hey you guys! merry christmas eve! i decided for entry four, i'd do another hey arnold songfic. i did one a while back and i thought it would be nice to pay homage to another one. i'll probably make a part two to this as another entry in the 12 days of ficmas, so please check back and see if i've posted it! i really like where this story is going. the song is the bad thing by arctic monkeys (another throwback! ha!).

Do the bad thing; Take off your wedding ring; But it won't make it that much easier; It might make it worse

"Boy, am I glad to see you, football head!" said Helga, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

It had been ten years since Arnold had seen or heard from his grade school friend. They'd gone their separate ways after their graduation from high school; everyone had. He'd only kept in touch with Gerald, and let all the other relationships fall by the wayside. Quite honestly, he hadn't missed many of them. He missed the sense of community, sure, but he later realized that the "friendships" were shallow and meaningless. He'd flourished without his hometown, but he couldn't stand to miss his ten-year high school reunion.

Of course, some things never changed. Clearly, Helga had not changed her mocking ways.

"Hi, Helga," said Arnold dryly, hoping he'd be able to bore her out of a conversation. He wasn't looking to stay for a long time or a good time; he wanted to make a quick appearance, see what everyone else had been up to, and jump on a plane to Chicago. He was a baseball scout, and he was excited to see the prospective players. Chicago always seemed to have good players.

"What have you been up to the past few years?"

"Nothing much. College, work, the usual. What about you?"

Helga sighed. "I got married in college. I have three kids now." She raised her ring finger and wiggled it for him to see.

Arnold was surprised by this. He never really thought of Helga as the type to settle down early. After all, her father kept her on a fairly tight leash as a kid. Didn't she want a longer taste of freedom?

"Where's Phoebe? I thought you two would be together."

"I'm not sure," Helga said. "We lost touch after I got married. My husband doesn't like me to have friends that he doesn't know that well, and he never liked Phoebe. I last saw her at my wedding."

"I'm sorry," Arnold said. It seemed like Helga's husband kept her on a tight leash, just like her father.

"What about you? Have you got a lucky lady?"

Arnold chuckled. "Not yet. I don't really think I'm interested in a serious relationship right now."

Helga thought she was over her crush on Arnold. Although absence was said to strengthen attraction, but it was not so in Helga's case. She went off to college, met other guys, and totally forgot about her crippling attraction to her grade school counterpart. But after seven years, Helga was very unhappy. Her husband was controlling, and although she had more money than she could ever know what to do with, it was very hard having to stay home and care for three children. She understood how her mother, Miriam, had practically gone insane by being a stay at home mother.

But here Arnold was now. He was taller, stronger, and manlier. He was no longer the gangly kid who she'd grown up with. He was older. He was different. And if life had given her a different set of circumstances, she might just ignore the fact that he looked much better. But life had given her a pretty lousy set of circumstances, so Helga decided to satisfy her inner 4th grader.

"You know, I had the biggest crush on you in school," said Helga, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "I think I did a pretty good job of hiding it, didn't I?"

"I figured that out in college, actually," admitted Arnold. "I could never figure out why you were so mean to me when I was nothing but nice to you." He blushed a little. "I had a crush on you for a while in sixth grade, but you locked me in my locker and all that time in there made me reconsider." The two laughed heartily.

Arnold began to think he might be reconsidering that crush on Helga yet again. She was still beautiful; even more so now. But there was a catch in the plan now. She was off the market-seriously off the market. But she didn't seem happy in her relationship. He had to get more information.

"Hey, do you want to get out of here? And just…talk?"

Helga weighed the pros and cons. A night away from her husband with a man that he knew nothing about? Sounded like fun.

"Let's go," said Helga. And just for theatrics, she slipped the ring off her finger.