Stupid Cupid: Stop Picking on Hades!
Author's Note: Just like the 50s song. If you know it, you know how appropriate it is. If you don't, you need to listen to the Oldies station more often;) My rendition of the Persephone/Hades love/hate adventure, based on Disney's Hercules. This would be the continuation of the latter. Please, no flames. (No pun intended)
Chapter 1 - The Boss is NOT Happy
Indeed, Hades was in a - really - bad mood when he arose from the swirling whirpool of vapors where he'd spent the last few hours involuntarily mingling with his ghostly subjects. What had gone around had come around in the form of grabbing, name calling, pummeling, and that had been from the nicer part of the population. The more unsavory ones had subjected him to a fate worse than death in ways even he wouldn't have thought of on his worst days.
Hades emerged, dripping with ectoplasm and scowling deeply. He summoned his fearsome subjects, Pain and Panic.
"PAIN! PANIC!"
Said subjects jumped at the sound of his ear-splitting bellow and abandoned their plot to take over the Underworld. Why did their master have to ruin all their fun just when it was getting good? They hoped he wouldn't notice the mustache they'd drawn on Hades' father's portrait in the tunnel, for one thing. Or the hole they'd blasted in front of Hades' throne and hastily covered up with rubble.
They slid into view, supressing giggles at the sight of him, then shrieks of fear as Hades exploded into a yellow burst of fury.
"What are you staring at?" he yelled, fists clenched as he stomped toward them. "We have work to do!"
"Yes, Your Ominousness!"
The pair mock-saluted, then took off so fast they bumped into each other, as usual. The dark lord of the underworld rolled his eyes. At least that was back to normal.
But when he emerged into the throne chamber with the little pink and blue imps in the lead, he was immediately met by a blast of unfamiliar rock music from the entrance to the death pool. The group Styx was playing "Grand Illusion" by the river Styx, as the incoming souls came shrieking by, clearly oblivious to this new welcoming committee.
Pain and Panic sang along with them, temporarily distracted and oblivious to their bewildered master's presence.
"Welcome to our grand illusion!
Come inside and see what's happening!
Get yourself some tickets for the showwww!"
They proceeded to fill in the non-singing part with air guitars. Hades grabbed both of them in mid-pirouette. "WHAT" he thundered, gesturing violently to the ghost band from the future, "is THAT???"
"We...(choke)...wanted to...(gag-cough)...LIVEN the place up a little!" sputtered Pain as Hades worked his neck with his hand, puffing out his face like a balloon between words. The band had stopped playing and sank out of sight, leaving only a few guitar strings behind.
"LIVEN IT UP???" Hades shrieked, spouting fire. "LIVEN IT UP??? Everybody's SUPPOSED to be dead!!!"
The walls shook and clanged with the sound of his rage. With a growl, Hades threw his subjects down like balls that rolled back into position with a pop. The black vapor clouds around his feet swirled thicker as he approached the throne room at a furious pace. Pain and Panic flitted beside him nervously, exchanging glances. "What other 'redecorating' have you done?" he demanded, just before the floor disappeared beneath him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Pain and Panic peered down the hole they had created, and in which their master now floated up from, panting with rage. "This is not good." Panic muttered, just before darting out of the way of Hades' pointed finger, which now spouted fire.
ZAPPPP!!! went the fire, scorching the imps' retreating forms, which couldn't retreat fast enough.
"I leave you guys alone for FIVE MINUTES, and what do you do? You turn it into a PLAYGROUND! Meanwhile, the denizens of the ectoplasmic ooze beneath your scrawny little feet have been playing with ME! You have no idea! I thought I was NEVER gonna get my hair lit again..."
The two minions just stared at him blankly, still sizzling and sooty like burnt toast. One of Panic's hairs made a hissing sound that filled the silence behind Hades' words. Hades' mouth twitched to one side in his characteristic show of realizing his words weren't sinking in.
"Just bring me my dinner, will ya fellas? Can you manage THAT?"
Promptly, they scattered. Hades sat on his throne with his head in his hands. "Aye-yi-yi..."
Author's Note: Just like the 50s song. If you know it, you know how appropriate it is. If you don't, you need to listen to the Oldies station more often;) My rendition of the Persephone/Hades love/hate adventure, based on Disney's Hercules. This would be the continuation of the latter. Please, no flames. (No pun intended)
Chapter 1 - The Boss is NOT Happy
Indeed, Hades was in a - really - bad mood when he arose from the swirling whirpool of vapors where he'd spent the last few hours involuntarily mingling with his ghostly subjects. What had gone around had come around in the form of grabbing, name calling, pummeling, and that had been from the nicer part of the population. The more unsavory ones had subjected him to a fate worse than death in ways even he wouldn't have thought of on his worst days.
Hades emerged, dripping with ectoplasm and scowling deeply. He summoned his fearsome subjects, Pain and Panic.
"PAIN! PANIC!"
Said subjects jumped at the sound of his ear-splitting bellow and abandoned their plot to take over the Underworld. Why did their master have to ruin all their fun just when it was getting good? They hoped he wouldn't notice the mustache they'd drawn on Hades' father's portrait in the tunnel, for one thing. Or the hole they'd blasted in front of Hades' throne and hastily covered up with rubble.
They slid into view, supressing giggles at the sight of him, then shrieks of fear as Hades exploded into a yellow burst of fury.
"What are you staring at?" he yelled, fists clenched as he stomped toward them. "We have work to do!"
"Yes, Your Ominousness!"
The pair mock-saluted, then took off so fast they bumped into each other, as usual. The dark lord of the underworld rolled his eyes. At least that was back to normal.
But when he emerged into the throne chamber with the little pink and blue imps in the lead, he was immediately met by a blast of unfamiliar rock music from the entrance to the death pool. The group Styx was playing "Grand Illusion" by the river Styx, as the incoming souls came shrieking by, clearly oblivious to this new welcoming committee.
Pain and Panic sang along with them, temporarily distracted and oblivious to their bewildered master's presence.
"Welcome to our grand illusion!
Come inside and see what's happening!
Get yourself some tickets for the showwww!"
They proceeded to fill in the non-singing part with air guitars. Hades grabbed both of them in mid-pirouette. "WHAT" he thundered, gesturing violently to the ghost band from the future, "is THAT???"
"We...(choke)...wanted to...(gag-cough)...LIVEN the place up a little!" sputtered Pain as Hades worked his neck with his hand, puffing out his face like a balloon between words. The band had stopped playing and sank out of sight, leaving only a few guitar strings behind.
"LIVEN IT UP???" Hades shrieked, spouting fire. "LIVEN IT UP??? Everybody's SUPPOSED to be dead!!!"
The walls shook and clanged with the sound of his rage. With a growl, Hades threw his subjects down like balls that rolled back into position with a pop. The black vapor clouds around his feet swirled thicker as he approached the throne room at a furious pace. Pain and Panic flitted beside him nervously, exchanging glances. "What other 'redecorating' have you done?" he demanded, just before the floor disappeared beneath him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Pain and Panic peered down the hole they had created, and in which their master now floated up from, panting with rage. "This is not good." Panic muttered, just before darting out of the way of Hades' pointed finger, which now spouted fire.
ZAPPPP!!! went the fire, scorching the imps' retreating forms, which couldn't retreat fast enough.
"I leave you guys alone for FIVE MINUTES, and what do you do? You turn it into a PLAYGROUND! Meanwhile, the denizens of the ectoplasmic ooze beneath your scrawny little feet have been playing with ME! You have no idea! I thought I was NEVER gonna get my hair lit again..."
The two minions just stared at him blankly, still sizzling and sooty like burnt toast. One of Panic's hairs made a hissing sound that filled the silence behind Hades' words. Hades' mouth twitched to one side in his characteristic show of realizing his words weren't sinking in.
"Just bring me my dinner, will ya fellas? Can you manage THAT?"
Promptly, they scattered. Hades sat on his throne with his head in his hands. "Aye-yi-yi..."