Title: By The Sea
Warning: Swearing! They swear! Bad bad bad…
Word Count: 1,056
Pairing: none yet…
Summery: The marauders decide to go to the beach for spring hols. But when they get there, everything is topsy-turvy. At least to Sirius it is.
Disclaimer: Here are a list of things that I do not own: a car, a working pair of headphones, "Girls, Girls, Girls" by Mötley Crüe, the story of Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling; along with any of the characters in it, a duck-billed platypus. I do however own a copy of Tokio Hotel's CD Scream.
Author's Note: So sorry this took so long. shrug and also I realized that this might sound somewhat like the ShoeBox Project. This is because that is what inspired me. YAY!
The young boy sighed. He was wet, and sandy, and that so called "nice breeze" was making him chilled. He felt like a piece of leftover fried chicken. Sure. He could have been enjoying the holidays, but he was stuck in this sandy form of hell. Sirius Black was in a bad mood.
"Ah! Yes! Let's go to the bloody beach for bloody spring hols!" Sirius murmured to himself, throwing a stick at the godforsaken sand. "Bloody, fucking poofter." It was only a few seconds before he realized that the "bloody, fucking poofter" of which he spoke was himself. His face flushed with more anger as his bad mood worsened.
"Well, you look a bit pathetic. What's your problem Pads?"
Sirius looked up and saw a giant tomato, with a bit of mayonnaise on its nose squinting at him.
"Ah, Pete," Sirius sighed. "The world is full cruel places, but the cruelest of all is this sandy pit of doom."
"What do you mean? I thought that this whole trip was your idea," Peter blinked, slightly confused.
"Things aren't right around here, Wormtail! It's all topsy-turvy," Sirius moaned. He flopped from his sitting position to his stomach.
"I'm still not quite getting what you're on about," Peter said, a little wide eyed. By this point Peter was sure that Sirius had finally snapped.
"LOOK OVER THERE!" Sirius groaned, pointing at one of the bar-like restaurants on the boardwalk. Peter looked. He didn't see anything too horrible. Maybe the food that they served was a little to be wary of, but nothing to bad. It was just Remus talking to some people.
"Sirius, I don't see anything," Pete said, scratching at his nose. When he did this the sunscreen that was there smeared down his face.
"What do you MEAN you don't see anything?" Sirius countered, hopping to his feet. He grabbed Peter's face and pointed it so that he was looking right at Remus's back. "THAT is not right! THAT is not normal! HOW in the name of Merlin's beard did he get all the girls?! He doesn't LIKE girls, he's MOONY!"
Peter took a closer look. The people that Remus was talking to were not just any kind of people. They were, indeed, girls.
"Nayve nits vecuzz nov vall is poltry," Pete replied. Sirius looked at him for a minute, before he realized that he was still holding Pete's head around the chin area. He let go.
"Sorry, mate, I didn't quite catch that," he apologized.
"I said, maybe it's because of all his poetry," Peter replied, shrugging. Sirius looked at Peter. Peter looked at Sirius. Sirius decided that he needed to start giving Peter more credit than he did.
"Pete, my man, you are a genius," said Sirius as he skipped away.
Peter watched Sirius go. He blinked.
"What's gotten into him?"
Peter turned around to see James. His face had tan lines from his sunglasses. He looked like a burglar.
"You look like a burglar," Pete informed James. "And I'm afraid that our Padfoot has finally gone off the deep end."
"Well," James said. "It was only a matter of time."
They both sighed, and figured that it was best not to get into it. So they went back to the swimming pool at the hotel, because Peter was becoming redder than a radish from being out in the sun for so long.
Remus watched as Sirius hurried past the hotdog stand. He had the most determined look on his face.
Well, this can't be good thought Remus, so he excused himself from his company and chased after Sirius. It didn't take long to catch up.
"Where are you off to so quickly?" Remus asked, falling in step with Sirius.
"MLERG!" Sirius screamed. He hadn't noticed that Remus was following him. "Bloody hell! Where did you come from?"
"Well, Sirius. When a man and a woman, whether they be muggle or otherwise, love each other VERY much-" Remus stopped mid sentence when he saw the death glare that he was being given. "Okay, I saw you walking by the stand I was at with this face and I knew that it couldn't be anything good, so I excused my self and I caught up with you and now we're here, in the present."
Sirius gaped at him.
"YOU WHAT? Moony! You never leave a group of girls that are after you, NEVER!" he exclaimed and then sighed. "Poor bastard, you've so much to learn." Remus just looked at him. They were just girls anyway. He really didn't even know how it happened. He was just sitting there, minding his own business, eating a hotdog, when all the sudden he looked up and he was surrounded by giggling and perfume. He really didn't know how to handle it.
"Well, I- I… I don't know!" Remus stuttered, but then he caught himself, "You know, you never answered my question in the first place!"
Sirius sat there for a minute, a small frown forming on his face. He couldn't even remember the question. There was silence, until a sighing sound came from Remus's mouth.
"The question was 'Where are you off too, Sirius?'"
"OH! Right. Well, I was off to the library, if you must know," he said, shrugging.
Remus mouth dropped to the ground. He couldn't believe his ears. He must have heard wrong. Sirius doesn't go to the library. Sirius runs away from the library. Sirius wants all books to be burned just so that libraries can go extinct. There is no WAY that Sirius would go to the library of his own accord, let alone RUSHING to the library.
"Moony, if you don't close your mouth soon I get the feeling that some odd reptilian creature will make its home in it," Sirius said.
"R-right. Sorry, mate, but did you say 'the library'?" Remus stuttered.
"Yes," said Sirius, very matter-of-factly. "Is that so weird?... Wait, don't answer that…"
"I- I- Why?" said Remus. He just couldn't get over the shock. Surely the apocalypse was coming any minute now.
"No reason, really. Just thought that I'd catch up on my poetry is all," Sirius replied, nonchalantly. No way would he admit to Moony that he was jealous of him.
Remus stared at Sirius. There was no way in hell that this was happening.