A/N: So! This is going to be missing moments/what if's and things like that from the show. They're not going to be in order, just as I come up with them. I'm open to suggestions too, by the way! This first one shot, is from Kill Shot. I bet you can guess which scene. But yeah, here's a look into Kate's head in that scene, and how it could've ended. I hope you like it! Please leave a review either way! Happy reading!

I'm running. So many things are going through my head, it's making me dizzy. I find it hard to breathe. I try to focus on my feet, running through the hall.

I hear Castle calling my name behind me, but I do not turn around. I can't. He can't see me like this, so out of control. No one can. They wouldn't understand. Hell, I don't understand.

I find a door that leads to an empty hallway. I rush through it, and lean against the wall I find in there. I can't breathe. Everything is spinning.

A sniper. A goddamn sniper. He could be anywhere. Anyone could drop dead next, including me.

I know, in the back of my mind, that it's not the same person who shot me only some months ago. I know that. But seeing those victims.. God, I was shot by a sniper. I could've died. I almost did. My heart did stop for a minute or two. I died. I was dead. I died, I died, I died.

I'm trying to catch my breath, but I can't. I take off my jacket. I feel hot tears flowing down my cheeks. At what point did I start crying? I hope it wasn't around the other people. Around Castle. God, Castle..

I can't do this. I'm losing control. My hands are shaking. I'm shaking. I sit down on the floor, lean my back against the wall, and cry.

I don't understand what's happening to me. Yeah, it's PTSD, or so I'm told, but God.. This feeling. I can't take it. I hate being weak, and this is about as weak as it gets. I can't breathe properly. What kind of a normal person can't breathe properly?

One that was shot in the chest by a sniper.

A sniper that was never caught.

Like the one going around the city right now, killing innocent women.

I cry even harder.

Suddenly there's a soft knock on the door. I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to muffle the noise of my cries. I still can't catch my breath.

Someone talks through the door. "Beckett?"

Oh God. It's Castle. No. No, no, no.

I start to panic again.

"Kate?" He asks again, using my first name this time.

A cry escapes my mouth.

"Kate, I know you're in there." Castle says softly.

"Go away." I tell him. My voice sounds so weak. More like a cry than an order. Pathetic.

"No, I won't." He states. God, why can't he just leave me alone?

Suddenly I see the door knob moving. God, I didn't lock the door. I cover my face with my hands, just as he steps in the hallway.

"Oh Kate." He exhales softly. He sounds sad. God, I feel even more terrible.

I start crying even more. My whole body shakes as the tears pour from my eyes. I can't even talk properly. I try anyway.

"P-please, just.. Go-..Go away, C-castle, please." I stutter, as the crying and shortness of breath makes my voice break at almost every word.

Castle just looks at me for a second. Then he sits down next to me. He doesn't touch me, he doesn't judge me. He just sits there.

"I'm not leaving you Kate." He states. "I know you feel weak, but God, Kate, you're so strong. No one is as strong as you. It's okay to break down sometimes. It's more than okay."

I sob into my hand. How could he understand?

"I can't imagine what you're going through. But I'm here for you. No matter what. I know you like to think that you don't need anyone, but Kate, everyone needs someone sometimes. If you want, I'll be that someone for you." Castle says softly. His voice is so soft, so understanding.

Why does he want to help me? How in the world could he even help me? Can't he see what a mess I am? Can he really not see?

Suddenly I remember why.

Kate, I love you.

I love you Kate.

God.

He deserves so much better. So much better than me. I'm no good for him.

But right now, he doesn't understand that.

Right now, he does love me.

And God do I love him. With every piece of my broken soul.

I will fix this. I will get over this. For him. I will be better for him. For Castle.

I raise my head from my hands, and wrap them around his neck. Immediately, he wraps his arms around my waist. I sob into his shoulder, and he rubs my back.

"It's okay Kate, I got you. It'll be okay, I promise. I will make it okay."

And for a minute, I believe him. If there's anyone that can make things okay, it's Castle.

I desperately want to be good enough for him. I have to be. I have to work through this. I have to become a better person. For him.

As my breathing begins to slow down and my tears dry, I make a decision. I'm going to get better. I'm going to work through my issues. I will be more than my job. More than that one case that's been defining me for years. More than my case. My shooting.

I don't care how long or how much work it takes. I will do it.

He's worth it. He's worth so much. And I want to be worthy of him. I need to be.

His words, is what will keep me going. Those specific words. His love.

Kate, I love you.

I love you Kate.

I will be better. I will be worthy of his love.

I will get over this.

Starting with catching this son of a bitch.

What did you think? Please review! And if you have any ideas for missing moments/what if's, please, do share! -S