SOUTH PARK: TIME WARPED
Written by Peener1000 based on characters and settings created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
Chapter 1: Missing Time
Four young children are standing at the bus stop. The same old bus stop they had been waiting at everyday for what seemed like forever. Waiting for a school bus to take them to the same school they have been attending for years. Across the street was a field full of cows standing peacefully in the winter snow. This is South Park where time seems to stop and linger. Where the residents seem a little stranger to the outside world, maybe it is the isolation and perpetual cold of the environment that causes this feeling of other worldliness.
The boys are Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, who was usually the late one. Today was a little different, though.
Kyle runs as fast as he can yelling about a new mystery he discovered. His breath forming chilly clouds of vapour when he speaks excitedly in an asthmatic wheeze.
"Ever wonder why we wait at this bus stop every day?" Kyle started.
"No, I guess we just do this out of habit." Stan answered.
Almost losing his voice in the rush of cold air through the nostrils, he quickly said, "I mean every day feels like the same, nothing ever changes. I feel like we have been here forever."
Earlier that morning the little boy was snooping around the family records to find his birth certificate. This was a bet he made with Cartman the previous day about when they were born. Cartman loved to wager about almost anything, especially if he knew he had the winning edge.
"So, what does the Birth Certificate say, Kyle." Cartman pushed in closer to see.
In a monotone of disbelief Kyle read. "It says May 26, 1990. That is not possible. I thought I was born in 2001?"
"You owe me $10.00 Kyle! I knew it because my Mother told me.", Cartman taunted.
The reply was swift from the other boys on Kyle's behalf. "That does not prove anything fat ass. I am going to prove you planted that to cheat.", Stan argued.
"So explain why the 1989 Denver Broncos were at the Drunken Barn Dance? My father was Jack Tenorman, he was on that team and now I know he was my real Father.", Cartman responded now angered by his friends lack of belief in him.
"Go home and find out for yourself, Stan. I am being serious this time."
The following day at the same bus stop the four boys were waiting for the school bus when Stan began to relate how he went home after school the previous day and asked his Dad, Randy Marsh, how old he was. Even though this is not an unusual question for a child, his Dad was reluctant to answer.
"How old am I. Why do you want to know that Son?" But Randy felt a lump of anxiety in his throat. How would he censor this question with a believable answer.
Stan replied with the usual; It's for a class project. This reply was never met by parents as being out of the ordinary, no matter how strange the request.
"Well I was born in 1952 so I must be 39." Randy said confidently.
"That cannot be right Dad. This is 2011 you should be 59." Stan was getting himself into something that was going to be the biggest mystery and trouble he had ever been in.
"Stan, don't ask questions and life will be better for you.", Warned Randy sternly.
Stan wanted to know why time felt off somehow. He began to believe that Cartnan was right. Life seemed to be going in a loop. He could barely remember what happened last year. Every day was just the same. The same snow. The same clothes. The same situations only slightly altered.
After he finished what had happened and what he learned at home, Eric Started his I'm right and you're wrong song dance.
"Na, na, na nuh, I was right all along and you guys a losers, Na, na na nuh. "
I told you guy's, there is something big going on here. And you never believe me. You really should give me more credit for my brilliance. Someday, I know I will be vindicated when all this is proven true.", Cartman said feeling proud.
He continued gloating by telling his own story of how he came up the theory, which was the basis for this bet.
"My Mother told me that she was born in 1965 but she is only 36. Explain that.", finished Cartman.
"Even if this is true. which it isn't, I don't care. This is the only life we know.", Kyle said with some disdain in his voice.
A moment of silence stopped the boys until the school bus arrived. was everything they were told a lie? Only time will tell and even that seems to be getting shorter in their small town.