"Ryuji! You fool!"

The blonde fell with a thump and a groan to the floor as Robin Hood took off the arm of the shadow that had been previously holding him. Crow rushed towards his friend, every nerve of his body seeming to be on end. It made sense for him to be that way - he and Skull had met at a young age, after all. But he seemed a bit...off. Maybe Joker was reading too much into it; maybe he just hadn't noticed before.

Whatever the case, he had to wrap this battle up. He signaled for the group to rush the shadow, as it was distracted by what could only be called a lovers quarrel. Skull and Crow stood off to the side, going back and forth. Everything Crow said was eloquent and well-spoken, whereas Skull mainly talked in memes. He didn't understand a word of what Crow was saying.

They wrapped up the battle quickly and quietly, the shadow posing no issue to the team. While they had wrapped up the battle a minute ago, Skull and Crow were still going at it.

"You shouldn't be so heedless!" Crow scolded.

Squinting, Skull gave Crow a quizzical look that could only be described as confused. "Who are you calling pinhead, pinhead?"

Crow frowned. "I don't know what a 'pinhead' is."

"That's because you're a normie-" he cut himself off, seeming as if he were going to finish the sentence but not finishing it.

Crow cast him a warning look. "I have no idea what the hell a normie is, but we'll settle this later."

Skull snickered. "Yeah, we'll SETTLE IT IN SMASH!" he yelled.

From behind him, Joker could hear Oracle snickering.
Crow frowned. "And what does that mean?"

"It means we smash."

Exasperated, Crow threw his hands up into the air and stalked off, moody.

"Uh-oh, Skull. What'd you do?" Oracle asked.
"Shaddup, and let's keep moving before the bastard leaves us behind." Skull frowned, going after him.

They watched as he caught up to the upset Crow and rested a gloved hand on his shoulder. Crow's tension seemed to dissolve in that moment, his muscles going slack. He said something and Skull's face turned to the side - and was that a blush on his cheeks?

Crow seemed to smirk, leaning in and whispering something to Skull, and he exclaimed something back, indignant. What he said, they couldn't tell. But, it did cause Crow's face to light up in a brilliant shade of red.

"Well, I'll be damned." Joker said, smirking.

"I never expected Crow and Skull to get together, but I think they make a nice pair!" Noir giggled.

"So," Oracle asked. "Who do you think's the bottom?"

"Oracle!" Queen exclaimed.

"What? It's an innocent question."

"Innocent, my ass." Joker spoke, snorting.

Panther hummed suddenly, tapping her chin in thought. "Crow's the bottom." She said, no hesitation in her tone.

"Wha-?! Panther, not you as well!" Queen exclaimed, cheeks going cherry red.

"Hm, I'd have to agree with Panther." Fox hummed, eyes glazed over in thought.

"Ooh, Crow and Skull, that's one thing. Crow being a bottom bitch? That's the biggest surprise here." Oracle grinned.

"Sinners, the lot of you." Queen grumbled. Joker chuckled.

Well, they'd figured it out, so how long would it be until the two confirmed it?

The answer to his previous question? Two hours. On the dot.

They'd all gone out to scout the surrounding area for strong shadows - they had been trained enough to avoid most battles or just end them straight away. Joker was the first back - as always. He hadn't sent Crow or Skull out - mainly because he wanted to see what would happen while they were gone, and partially because he didn't feel like letting them get distracted otherwise.

He had expected a little cute conversation to listen to. Something warm and fluffy.

Certainly not this.

"Fuck...you...Sakamoto…" Crow panted.

He was cut off by silence, and then a loud groan sounded through the other end of the door.

"Not so loud," Skull growled.

Joker's face went a little pink at the implications of that remark, opening the door so that he could peek through. Panther rounded the corner suddenly and he shushed her, looking in as she rushed to do the same.

The position the two were in was...compromising to say the least. They were on a couch in the safe room - Crow sitting on said couch and Skull in his lap. The blonde's hands were placing teasing touches all over his lovers body, and both their masks had long since been thrown to the side, clothes disheveled.

"You...asshole...just listen for….two seconds!" Crow said in between sloppy kisses, squirming beneath his boyfriend.

Skull's hands stopped suddenly, hovering closely. Brown eyes looked into Crow's carmine eyes, waiting for an answer. "You have two seconds. Go." Skull's voice was low and rough, but he was also gentle.

"You worried me." Crow said quietly and earnestly.

Skull shrugged. "No need to worry if I've got you there."

Crow sighed. "You're an imbecile sometimes."

Skull hummed, leaning down for a soft kiss. Before they could process what was happening, their hands were roaming all over each others bodies, low groans emitting from the both of them as they hit sweet spots.
At some point, the entirety of the phantom thieves gathered, witnessing the scene.

"Oh...my." Noir squeaked, fanning her face.

Joker slid the door shut quietly, turning to the group.

Oracle wolf-whistled. "Damn."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Panther sighed.
"I'm afraid I'll never be able to face them with a straight face." Queen blushed, looking at her feet.

The groans began to increase in volume, and then became muted. It was at that time that Joker chose to knock.

"Skull? Crow? Everything okay in there?"

He could practically hear the two jump apart, fixing their clothes and masks. Joker raised his eyebrows, opening the door loudly and going in.

When he walked in, Skull and Crow were acrost the room from each other, pointedly looking away from their partner. Joker smiked.

"So, Ryuji tops, eh?"

i,, tried you guys
i haven't slept yet
kill me
anyway, that's 1 of 6!
yep that's right
6 fics
prepare your butts
maybe leave a review? it helps a lot more than you think!