Rain poured down creating a gentle pitter-patter on the window. Brian was in his bed, alone for once, soaking the seets in sweat, unableto lay still for even a moment. He was asleep, but he was having a nightmare. All he could see was Justin, and all he could hear was I want you to do what makes you happy. "You make me happy!" Brian yelled in his sleep as he tossed and turned uneasily in his bed. With a sudden large inhale of breath, Brian flew up in his bed, panting and looking around his loft.
Brian got himself up and stammered to the bathroom. He hadn't felt this bad since his chemotherapy. With his eyes barely open, Brian emptied his bladder then climbed into his shower to wash the warm sticky sweat from his toned body. As Brian washed himself, images of Justin and him in the shower flashed through his mind. He balled his hand into a fist then slammed it into the door of the shower, making a small circle of outreaching cracks where it took the blow. Tiny streams of blood oozed from where Brian's skin met the glass but he didn't care. He leaned his head against the door and let the water run down his back and splash to the slippery tiles before escaping down the drain.
After his shower, his attempt to wash away his memories, Brian wrapped a tower around his waist and went into the kitchen. He opened his fridge and found nothing more than poppers and beer. "The essentials." He said to himself as he prepared for a high. Brian grabbed a bottle of beer and walked to the window. His view was blurred from the rain running down the cold glass. The sun was barely visible behind the luminous building of Pittsburgh. Standing before the window the memory of the night Justin had dressed like a hooker in their attempt to convict the man who killed Jason Kempf danced inside his mind, until it was all he could see. "You looked hot..." he said to the window like he had told Justin just to see him smile and lighten the mood.
Brian tilted his beer up letting it run through his mouth and down his throat as he held back salty tears. It had been a few months since Justin left Brian to be a huge successful artist in New York. For a few months Brian was fine. He told himself he could live without Justin, but that soon changed when his work began to lack and his lust began to die. No one had really noticed the changes too much so Brian figured he was safe and could continue to uphold his 'fuck everyone' attitude. He was careful to avoid Debbie though, because Debbie had a way of piercing through everyone and anyone's outter shell; even if they want nothing more than for her to go away.
The sun began to rise high into the sky, illuminating the loft and signaling for the day to begin. Traffic began to pick up outside and people began bustling along the streets. Brian got dressed for work, though he didn't want to go. Everything he did, everything he saw, reminded him of Justin. Now he wasn't even safe from those memories in his dreams. Brian shoved the boards he was working on for Brown Athletics new campaign into his bag and swung it over his shoulder. Then he went to the door and with one strong pull, hauled the rusted green door all the way open. He slipped out and slammed the door behind him.
Brian took the elevator to the first floor and hurried out the door, his tie and suit coat flying behind him. He went to his jeep and threw his bag on the passenger's seat then climbed in and looked over his face in the rear view mirror. Brian crammed the key into the ignition and turned the key, causing his jeep roar to life. He clutched the shifter and cranked it to drive then pressed the gas petal to the floor and soared down the road. He decided to stop by the diner for some coffee to try to keep himself awake so he would be able to work. When he reached the very colorful eating establishment, he parked his car and went inside. Upon his first glance of the place, he saw no one except the nosy Debbie; but after all, she did work there. "Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Kinney." Debbie said with a laugh when she spotted him. "Haven't seen you in awhile." She said as she made her way over to him. Brian sat at the booth close to him and put his head in his hands, staring at the table.
"Debbie, coffee, please." He uttered to her before she reached him. Debbie grabbed the pot of coffee off the burner then grabbed a glass from the shelf and headed back to Brian.
"You look like shit." She said standing next to the table.
"Thank you very much. Can I have some fucking coffee so I can go to work?" he said looking up at her with anger in his voice. He didn't mean, for once, to snap at her. He was just very tired and miserable.
"That's better." Debbie said with sarcasm and poured some coffee into the cup then shoved it to him. With a sigh, Debbie set the pot on the table and sat across from Brian. "Sure aint the same with Sunshine gone." After saying that, Debbie looked at Brian and noticed he winced a little. "How are you holding up?" she asked him lowering her head trying to make eye contact with him.
"I'm fucking fabulous." He said sipping his coffee, not looking at her once. He knew his eyes would give away his lie. However, Brian knew Debbie knew he was lying.
"Cut the fucking superiour i'm impervious bullshit already. You're 35 fucking years old, and believe me, you're not getting any younger." Debbie smacked Brian on the side of the head and picked up her pot then went back to taking and delivering orders. Brian finished his coffee, left money on the table, and left. As he was walking to jeep through, Emmett and Ted were walking down the street. Shit! Just what I don't need Brian said to himself.
"Hey baby!" Emmett said with a smile as he half skipped to Brian. Emmett tried to hug Brian but Brian put his arms up to stop him. "How are you?" Emmett asked as he backed off.
"I'm fine. If you don't mind, I need to get to work." Brian said as he put one foot forward to walk to his jeep but stop and turned to Ted. "Speaking of which, why the fuck aren't you there, Theodore?" he asked with a small smile and slight amusement in his eyes.
"I was, uh, on my, uh, way there now, Bri." he was looking at the ground. Ted was slightly afraid of Brian, which was why Brian waqs so amused with tormenting him.
"Well you best hurry your ass there. You don't want to loose your job now would you?" He said as he walked to his jeep and climbed in to soar to work. When he reached Kinnetic, Brian swerved into a parking spot and with a screeching halt, parked his car then grabbed his bag and went inside. Cynthia was waiting for him at the door with a stack of papers in her arms.
"It's about time you got here." She said to him through a smile. "Brown Athletics called, they want to push their meeting." She said hurrying alongside him, reviewing the papers in her arms. "Oh and Michael called."
"What did Michael want?" Brian asked, ingorning her comment about Brown Athletics.
"Just said to have you call him when you got the chance. What do you want to do about Brown Athletics though?"she said more concerned with the days tasks then with Michael.
"Tell the fuckers that I have other meetings today beside them and that I have their presentation ready so if they don't want to meet today, they can fuck themselves." Brian went into his office and let the door shut in Cynthia's face. She sighed and went back to her work. Brian opened his drawer on his desk and stared at the picture of Justin he had. He stroked it with his finger and lifted it to reveal the phone number for Justin that Michael had given him. Brian picked up the phone and began to dial the number, but as soon as Justin picked up he slammed the phone down. "Why wouldn't you just marry me?" He yelled at the picture and threw it across the room. A few tears escaped Brian's eyes and splashed onto the top of his desk, the broken frame lying shattered on the ground.