Shattered to Pieces

"Someone can make you feel that you are so special,
But you'll never know if it's their habit to make everybody feel that way.."

12am, Wednesday

It was dawn, Mikan was still sitting on the dark side of the room as she was huddled up in a ball, hugging a purple bear Natsume won for her at the fare five days ago, still looking blank, she stares at the drawer where she kept all his letters; while the scent of the red roses Natsume left on her doorstep fills the room with its aroma and with every breathe of it seems to sting for Mikan. Her face, still damp from crying all day and her eyes swollen and tired; she never expected this would happen, she never knew someone could hurt her so deeply like this.

She never expected HE could be the reason for her to hurt like this…

(2 days before)

12pm, Monday

*beep* *beep*

(Mikan phone receives a text message)

Hey Polka.. come here to the sakura tree, I need to talk to you. ASAP. SOS..

After a few minutes

(Mikan Screams) "Hey Perv!.." as she runs towards the sakura tree

"Whaat. Do-who you-foo waantt..?" she says as she holds on to the tree, head down, while still panting from running

"Nothing!" Natsume grins at her

Mikan looks up, red as a tomato and slaps Natsume hard on the arm.

"Aww!...Haha.. I was kidding the truth is I wanted to go out the whole afternoon with you.." then Natsume grins again

Mikan, lifting her eyebrow to stop herself from blushing, "O.k., sure, your treat..?"

"Of course… and I'll also take you to a fare, my treat.." then he smiles

"I'm kinda suspicious but sure.." she says as she stares at his face to see if he's up to something.

As they walk to together Mikan tries to fight with herself, it feels like there are butterflies in her stomach but she doesn't know why and it always happens when she's near this pervert who calls her Polka..

Moments later they arrived at the cinema

"What do you say we watch a movie first before going to the fare then we'll eat at a restaurant so that you, Polka dots could eat everything on their menu. Huh?" he says as he smiles but his eyes look perplexed, yet sad.

"Yea sure!" Mikan said wondering what was going on.

As they watched in the movie theatre their hands accidentally touch when Mikan gets shocked by the sound effects of the movie. As their hands move away from each other she knows she is definitely blushing now, good thing the movie theatre's dark and Natsume doesn't bother to look at her, but something bothers her as though the butterflies in her stomach tells her to hold on to his hand and not just hold on but grab it and and hold it as tight as she can.. what was she thinking? was she going crazy for even thinking of holding that pervert's hand. 'Stupid thoughts' she said to herself.

In the fare Natsume wins for her a purple bear with a little name in its tummy: To my love

"So you do love me.." Mikan says teasingly at Natsume

"Haha!(sarcastic) are you drunk?" Natsume says then pauses for a long moment, but an agonizing moment for Mikan because now Natsume looks serious, "What will you do if I do love you?" then he smiles partly to hide that he was serious.

She couldn't believe it, she can see in his eyes that he was serious but tries to hide it with a smile, and after fighting with her own pride she finally says something, "What if I do love you too, and what if I fall for you, would you catch me?" she was serious and smiles at him to reassure him then looks down when Natsume didn't reply, she was about to cry but she was fighting it. Could she be wrong of thinking that Natsume was serious about his question?

Then suddenly, a hand so strong yet soft and full of affection cups her face, and a mouth so sweet and so tender kisses her lips and the broad strong arms of the man she loves brings her closer to him and suddenly everything around her stopped and for the first time in her life she felt so complete, she felt as though for the first time she did something right, then she felt she couldn't stop herself anymore; she kissed him back and she adored the taste of his tongue and at that moment everything felt that it fell on its rightful place. Her body fitted his perfectly, as though, he were the missing piece in her… It answered every question on their mind for years and everything was on its perfect time…

7am, Tuesday

*knock* *knock*

Mikan rubs her eyes as she walks to the door, wondering who it was but there was no one, instead she saw a bouquet of red roses on her doorstep. She picks it up and smells it, its aroma so sweet in her nostrils; then she reads the card inside it: 'Go to the tree'. She knew who it was from and she was excited, so she rushed to her closet and grabbed the best dress she could. Her old black dress was the first thing at hand, she always wore it when someone died, it was so unfit for her 2nd date with her new boyfriend (if you called kissing under the stars and eating popcorn a date). Instead she threw it on the couch and wore a red velvet v-neck dress and ran for the sakura tree.

As she arrived there, her eyes searched for Natsume but he wasn't there, instead there was a letter, stuck to one branch of the tree, after she had read it she ran screaming:

"You stupid pervert, I hate you, I hope you go to hell.."

Three days later she found out that Natsume died going to America, he was hit by a car.. she felt so guilty because maybe heaven heard her cry and decided to kill Natsume, she needed someone to keep her sane she needed to do something normal, so she went online changed her status to:

"Someone can make you feel that you are so special,
But you'll never know if it's their habit to make everybody feel that way.."

and then saw thousands of updates on Natsume's profile status then she read it: "It was either a death because of his cancer or get hit by a car, thank God he did the faster less painful way to my son. He didn't have to suffer long and he didn't see his love one's suffer, may you rest in peace my beloved son: Natsume Hyuuga" Natsume's mother wrote on her sons account.

Mikan froze and realized why Natsume said such things, then she remembered the other letter under her rug at the front door, then she decided to read it: 'Remove all the big cap words, my love, so that no one will understand my letter for you just as no one understands my feelings for you.. – forever yours Natsume'.

The letter on the sakura tree:

Hey you Polka, I'm leaving for America right now as you read this letter, I'm leaving coz I DON'T love you and I DON'T care that I might hurt you, you DON'T mean everything to me, you DON'T mean the world to me just like I said yesterday night, I will NEVER come back for you because you are NEVER enough for me to live. I will NEVER be with you always. – Natsume

She held her hand to her face, "you said you will NEVER come back for me, well maybe I shouldn't remove the NEVER there…" then she felt tired and as her eyes slowly shut, her mind still wandering, then before her eyes were totally shut she whispered "you put me together, then shattered me, but I'm dumb enough to still love you, I will always love you!..."