably done it on purpose.
"I know I've hurt you." She continued and his eyes flickered open, they were full of sadness. She could feel his pain. "I've chosen not to be with you too many times. I know it was wrong, Chuck. I shouldn't have hurt you like that." Blair felt the tears fall from her eyes but didn't care enough to wipe them away. Her raw emotions were what he needed to feel. "I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time and not marry him I would. You know I would." She saw Chuck wince at the mention of the prince. She needn't bring his name into this.
"And what about Humphrey?" He questioned her, his eyes finally locking onto hers.
"Mistake." She responded. He sighed and placed his glass on the side, he avoided coming too close to her as he maneuvered his way to the couch to sit. He rested is elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. "Please." her voice shook, wracked by an uncontrolled sob.
"Blair, I… you know how I feel. How I've always felt about you. But too much has happened."
She shook her head "We'll be a team, we'll take your father down together!" she offered. He looked up at her through his hands and beckoned for her to sit down. She walked the few steps to his side tentatively, as if he were a bomb ready to explode at her touch.
"It's not all about my Father. It's about you, Blair. It's about you crushing me at every turn and not even caring." He snarled. She recoiled at his tone.
"I do care. I always have." She implored, he turned his face from her.
"So when exactly did you care about me in the process of promising me forever, then ripping it away when I almost died? When did you care about me when I begged you not to marry your prince-" he spat the word with a hatred she'd never heard him address her with before, "and when you kissed Hum Drum Humphrey in my room after telling me you had to stay in your marriage?" He stood and ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh and the time you told me not to hurt your precious Humphrey and that you weren't in love with me?"
Blair faltered on her heels and felt her insides turn to mush. She watched the rise and fall of his chest.
"I was wrong. I was so wrong to hurt you. I guess I just thought that you'd always be there."
"That's supposed to make me feel better?" He sank back down into the couch. "You thought no matter what, I've always got Chuck to fall back on if plan A fails?"
"No, no!" She cried. "It's not like that. I just wanted you, I was scared. I love you so much, Chuck, more than I knew was possible and it scared me so I ran away from it. But I know now that being scared is so much better than not having you."
"I don't know if going into a relationship scared is really a good thing." He muttered bitterly. "Trust is supposed to be important and I don't think either of us have that."
"I'm not scared because I don't trust you, Chuck. I'm scared because I don't trust myself. I can't lose you again, if I even have you now."
Blair sat next to him, stiff and unrelaxed, his eyes were filled with moisture and she sank into his side. His arms encircling her in a soft embrace as they both cried silent tears. After a while, she reached up and wiped his face delicately with her thumb and caressed his angular jaw with her palm. She had missed his smooth skin and tame hair. Blair was sure this momentary lapse in his anger did not signal the end of their separation so she took advantage of the situation and kicked her shoes of, throwing her legs onto the couch and snuggling further into his arms. She inhaled his scent. He smelled strongly of peppermint and scotch, a familiar scent, one she had grown accustomed to. He shifted and she turned to face him, they were still holding one another.
"We still have a lot to talk about, Blair." He reminded her softly.
"I know." She assured him. "But for now, let's forget everything else." He relaxed his tense posture and bent down to place a soft kiss on her cheek, sending sparks of electricity through her body. His touch suddenly felt amazing and she craved it more than ever.