Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon; never will. P
Author's Notes: This was inspired after watching Digimon after a few months of not seeing Ken. It was "The Emperor's New Home" and I felt like I had to write this for some reason, I dunno. And expect some OoC. Okay, that's a lie. Except a lot.
It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way
Every day I watch you in your regal uniform; so blunt, yet exotic. But this is what bothers me the most. Just you... In that outfit. It frightens me. Why can't you see that? Why are you so close-minded? Why, why, why?
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Staring at you makes my heart literally skip a beat. I remember watching you on TV whenever I could, or even reading an article about you in the newspaper and in a magazine. You were so popular. No wonder I liked you so much. For a while I considered it a little innocent crush, you know. A little tinge of jealously blended with envy to make a false emotion. I would shrug at the thought sometimes, wondering if I had lost my mind to fall for someone like you. At least I know that I wasn't wrong for doing it... Right?
Whenever I found myself drowning into your indigo eyes, I would wander off into a fantasy land that only held you and me. Us. Together. Alone. A happy couple? Yes. I even recall one where we were getting married. It's stupid, I know, but who can't dream?
Oh, look, there you are again! A smile approaches my lips as I catch a glimpse of you on the news. It's ironic on how smooth you talk when you try to cover up your hidden rage, but I'm not totally surprised. After all, you're the Digimon Kaiser--my natural born enemy. But that's the thing, I don't want to fight you. All I want is to cradle you in my arms every night when you sleep over my house. Another one of my various fantasies. Heh. If only one of them would come true.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Hm? What's that thing vibrating in my back pocket? Oh, it's just my D-Terminal. An email of course. Koushiro wants us all at the school, says that there are more Control Spires than there were yesterday. Well, there goes an opportunity to see you in person. I would never pass it up, not ever.
I rush towards my elementary school, dashing up the staircase and into the computer room. Everyone is already there. Typical. I drain out their useless words, not like they care about what I have to say or anything. The brunette known as Hikari holds up her D-3 to the computer screen, the Digital Port opens. Lights engulf the room, along with us as well. And as usual, I fall onto my back when he exit out of a TV portal in the Digital World, along with everyone else on top of me. One by one they get off. Takeru, with his usual kind self, is the only one who actually bothers to help me up. Whatever. He must think that calling him 'T.M.' or 'T.Y.' is some kind of way of flirting. Well it's not! I don't want Takeru, I want you and only you!
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I can't help but think that I hurt Takeru's feelings sometimes, we kinda fight a lot like the way Taichi and Yamato do. It's depressing, really. I really don't pay attention to what I do anymore, which is probably why everyone hates me. The hatred is in their eyes. But never in yours... Yours hold more feeling no matter how dull and cold you intend them to be. So, please, I beg of you, look at me more then at them! Well, when I see you of course.
They're calling me--a Spire is nearby. So you must be there to. All I wish is for a glance of you, I don't care which part that is. I can't help but notice that I'm obsessing over you, of all people, you. What makes you special besides your already unique talents and beautiful features? I know nothing of you, I know not the real you at all, so how can I feel this for you? You're so... Ergh, sadistic and uncaring. It's who you portray yourself as, you've always had since we met you. Since I met you. But why can't I force myself to loathe you terribly with all my heart and soul?
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
There are dreams and thoughts that I've never told anyone before. Maybe one day, when we're together, I can tell you. We'll laugh at them and eventually make out afterwards. The idea itself is intriguing. If only you knew right now how I felt about you...
A cackle echoes the lands and bounces into my ears. It took you long enough to get here... I roll my eyes and try to find the source that I've been longing for. Our Digimon stop their attacks on the Spire and focus upon a royal blue and silver figure that rested on an Airdramon's back. Ken...
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
My feet stay planted on the floor as you jump off your flying slave and onto the ground as well. Already my palms began to sweat. How do you make this kind of affect on me so easily? Kami-san. I shake my head to stare up at the one whom I've fallen for. Apparently you glance back at me, your eyes flickering behind your golden visor. And for what seemed to be an eternity, your lips crack into a brief smile before falling into a deep scowl. Wait--what! No, I must be going insane.
I pretend that I didn't see that lovely thing and glare at you with false anger. But I know that you know that my expression is merely an act. You yourself are an actor, so why can't you see right through me? That isn't so much to ask. It's not even hard to do. Heck, I already know that you're playing an act as well. You're messing with my mind and making do things that I don't want to do. Have feelings that I never wanted. It's all like this so you can break me easier. I am the leader after all, so go ahead and do whatever you want. Just...
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
...Don't hurt me...
I'm in enough pain as it is. Why can't you see that? A broken heart cannot heal unscathed, don't you know that? Emotional affliction is worse than that of physical. And you're hurting my heart and emotions. Can't I just forget about you and make my problems go away?
There you go again, waving your whip around. You don't know how sexy you look like that, just being carefree and happy... If you want to call it that. A smirk plays on your lips as you slash our partners around like an angry child would to their dolls. But that's exactly you are--a hurt child who wants to take their pains away by hurting others. I know how you feel, don't hide it from me. Let me help you.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I held Veemon, who is gashed and bleeding. To think that you did this to him... My little buddy. Everyone else held their partners as well as you tap your foot irritably to us. What more do you want? We have nothing, I tell you, nothing!
Tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes. This wasn't fair! I pound my gloved hand onto the sand that I stood upon, releasing my hidden fury. Why couldn't you just leave me alone already? You've done enough in my life; hurt me and the ones I've loved--including yourself. Please, I'll do whatever you want, just stop this madness!
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
And then my wish came true. Time literally froze over. Everything became black and white and still. There was no sound, no movement, no nothing. Just you and me. I release Veemon, who remained in the position without falling over, and you amble to me. I look up and see that your eyes are no longer hidden, but out into the open. For me and me only? Is this what you want?
Without notice, you take my hand and stare at it as though you hadn't got the slightest clue in the world on what it was. I found it rather cute--that rare and innocent look upon your features as you took your glove off. A shiver ran down my spine as our skin made contact for the first time. It was marvelous, your skin was like silk against mine. So smooth as well...
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
But did you forget already? We're enemies, you and I. Sadly it's the only truth I live by, but I want to stand by you forever like this. Who cares about the world now. You stopped it for me, for me...
"Ecstasy," you whisper into my ear, your hot breath tickling my bare neck.
All the air I was holding was released into one deep and relieved sigh. So you did care. Interesting. Now... Please tell me your true feelings. Show me your true colors so I know the person whom I'm in lo--
"But I don't love you," you cut in on my thoughts, knowing what I was thinking. "I'm sorry." I knew... I knew it was all too good to be true.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
You release my hand and cover yours back up with your discarded glove. Your visor reappears back on your face and you tilt your head towards another direction. With a snap of your fingers, time starts back up again. I was there to catch Veemon as he fell from a short distance in the air while I was replaced in another dimension of fake hopes. As I look up, I realize that you are gone... Long gone. Everyone else fail to notice. They're too busy with their partners' health and conditions. Yes, I am also concerned for the little blue guy. But you still linger about in my mind.
The rest of the 'destined decide to leave--they believe their work here is done for today. I don't think so; we didn't do a thing. I sigh and make my way through the portal along with the others, and as unusual, there's a dog-pile at the end. But I really don't care anymore. Nothing matters in my life, it's all a joke now.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
It's really hard knowing that the person who you love doesn't love you back. I've felt rejection many times before, but never were as hard as this. So what makes you so different? Why won't you let me go of your puppet strings? You've done enough, taunt someone else. I'm worthless, stupid, submissive, and most of all broken. Completely broken. I know I can't do the same to you--my conscience won't let me... And I can't bring myself to do it either.
When I got home, I made it into my bedroom and slammed the door so hard I thought I had heard a crack. I was forever alone now. My dreams destroyed and wasted. For some reason I knew I should've known better than to follow my heart; my brain told me that I would get hurt in the end. Yet I continued to follow my beating drum, who told me that I should proceed on with creating my future. Even sometimes your heart can be wrong, that I must admit.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Now I just stare out through my window and reflect on my past. Like any good that would do. But it somewhat soothes the pain deep inside of me. Then I feel that vibration on my butt again, I jump from the rude awakening. Oh, it's just my D-Terminal again... I bet there's another Spire or something. Who cares?
I flip open the device, wearily reading the message. At first it didn't catch my eye's attention, then I skim down to the bottom to see who it was from. It was... You? Huh? I reread the text quickly, not believing the words you sent me. This must've been a trick. You told me that you didn't love me, so why do you wish to see me tonight? There's not way I'm going.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Okay, so maybe I lied about that. Hm. Well there you are without your visor on again. Yours eyes boring deeply into mine. Despite that it's late into the night in the Digital World, I can still see you in the shadows. The outline of your lean bodice emerges from the darkness and into the little light of a random lamp post. A word escapes your lips but I can't hear it. I don't think I want to hear it anyway. But you repeat it.
"Love," you say out of the blue, "is a funny thing, isn't it?" You can say that again, but don't.
I shrug and cross my arms over my chest and look over at some dumb tree. "I guess," I reply simply, licking my lips.
"Heh. Yeah, I guess too," you muse, walking closer towards me. "I wasn't kidding when I said I was sorry."
"Hardly."
"Hm..." You place your index finger under my chin and gently force me to look back at you. "I don't play around with things like this, Daisuke." I shiver at both the soberness of your tone and because of the fact that you said my first name.
"And I don't either," I spat out, shaking my head. "Go away. Leave me be."
You shake your head as well and give a sigh of defeat. "Fine, have it your way," you say flatly, tossing my head away from you. Though I do nothing. I'm allowing you to go free. You were in my grasp, I could have my answers at last. But I let you go. Why? Come back!
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Did you just read my mind? You stop and turn back around to walk towards me. But your amble is quite fast and cunning, which scares me. Sighing once more you press your body against mine. And your arms around my neck. I say nothing and quirk a brow at you. Was this a joke? You shake your head and bury your face into my throat. I chuckle, your spiky hair tickles. After a moment of doing nothing, I wrap my own arms around your slender waist. So you know of my dreams, do you? Well, I guess that's a good thing... If only you knew of--
My mind stops. My heart pounds vigorously against my breastbone as you raise your head and look straight into my eyes. I could feel your breath on my lips. But that's not everything on there. A warm sensation engulfs me as your pale lips touch mine briefly. An invitation? I press mine back against yours. A chaste kiss. My first. And it was taken by you.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
You pull back first and lick your lips. I just watch with a smirk. "I thought you didn't love me...?" I tease, but you frown. Deeply.
"I... Don't..." you shake out, avoiding my eyes.
I stare at you in disbelief. "Then what was that all about!" I yell, clenching my fists. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
"No, that's not it. Daisuke--"
"I'm tired of being harassed and being your mind puppet. You made me love you and you can make me hate you too. So just do it already!" My eyes burn with rage and angry tears.
But you grab my wrist before I could walk away. "You don't understand my intentions. I never made you love me, that I promise you. It was on your freewill to do it," you muse.
I don't believe you anymore. I don't believe anything. "Then what was that kiss for? To make me lust after you some more?" I retort, shaking loose of his grasp. Why was I making things harder on myself?
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
You release your grip and place your finger tips on my lips. "Because I wanted to know."
"To know what?" I reply, trying to be calm.
Another sigh. God, just get to the point already so I can go and cry into the comfort of my pillow. Haha, sarcasm is funny.
You shift your stance and lick your lips again as you try to find the right words to say. "To know if you did have feelings for me... By now of course you know that I ran away from my home." I nod. "I ran away because the world was cruel. Everyone was cruel. To me. And after I've noticed all the attention you focused upon me, I wanted to see if this was true. Now I know that you do love me..."
I quirk a brow once more. "And your point, Kaiser?"
"Maybe, just maybe, I can fall in love with you too?" It was more of a question than a statement, I could tell.
Wait... Whoa. Back up there! "Huh?" I blurt out. You smile meekly.
"I've never been loved before... The feeling is nice. At least I know that someone cares because I am me and not some prodigy." You chuckle nervously.
"I... See..." I bite my lower lip. "Yeah. You can fall in love with me." Your face glows brightly.
"Come on, it's late, we gotta go," I state, you nod simply. "And Ken?"
You glance at me as we start to walk. "Yeah?"
"Do you have to keep being the Kaiser? Can't you stop?" I ask, your smile fades into a thin line. That's a no.
"I can't. I'm sorry." I shrug.
"That's okay. I still love you," I reply cheerfully.
Your smile comes back and we hold hands. "I... Love you too," you say in the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. Like angels. So get use to it, you're going to be saying those words a lot now.
Maybe it can be this way.