The Newest (false) Harry Potter Book Yet!



Chapter 1: The best birthday ever?



Harry Potter sat on his bed, sick of the summer. Tomorrow would be his 16th birthday (or 17th, the Dursleys wouldn't know.) He knew that it would come and pass, and no one would know or care. Harry thought, "I'll go to the Weasleys'! They said I could stay!" Harry planned his escape. He planned to fly to the house on his broom. He PLANNED to, that is. Harry looked in his trunk, he looked in his closet, he looked in the bookshelf, and he looked in Hedwig's cage! But he couldn't find his broom anywhere. "Dammit." Harry thought. "I could have had a decent summer." Hedwig swooped down, and perched on Harry's shoulder. "It's a letter! Who is it from?" asked Harry as he opened it. The letter said:



Dear Mr. Potter,

Please note that from sixth year and on, there will be special events. To be able to do these pastimes you will need permission.



"Darn."



Some of these events include:

Dances

Extra visits to Hogsmeade

Overnight trip to Dijon for a week

Visits to Diagon Ally

Later curfews



Please turn in the parent or guardian signature by October the 1st.



Signed,

Professor M. McGonagall



"I can't get Sirius's signature (RIP), I am NOT going to ask Uncle Vernon, what other signature can I get? I guess that I'll just have to get Uncle Vernon's." Harry thought.

Harry asked Uncle Vernon after breakfast the next day. "Uncle Vernon?"

"You just interrupted my favorite TV show!" Vernon gave him the finger.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Well, make it quick." Vernon kept watching TV.

"There's this thing at my school..."

"AH HA! YOU WANTED ME TO SIGN ANOTHER THINGIE? WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU AREN'T EVEN GOING BACK TO THAT SCHOOL! IT IS TOO HARD, HAVING TO DISGUISE YOU FROM THE NEIGHBORS! YOU ARE NEVER GOING BACK TO THAT DUSTBIN OF A SCHOOL! NEVER!!!

Harry walked back to his room, and sat down, banging his head against the wall just like Dobby had done in his second year. Harry didn't know what to do.

He thought he must have fallen asleep, because when he woke up the sound of honking and crashing came through the window!

Harry stuck his head out of the window, and he saw the Knight Bus. Harry grabbed his stuff, and got on the bus.

"Hi 'Arry!" said Stan.

They drove to the Weasleys' house in about 10 seconds.

"Bye 'Arry!" said Stan, and kicked Harry of the bus. Mainly because Harry had stolen some cookies.

Harry knocked on the door of the Weasleys' house. Harry noticed something was different about the Weasleys house. All of the gnomes had turned into mushrooms and were bouncing around like maniacs.

"Hey," said Ron, "Oh, you are wondering about the mushrooms? I'll tell you why. Ginny was trying to do a spell, but something happened. She was trying to get her room retro, and she said groom instead of groove. Look over here! See that big mushroom there? That's Ginny."

"Hi Harry!" said Ginny the mushroom. She tried to shake hands, but the closest thing was to have Harry grab her head that was a mushroom.

"Whatever." said Ron. "Let's go to my room. I got a new magazine! It's called Playwizard!" Harry thought, for the first time in the entire summer, that he might have a nice birthday.