I haven't moved in over an hour. Why haven't I moved in over an hour? I ha to be standing in that hallway fully dressed, smile on my face, ready to say goodbye to the woman I love and I'm here... Unmoving... For what is now over an hour.

I baby's cry finally forces me to snap to it. I turn to look at my beautiful princesses. How gorgeous they look in their matching dresses. I know Petra claims not to be maternal, but watching her fuss over each and every detail of their outfits proves her a liar. Every detail, from the contrasting blue and pink scalloped edge of their dress to the diamanté bows delicately placed in their wispy hair, I can see she cares.

'Well, at least two of us are ready.' I mutter before moving back towards the door, grabbing the garment back without giving it another thought - I can't afford to loose another hour over these thoughts.

Once dressed, I bundle the babies into their stroller and head for the door. I pause only for a moment as the sound of Xo's voice, before pushing out into the hallway.

It's clear that she's overwhelmed. Although her mascara has stayed put, there are pink tingles creeping across the whites of her eyes. I feel for her, and so I do the only thing I can. I distract her.

'Look who it is,' I coo, 'your half brothers grandmother.' I push he stroller towards her so she can examine the girls.

'Oh,' she says, clutching her hands to her heart, 'aren't they just gorgeous!'

'Like little princesses.' I agree,

'Of Arandelle?' Xo mocks, a devious smile creeping across her face.

'Ha ha,' I spit sarcastically, 'we just thought they were names, we didn't realise they were Disney!' We laugh together for a moment, before the small talk turns stale.

'So,' I prod, 'how is she?'

'Radiant.' Xo gushes. I try to ignore the pitying look in her eye, but it's hard when they're this bloodshot. 'She's good and she's happy - what more could a mother ask for?'

It's true, I mused, but not as happy as she could be.

'Actually,' I begin, not quite sure how to make it seem lighthearted when the weight of the day is about to pull me under, 'would you mind watching the twins for a minute? I'd like to talk to Jane before the wedding, parent to parent.' Despite her obvious skepticism, Xo agrees.

Suddenly my palms feel clammy and I feel a cold shiver run up my spine,

what if you can't let her go?

what if you never really let her go?

I pause outside the door long enough for one long, deep breathe... And then I enter.

The room is more purple than I was expecting, an obvious piece of Rogelio's aftermath. It takes me a moment to spot her, sitting with her Abuela and the bridesmaids, but she spots me right away, a smile breaking out across her face. I feel my heart warm, and have to warn myself that that won't be tolerated.

'Raf!' She exclaims, gathering her dress as she stands. It's only once she's verticals that I notice the simple beauty of her dress. It's so... Jane. The silhouette is classic, with the neckline forming the shape of a heart, the fabric flows down away from her body to form a pile of wispy clouds on the floor.

She makes her way across the room and pulls me into a hug. 'I'm getting married!' She exhales, rocking me from side to side with her embrace. The excitement in her body is electric, heck even I'm excited and this is the worst day of my life, including my cancer diagnosis.

As she pulls away, I plaster my fake (but charming) smile on again. She looks confused, search my eyes for some sort of answer, before grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards the bedroom, away from the others.

After the door is closed, and the silence is given a moment to settle, she begins,

'Raf,' as she inhales to continue, I a blurt of panic I rush, 'don't marry him.'

She stops mid breath, neither inhaling or exhaling, simply staring, eyes wide.

After a moment she continues, 'if it's about Mateo, nothing is going to change, you're his father and that's no different whether I'm with Michael, or single, or some other guy-'

'But that's jus the thing,' I interject, 'I'm not some other guy. I'm his father, and things won't be different if you marry him, but they will be different if you marry me. We could be a family Jane, a real family. With a house, and a yard, and siblings, whole siblings. We could spend holidays together and you could come with us to Europe. It's he fairytale Jane. I want our fairytale.'

For the first time since I met her, Jane is stunned into silence. I consider making a joke about it, but I feel it would weaken my argument.

'I love you Jane. That's why I broke up with you in the first place, to protect you. With all the crazy stuff going on with my family and the Marbella - I thought you'd be better away from me, I thought I could fix it all and then get you back when the time was right. I was wrong. I know you could have handled it now, if I'd confided in you, if I'd leant on you-'

'Why are you doing this!?' Jane blurts, it's only then that I pull my eyes back to her face and see that she's began crying. My heart breaks. What have I done to her?

The only words I have are, 'I'm sorry'... And then I leave.

I don't really have anywhere to go except my office, so I head there. I pass Xo and the twins on the way, not stopping to relieve her of her duties. She knows. She has to know.

I keep walking until the door is safely closed behind me. Then, I let it out. I throw things, and I smash things and I yell and I curse and I let out all the frustration.

Not the frustration from Jane choosing someone else, but the frustration that I couldn't keep it together for one day. One lousy day. All in the name of the woman I love.

When there's nothing left to break except bones, I lie down on the couch, my forearm over my face. Shielding the world from me.

I don't know how long I'm lying there before the knocking comes, but when it does I know it's Petra.

'Go away!' I moan, refusing to move from my seat.

When I hear the handle turn, I wish for the hundredth time in the past year that I had installed a lock on that door.

'Petra' I say sitting up, my back to the door and to her, 'I really don't want to talk.'

There's a shuffling, and then a weight behind me in the couch. I say nothing.

After a moment a hand caresses my neck. As the hand moves, I notice the callused fingertips. That's strange, the only person I know with callused fingertips is Jane from all her writing. How would Petra get-

I spin round to face her, dazzling beautiful, mother of my child, bride-to-be. She's only inches away when she would be across town at the ceremony.

I open my mouth to speak, but realise I have nothing to say. She moves her hand to my cheek, caressing my face in the way that only she can.

'I love you Rafael Salano.' She says, 'First love. Father of my son. Future husband.'

I can't contain my face as sheer joy bubbles within me, I cup her face and pull her to me, pressing my lips to hers. God, how I missed her lips. When there's no air left between us, we seperate, kneeling our foreheads together.

'I'm sorry I ruined your day.' I say again.

'Raf,' she whispers, 'you've made my life.'