A/N: Urg! Stupid dumb internet! It wouldn't work when I tried posting this yesterday...so here's my holiday oneshot a day late! Sorry that Piper and Aphrodite sound like idiots...it's supposed to be humor. I wrote most of this between 1 and 4 AM Christmas morning, so that's why it is confusing, sloppy, and random.
Happy Christmas!
Piper laughed. Twelve days till Christmas! She began putting on her makeup. Yes, makeup. Aphrodite cabin kinda rubs off on you. She smiled into the mirror.
Aphrodite was applying makeup too, in her home onOlympus. She had a date with Ares later. What. A. Hunk. She had a sudden flash to her cabin inCampHalf-Blood. Of course, she wasn't really there, she just saw what was going on. Her daughter Piper was there. Putting on makeup! Yayz! Hmm, how to reward the girl? Aha!
"Hi, Piper!" an image of Aphrodite materialized in Piper's mirror.
"Oh, wow. Mom!" Piper said, taken aback.
"Hi, honey! Merry Christmas!"
"Happy Holidays. What's up?"
"I have a present for you!"
Now Piper got a little worried. "A present."
"Yeah! Twelve wishes! One each day till Christmas!" Aphrodite grinned. Of course Piper would love it!
"Awesome!" Piper was excited now. "Thanks, Mom!"
"You're welcome, Piper! Wish well!" and Aphrodite's image evaporated.
A small, redish, glowing orb appeared on the vanity. Piper picked it up. How should she use her wish?
Hmm. La, la, la la la la. Yes!
"I wish for world peace." Piper said, like a true pageant queen.
The orb expanded, growing till Piper could no longer hold it. It burst through the walls of Aphrodite cabin, but didn't cause any damage. Still, it was enlarging, until finally it popped like a bubble of gum. It enveloped the whole earth. Then it disappeared.
InAfghanistan, soldiers from both sides ceased fire. Bombers deactivated their own bombs. InAfrica, they stopped fighting and everyone went back to their homes. Closer to home, the monsters stocked in the woods stopped attacking demigods, and the demigods petted the beasts. Ares children even stopped arguing! Everyone was so happy!
Except Ares. "Aphrodite!"
"Yes, honey buns?" She replied sweetly.
"Your idiot daughter is really annoying!" Ares bellowed. What an idiot, that Piper!
"Oh, Piper. Yes, but I gave her wishes. I told her to use them well." Aphrodite simpered. She didn't make any sense, but no one cared.
"She wished for world peace! I hate her!" Ares yelled. "Our date is off!" and he left Aphrodite.
Now Aphrodite was sad. But she got over it pretty fast. Everyone in the whole world loves each other now! YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
When the purple orb appeared, Piper sighed. One down, eleven wishes to go. What should she wish for today?
"I know! I wish that all the peacocks in the whole world would turn PURPLE!" Piper said. Purple was the color of the day. And peacocks sure would look good in purple.
The orb, which Piper had been holding in her hand, expanded like the last one had. The same thing happened and Piper's wish was granted.
Piper went to Hera's cabin to check. Yep, the resident peacocks were now all in shades of purple! All the campers were sure to be delighted, not to mention zookeepers around the world!
Piper was right, everyone loves purple peacocks.
Except Hera. "Aphrodite!"
"Yes?" Aphrodite loved it when Hera called. She usually wanted fashion advice, which Aphrodite loved to give.
"Your moronic daughter, Piper, has turned all my sacred peacocks purple! Make her turn them back!" Hera stormed.
"Oh, but Queen Hera, I gave her wishes and I can't make her switch things back. Sorry!" Aphrodite still wasn't making much sense, but everyone ignored it.
"Fine, if you won't fix my peacocks, I'm taking your doves! Doves are now the sacred bird of Hera!" Hera snapped her fingers and made it so.
Aphrodite cried a little, but then she realized that the purple peacocks were hers! YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
Today's orb was blue. Piper thought of Percy and the ocean. "Let's see, what could I do with this wish?"
Ocean. Fish. Water. ICE!
"I wish that the all the water on earth would freeze solid so we could go ice skating."
The orb grew and granted her wish. Everyone inCampHalf-Bloodgot on ice skates that magically appeared when the water froze. They all ice skated for hours. So did the former soldiers that now were best friends. But those people were across the globe. Still, everyone loved the ginormous ice skating rink!
Except Poseidon. "Aphrodite!"
"Yes, Water God?" She replied flirtatiously.
"Your daughter Piper is an imbecile! She froze my water!"
Aphrodite gave the same excuse she had given before, making no sense, but no one paid any attention to that fact.
"You know what Aphrodite? My trident is telling me that it wants to destroy some makeup…" Poseidon said, then he proceeded to smash as much makeup as he could find. Aphrodite tried to stop him, but she couldn't. Then she was happy when she saw lots of romantics skating together. Ice is so romantic. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
A yellow orb appeared. It glowed just like the others, and Piper thought it looked like the sun. Wouldn't it be great if the sun was out at night and the moon was out in the day?
"I wish the moon and the sun would always be out, like they were the same thing." Piper said. Then everyone can party all night and sleep all day and no one can get mad!
Of course the orb obeyed her wishes, so suddenly, it was night and day at the same time. Randomly party music turned on and the whole world started dancing. Everyone had fun.
Except Artemis and Apollo.
"Aphrodite!" they yelled at the same time.
"Yes?" she asked, looking with slight disgust at Artemis. She had a stupid No-Boys policy. She was no fun. Apollo on the other hand…
"Your daughter is so dumb! She got us stuck together, see?" Apollo and Artemis said. Yeah, they had gotten stuck together, like Siamese twins. They were literally attached at the hip.
Aphrodite voiced her excuse the fourth time. She still made no sense, but that fact was overlooked.
"If you can't get us unstuck, we'll unstick your accessories!" They snapped their fingers, and all of Aphrodite's accessories fell apart.
She was horrified, but then she heard the party music and had lots of fun dancing. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
Another orb, a black one, showed up in Piper's hand. Nico would like this orb. Piper remembered her sister's pet turtle that had died a week ago.
"I wish that dead things would come back to life."
Her wish was granted, and the turtle came back to life. Her sister was delighted, as were many other campers that had lost pets. Other people around the globe welcomed undead pets into their homes. Everyone was overjoyed.
Except Hades.
"Aphrodite!"
"Yes, Hades?" She replied sweetly.
"Your daughter is a brainless chicken!"
"I gave her wishes, she was going to wish well. It will all be purple in the end. Or pink. I like peacocks!" Same old nonsense.
"I'm gonna kill your peacocks!" Hades spat. And he did.
Aphrodite was heartbroken. But then she found a pink poodle named Gladiola who had come back to life, and she was joyful again. Pink Poodles! YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
Today's orb was a dull grey. How boring. Like Athena's cabin, spouting random smartness in peoples' faces. Sometimes they confused Piper.
"I wish that all the smart people would dumb down so everyone could understand each other." Piper said, and her wish was granted.
Annabeth was drawing architect blueprints, but when Piper's wish was granted she crumpled up her paper and drew a house like a kindergartener would. It was an amazing picture. The house was pink! And the windows were orange. She colored it with crayons. Everyone saw her 96 pack of Crayolas and joined in on the fun. Percy drew a picture of him and Annabeth by the house she drew. Other smart people found simpler ways to say/do things, and all the less smart people were able to help them. Everyone was happy with the new smart people.
Except Athena.
"Aphrodite!"
"Yes, Athena?" Aphrodite rolled her eyes. Probably she had some fact about something really boring and she just had to recite it.
"Piper, your newest daughter, is a half witted, senseless, laughable fool. She has made all my children just like her!"
"Oh, yes, isn't it all just so pinky? I love wishes. Boxes and circles are nice too." Still, she made no sense at all…it went unnoticed.
"I am prepared to…Aha! I will make all your clothes printed with algebraic expressions and other facts!" Athena clapped her hands.
Aphrodite looked at her outfit. It was like looking at Hades' clothes, but instead of souls, she saw information! It was terrible! But then she glanced up at the kids, and they were still coloring their huge pictures with crayons. So cute! YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
The orb was a coppery gold. Like the ugly metal that Hephaestus kids used to make automatons. Blech.
"I wish that all metals like this were gone." Piper said, still thinking about the disgusting mechanical objects. They disappeared, and because Hephaestus cabin was mostly made of metal, it kind of wasn't there anymore. The children of Hephaestus were worried for a few minutes, but then an enormous tent appeared and everyone went camping, even though they were already atCampHalf-Blood. Everyone loved camping and making s'mores.
Except Hephaestus.
"Aphrodite!"
"What do you want, hubby?" she asked, rather rudely.
"I want your buffoon of a daughter to get my metal back!"
"Sorry, that won't happen, unless you can make a wish orb just as amazing as I can, like all colorful and rainbowlike!" Senseless...but no one cares.
"If you're allowed to make all my metal go away, I'm gonna make your shoes implode!" And the rejected husband took his anger out on his deserving cheat of a wife.
Aphrodite opened her mouth to begin wailing, but someone burnt a marshmallow and she tasted the yummy smoke and was all happy again. S'mores are delicious. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
Another orb, this time a lively green. Eww...like broccoli. And spinach. And...celery.
"I wish all vegetable plants would, like, go away!" Piper's wish came true by the rainbow unicorn power of the magical orb.
Kids around the world cheered as their parents relented and allowed them to throw away their vegetables. The parents indulged in giving their children sweets before dinner, and the parents ate sweets too. Everyone was very unhealthy but happy.
Except Demeter.
"Aphrodite!"
"Yes, Demeter?" Aphrodite was getting bored of this. People kept getting mad at her for no reason.
"Your nitwit daughter has ruined my health pyramid! And balanced nutrition programs! And appetites! And fields! My poor vegetables!" Demeter ranted.
Aphrodite mumbled some more of her nonsense talk but no one was listening.
"I am going to make all your oil based makeup spoil!" and poof, Aphrodite lost half of her makeup supply.
She was near tears again, but she was comforted by the yummy candy that she got to eat instead of her vegetables. No more disgusting greens! YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
The 9th orb, a brown color, like chocolate. Mmm, chocolate. Travis and Connor had stolen her chocolate one time. Revenge time!
"I wish that boys would give girls chocolate instead of steal stuff from them." And the orb expanded like a chocolate bubble and popped like melting chocolate...
Travis and Connor backed a dump truck up to Aphrodite's cabin and dumped out all the chocolate and stuff they'd made a law that guys can't give girls less than 50 lbs of chocolate at a time. Then the girls who all got chocolate shared and the boys ate chocolate with the girls. Everyone was happy.
Except Hermes.
"Aphrodite!"
"Yes?"
"That twit you call a daughter just stopped all my sons and every other boy from ever stealing again! What is this?"
Apparently, nonsense, because that's all that Aphrodite was saying. No one listened.
"Well, I'm just gonna make all my daughters steal all your dresses and take scissors to them!" and Hermes did, so his daughters set down their chocolate and picked up some scissors (the child safety kind) and stole Aphrodite's clothes, then randomly cut up the wardrobe.
Aphrodite was mad, but then she got a whole Hades of a lot of chocolate from a whole Hades of a lot of guys. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
A maroon orb appeared. Piper couldn't think of anything to wish for because she was playing Pac Man in the Big House. But then a ghost ate Pac Man and she lost the game.
"AAAHHHHH!" she screamed, very angry. "I wish Pac Man was destroyed from the universe!" and of course her wish was granted.
At first people were sad, but then they found this other game called NaMcAp and everyone played that and it was lots more fun than Pac Man. Everyone was really happy.
Except Dionysus.
"Aphrodite!"
"What?" Aphrodite thought Dionysus should pump up the party some more!
"That annoying little brat daughter of yours, Patty McDonalds, destroyed Pac Man! It's not fair, I was the one who was supposed to take Blinky's soul!" Dionysus whined.
Aphrodite jabbered for a minute like she had been driven mad, but since Dionysus is the god of madness, he didn't notice.
"I am going to turn your boyfriends into dolphins from now on!" Dionysus yelled, eyes purple with flame. He twisted a pinochle card and Ares turned into an Atlantic bottlenose. "Hades, I forgot you were dating Ares. Oh well..."
Hades yelled at Dionysus, "I. Am. NOT. Dating. ARES!"
Aphrodite petted dolphin-Ares. He was cute as a sea mammal. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
A bright orange orb was Piper's wish today, but she was busy thinking about Jason and his hotness.
"I wish we could all fly like Jason." She said.
Her wish was granted by the rainbow unicorn power of the giant orb.
Kids watching Peter Pan thought they were flying because of pixie dust. Adults flew to work, but they partied rather than work. Demigods flew around in the air, high, low, fast, slow. Everyone was really happy.
Except Zeus.
"APHRODITE!" he bellowed.
"What, King Zeus?" she answered, slightly humbled.
"That disgrace to the demigod population Piper gave everyone the ability to fly in MY domain!"
"Sorry, Lord Zeus, I can't change it." And Aphrodite spewed more randomness. No one cared.
"I'm gonna send some airplanes to play…" Zeus said, with a sinister grin.
Back where the demigods were playing in the sky, three airplanes came zooming in. Piper stopped and waved, not moving until Jason tackled her. Aphrodite, who had been worried, sighed. So romantic. YAYZ!
:::NEXT DAY:::
It was finally Christmas! Piper's last orb was hot pink. Like the shirt she'd been wearing when she got her first wish. Without thinking, she made her last wish.
"I wish everything was back to the way it was before I got my wishes." The last orb expanded, grew, enlarged, and popped, granting her desire.
The ocean melted, no one could fly anymore, dolphin-Ares turned back into Ares, and Pac Man existed the chocolate law.
Now everyone was happier than they'd been twelve days ago. It was Christmas! MEGAYAYZ!
A/N: Hiya! It's me again! I hope you liked that. I have a real life story now!
Yesterday was Christmas (duh) and one of my sisters gave everyone a journal/planner set. Mine came with matching socks (amazing, right?) I was wearing those socks when this took place:
Sister #1: this is for you! *hands present to Sister #2*
Sister #2: thanks! *tears off paper and pulls out journal* hey, i got a journal too!
Me: yeah, but do your socks match your journal? I DIDN'T THINK SO! *waves feet in Sister #2's face*
True story. Yeppers. But that's not my favorite present. No, my favorite present was even better. It's a long story.
Oh, you have time to listen? Great!
So, my best friend and I are both crazy. We have a bucket list...a really long one. We have younger brothers that are the same age, and they got us the same thing, a cardboard box full of lemons, and a yellow shirt with the word 'life' on it. This present is amazing because now we can do like four things on our bucket list.
#17 "Stand on a street corner wearing yellow shirts that say 'life' on them and pass out lemons to total strangers." Pretty much self-explanatory.
#22 "Dress up like hobos, hold funny signs and bum money off people." Our signs will say somethings along the lines of "Need money to defeat the Dark Lord" &other Harry Potter/PJatO stuff, with illustrations :)
#39 "Leave a cardboard sign saying 'Invisible, Please Help' outside of Walmart with a hat and see how much money we get" Nuff said.
#43 "Sell Hugs: (hugs=free, deluxe hugs=50 cents, super ninja hugs=priceless)" Need I elaborate?
Yeah, we're pretty awesome. I'm so excited!
!DONT FORGET TO REVIEW!
Yours till the gods fade,
PJatOgirl