DISCLAIMER: Uhm… I didn't come up with the show.
NOTE: Thanks to my buddy who taught me this game!
SUMMARY: Cassidy has an odd way of saying what had happened to him and confessing. Takes place before the crash.
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Snaps
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"Beaver?"
…
"Beav?"
…
Sigh.
"Cassidy?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you go by that girl's name?"
"That girl's name happens to be my name, in case you haven't noticed."
"Right…"
Dick looked at his brother. He sensed something was wrong with him. Heck, there was always something wrong with him. He seemed quiet. But then again, he always is. He was… just too quiet. Something was out of place. He needed to find out. Cassidy was always like this… But then again…
"What the heck do you want?" Cassidy asked in annoyance.
"Uhm… Dammit! You made me lose my train of thought!" Dick growled.
"You actually think? Amazing."
"Shut up."
"I like your comeback."
"You're retarded, you know that?"
"And you're blonde."
…
"What?"
"Nothing!"
Cassidy smiled an innocent one at Dick who just raised a brow.
"Well, what's wrong, little man?"
"Since when did you ever call me a man? You always tell me to 'man up' or something. Show my true manliness."
"Fine! Little boy!"
"I'd prefer Cassidy."
"Will you just shut up and listen to me?"
"How can I tell you what's wrong then?"
Cassidy did have a good point. Dick thought and then nodded. Time to be up and front. Like Dick always is… Not that he isn't… Well, whatever.
"What is wrong, my little brother?"
Cassidy didn't reply. He just stared at the ceiling rather than looking at his big brother covering the doorway. He was always buff and burly. Maybe. Whatever!
Cassidy snapped three times.
"Where is my dinosaur?"
"Dude, we threw that away when you were nine. Well, maybe it's because I said it was lame. My fault!"
Dick chuckled at his little joke. Cassidy snapped once.
"Stop being such a dick," Cassidy rambled.
"Was that directed at me?" Dick inquired, starting to get angry.
"Miss Turner had a lamb."
Cassidy snapped four times. Dick decided to keep quiet.
"Lovely day, isn't it?"
He snapped twice.
"Sing me something soft."
Dick had random thoughts in his head. 'What the heck is he thinking? It's like he's making these sentences off the top of his mind! It's like he's talking freaking nonsense!'
"Today is the day that I want s'mores."
He snapped twice again.
'Okay… make s'mores. Got it. Oh yeah! And pie,' Dick thought again.
"Delirious is bad for the mind."
"Oookay…" Dick muttered.
"B.O. means bitch out."
"I thought it meant body odor."
"You are cool."
"Aw, thanks little bro!"
"When the day comes, we'll all die."
"No, duh."
Cassidy snapped four times. After a pause, he snapped the same number of times.
"Dang it!"
"Since when did you say that?"
"Yolanda isn't pretty."
"Who is Yolanda? Are you talking about my third girlfriend in sixth grade? Well… she did have buck teeth."
"Good for you."
"Huh?"
He snapped four times again. And another after a moment.
"Dad isn't home."
"Like he is ever home."
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."
"Are you implying that you're gay?"
He snapped once.
"Never do that again."
"Do what?"
Cassidy got up from his bed and turned to look at his brother with sad eyes. He took a deep breath and said, "That's what's wrong. That's what happened."
He walked out of the room with the help of Dick who happened to move out of the way.
"What the fuck? What happened? He didn't tell me anything! He only said crap like… Dammit!"
Dick thought of who to turn to. Someone who was smart. Someone who was witty. Someone who was hot. Then he smiled.
"Oh, yeah! That's me!" He laughed at himself. "I'll call blondie. 'cept I don't have her phone number…"
Who to turn to… Who to turn to…
---
"Hello?"
"Yeah. Duncan. What's your little girl's number?"
"What?"
"Your girlfriend, idiot!"
"Oh. She's not little."
"She's like a white Asian. 'Cause Asians are short."
"If she's a Wasian, then she should be tall. 'Cause she's white. And Wasians are pretty."
"Name one Asian that's tall. And another that's pretty."
"Yao Ming and that Rush Hour chick that was like a suicide bomber."
"Oooh. Got me."
"So… You wanted her phone number?"
"Yep. Pretty much."
"What? Are you going to like flirt with her or something? Because then I would have to break you into pieces. Even worse. Your PS2."
"NOOOO! Not the PS2!"
"It's amazing how you care for that instead of your welfare."
"I mean… NOOOO! Not my body! I happened to like it very much!"
"So that you can sleep with girls who happened to like your body."
"Duh, dude."
"Well, it's a good thing Veronica doesn't like your body."
"What? Are you serious?"
"She likes mine! HAH! Burn!"
"You suck! Just give me the damn phone number."
"Okay."
---
ONE PHONE NUMBER LATER
---
"Thanks dude!"
"No problem. Why did you want it?"
"Duhm… To flirt with her?"
And before Dick could hear any expletives and profanities screamed into his ear, he hung up the phone and did a little skip out of the house and into his car with Duncan's girlfriend's number.
---
"Hello?"
"Veronica?"
"Who is this?"
"Dick."
"WHAT!"
"Casablancas!"
"Oh. I thought… Never mind."
"Yeah. You thought wrong. So anyways… You live at the Camelot, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, instead of going there, why don't you meet me at that little place where you work?"
"Dick… I am at that little place where I work."
"Oh! Well, meet you there!"
---
Dick walked into… What was this place called? 'Dammit. I seriously need to take the time and look at the sign outside.' He looked around and saw the person who he was looking for. And a slice of chocolate cake. Yum. He started walking toward the cake until some little girl walked up in front of him.
"Welcome to Java Hut! May I help you?"
"OH! So that's why this place is called! I thought it was something like "The Pot" or whatever. Thanks, dude!"
And with that, he slapped her shoulder and walked towards Veronica. She walked up to him and said, "Welcome to Java Hut! May I help you?"
"What are you guys? Robots?"
"They specifically trained us say the same thing. It's crazy. You should apply sometime."
"No thanks. Well, I'll have that chocolate cake."
Veronica raised an eyebrow and looked at him funnily. Dick just happened to look at her funnily. "Didn't you want something?"
"Yeah. Chocolate cake. Now move it, missy."
"Besides that, Dick."
"After my chocolate cake! Gosh! What's wrong with the service here?"
Veronica narrowed her eyes at him and scoffed. She muttered that she'll get his damn cake and pushed him to his table so that he could sit down. After about ten seconds, Veronica came back with the cake and a fork and set it down in front of Dick.
"Thanks!"
And he started eating.
"Don't you want to tell me something?"
"Like I said! After my chocolate cake!"
"I'll get you some milk to down that cake and to clean your mouth. You have bad manners."
---
ONE CHOCOLATE CAKE AND MILK LATER
---
"Well, there's something wrong with Beaver."
"Really now? You always think there's something wrong with him. Always saying he's not man enough and blah."
"Not THAT something wrong! Like something is really wrong!"
"Ooh. THAT something wrong!"
"Exactly!"
"I like how you explain things, Dick."
"Whatever. Anyways, I asked him what's wrong and then he started make a bunch of stuff up. Like 'I like chocolate milk' and 'give me some ice cream' and a bunch of other shit."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Now move it!"
"What?"
"I meant it! I'm hungry!"
Veronica sighed and when to go get his food.
---
ONE CHOCOLATE MILK AND ICE CREAM LATER
---
"Well, now that I'm half-full, I can think."
"So when you're hungry, you can't think?"
"Exactly."
"You should be full all of the time. That way you can think and use your head."
"You're sweet, Veronica."
"Like lollipops. Don't even lick me or else I'll tell Duncan to break your PS2."
"Duhm… I wasn't even going to. But if you want me to…"
"Dick, I just said don't lick me or else I'll tell my boyfriend to break something very valuable."
"Well, my brother was saying those things and then he started snapping. I pretty much don't get it."
Veronica thought for a moment.
"I'll go to your house in two minutes."
"Why two minutes?"
"That's when my shift is over, idiot."
"Why can't you leave now?"
"Because unlike some people, I like to follow the rules."
"But Veronica, you're everything AGAINST the rules."
"When I'm working."
"But you're working right now."
"There's a difference between working and slaving."
"So this is working?"
"No. It's the other."
"What's the other?"
"That you're stupid. Okay! Shift is over! Let's go."
"What?"
---
ONE CAR DRIVE LATER
---
The two blonde heads walked into the Casablancas estate. Because the place was so big, it was kind of hard to find Cassidy.
"Why the hell do you have such a big house?" Veronica asked.
"That's what I ask my father sometimes. It's hard to walk up the stairs," Dick replied.
"You're so lazy."
"Well, that's easy for you to say. If you lived here, then you would die."
After looking under beds and refrigerators and under tables and in the ceilings and in between couches and showers, they finally found Cassidy in the pool floating.
"Dammit! Why didn't we look here first?" Dick breathed sharply.
"You were looking for me?" Cassidy asked as he swam up to them.
"Well, I looked in the smart places. Your idiotic dick of a brother looking in between couches, linen closets, under beds, and any other stupid place he could think of."
"Hey! Well, anyways, tell Veronica what you told me."
Cassidy raised an eyebrow. Veronica then said, "What's wrong, Beaver?"
"Call him Cassidy," Dick advised.
"What's wrong Cassidy?"
Cassidy was silent.
"Cassidy?"
Cassidy snapped three times.
"What?"
"That's what I was thinking! I couldn't even understand him!"
The two kept silent and decided to let Cassidy talk after he splashed them.
"Weeds are annoying."
He snapped once.
"Silence is nice."
"Mauling isn't nice."
Four times.
"Look out!"
Twice.
"Seeds in a watermelon aren't tasty."
Silence.
"Tedious is a very interesting feeling."
Twice.
"Dear Jamie, sincerely me."
Silence.
"Billy Joel is in Greenday and he performs in that musical."
"That's true-OW!" Dick rubbed his arm after Veronica pinched him. Cassidy continued.
"You are annoying."
Silence.
"Westlife is a boy band."
Four times. And another.
"Die, you little mutant!"
Silence.
"Yuck!"
Silence.
"Goodness gracious."
Four times. And another.
"Daddy's girl."
Silence.
"Mother's apple tree."
Once.
"Not going to say anything."
Silence.
Cassidy took a deep breath before swimming another lap. Veronica and Dick looked at each other.
"Did you get that?" Dick asked her.
"Well, no. Not really," she answered.
"Dammit! I want to know before school starts!"
"Let me ask him again."
"And endure another period of random babbling? No."
"Did you memorize what he said?"
"No."
"You're lucky I have a good memory."
"Really?"
"Don't make me drown you."
---
ONE WRITING DOWN OF NONSENSE LATER
---
"Okay. So he said all of these things."
Veronica showed the paper to Dick who just nodded slowly. He then said, "I don't think I understand."
"I don't either. Well he's talking in a secret code. OH YEAH! The snaps!"
"I hope you know how many times he snapped."
---
ONE WRITING HOW MANY TIMES THE CASSIDY SNAPPED IN BETWEEN SENTENCES LATER
---
"Okay. So we have what he said and how many times he snapped."
"This is hurting my mind. I'm getting some fruit."
"You eat fruit? After that endless amounts of chocolate?"
"Well, yeah. I like to be healthy sometimes, you know."
"Amazing fact."
Dick got up from the counter and took two steps to the fridge.
"What if how many times he snapped counted as syllables?" Veronica thought out loud.
"Well, either way, it wouldn't make sense. He snapped three times before saying anything. And he snapped four times and paused and another four times."
"Wow! You're keen!"
"Thank you very much."
"I was just kidding."
"Still, I happen to like a kind compliment every now and then."
---
AFTER FIVE HOURS OF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT CASSIDY SAID
---
"Oh, man. This is hopeless," Dick groaned. "And I thought you were witty. Much help you were."
"Well, at least I came up with the idea that it was some secret language. Unlike you who just wouldn't register that in you mind instead thought that your brother was crazy."
"He was talking nonsense to me!"
"And he was talking a secret language to me!"
"You guys still haven't figure it out?"
The bickering people turned and looked at Cassidy who was eating a protein bar.
"Where did you get that?" Dick asked.
"I bought it for myself," Cassidy replied
"Dude, you have to share."
"No! It's mine!"
"You guys like to eat protein bars?" Veronica asked. "I thought protein bars were for working out."
"Well, protein bars happen to be tasty. That's why we like to eat them. You can have the rest of this, Dick."
"Yes!"
Veronica just snorted at the two of them. She turned to Cassidy and said, "Can you please tell us directly?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"You're smart. Figure it out yourself. I don't want to say it out loud."
And with that, Cassidy walked out of the kitchen.
---
AFTER ANOTHER TWO HOURS
---
"I have an idea!"
Veronica groaned.
"What if he's saying a sentence and the first letter of the beginning word in each sentence he says spells it out?"
Veronica widened her eyes at him and gasped. "You actually said something smart for once, Dick!"
"Thanks!"
"So there's these letters."
She showed the paper to him and it said:
W, S, M, L, S, T, D, B, Y, W, D, Y, G, D, M, N.
"Well, it looks like the B and the Y are one word," Dick pointed out.
"Any other fabulous ideas that you would like to contribute?"
Dick thought for a moment. Then he gasped in that 'I've got it!' fashion and started snapping.
"The snaps!" he exclaimed. "They make up for the letters in between!"
"They're vowels!" Veronica said.
"Yeah!"
"So… He snapped three times in the beginning. That would be…"
They both snapped three times. A... E… I!
"It stands for the vowel I!" they said at the same time.
"The next one is an A!" Veronica said as she wrote it down.
"And the next is O!"
"E!"
"Another E!"
"Two O's!"
"Another two O's!"
"The last one is an A!"
Veronica wrote it all down and high-fived Dick. He took a deep breath and said, "What does it say?"
Veronica read it and she gasped. She looked at Dick who got worried.
"What happened?"
Veronica showed the paper to him. It said:
I WAS MOLESTED BY WOODY GOODMAN.
"So… You know now…"
Cassidy just seems to be popping at the right moments. Veronica and Dick couldn't say anything. The shock was just… shocking. Cassidy sniffled. Dick, finally seeing what was happening, got off the stool and ran over to his little brother and hugged him. Veronica seemed to join in.
"It's okay, man! Why didn't you tell me before?" Dick cried.
"I was… afraid that you would make fun of me and hate me!" Cassidy sobbed.
"You have to tell somebody about these things! You can't keep them inside!"
"I have another thing. To say."
Veronica and Dick looked at him.
"You know the night at Shelley's party?"
They both nodded. Cassidy snapped three times. He paused and snapped once.
"Mary had a buffet."
They nodded again.
"Silly goose."
He snapped four times.
"Rejected!"
…
"Red roses and blue skies."
…
"You are nice."
…
"Very humble, I see."
He snapped twice.
"Really, now?"
He snapped four times. By now Veronica started to sob while Dick widened his eyes.
"Not cool."
He snapped three times. Veronica fell to her knees and was crying her eyes out. Cassidy voice was breaking up.
"Cool beans."
He snapped once. He took a deep breath and hugged her. Dick joined in.
"I'm sorry."
Veronica sniffled. "It's okay. At least you confessed."
"So… You're not mad?"
"Of course not. Just that you gave me a disease."
"It was from Woody. I swear."
"I know."
They smiled and sniffled.
"Man. That was intense. You should tell me these things. I'm your big brother. If not, I'll have to beat the crap out of you."
The two of them laughed.
"Do you know how long it took us to find out what you said? Very long!"
Yay for Dick for making things better! Dick isn't such a dick after all!
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Yay! It actually went how I wanted it to go!