A/N: Okay, here's the thing: I'm a great fan of the polish version of "Ugly Betty." There is this guy who plays the prince charming (he's really very handsome, check him out). And I happen to have a friend who looks very like him. Also, they share the same name, make the same gestures and speak in a similar way. No, they are not related, but the likeness is so stunning that I strongly believe that it is genetically impossible. Still, it is there. I'm telling you this all to prove to you that the story I'm going to tell you is not unlikely to happen. This whole situation inspired me to write a fic with our beloved Royai couple (it feels like it matches them). But you're here to read the fanfic, not the preface, so I guess I'll just shut up now and let the story flow…

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or "Brzydula". I can't even say that I own the friend. However, I'm deeply in love with the Polish actor who plays the protagonist. Hell, I might love him even more than Sasuke-kun.

This fic is dedicated to my above-mentioned friend, who probably even won't know about it (because he doesn't read/watch FMA and he's probably never come across FFN), but it doesn't really matter. It's him who gave me the idea, after all. So let's give him some credit.

Episode 1

When Riza entered the office, she was greeted by five relieved glances. She frowned.

"What?"

"Glad you're here, lieutenant," Roy stretched his arms and returned to his paperwork. "You were gone for so long, I almost thought you joined the fanclub."

"What fanclub?" the frown left, replaced by perplexity.

"The fanclub of that stupid soap opera," muttered Havoc. "You know how girls in Central HQ disappear about 16.00 o'clock and gather in the TV room to watch it every day. We thought you were there as well."

Riza snorted.

"Really, colonel, second lieutenant," she addressed them in turn. "You should've known better. Seriously, I'm not into that crap. And for your information, I was in the library."

"You never know a woman's heart," murmured Roy silently.

Riza gave him a disapproving look and sat down by her desk. She was just about to resume her work when she heard a piercing, shrilly "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" Her head abruptly jumped up as she threw a terrified glance at the guys.

"What was that?" she whispered, frozen.

"The fanclub," answered Havoc casually, not even bothering to raise his head from his paperwork. Fallman cleared his throat.

"I believe it is called 'fangirl squeal', lieutenant."

Riza moved her gaze from one to the other.

"And you really expected me to be able to do that?!"

"You never know," repeated Mustang ever so quietly. She heard him anyway.

"Very, very funny," her eyes seemed to be saying. He pretended not to notice.

"Oh, Riza, c'mon! You've gotta see this!"

"Stop pulling at my sleeve!" the lieutenant tried to break free from Maria's grasp. But lieutenant Ross didn't give up.

"You must watch this! It's not a soap opera, it's a really fascinating series!"

"They always say that," Riza muttered under her breath.

"It's about to start!"

"Seriously, Maria, what's the point in watching an episode hundred-something when I have no clue who is who and what has happened so far? Not that I'm interested anyway."

Maria turned a deaf ear to the second sentence, but she caught the problem expressed in the first one.

"I guess you're right. You know what, I'll send you a link to the first episode, you can watch them online."

"Really, you don't have to…" replied Riza, meaning "Please DON'T."

"Oh I'm sure you'll love it. Besides, you have to see it for yourself."

"What?"

"There's something about it…well you'll see."

Lieutenant Ross turned on the spot and paced down the corridor.

"I gotta go, I can hear the opening song!" she shouted over her shoulder.

Indeed, there was some melody coming from the TV room. Before Maria walked inside, she addressed Riza once more:

"I promise I'll send you the link!"

And then she disappeared. Lieutenant Hawkeye just stood there, bewildered. Then she cleared her throat, adjusted her grip on the documents she was carrying and returned to Mustang's office.

The room was almost empty, only the colonel sat behind his desk. His head had fallen onto the paperwork he surely had been doing very intently. Riza smiled at the sight of her sleeping superior. As quietly as she only could she put her documents on her desk and walked up to Roy. Chuckling, she gently stroked his hair. He didn't wake up. Riza's gaze saddened. She loved him, but she knew he didn't want her. Well, he never told her so himself, but judging from his behavior, that was the only conclusion. And her feelings were too strong to be gotten rid of just like that. Sometimes she doubted she could ever manage not to love him.

She heard footsteps outside the office. People were returning from their lunch. Surely the rest of Mustang's subordinates would soon be here. Riza moved her hand to Roy's shoulder and shook him lightly.

"Colonel?"

He didn't respond. She shook him with some more force.

"Colonel, wake up!"

His head shot up and he gazed at her. He blinked several times.

"Did I fall asleep?" he asked a bit hoarsely.

"Yes, but if you resume your work now, no one will know," she smiled at him and returned to her own desk.

"Thank you," Roy smiled back and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it even more. Riza chuckled at the sight, then shook her head, sighed quietly and picked up her pen just the moment her colleagues entered the office.

When Riza returned home that evening, she very unwillingly turned on the computer. Knowing that tomorrow Maria would be dying to hear her opinion, Riza couldn't put off any longer watching the episode. Sighing, she checked her mail. And sure, there were two links included in the message. One was the preview of the pilot episode, and the second was the episode itself. Riza decided to go with the preview first, to get a look at how bad it would be.

It took only several seconds for the video to load. The music started and soon the voices joined. Riza took in the first several seconds indifferently. A silly story about an ugly girl who wants to work in a fashion house. Cliché. But then the protagonist entered, and the lieutenant almost gasped.

There he was, with raven hair and deep, dark eyes. He cast that appraising look at the poor girl. Riza knew that look. It was the "what-do-you-want-with-me-I-am-a-colonel-you-know" look.

At first she thought it was him, but a more thorough inspection proved her wrong. The actor was taller and, as hard as it might be to believe, more handsome than the colonel. He was also slimmer and his voice was a bit deeper. Still, the similarity was amazing. If Riza hadn't known better, she would've assumed that it was Roy's older brother.

She quickly googled the guy. Apparently the series was very popular, because his profile was easy to find. Then came a next surprise. The actor's name was Roy Mendez. Riza frowned, and her jaw dropped.

Age 32, no girlfriend. Worked in several theaters, currently acting in a popular series as Philip, the young chairman of a fashion house. The photo of an incredibly handsome guy beside the article ultimately confirmed that it was the same actor.

Riza minimalized the browser window. She didn't need any more reason to do what Maria asked of her. Turning the volume up a bit, she hugged her knees on a chair and begun watching the episode.

Riza was at work on time, but she was extremely tired. She watched 10 episodes in a row and only her better judgment finally told her to go to sleep. She was on caffeine the whole morning. At lunchtime Maria visited her to share opinions.

"I told you! I was surprised as hell when I saw it!"

"Well, actually me too," conceded Riza, rubbing her eyes. "How's that even possible? I mean, it's not like they're related or something. How could two different people be so similar?"

She was telling the truth. It turned out that Philip (the name she called the actor to somehow differentiate between him and Roy the colonel) not only looked like Mustang, but also moved and spoke like him. You wouldn't call him a spitting image of Roy, but it still was a phenomenon.

"I don't know, it must be some strange set of genes. Have you already realized that Philip is the biggest womanizer of the whole series?"

Riza gave her an amused glance and smiled to herself. This was just too much.

"So, are you coming today?"

"No, I guess I'll pass until I catch up to the current episodes."

"Ok, I get it. But hurry, I heard there's not much left now."

"I'll remember that."

Maria seemed thrilled. She almost jumped with excitement. "See? I knew you'll like it!"

Riza finished her work early and taking the last sip of coffee, she stood up from her desk.

"Sir, can I leave early today? I've already done everything."

"Oh," Roy was astounded. It was clear that the phrase "I've done all of my work early" was incomprehensible to someone like him. "Oh…ok, if you're finished, I guess it's all right."

"Thank you, sir."

"Some business to do?" he asked casually as she gathered her things. She smiled under her nose.

"Yes, sort of. I have something time-consuming to do at home."

Everyone stared at her, but she just took her bag and left with a simple "goodbye."

When she was in her apartment, she quickly fed Black Hayate. As the water for her tea was heating, Riza set a few rules to herself as concerns her new lifestyle. No more burning the midnight oil. She was going to go to sleep at ten o'clock precisely. Ok, maybe if the cliffhanger was unbearable or particularly mean, she was allowed to watch one episode more. But only one. And today, she was going to bed at eight, to make up for the sleep she lost last night.

Soon she settled herself in front of her computer with a big mug of tea in her hands. On her way home she bought some chips, which she put in a bowl on her desk. Black Hayate sat beside her chair and looked up at her. She bent down and patted her pet's head.

"Wanna watch together?"

He gave her a disapproving look, but she didn't see it. Sitting cross-legged, she already started the next episode.

A/N: Actually, I discovered the series myself. Youtube just offered me to watch a preview of one of the first episodes of "Brzydula", and I clicked on the link out of pure curiosity. But my reaction was very similar to Riza's. I couldn't believe my own eyes, too.

I hope it doesn't bother you that Riza uses a computer. I mean, it's not the appropriate time, historically. But I need it, you see. So enjoy a bit up-to-date Royai.

Oh yes, and forgive me the Maria-OOCness, ok? You know how we girls change when we watch a series with a guy we adore.

Please be nice and leave a review.