Different anime/manga then Bleach!

Warnings: Mild cursing, cuteness of two adult men, maybe some weak hints of ShiZaya, out of character-ness possible, a pissy Celty, and Shinra and his ever loving perky ass.

Heiwajima Shizuo. Four years old. I have a slight anger problem according to my teachers. I think that's a load of crap. My parents, brother and I all know it has something to do with my head. That's about it... I think.

But this is not why I'm sitting here, outside of school in the sand box during Parent-Teacher Conferences. I'm sitting here because I was bored, simply put. Being a four year old with nothing to do but color can get a bit boring, believe me. My mother and teacher agreed to let me outside and continued their meeting there. It was a nice day after all.

And then it was not even twenty minutes later that he came over. Seems someone told his mom that sensei and 'ka-san were outside with me.

"Shizu-chan."

The tiny brown haired Shizuo glared at his three year old rival. "Iza-chan."

Heiwajima-san looked over to her son in time before he could say anything else. "Shizuo. You be on your best behavior or no ice cream after, understand?"

Shizuo pouted. "Yes, 'kā-san..." As soon as his mother returned to her conversation with Orihara-san and the children's teacher, Shizuo kept right on glaring at Izaya.

"Aww... What's wrong, Shizu-chan?"

"You, ya creep. Leave."

"Can't. Mom promised that we'd go to the park after this." And it was then that something occurred to him. "But why ice cream?"

Shizuo pouted and huffed. "'Cause. Mom always takes me for ice cream after she talks to sensei, 'Zaya."

The tiny Orihara Izaya took a seat next to Shizuo and stared to rake his finger through the sand. "Izaya. Try not to get too filthy this time, darling. We still have to see you father at work and you need to look your best for the ceremony tonight."

"Ceremony?"

"Yeah. 'tō -san's getting a promotion tonight and haha said we all have to look really, really nice tonight."

"Sounds boring."

"It is. No kid should sit through something like that 'cause it's hell!"

"Izaya!" Both children jumped at the Orihara's maternal unit's voice shouting across the way. "Where did you learn that word?"

"A show that 'tō-san let me watch the other day!"

His mother frowned. "And what have I told you about shortening words and names?"

Poor Izaya looked at Shizuo with a look that clearly said: 'See what I have to live with?' "Not to do it because you'll be disrespected in later life."

"Yes. And sit up straight! 'If your back's not erect, you won't get respect.'" Izaya listened to her and once both boys were sure she wasn't paying attention, they switched seats and returned to their conversation.

"She's terrible."

"I know. She never lets me do anything fun unless 'tō-san says otherwise. It's not fair!"

Shizuo frowned. "You wanna get in a fight to get outta here faster?"

"Nah. 'kā-san said if I get into one more fight, I'm being home schooled."

"Ouch..." The brunet sighed and flopped back into the sand. "Man, I feel bad for you. You life's gotta suck, huh?"

Izaya just stared down at him and gave a rather cryptic smile. "Yeah. From the outside the family's normal, but the inside's a bit weirder..."

After that, twenty years passed. Both boys grew older and changed in different ways. Memories from their childhood were replaced with new ones and "accidents" happen for one thing or another.

Such as running into Izaya in a dark alley in the south end of Ikebukuro with nothing to throw at the jerk. Seems people were tired of him causing damage to homes, buildings, cars and the like. Damn it all.

"Izaya!"

"Good evening, Shizuo~ How are you?" Izaya said in his usual cheerful manner.

Shizuo was on edge. Izaya was never this amicable. "What do you want?"

"Nothing much. Just thought we could share a snack." The dark haired male held up a container of strawberries. "Just a small peace offering after all that trouble I caused you."

Shizuo spun on his heel, waving over his shoulder. "Maybe next time!" He was quick to reel back when he was nearly run over by Celty. She held out her phone to him with the message typed out already on it.

Don't run away.

"Who said that I'm running?"

No one. But I bought the strawberries and gave him the idea. If not for Izaya, do it for me? Celty folded her hands under where her chin would've been had she still had her head. Shizuo sighed, knowing he couldn't refuse her. With or without her head.

"Fine. But for half an hour!"

I'll get you in half an hour, then.

"Thanks. The really reassuring."

This time her next message address the both of them. Have fun, boys! Try not to kill each other while I'm gone.

Izaya smirked. "Who said anything about killing one another?"

Celty knew that if she had eyes, she'd be rolling them. Behave, Izaya. Or I'll hunt you down to the ends of the earth.

Shizuo started to pushed her away, by the seat of her bike no less, towards the end of the alley. "Will you leave already! Come back in thirty minutes! No more, no less!"

Hey! Watch it, Shizuo or I'll get you, too!

"Celty! Just go already!" Celty waved good-bye and rode off to finish her delivery.

"Jesus... Izaya, leave me alone. I ain't hanging out with you."

"Aww~ But I brought strawberries!"

"Izaya! I don't care about you or your damn berries! I have better things to do than sit in a dark disgusting alley and eat fruit with you."

"Trust me, I ain't gonna do anything to hurt you. What the woman said is true. She bought the fruit, drove me here and told me to make a truce with you. Besides, I thought we could go to my office and have some tea with these."

The unnatural blond did like tea. Especially if there was a shit-ton of sugar in it. "I think I have some time to do that..."

And together, the bodyguard and the information broker made their way to the latter's office in Shinjuku. Fifty-seven minutes of pure tense silence surrounded the two until they were in the office building where Izaya worked and were greeted by the ever polite Namie.

"Izaya-san, you have meetings to attend to and e-mails that I forwarded to you to respond to."

"Cancel everything. I'm having an... Acquaintance over for tea in the meantime."

Namie was in shock. Izaya was always diligent about his work. She turned her gaze to Shizuo then and just studied him. And was this the fabled Heiwajima Shizuo? The one human that Izaya hated more than the universe? This was the Monster of Ikebukuro that could rip up stop signs and throw them farther than the eye could see...

"Of course. What kind would you like today, Izaya?"

Izaya hummed softly, busy playing with his flick blade, tossing it into the air and catching it in his hand. "Green tea. Make sure to bring the sugar along with it, Namie-chan." And with that, Izaya and Shizuo made their way into the former's office and the door slammed shut, causing some pictures on the wall to rattle in place.

"Take a seat, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo took a seat as far away from Izaya as possible. "I'm only here for the food and drink, nothing more."

"Not even anything about your past?"

Shizuo dived over the table in between them and gripping Izaya's shirt in his hand. "What the hell do you know about my childhood?"

Izaya chuckled, pulling his shirt from Shizuo's hand just as Namie came in with their tea. "Something, and nothing. Tell me, do you remember parent-teacher conferences from twenty years ago?"

"What? Twenty years ago...? That would make me... Four. And you would've been three. What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

The raven haired male rose from his seat and went over to a shelf by his desk, pulling something down and opening it as he moved. "Because there was the chance that we were friends." Izaya tossed the photo album on to the table, knocking it into the tray with the tea and nearly upsetting the cup closest to him. "Left page, top picture. Read the caption under it."

"'Shizuo, age four and Izaya, age three in the park.' What the hell...? I don't remember any of this!" Shizuo knocked the book away from him, irritated and pissed off.

Izaya wasn't done with it, however. He opened it to another page, holding it out to the taller male across from him. "You, your brother, myself. Playing soccer together." Shizuo grabbed the book from him, eyes wide in surprise.

"Mom has this picture on her nightstand! How'd you get it?"

"We were friends. Does your tiny peanut of a brain not understand that? We went to school together and completely forgot about our childhood due to the new memories and information we had to gain. Then once we met up again with Shinra in middle school, your anger got the best of you, as always."

"That's a load of crap. How do I know you didn't Photoshop these from pictures you found online?"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "I may be low, but I'm not low enough to fake my family's photo album." The older man's eyes went wide at those words and he scrambled for the book, ripping it from the others hands and staring at the cover.

Orihara Family Memories

"Holy shit..."

Izaya gave him a dirty look. "Watch your mouth, you idiot." Shizuo rolled his eyes and tossed the book onto the couch beside him.

"If we were that close, then what the hell happened to that friendship?"

"I told you. We grew older, our minds pushed our childhoods aside to make way for puberty and other nonsense."

"Like framing me for the crimes that you committed."

"Among other things, yes. But I want to start over and show you that we can be friends like when we were kids." The younger male thrust out his hand, waiting for Shizuo to do something.

Shizuo studied Izaya's face, looking for something that said he was lying. There was nothing. It seemed like he really wanted to make up their once had friendship. He raised a hand to rub at the back of his neck, feeling a little nervous and bothered by it all, but shook his hand anyway. "Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Orihara Izaya. Nice to meet you."

So the two friends from childhood became friends once again. It was a little surreal for each of them, to say the least. They spent the entire night talking and reminiscing about anything and everything they could remember until the earlier morning of the next day.

Shizuo looked out the window to see they had been talking for a while. "Crap... I gotta go to work." He yawned and stretched, his spine popping as a few vertebra were shifted. "Tom-san's not gonna be happy if I'm late..."

Izaya rose as well before something set the metaphorical light bulb off in his head. "You know some parkour moves. I've noticed you use them when chasing me."

Shizuo smirked. "You're not the only one who knows how to run away, 'Zaya-chan. Picked a couple things up from watching you run."

Izaya glared at him. "Don't call me 'Zaya-chan', Shizu-chan."

Both men shook their heads at their stupidity before sitting back down, this time next to one another instead of across from each other. "You should stay here and get some sleep. You look like shit, Shizuo."

"Thanks for the offer, but I really need to go." Shizuo stood again, making his way to the door. "You on the other, need to sleep. The dark circles under your eyes don't really suit you."

The raven haired male glared at him before jumping over the couch and standing before him. "Liar. I don't have dark marks under my eyes."

"Do so." Shizuo didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he traced the dark spots under Izaya's eyes rather gently. "They're there. You just have to look for them. Try placing cool tea bags over your eyes. And make sure to use green tea. Kasuka mentioned it to me a while back and it sorta helped him when he had a morning interview overseas or something." Shizuo shrugged and took a few steps back from Izaya. "So same time tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"I can pick up some stuff from Russia Sushi, if you want..."

Izaya gave him his trade mark smirk. "Same time, same place kind of meeting, then?"

"In a way. But really try the cool tea bag thing. It should help. Just lay down for fifteen minutes and your eyes should look a little better after-wards."

Izaya rolled his eyes. It was like his mother was standing before him again and yelling at him about taking up parkour. "I'll try it, but not because you told me to. Just because I want to."

"Yeah, yeah. And... Umm..." Dear god, what had he become? An incoherent school girl in front of her crush? How foolish! He was Shizuo of Ikebukuro! He was not a middle school girl with a bloody crush.

Both jumped as there was a knock on the door and Namie poked her head in. "Sturluson-san is here to see you..."

"Send her in."

Celty entered the room, looking all around to find nothing broken or ruined. What happened? I thought there would be running and chasing and-

Shizuo placed his hand over Celty's stopping her from finishing her message. "We talked. Had some tea and talked. But why are you here?"

Shinra sent me to make sure no one needed stitches. How'd it go?

"It went good. Now, I gotta head outta here before Tom-san starts looking for me along with the debtors." Shizuo was about to pull open the door when he was stopped by hands dragging him back. "Celty! Let me go!"

I talk to Tanaka-san and told him you needed a personal day.

"Personal day?"

Your goldfish died.

"But I don't have a goldfish..." Celty threw her arms into the air in exasperation.

That's not the point! The point is, you look like a truck hit the two of you and you both need sleep. I have some pillows and blankets packed on my bike. I can bring them up in a few minutes while you guys get settled.

Celty was quick to leave, leaving the poor nervous Shizuo with the insane Izaya. "Isn't that nice of her and Shinra?"

"Really nice. I'd rather sleep in the park than in here with you. She makes it sound like we're a couple or something..." Shizuo started to softly curse Celty under his breath when the door was slammed open this time by Shinra.

"I had to see it for myself! It is true! You two aren't trying to kill each other for once!"

"SHINRA! Get out!" Shizuo shouted at the underground doctor.

Shinra pushed his glasses higher up his nose. "Nope. Celty brought me along and told me to watch you two while she was gone."

Shizuo turned to the nearest wall and started to bang his head against it. "Fuck... Damn it, damn it..."

Izaya was just watching the poor blond bang his head on the wall. "You damage my wall and you're paying for it, Shizu-chan."

The blond waved at him, brushing his words off until Shinra came over and pulled him away by force. "Keep that up and you'll give yourself brain damage."

"I'd rather have brain damage than sleep in the same room as Izaya, Shinra."

"Hey, now! You were fine when we were talking earlier."

"That was then, this is now!"

Izaya pulled down an eye lid and stuck his tongue out in a rude gesture. "It's not the same~!" He said as he spun on his heel a few times before stopping and nearly tipping over. "Okay... I'm gonna sit."

Celty returned just in time to see Shizuo pinching the bridge of his nose, Izaya throwing knives at Shinra, who was being pinned to the wall by a few of the sharp metal objects. She knew they hadn't seen her return and that bugged her as she kept watching until...

She snapped. She sent her shadows to unpin Shinra and halt Izaya's throwing hand. ENOUGH! Izaya, couch. NOW!

Izaya gave her a rather flat look. "I'm not leaving my desk. I have work to do." The older Shizuo smirked and slowly inched his way towards the door, silently slipping through it until he was stopped by the very evil Celty.

Couch, Shizuo.

Shizuo groaned but returned to the room anyway. "Damn! I get this enough from my mom... I don't need another mother! Jesus Celty, let us go about our day like normal humans."

"Or as normal as you two get for humans!" Shinra said from behind his girlfriend. As soon as a knife came flying towards his head, Shinra ducked behind Celty again, only loosing a few hairs in the process. "Crap! You could've killed me!"

"That's the whole idea."

Celty hung her "head" and heaved her shoulders in a false sigh. Enough. Shinra, go wait outside. She waved a hand in the direction of the sofas as Shinra left her with the ever so pig-headed men, her shadows unfurling and showing off two sets of blankets and pillows.

Shizuo scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to think through the cloud of tiredness that fogged it. "Don' wanna sleep with him..."

Neither of you are going to be on the same couch. Anything that happens is your fault and your fault alone. Sleep.

Both boys tried to protest but were stopped by the shadows once more. Once she was sure they would listen, she removed the pseudo-gags off their mouths. Sleep. I'll come pick Shizuo up when he calls me, Izaya.

"Thanks. I feel real safe with him here." The taller male jerked his thumb at the shorter Izaya as he came over to sit on the couch closest to his desk.

"I ain't gonna kill you in your sleep. I'm not that low."

"Sure you aren't. It's like high school all over again and getting hit by the truck!"

"You didn't break anything! And you barely had any scrapes!"

"That's not the point!" roared Shizuo. He let out a grunt as he was shoved into Izaya's lap, the other male struggling to get out from under him. "Hey!"

Hay is for horses, Shizuo!

"Celty, get this brute off of me at once!"

No.

"Celty! You can't leave me here with him!"

I can and I will.

"Get him off at once!"

Again, no.

"CELTY!" Both men shouted as they watched her run out of the room. Izaya shoved Shizuo off him by force, making the blond bang his head into the coffee table.

"Fuck! That hurt, ass hole!"

"Good! Don't sit on me like I'm Santa Clause, next time, Moron!"

"You'd make a shitty Santa, anyway, Freak!"

"Barbarian!"

"Creeper!"

"Strong armed brute!"

"Psycho!"

This continued on for a while. Just the two of them bouncing names back and forth until finally, they were asleep. They had fallen asleep while fighting of all things! It was rather cute, to say the least. Shizuo had his head in Izaya's lap, using that as a pillow while Izaya was actually using the pillow Celty brought.

When going into make sure her boss was still alive, Namie found them that way and covered them with the blankets that had been forgotten on the couches.

"Finally... He knows how to keep his fat mouth shut." she whispered as she left, thinking of her adorable little brother and wondering about how he was doing with that foolish Mika girl. "Seiji~ How I miss you, Seiji..."

A/N: Story for deviantART user nana1013's Waifu contest. If someone can find some form of humor among the rage, violence, cuteness, and fluff: Please let me know?

Anything else: Not really. I spent a month writing this nine page demon while listen to all four songs for the DRRR anime. Believe me, this took forever. One reference to the ever funny iCarly and a couple passing mentions of Shizuo's little brother, Kasuka. Umm... Nothing much else other than I love Shizuo and he looks better blond than a brunet. And I wish I knew what color his eyes were...