I don't know why I wrote this . . . I just felt like I needed to . . . It is very short but I just let my hands type away whatever they wanted.
Hope you enjoy. Sorry it is a little dark . . . and Suicide is NEVER the answer if you are having troubles SPEAK to someone!
I don't own anything only the story line
-xoxox-
Lucy's POV
"Are you alright Lucy?" They ask
"Yes" I reply simply . . . and then they walk away. It's like The question repeats it's self over and over again. Every day I get asked the same question but they only listen to my answer, they don't look in my eyes. They don't see the pain and they don't see the tears that want to be shed.
Its funny how one simply word said and everyone believes you. But I guess I have been doing it for a while
Smiling
Talking
Laughing…..
Lying
Lying
LIES
ITS ALL LIES . . . and yes they can't see it.
I cry
I scream
I have depression
I have anxiety
I don't eat
I don't sleep
And if I do, i wake up crying about the nightmares I usually have.
I'm broken and can't be fixed.
I'm dying inside
I want to end my life.
Im going to . . . and no one is going to stop me.
I'm sitting on the edge of my school building writing a letter to whoever finds my body first. My hands are shaking but my face is smiling. It is True smile one that has not been see by anyone for many years. even I have not seen my true smile.
I am going to miss my friends, Erza, Levy, Gray and . . . Natsu. The man I fell in love with. His smile, His pink hair and his cheery attitude never failed to make my feel alive. Even if it was only for a second, it was the best feeling I ever had.
I finished writing my Letter and sealed it in an envelope. I stood up and placed the pen down neatly along with my baggy oversized jumper. My scars, new and old, cuts, old and fresh were now showing for the world to finally see. They only scars they could not see where the ones on my heart.
I was now wearing a sky blue dress that reached just above my knees. It also had a white ribbon around the waist and I had a matching white ribbon in my hair
I stood on the edge and started dancing and acting free. Free from everything. Forgetting everything slowly and started to feel at peace. I started singing the sond 'Dark Enough' (Skip the song if you want)
There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who I swear I've never seen
Do anything but laugh
She's tall and she's smart
Beautiful and strong
And when someone's down
She tries to fix what is wrong
How does someone so perfect,
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...
How does someone so loving,
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough
There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who's eyes are glazed over
Like newly cut glass
The ghost of a smile
Hints at her face
And she laughs as they tell her
"Who's on First Base"
How does someone so perfect,
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...
How does someone so loving,
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough
There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who's sad that you find it rare
To see her smile or laugh
Her frends tells her jokes
Like tthat one with the guy
But all she does is close her eyes
And enter her mind
How does someone so perfect,
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...
How does someone so loving,
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough
For her imperfections...
There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who yesterday took
The breath that was her last...
She wrote a few notes:
I'm sorry I didn't say,
But my mind was messed up,
You couldn't save me anyway...
And to the girl in the back of the class,
Who feels the way I did...
How does someone so perfect,
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more.
When I stopped singing I picked up the letter and held it in my hands as tight as I could so I knew I wouldn't let go.
I looked down and noticed a few people looking at me. I smiled and waved. I don't even know why I did it. I looked down one last time and took a deep breath.
Then I Jumped
I was falling and I felt free. I felt happy knowing I was going to be away from this horrible place. I started to remember all this times I felt a tiny bit happy.
I remembered the times when Erza would bash Natsu's and Gray's heads together and casually go back to eating her strawberry cake. I remembered all the times Gray would strip and then have to run for his life, screaming like a little girl, from Juvia. I remembered the times me and Levy would talk about our favourite books of when she fangirled over a new chapter of my novel.
And then there was Natsu . . . I remembered they times he smiled at me. The times he snuck into my house uninvited and I would kick him out. I remembered the time I started to fall in love with him. It was after he helped my when I was being bullied and how her protected me. I love him.
But then the bad times came into my head. Like the times Natsu was not with me and I would get bullied. Then I also started to remember the past. The time my Dad was abusive. I remembered when he punched me. When he kicked me or beat me until I was out could and surrounded by darkness. The times her would only give me one piece of bread and a glass of water each day for a whole week and also when he would throw me down the stairs and I would get broken bones.
But I don't need to worry about that now because I GIVE UP!
I let a single tear fall from my eyes before I hit the ground and was surrounded but darkness. . .
I opened my eyes to see a bright light before it faded and I could see properly. Is this what it feels like to die? I looked around and saw my body on the floor covered and surrounded by a thing red substance . . . blood and my body out of place.
My face was pale and my face was violently bare. And Yet seeing this made me smile . . .
I was free from all worries. I looked around and saw people surrounding my life less body. There were many different reactions from people. Some were weeping. Some people just stood there in shock and with disbelief written on their faces. But my friends where the worst. They were screaming, crying, punching and kicking tings.
But seeing Natsu made me start to cry. He was holding my life less body for dear life. Talking to me, trying to see if I was actually dead. He had tears streaming down his face landing on my forehead. He started to shake my body, screaming at me in the hopes t would magically bring me to life. But soon he gave up. He stopped shaking me and just held me one last time that her could.
My sight started to fade but that last thing I saw Natsu do was kiss my forhead and say . . . . .
"I love you"
And then I was alone. Stuck in this never ending darkness. I dropped to my knees and and started to bawl my eyes out screaming to Natsu, in the hopes her could hear
"I LOVE YOU NATSU!"
I didn't know how long I was crying for but after a while I saw another bright white light that had a tint of gold. I shut my eyes trying to block the blinding light and when it was gone I opened my eyes to see blackness again.
But something changed there was a sound almost like a cry which made me surprised . . .
I listened closely to hear what it was saying. I could faintly hear that noise crying her name again and again.
It wasn't just a sound . . . it was a person.
I walked closer and closer to the sound but after a while I was so shocked to see . . .
"Natsu . . . NATSU!" I screamed. He was there right in front of me. Is it true? Is her actually here or am I going insane? . . . I don't care he's here and I want to see him.
"Lucy . . . LUCY! YOU ARE HERE!" he shouted as he sprinted towards me and embraced me in a tight hug. We both stood there in each other's embrace and started to cry.
After some time I realized something that brought a lot of sadness to me.
"Natsu?" I asked trying to hold back tears. He hummed in reply.
"H-how d-did you g-get he-here?" I aske with my voice shaking.
"I think you know the answer to that"
"but . . . w-why?" I said
"Because you're my world. My light and because you were gone I had nothing, everything was still. I felt numb. I promised I would protect you and I failed I promised I would make you happy and failed so I thought I would protect you in the next life. A life where we both can be happy and noting bad could happen . . . I did it because I love you Lucy. And I always will and after I read the letter and found out you feel the same way I couldn't take it . . . I had to see you. so I'm here."
-xoxox-
Normal POV
When Natsu was done talking he looked down at Lucy. She had tears down her face but was smiling. It was a smile that Natsu has never seen before.
He lent down and passionately kissed Lucy. They both let all feelings they have been holding for each other take control of their lips and show one another how they truly feel. Slowly a light started to glow between the couple but they were too busy to notice. They were to happy.
The light slowly surrounded the two bodies as they disappeared to their life in each other's arms, happiness and . . . love.
-END—
Lucy's letter
To the person that finds this first,
I'm sorry you had to see me like this . . . and im sorry for being worthless, broken, shy, sad, depressed and suicidal. I have voices in my head hat keep getting louder an I could not help it. I wanted to be free. To be free of worries and hatered I felt in this world.
I am sorry that I did not say but I guess my mind was to messed up to save.
But keep living and if there is anyone that felt the same way I did. . . don't keep it inside. Tell some one.
I'm going to miss you all, even the bullies. But most of all im going to miss you, Erza , Levy, Gray and Natsu. I'm going to miss all the fun times we had the times where I felt even a little bit of happiness and when I felt alive with you guys.
And Natsu if you read this letter . . . I'm sorry. I know you said you would protect me but you could only protect me if you knew and I kept it all inside. It's not your fault. I was too broken. But I want you to know that I love you so, so very much. I love you smile, the butterflies in my stomach you gave me. I'm going to miss you and I LOVE YOU!
Goodbye world
The fallen angel Lucy xox
-xoxox-
Suicide is NEVER the answer if you are having troubles SPEAK to someone!
Thank you for reading. Sorry if you don't like it and if it's not good. It was just a quick one-shot because I have not updated my other fanfiction