I Am Not Happy, But I Am Gay.

It started with a baseball.

That's it.

A baseball.

You'd think the most important moment in my life would start with something a little more profound.

Maybe an earthquake. Or a car crash.

But, nope.

A baseball.

I don't even like baseball.

'Hey, let's get a ball and try to hit it with a stick!'

'That sounds like a great idea! Only when you hit it, how about you around bases!'

'We'll call it baseball!'

Okay, maybe that's a little harsh.

My prejudice probably stems from the fact, said baseball hit me square in the forehead.

And the fact, I'm not the most athletic person on the planet. Not to say, I'm a lazy couch potato. I'm actually not that bad. I just don't like to exercise.

At all.

But, back to the baseball.

It came out of nowhere. Totally coming out of left field.

Quite literally.

I was walking in the park (minding my own business!) whistling some tune I had heard a little while earlier, and then BAM!

Suddenly, I'm on the ground about to cry my eyes out.

That shit hurt!

And if you call me a baby; go get hit in the forehead with a baseball, and then tell me otherwise.

So, there I am on the ground, clutching my head when I hear a voice.

Thinking back, it was probably the most beautiful voice I had ever heard, but remember. I had just been hurt. I wasn't wasting any time thinking about beautiful voices.

"Hey! Are you alright?" the voice asked.

Yeah, dipshit. I feeling freakin' dandy right now!

I think I let out a pained moan, but I can't be sure.

A pair of legs soon turned into a pair of legs with hands. They offered themselves to me.

Trying to help me after hurting me, I guess.

"Here, let me help you up. I'm really sorry about that."

I grabbed one of the hands and was soon hauled onto my feet.

Once standing up right, I got a look at the person that was helping me up.

It was a teenager.

A teenage girl.

A beautiful,teenage girl.

And, man, when I say that she was beautiful, I mean beautiful.

This girl was like the poster child for everything people thought about when they pictured girls from California.

Perfect blonde hair, flawless tan skin, the bluest eyes you've ever seen, and a rocking body to match.

Let's say, I could've done worse for an attacker.

"I'm really, really sorry about that. Glen is such a dumbass. I never should have agreed to come with him."

Judging by the last couple of sentences, I figured that they weren't exactly meant for me.

"I agree with you on that," I managed to get out.

Between the beautiful girl in front of me and my throbbing head, I wasn't sure how I did it.

I usually don't do so well when I talk to girls (much less smoking hot ones), and certainly when I'm not in pain.

The girl chuckled at that. "Yeah. Again, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's alright. Shit happens, right?"

That's right, Davies, play it off.

Hit on the head with a baseball?

No, problem!

Happens all the time.

"I hope not! Then, everyone would have bruises all over on their heads," she laughed.

Totally making fun of my pain and her involvement in it.

Yay, me.

Landed myself a bitch.

Albeit, a beautiful one, with a great voice, pretty blue eyes…

But, still a bitch.

She seemed to realize that, though. Immediately, looking remorse. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I'm Spencer."

Well, that's a unique name. Isn't Spencer supposed to be a boy's name?

Maybe she was a tranny!

Nah. Those boobs looked real…

"Ugh…I'm Ashley. Ashley Davies." I grunted out. Well, more stuttered out.

"Ashley," she said. It was like she was trying it out on her tongue.

Which, by the way, made me totally proud of my really generic name, suddenly.

She made it sound hotter than I'd ever heard it sound before.

"Yup. That's me."

Ugh! Could I get any dorkier?!

Sometimes, I wish I had a time machine.

Not to help people or change the world or meet any Presidents.

Nope. Just to prevent myself from saying the stupidest things possible.

So, pretty…

Wait, words left her mouth.

Focus, Davies, attractive girl talking to you!

"-go?" she finished.

Leaving me totally without a clue to what she was saying.

Shit, shit!

Think fast.

"Ugh, sure."

It came out more like a question, but I don't think that she caught on to it.

"Great. You don't look like the skydiving type, though. How many times have you been?"

Wait, skydiving?

What the hell did I just get myself into?!

"Oh, my gosh! You should have seen your face!" the blonde laughed.

More like busted a gut.

I just glared at her.

First, she hits me, and then she tricks me!

The nerve of this girl!

After a few years (okay, minutes…), she calmed down.

Might I add, looking a little flushed and still grinning like an idiot.

"I knew you weren't listening and couldn't resist. But, really. Let me buy you a coke, ice cream, or whatever. It's the least I could do." She offered. Smiling totally inoffensive and open.

Trying to redeem yourself, huh?

Not gonna fly here, sista!

"Sure. I'd like that."

I should have known that she was evil.

WWWWWW

As it turns out, Spencer wasn't totally evil.

More like she was totally hot, fun, carefree, and not interested in me.

Damn!

To be honest, Spencer never actually said she wasn't interested in me. It was more like she didn't seem interested in anyone.

Kinda frustrating, isn't it?

Let me tell you about it.

I tried (key word: tried) to semi-flirt with her, and it's like she didn't even notice.

I may not have been the best sweet talker of women, but I did okay.

Well, I wasn't a virgin or anything.

It's just there hasn't been too much boom boom in the boom boom room, as of late. Not to say that I was desperate, 'cause I don't do that kind of thing.

I was never one to carry out (how to put this…?) self pleasurement.

I never saw the point of it.

Enough of the talk about such things, though.

Back to my outing with Spencer.

As I was saying, it was like she didn't see my trying to flirt with her.

Or chose to ignore it.

Even if she wasn't responding to my advances, I didn't think that she was completely straight.

She (quite quickly) shot down a pretty handsome guy.

Handsome coming from the gayest girl this side of West Hollywood.

I might have been really gay, but you wouldn't catch me sporting a crew cut, flannel button down, and combat boots anytime soon.

No offense to those who did, of course.

It just wasn't how I rolled.

And it's not like she did it mean, either.

Spence ('cause that's what I'm calling her now. That extra letter was too much) was a hell of a lot nicer than I would have been.

Real ball buster I am.

For some weird reason, it's as if guys knew I was gay.

I mean the was the occasional guy that did, and I told (as nicely as I could manage) told them to go fuck their selves.

I sure as hell wasn't going to.

We were walking on the boardwalk at this.

You know, if you were wondering.

The rejected guy returned to kicking around his hacky sack.

Yeah. He was that big of a loser.

I mean, who was plays hackie sack anymore?

Especially by themselves.

"Man, I used to love hackie sack," Spence said. Looking pretty wistfully at the ball of yarn filled with…what whatever hacky sacks were filled with.

"I never really like it."

Spence turned to look at me.

An amused expression on her face.

"Really? Why so?"

I shrugged.

Maybe because every time I played, I ended up spending more time chasing after it than keeping it up in the air.

Yeah. I think that's our winner.

"Did you play any sports when you were younger?"

Ah, no.

Why the hell would I?

All the air conditioning was inside.

"Yeah. Ping pong."

Spencer laughed and shook her head in the negative. "I don't think that's a sport."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, it is. It's even in the Olympics."

Not so sure about the Olympics comment, but Spence didn't challenge me.

Thank God.

I didn't want to be called out on my bullshit.

Particularly, in front of Spence.

She was the type to tease mercilessly. And I could tell that from spending a few hours with her.

Oh, did I mention that?

Yeah, me and Spence here had been hanging out since a little after noon. It was almost four now.

If this were a date, I would have to say it was going pretty well.

But since it wasn't a date (I don't really know what it was), I would still have to say it was going pretty well.

We got along well enough.

We were going to be friends after today.

I couldn't tell you how close, but I knew we would.

We clicked that way.

She had told me a little about herself, too.

She had moved to Orange County from Ohio about five years back because of her parents' divorce (father high-tailed it out of there), had two brothers (Clay and Glen), a huge mutt that she had saved when they moved here, and also was going to King High (my school!) when the summer break's over. She had from the OC to LA just a few weeks ago.

When I asked her why, she just changed the subject.

I could take a hint.

The move to LA was not of her choosing and was still a sore subject for the blonde.

In turn, I told her about myself. Not much to tell, if you ask me, though.

Lived in LA my whole life, rock star father, gold-digging mother, over-dramatic (but lovable) half-sister, best friend ever, and no pets.

Well, there were pets.

I just decided to leave the unknown number of dead goldfish to myself.

"So, leave anyone special back in the OC?" I asked.

I was curious.

"No. I'm not really much of a dater." She answered.

The weird thing was that she wouldn't look at me when she said it.

Spence was the type of person that liked looking you in the eye when she spoke to her.

So, yeah.

Alarm bells starting ringing in my head.

Either, she just broke up with someone (sex unknown), or something else…

Or she could just be a not dating type.

I refused to believe such a normal response.

The blonde was hot and could probably have anyone she wanted.

There had to be something more to it, but I wasn't going to harass her about it.

I'd find out eventually.

I'm persuasive like that.

"Yeah, me, neither."

"I think that's more because no one wants you…" she joked.

I hoped she was joking.

Cause if she wasn't…

"Oh, no, you didn't!" I exclaimed making Spencer smirk.

"I do believe I did."

I started chasing after her. Spence was fast and managed to evade me for a while. Remember, I told you wasn't that athletic, but I did catch her after a few minutes.

Okay, she had to stop so not over run into an old lady.

I take what I can get.

After the lady had moved out of the way, I tackled the blonde to the ground.

And started tickling her, of course.

Let's say, Spence was mighty ticklish, shall we?

She was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of her eyes.

I wasn't too far behind, though.

We both were having a grand ol' time.

That was until we heard someone clear their throats loudly.

Talk about a total cock block.

You know…besides the fact that we both are fortunately without that certain cough attachment, and were behaving in a completely unsexual manner.

Just two girls rolling around, straddling each other, laughing…

Okay, not going to finish that thought.

So, when we looked towards the interruption, guess what we saw?

None other than the ultimate best friend ever!

"Aiden!" I said as I jumped off Spence to hug him.

It had been forever (okay, two weeks) since I had last seen him. I missed him.

He had been forced to go on a family trip across Europe with his parents.

Europe Awesome.

Mr. and Mrs. D. not so much.

They were cool, just very busy and to compensate for lost went on long family trips.

But besides the absentee parentals, Aiden Dennison was my best friend and one of the only two people I trusted. One, being Kyla, and the other being him.

The boy had an eyebrow raised, but had an easy smile on his face. "Hey, Ash. And this is…?"

He gave Spence a once over, but not in a sleazy way. It was more of 'hey, you're pretty and now moving on' thing. Aiden, although a guy who clearly could have any girl he wanted, was very much in love with (and whipped by) my sister, Kyla. Though, the reasoning was beyond my comprehension.

"Spencer," she supplied. She gave him a once over, too. Also, appreciating the beauty that is the brunette boy and moving on.

That was a good sign to me.

Girls, straight girls, usually drooled over him.

And since Spence had previously stated that she was single, and was not fawning over him, it was pointing me farther toward the conclusion that she was into me.

Or at least not impressed by beautiful boys.

Aiden (smile still in place) stuck his hand out. Spence looked at it for a second before shaking it.

Yeah, Aiden was one of the only people that still shook hands.

I had tried to, at least, convert him to a fist bump or something better, but he wasn't having it. I even tried using the 'do you know how filthy people's hands are?' thing to avail.

He said he'd just carry around Germ X.

"I'm guessing that you're new, right?"

Spence nodded. A little surprised that he guessed correctly. There were a lot of people in Los Angles. Aiden was just good at things like that, though.

Very perceptive, that boy.

"Yeah. Fresh from the OC."

Aiden quickly looked at me. He had a 'you remember that one time…' smile on his face.

I returned it with 'oh, man, do I…'.

"Good place. Ever meet those bitches from that TV show?" he joked.

"Can't say that I did. Sorry," she laughed.

"Well, that just sucks," he smiled and looked at me. "Ky, says that you need to get home."

I rolled my eyes. "Why didn't she just call me instead of sending you?"

Aiden shook his head and put an arm around my shoulders. "And where would the fun be in that? Plus, admit it. You missed my pretty face."

I pushed him off me and laughed at his antics. "Yeah, you caught me. I missed you terribly."

Even though, I said it like I was playing around, it was true. Aiden was possibly the best guy ever. He was hard not to miss.

I glanced at Spence quickly. I had kinda neglected her for the last few minutes by messing around with Aiden.

She didn't look put off, though. In fact, she looked amused at our behavior.

"What was the emergency?" I asked the boy.

"I don't know. Mostly, I think that she was just bored."

I roll my eyes. "Did she come with you?"

He shook her head. "No, a Flavor of Love marathon came on. So, she sent me to find you. Figured you were at beach, and guess what? I was right."

I was about to reply when Spence's phone starting going off.

Can you guess was the ringtone?

I'll give you a hint.

It was something like:

My lip gloss be poppin'

All the boys be stoppin'

They chase me after school

"Hey, Glen. What's up?" she asked.

She had that ringtone for her brother?

Oh, I bet he just loved that.

She waited for him to reply, and then pouted.

I don't think she knew she was doing it, but it was completely adorable.

I mean, completely. Like puppy adorable.

"Oh, come on, Glen! I don't want to just yet."

Another pause.

Then, she blew a tray piece of hair out of her face. Pout firmly still on face.

This girl was seriously just too cute.

I might of had a 'aw, aren't you just a cutie?' look on my face because Aiden snickered and rolled his eyes. I shoved him and returned my attention back to the blonde.

"Ugh, fine. Meet me at the car," she said closing the phone. "Looks like you're not the only one heading home."

I had to shake myself from my trance before I could answer. "Oh, yeah."

"We should hang out later." She said.

Cue enthusiastic head nod here. "Yeah. Of course. How 'bout tomorrow?"

Eager, much?

Spence smiled. "Sure. That sounds great."